by Susan Lewis
He put a finger over her lips, and lifting his head from the pillow, took first one nipple, then the other gently into his mouth. Then, pulling her down beside him and turning her so that he could see her face, he said, ‘There’s something I’ve forgotten to do.’
‘There can’t be anything else,’ she murmured.
‘Oh there is, believe me,’ he laughed. ‘But I wasn’t thinking of that.’
‘Then what were you thinking of?’ she smiled sleepily.
‘I was thinking of telling you I love you.’
Her eyes opened, and as she gazed back at him she felt a choking knot of emotion swell in her throat.
‘And that I’m sorry for all I’ve put you through.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ she whispered. ‘Nothing matters except that you love me.’ She snuggled back into his arms, thrilling at the feel of his hard body next to hers, the way its strength and power made hers seem so soft and vulnerable. She was, at long last, where she had always belonged, in his arms and in his heart, and it was as though she had finally found a part of herself that had always been missing. She felt complete.
After a while she looked at him again. His eyes were closed, and her heart tightened with love as she took in every inch of his face: the thick, heavy brows, the hooked nose, the thin lips, powerful jaw, and the unsightly scar. Then, as he opened one eye and smiled, her heart turned over.
She moved onto him, and he put his hands behind his head, looking up at her and watching her face as she sat astride his legs. She ran her hands over his chest, then lowered her eyes to his penis, and as it started to grow she glanced up at him. His eyebrows flickered, and she could see that he was amused by her fascination. Then, taking him in both hands, she caressed him to full erection.
When Claudine woke in the morning the room was flooded with sunlight, and it was several seconds before she realized why her body was aching so. With a smile she turned over – and then her heart contracted with love. For there were her husband and her son together, little Louis’ sleeping face resting on his father’s shoulder. Her eyes filled with tears. Louis came in to her most every morning, but that morning, having found François there, he had obviously climbed into the other side of the bed. He was curled into the crook of François’ arm, his tiny fist bunched under his cheek and his raven black curls tumbling over his forehead. He looked so small beside his father … she could hardly believe this was happening, had never dared to believe she could be so happy.
She looked down at the black mass of hair on François’ chest and tried to resist the urge to touch him. But when she remembered the things he had done to her the night before, desire surged so fiercely through her loins that her hand reached out for him. And when her eyes moved back to his face she found he was watching her.
She followed his hand as she lifted it to cup her breast, and watched the way he rubbed his thumb over her achingly hard nipple. Her eyes closed and her head fell back, but she knew she must try to control herself while Louis was still there. Then she started to laugh as she heard his melodious little voice ask François what he was doing to Maman.
‘She’s a little sore there and I’m making her feel better,’ François laughed, swinging him up in the air and shaking him. ‘And now, young man, it’s time you went back to your own room to get dressed.’
‘But I don’t want to,’ Louis protested, as François deposited him on the floor. ‘I want to stay here with you.’
‘Go and dress!’ François said sternly.
‘But Papa …’
‘Louis!’
Louis hung his head dolefully then promptly sat himself down on the floor.
Claudine saw François’ lips twitch, and had to turn away to hide her own smile.
‘Well, there’s nothing else for it,’ François said, flinging back the sheets and getting out of bed. ‘I’ll just have to throw you out.’
‘But why can’t I stay?’ Louis groaned, still hanging his head.
‘Because Maman and I have something we need to do. Now stop arguing.’ And taking him by the arm, François pulled him to his feet. He realized immediately that it would have been better to pick him up, but it was too late now, and Louis’ black eyes, on a level with his thigh, were round with wonder. François stole a quick look at Claudine and saw that she was convulsed with laughter.
‘I’m glad you found that so amusing,’ François said, when he had closed and locked the door behind his son. And glowering at her darkly, he added, ‘Now I’d better deal with you.’
‘Or I with you,’ she said, still laughing. He came to stand beside the bed and she sat up and put her arms around his waist. ‘I love you,’ she smiled, looking up at him. His hands moved into her hair and she heard his breath quicken as she ran her tongue the full length of his penis.
‘You don’t need to do that, chérie,’ he murmured, pulling her head back.
‘But I want to,’ she answered, and lowering her mouth to his testicles, she took them between her lips and started to suck gently. She had never done anything like this before, it had never even occurred to her, but now it seemed the most natural thing in the world, and when she finally looked up at François’ face she could see what an effect it was having on him … But he had a similar surprise in store for her, and it was almost midday by the time they finally left the bed.
When she joined him an hour later in the sitting-room, he was sitting at the table reading that morning’s newspaper. She sensed immediately that his mood had changed, and when he looked up she saw the deep frown between his eyes. She made to kiss him, but he turned his head so that her lips connected with his cheek. Panic flashed through her; she was afraid that even now, after all that had happened between them, he was going to push her away again. But he saw her fear, and pulling her onto his lap, kissed her full on the mouth.
‘I don’t know what everyone’s going to think,’ he said, when at last he let her go. ‘We’ve been here all morning …’
‘Does it matter what everyone thinks? After all, we are married.’
‘Yes, it does matter,’ he answered. ‘That’s why we have to talk. That’s why we – I – was insane to run the risk of staying in bed with you last night. I should have returned to my own room.’
‘I should have taken a very dim view of that,’ she said, going to sit at the other side of the table.
‘I daresay you would.’ And to her delight, he laughed. He laughed so rarely, but when he did his whole face was transformed.
‘Are you hungry?’ he asked.
‘Ravenous.’
‘Good. Arlette is preparing something for us now. I’ve asked for it to be served here. I’ve also asked Corinne to keep Louis occupied. Your father is taking the others to Montsoreau for the day; I don’t want us disturbed while we talk. Perhaps by the time I’ve finished you’ll understand why our marriage has been the way it has. Why it was necessary for me to hide my feelings, not only from you but from the rest of the world. It is still necessary, I’m afraid. I don’t have to hide them from you any more, but I do from everyone else. And you must do the same.’
She had already decided that she must be pragmatic, that she must respond calmly and reasonably to whatever he was going to tell her, and she started now. ‘I’ll do whatever you say. But can I ask why you’ve decided to confide in me? And I’m not searching for compliments, only answers.’
He smiled. ‘I took the decision because now that Halunke – that’s the code name for the man who’s been watching you and Armand – now that he’s struck at my family you need to know what danger you face if you stay here.’
‘If?’
‘We’ll come to that later. For now I think it’s better if I start at the beginning, which means going back five years to the time when your father introduced me to espionage.’
‘My father?’ she echoed.
He nodded. ‘He’s not the diplomat you think him, I’m afraid. He too works in Intelligence. In his case, British Intelligence, na
turally. In mine, French.’
‘Papa is a spy?’ she said, hardly able to believe it.
‘For want of a better word, yes.’
‘Did Maman know?’
‘No. She died with a great many things unexplained, and that’s something he has never been able to forgive himself for. Which is why I’ve decided that mustn’t happen to us. Not,’ he added quickly, ‘that you are going to die; at least not this week.’
‘I hope that was a joke!’
He laughed, but then his face became serious again. ‘You’re facing a very real danger, Claudine. The man the Germans have employed to ensure my commitment to them is also waging a personal vendetta against me. Who he is, and what is at the root of his vendetta, I haven’t yet been able to discover. But I will, I promise you. It’s too late for this now, but I wish to God you had listened to me before we were married and had gone back to England as I advised. Of course you didn’t then face the danger you do now, at least I wasn’t aware that you did, but I still didn’t want you in my life. I was committed to my work and wanted nothing to disrupt it. However, your father, and my own, were determined we should marry, as you know, even though your father knew the risks as well as I. And I had made a promise to my father which I couldn’t go back on. Nevertheless, I tried everything I could to dissuade you from marrying me – but your determination was even greater than theirs!’ He threw her a look to which she responded in kind. ‘So, once we were married,’ he went on ‘the only way I could see of avoiding explanations for my absences was to keep you at a distance. Of course, I didn’t love you then, so hurting you was much easier than it has been since.’
‘Since when? When did you start loving me, François? I’d like to know.’
‘It was the day you almost miscarried with Louis. In fact it must have been before then, but that was when I thought, irrationally, that you were going to die, and then I realized how much you meant to me.’
He stopped as the door opened and Arlette brought in their meal. François continued to talk as they ate, going steadily over the past five years, what he had done, the people he had become involved with.
It was past five o’clock and already growing dark by the time he said, ‘So, as Erich told us last night, I have to be back in Berlin by the end of the week. You understand now why I have to go, and you also understand why our feelings for each other must remain a secret from everyone. And I mean everyone. If you ever feel the desire to confide in someone, don’t. Not even your aunt. It is the only way I can see of keeping you alive. If Halunke found out that I love you, he wouldn’t hesitate to kill you. I’m very much afraid he’ll try anyway, sooner or later – he can’t be so stupid as to think you don’t matter to me at all.’
‘I’m afraid,’ she began, clearing her throat, ‘that Lucien and Armand both know I’m in love with you. Come to that, Erich knows that you’re in love with me.’
‘That doesn’t matter. Erich can be trusted. They all can, but I still don’t want Lucien or Armand to know how I feel. It’s simply safer that way. Lucien will be rejoining his regiment tomorrow anyway, but Armand is still very upset about the break-up of your affair. If he knew how I feel about you, he might tell his mother, who might tell someone else. And so it goes on. It’s better not to put the burden on anyone – because that, chérie, is what it is. A burden. However, I want to ease it for you as much as I can, which is why I’ve spoken to Armand. I’ve asked him to take you and Louis to America, and he has agreed. I’d like you to go, Claudine.’
‘No.’ She shook her head firmly. ‘I don’t want to, and even if I did, I couldn’t.’
‘Why?’
‘You know why, François. I can’t leave your mother and Monique, not now Louis is …’ She paused and turned her head away for a moment. ‘So I shall stay,’ she said. ‘Please, don’t let’s argue about it.’
He had known that that would be her answer, so he didn’t Waste time arguing. ‘Both Armand and I guessed what you would say,’ he said, ‘so Armand has agreed that he won’t attempt to join the army again, but will remain here to protect you as best he can. I’d never have asked him if there had been anyone else, but there’s no one. And of course he has a very real affection for Maman and Monique. And I presume I can trust you to remain faithful to me from now on?’ he added, with an ironic lift of his eyebrows.
The look she gave him in response was so blatantly seductive that he stood up, walked round the table and gave her a lingering kiss on the mouth.
‘Let’s go back to the Germans,’ she said shakily, as he strolled over to the fireplace and took his cigarettes from the mantleshelf. ‘You say they control Halunke, but I don’t understand how.’
‘It’s very easy. The hold they have over him is simply that if he doesn’t do as they say, they will reveal his identity to me. And he will know only too well that once I know who he is, his days are numbered and he’ll never accomplish his revenge.’
‘But why do the Germans want you so badly? Surely they have their own agents?’
‘Naturally they do. But the contacts I have here in France, in Britain, Italy, North Africa, make me an extremely valuable commodity to them. And having this kind of hold over me – someone endangering my family the way Halunke is – suits them perfectly.’
‘And they gave him permission to kill your father because you deceived them over these Frenchmen? I can hardly believe it. It seems … Well, it seems so extreme.’
‘Their methods are extreme, chérie. Which is why I can’t run the risk of deceiving them again.’
‘So what are you going to do?’
‘God only knows,’ he sighed. ‘All the information I have given them to date has come from the French Government itself. Or in some cases, the British. But since the Allies have discovered that someone has a personal vendetta against me, they’ve closed ranks – wisely, I must admit – which means they are no longer prepared to give me information to feed to the Germans. And if the Germans don’t get what they want, they’ll tell Halunke he’s free to do as he pleases. Of course, this game we’ve played – the SR, the Services de Renseignements and I – with the Germans was bound to come to an end sooner or later, and it’s my guess the Germans have known for some time they were being duped, not only by me but by three or four other French agents as well. Until now it has suited the Germans to play the game too, but things are changing fast and already the French Secret Service have pulled my colleagues out of Germany. They, of course, don’t face the threat of Halunke. For me, there’s nothing the French can do. They can’t even run the risk of trusting me any longer. And nor should you.’
‘But surely you’re not saying that you’re going to become a traitor?’
‘Who knows? In a month, a year from now they may force me to make a choice between my family and my country. And when it comes to the crunch – which it will do, if we don’t discover Halunke’s identity – there’s no knowing which I shall choose.’
She took a moment to digest this, then looking at him again, she said, ‘Do you have any idea who Halunke might be?’
He shook his head. ‘No. Erich has a hunch, though I think he’s heading down the wrong path.’
‘Have you told him that?’
‘No, because there have been times in the past when I have been wrong and Erich right. That’s why I trust him so implicitly. However, there is someone else, besides von Liebermann, who knows who Halunke is.’
‘Well?’ she said, when he stopped.
‘His name is Max Helber – also a member of the Abwehr.’
‘Will he tell you?’
‘Perhaps. In return for certain … shall we say, favours?’
‘What kind of favours?’
‘The kind of favours I would rather not discuss.’
She looked puzzled for a moment, then her eyes dilated. ‘Do you mean …? Is he …?’
He nodded slowly. ‘Yes, my darling, he is a homosexual.’
‘But you can’t do it!’
&nb
sp; ‘I may have to if Erich doesn’t come up with an answer soon.’
They were both subdued when they went to join the family for dinner, and later, as she lay in his arms, she wanted to weep for the choices that lay before him. She knew from the way he made love to her, without the urgency of the night before, but with a tenderness and feeling that filled her heart with love, that he was thinking the same. If only there was something she could do! But she had no means of providing him with the information the Germans required, nor was she equipped to satisfy the desires of Max Helber.
She lay awake for a long time, listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing and thinking back over the three years she had known him. It was a terrible pass they had come to now, but nothing, nothing in the world, would ever make her regret marrying him.
Halunke’s breath thickened the fog around his face as he pressed through the forest, his feet slithering in the slimy undergrowth. Once or twice he chuckled aloud to himself, elated by his discovery. So, de Lorvoire did love his wife after all! Even so, there was no reason to make a move on her just yet. It would be much more intriguing to see how far down the road of traitordom he could push de Lorvoire before letting him know that it had all been for nothing … And in the meantime, should von Liebermann for any reason require that de Lorvoire be taught another lesson, why not remove his beloved brother? Or better still, his wife’s protector the vigneron? The perversity of this idea appealed to him strongly, and he laughed even louder.
Pity, he thought, as he got into his car, that the old man had died of his own volition – well, almost. For it was the revelation of his, Halunke’s, identity that had jolted the old Comte’s heart into arrest.
– 24 –
IN THE WEEKS that followed François’ departure from Lorvoire, Claudine experienced such paradoxes of emotion that she often found herself laughing and crying at the same time. Things had moved so quickly between them in such a short time that she couldn’t get used to the idea that he loved her, and there were times when she was half-afraid it had all happened in a dream. But then she had only to picture his face in her mind’s eye – to see the tenderness of his smile as he gazed into her eyes, to feel the power of his touch as he caressed her, to hear the humorous lilt in his voice when he told her he loved her – for her heart to fill with love and certainty. That he trusted her, that he had chosen to draw her so securely into his life, made her almost dizzy with joy and relief.