by Gabe Hudson
I don’t dare look at her because the joy I am feeling right now is more than I have ever felt in my entire life and is almost more than I can contain. My heart has swollen to its maximum capacity. So I keep my eyes forward as I walk.
Now she smiles a beakful of fangs and says, “My poet who isn’t dead and who doesn’t care that I’m a machine.”
The moonlit snow is crunching under my green webbed feet.
Up ahead I see the dark mouth of the cave.
The sensation of holding her is the most wonderful thing I have ever felt.
To me, she is a miracle.
If I weren’t so exhausted, I would be weeping with gratitude.
Then she puts her silver beak up close to my scaly earhole.
I feel her hot breath.
We’re bouncing just slightly.
And she whispers, “My King.”
[ 91 ]
THE CAVE
We stagger to the back of the cave.
True to her word, ATHENOS has left something special for us.
It’s a letter. And three items. The letter explains what each item is and how we should use it.
Dear Gork,
If you’re reading this, then that means you and Fribby found a way to defeat Dr. Terrible. Right now as I write this, I am chopping up Dr. Terrible with swords but he keeps putting himself together again. I don’t know how long I can hold out like this. Which is why I am writing you this letter, and is why I have teleported these three very important items to this cave. Now here is what I want you to do…
Fribby and I stand there and read the entire letter together. It’s two pages long, full of detailed instructions and words of encouragement. I won’t bother giving you the blow-by-blow of the letter.
But I will say my eyes get a little misty reading it.
Now the first item ATHENOS left us is a syringe filled with a nanobot solution. In the letter, ATHENOS says the nanobot solution will grow back each of our missing wings.
The second item is the Evolution Machine. It’s kind of eerie to see the machine here in the back of the cave. In the letter, ATHENOS says she wanted us to have it, in case me and Fribby decide to conquer Earth while wearing some other creatures’ bodies.
Now I turn my attention to the third item.
I pick it up and hold it in my talons, turning it this way and that. I recognize it. The flat gold disc with the red gem in the middle of it. From that first night when Dr. Terrible found me in my lair all those years ago.
It’s the Prophecy.
In the letter, ATHENOS explains that the Prophecy has a holovid recording my mother made for me in her last minutes before they crashed to Earth. In the letter, ATHENOS explains that the Prophecy disc is the most important thing and that I should handle it with great care. She says after I watch the holovid recording of my mother, then I will understand why.
I’m too tired to think about it.
I take the syringe and inject Fribby with the nanobot solution.
She instantly conks out on the cave floor.
I watch her sleep for a second.
Her new silver wing grows out of her back just like that.
She twitches in her sleep.
Two wings are definitely better than one.
She’s going to be one seriously happy robot fiend when she wakes up, that’s for sure.
Then I turn and leave her and walk to the front of the cave.
Because I have some more business to attend to.
[ 92 ]
THE DRAGON KING
Standing in the mouth of the cave, I call out to the Red Rose.
“Red Rose, Red Rose, oh you immortal Red Rose,
I sing to you from the bottom of the claws on my toes!”
Then I sing a short poem which places a protective cloak of dense fog all around the cave. The fog is sentient and has fangs swirling around in it. It’s ghastly. The fog will protect us from any intruders.
Then I sing a short poem which fetches the pack of wolves to the mouth of the cave. They come howling and galloping up through the fog to where I stand. The wolves lie flat on their bellies in the snow and whimper and whine and look up at me.
Then the wolves tell me that this is the most beautiful poem they have ever heard.
I tell them forget about it. I’ve got a million of them. I tell them I’m the greatest poet this planet has ever seen. And things around here on this tiny pebble they call Earth are about to change big-time.
“My name is Gork The Terrible, and I’m a dragon,” I say, snorting firebolts out my nostrils.
The wolves howl and say, “Where have you been all this time?”
“You wouldn’t believe my scaly green ass if I told you,” I say.
“Well thank goodness you’re here because things on this planet have been going from bad to worse,” say the wolves. “The bloodthirsty man-creature has been terrorizing all the animals. The man-creature won’t rest until he’s killed every animal in the forest and every fish in the sea,” they say.
I tell them I got this and not to worry.
They say, “What do you mean exactly when you say not to worry?”
“I got a faboo machine back there in the cave that can swap out any two animals’ minds.” I tell them we’re gonna put a lion inside a caterpillar’s body and watch the folks freak out when a caterpillar eats a family of man-creatures in the park. I tell them we’re gonna put a shark inside a hummingbird so that the hummingbird will shoot through the air, biting man-creatures’ heads off, one right after the other.
Then I tell the wolves that they are welcome to join forces with me and that together we will be the Doomsday Squad. And that we will conquer the man-creatures.
The wolves howl, “The things you’re saying are crazy, and how can we possibly follow a big deranged lizard into battle against the man-creature? Especially now that we’re getting a closer look at you. We can plainly see you only have one freaking wing. Plus your horns are weirdly small,” they say.
I snort firebolts out my nostrils and tell them they better watch their fool wolf mouths if they know what’s good for them. And then I hold out my talon and say, “Snakespear.” A big black snake falls out of the sky and lands in my talons and the snake is rigid like a stick with its fangs bared. I hold the snakespear in a threatening manner and glare down at the wolves.
“Now let’s not forget who the boss is here,” I say.
They stare at me in awe.
I tell them if they know what’s good for them, then they’ll be like this snake that I’m holding here, in terms of being a team player. “The word of the day is sacrifice.”
The wolves crouch lower on their bellies and whine and say, “We’re sorry and it won’t happen again, sir!”
“I am the new Dragon King of this planet and I desperately need some sleep,” I say. “But when I wake up we will wage a war against the savage man-creatures and I will conquer them. The name of this war will be the Great War. If you don’t believe me, then just ask the trees,” I say.
“No need for that because the trees have been singing about you for years,” they say. “But we just reckoned those trees were liars.”
I tell the wolves they are officially now the first soldiers in the Doomsday Squad. “One day you will appear in my epic poem and so you will become legend.” I tell them that while I am asleep they should speak to the other animals in the forest and tell them to join our army. I say by the time I awake I expect them to have assembled a sizeable force who will join us in our war against the man-creatures.
The wolves snarl and growl and tilt their furry heads back and howl at the moon.
“Now who are we?” I say.
“The Doomsday Squad!” they howl.
Then I look at this one big sulking yellow-eyed bastard wolf and snap my claws. “You there,” I say.
“Yeah, what do you want?” he says.
“You’re the bastard that used to watch me sleep in my old lair when I was just a little
baby dragon, aren’t you?” I say.
He says: “Yeah, so what of it.”
“Well now you’re gonna watch me sleep some more,” I say. “Only this time you’re going to guard me and protect me while I sleep. Because you’re my new personal guard. So come with me back to the cave.”
“Well what’s my name?” he says. “If you’re gonna make me your personal guard you’re going to need to give me a name.”
I tell him, “I’ll give you a name once you’ve good and well earned it. In the meantime you answer to Wolf. Is that simple enough for you?”
I go to the back of the cave with Wolf trotting at my heels.
Then I take the syringe with nanobot solution and plunge the needle deep into my damaged wingjoint. I don’t know if I’m hallucinating or what but I swear I can instantly feel all those little nanobots flood my bloodstream and go to work growing me a new wing. I fall back on the cave floor next to Fribby and wrap my scaly green forelimb around her silver belly. I hook my claws inside her metal claws and then drift off into a very deep sleep.
The last thing I see are Wolf’s two yellow eyes staring at me.
[ 93 ]
THE DOOMSDAY SQUAD
When we awake we hear a cacophonous din outside the cave.
Fribby and I flap our wings—thwack-thwack—and fly out of the cave and hover there in the air, with our beaks hanging open. In addition to the wolves, there’s a bunch of other animals. They are all looking up at us and chanting, “The Doomsday Squad! Death to the man-creatures! Death to the man-creatures!” There are brown bears and black bears. There are cheetahs and lizards and monkeys. There is every kind of insect. There are bobcats and sparrows and owls. There are sloths and snakes and hawks.
The wolves look up at me and say, “How did we do?”
Fribby clacks her fangs with joy and sparks spray out her metal beak.
The wind is moving furiously in the trees, and the trees are shouting:
“You’ll bravely lead us to victory,
of this you can be sure!
After fighting many a pitched battle,
you will win the Great War!
Before you we bow,
because you are the King now!”
I flap my wings and turn to Fribby. “What now, my Queen?”
“Now we must get to work,” she whispers. “There are many preparations to be made.”
[ 94 ]
THE EVOLUTION MACHINE
The next couple days fly by.
Turns out Fribby is a whiz with the Evolution Machine. She swaps a hyena with a praying mantis. She swaps a tiger with a slug. She swaps a wolf with a daddy longlegs spider. First time I hear that daddy longlegs spider howl, it makes the scales on the back of my neck stand up.
Meanwhile I hash out my battle plans. I appoint an old wise grizzly bear as my Commander. I name him Surge.
Then I tell Surge I need to learn and study about these man-creatures, so I can better understand who it is I’m about to conquer.
“Yes sir,” says the grizzly bear, with a crisp salute. A little later Surge comes striding back into the cave. “Here, sir,” says Surge, as he bows and lays some books at my green webbed feet. “I found these in a man-creature’s cabin.”
Well, the first book I open is Beowulf. And as I turn the pages, I keep coming across lies about us dragons. About how vile we are. About how disgusting we are. About how uncivilized we are.
As I read, I start seeing lava. I’m getting seriously pissed off. Just holding Beowulf in my talons, running my eyes over the words.
This is what these bastards think of us? This is how they portray us?
But it turns out Beowulf is just the warm-up act. Because the next book I read about us dragons is the lunatic rantings of a man-creature that goes by the name of Mr. J. R. R. Tolkien. Now this nutjob Tolkien’s book The Hobbit is so full of balderdash and nonsense about my glorious species that it makes my toe claws shudder. I mean just look how old Tolkien paints that dragon Smaug out to be the most slovenly and debased creature in the entire universe.
Please.
Well the next book I read is The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, which has no dragons in it, but it isn’t half bad. No sir. And then the next book I read is The Catcher in the Rye. Now for most of the book I figured the main character Holden must be a dragon. But then I realized old Holden Caulfield was a man-creature. Just like that other fella, Huck Finn. But I reckon the two of them seem like a couple of pretty boss man-creatures. And if I happen to cross paths with Mr. Finn or Mr. Caulfield while I’m busy conquering Earth, I won’t eat them. Out of respect. I might even ask them to join the Doomsday Squad.
At one point my reading’s interrupted when a she-hawk comes flying up to our cave with news. It turns out that several miles from here, this hawk encountered some other dragons who were asking about me, showing holopics. The hawk tells me she pointed them in the wrong direction. I tell the hawk thanks and ask her a few more questions.
From the hawk’s description, it sounds as if it was Rexro and some of his dragon goons. I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean this is the last place Dean Floop saw my scaly green ass, after all. I decide to put it out of my mind. I’ll just deal with that problem when I come to it.
Anyway, so that’s how I learn to read and write English. Just sitting there reading about old Huck and Holden. Wolf never leaves my side.
[ 95 ]
WILL I BE FIENDISH ENOUGH?
Everything is set.
This is the last night Fribby and I have alone in the cave. Tomorrow morning at first light we and our army of animals will set off down the mountain.
Now that the time for conquering this planet is near, I’m feeling nervous. Tomorrow I will begin the Great War against the man-creatures. I’m sweating a little. I sure hope those trees know what they’re talking about.
Fribby and I lie next to each other, talons entwined.
Will I be ruthless enough?
Will I be fiendish enough?
Do I have what it takes?
She gives me a kiss on the beak and tells me she loves me and then falls asleep. She whisks her silver tail in her sleep.
Meanwhile my heart is pounding like a creature trapped inside its coffin, buried alive. And I’m seeing yellow dots swimming through the air. I start to worry: What if tomorrow when we encounter our first man-creatures, I faint?
I think about the fact that Rexro and his goons are somewhere out there. Looking for me. Eventually I will have to deal with them.
I roll over and something pokes me in my belly. I reach under with my talons and pull it out and hold it up in front of me where I can see it. It’s the gold disc with the red gem set in the middle of it.
The Prophecy.
When I stand up, Wolf starts to get up too, but I say, “No. Stay.”
[ 96 ]
THE PROPHECY
I go all the way to the back of the cave, where I am alone.
I place the disc on the ground and use my index claw to press the red gem. A holovid pops up, filling the air with a 3-D video of a scaly green dragonette.
I instantly recognize her. She’s young and beautiful.
Mother.
She is staring into the camera, but it seems as if she’s looking right at me. She’s in the spaceship ATHENOS. Behind her I can see the clear door, which is covered in flames. She glances nervously over her left wing at the burning door, and then looks back at the camera. Her spiked tail is whisking around, behind her, over her head.
You can tell when this Prophecy was recorded.
They’re plunging toward Earth right now. This is right before they crash.
She looks into the camera and says, “Now Gork, I hope one day you will see this. Professor Nog promised that you would receive my Prophecy. Do you know Professor Nog? He’s my faculty adviser at WarWings. He’s the one who told me your name would be Gork.”
I feel the scales on the back of my long green neck stand up.
�
��Your father and I tried to come to this planet Earth to start a new way of life for us dragons,” she says, looking into the camera. “But it looks like Dr. Terrible has somehow managed to sabotage our escape. We wanted to come to this planet and live in harmony with all the creatures on Earth. Including the man-creatures. We didn’t want to conquer anybody.” She smiles a beakful of fangs. “Your father calls it Conquer by Not-Conquer. Your father has a big heart, which is why I chose him for my King. But in his desperation to find a way for us to escape from Dr. Terrible, your father got mixed up in time travel and became addicted to it. With his time-travel device. Our spaceship has broken the space-time continuum and we’re going to crash and die. But I know Dr. Terrible is behind this. I don’t know how he did it. Your father says something’s wrong with his time-travel device. Please be careful of Dr. Terrible. If you turn out like your father, then Dr. Terrible will try to kill you.”
She pauses and glances nervously over her left wing at the clear door covered in flames. Then she turns back to the camera. “Even right now as I’m recording this, your father’s in the cockpit fiddling with his time-travel device. He still thinks he can fix things before we crash. Now what I want to tell you is—”
At that moment in the holovid a young dragon fella comes into the room and looks around suspiciously. I recognize him instantly. It’s my father. Small horns, a gentle manner about him. My God, he must have a Snacklicious ranking too. But you can tell he’s got the time-travel sickness. Even though he’s young, his hooded reptilian eyes look haunted.
He flaps his wings and looks at my mother. “What are you doing in here, my love?” he says. “Don’t tell me you’re recording a Prophecy?!”
“Well,” says my mother weakly, smiling a beakful of fangs. “You know, just in case. I want to take every precaution. Professor Nog said I couldn’t be too careful. With the Prophecy and all.”