by Liz Talley
“You remember correctly, though if you want to make it four, I’ll meet you in the ladies’ room.”
“I’d rather be tarred and feathered than have sex in the handicap stall of McCavity’s.” She picked up the menu he’d slid between the salt-and-pepper shakers.
“You could do both. Sounds kinky.”
She leveled those golden brown eyes at him. “Not on the menu, big boy.”
“Damn, thought I might get lucky.”
Renny pulled her gaze from the menu and studied him. “You know what I am?”
“Gorgeous? Sexy? Smart?”
“No, I’m the kid that can’t stop playing with fire. You know that kid, right? Been burned but still lighting the match and letting it burn till it singes her fingers? You’re a sickness, you know.”
He didn’t know what to say to that.
“So, here we go again. Why did you invite me here?” she asked as she perused the menu.
He pushed the edge of the paper down, drawing her attention. “Why did you come?”
“I don’t know,” she said, her tone a little angry. At him or herself?
“Well, I actually have a reason. I’ve been thinking a lot since I dropped you off at your house a few nights ago, and I have something to ask you. But first, I want you to understand where I’m coming from.”
She allowed the paper to drop and her eyebrows lifted. The waitress set an icy beer on the table as if she knew it was needed.
“I’ve spent the past few years living within parameters. The navy’s been good to me, but I didn’t want to stay in. As I considered what life would hold for me, I never thought about coming back here. I didn’t want to deal with my past, and we’ve gone over how I’m good at avoiding anything that makes me uncomfortable, so no need to beat a dead horse.”
“Okay, I won’t.” Renny took a draw on her beer and nodded as if to encourage him.
“But I came home, and all the plans I had for myself suddenly didn’t seem so solid, especially when we found out the way we ended wasn’t, well, the way we thought. So I’ve been questioning whether my initial plan to live anywhere other than Bayou Bridge was the right plan. And then there’s you.”
He stopped because he knew what he was about to ask of her could be met with crickets.
“You constantly ask me why I keep showing up, and it’s not because of things left unsaid. What’s going on between us is something new, something different. I don’t think what I feel for you is based strictly on the past.”
“You’re saying your feelings aren’t leftover.”
He nodded. “Right. Not leftover.”
The waitress appeared at his elbow, interrupting to collect their order, before melding back into the background.
“Okay,” Renny breathed, tucking the menu back between the salt-and-pepper shakers. “You were saying...”
“...that I understand where you stand. I respect you enough not to ask you to risk your heart, but I would like to ask for a compromise.”
“A compromise?”
“Are you willing to start over?”
Her brow furrowed. “Start over?”
“Hear me out. You said something that struck me as important a few days ago. You said we’re different people on different paths. That’s true. We are different. There’s a lot about you I don’t know, and I want to know you, Renny. So I’d like you to consider dating me for the next few weeks.”
“You want us to date? Isn’t that a little backward? We already had sex.”
He couldn’t stop the smile at his lips. “Yeah, a little backward, but I don’t want to walk away from you yet. I think we both owe ourselves the chance we didn’t get all those years ago.”
“So you want us to date, get to know one another, and then decide if it can be more than...”
“Dating.”
“But that’s taking a risk.”
“No more so than you take with any other guy you date. I want to be any other guy. The past is behind us, and I’m calling for a mulligan. That is, if you agree.”
Renny’s eyes left his for a moment. Then she looked back. “Starting all over?”
“In theory. I want to know you better, and I want to explore this direction. Things between us may not work out, so it’s a risk for both of us, but it’s the same risk every person takes when pulling in close to the fire. Either one of us could get burned, but I think it’s worth a shot. What I feel when I’m with you tells me so.”
“I don’t know. It sounds rational, almost too rational for you,” she said, a slight smile hovering around her gorgeous lips. “But rational appeals to me, and you make a good point—we never got to choose each other.”
“So?”
“So, as a scientist I like process, and oddly enough, I think you’re right. There is something between us, something more than sex. The only way we’ll find out if there could be a future is to experiment.”
“I like your experiments.”
Renny shot him a withering look. “Not that kind of experiment. I’m thinking more along the lines of cheese fries and ice cream. So, sure, let’s get to know one another and see where we stand in a few weeks. That doesn’t seem so precarious.”
Relief pooled in his stomach. Until that moment, he hadn’t realized how much he’d hoped she would agree to his plan. After talking to Hal, it had struck him as the easiest way to test the winds. He had to know what he was headed toward, and though he knew the places Renny liked to be kissed, he didn’t know much else about the woman she’d become.
“So, I want to know about your job. Your life. What you dream about,” he said, taking another sip of his beer as the rest of the world swirled by, chatting about football, tapping their feet to Sheryl Crow crooning over the speakers and munching on food that hardened the arteries.
“First tell me about why you chose Seattle. Seems random.”
He settled in, ready to be date-like. “Well, I visited once a few years back for a friend’s wedding and thought it was a cool city—there’s a sort of naturalness layered with sophistication that appealed to me. Then a couple of months ago, I met someone whose father was looking for a partner, and she thought I’d be a good fit. Washington State is so different from Louisiana, and I guess that appealed to me.”
“You said she.”
“What?”
“This friend. She.”
“Oh. Well, her name’s Shelby. She used to teach at the base school and we struck up a friendship.”
“Is she the reason you’re considering Seattle?”
“I won’t lie. She’s a cool girl and I had thought I might go that direction.”
“And now?”
He shifted his chair and tried to forget the guilt associated with Shelby. “Now, I don’t feel the same way. I realize I tried to make Seattle and Shelby fit because they seemed a natural progression.”
“Oh,” she said, peeling the label on the beer sitting in front of her. She looked too thoughtful, and he wondered what she thought about Shelby. Jealous? More seeds of doubt tossed in her path?
“I’m not with Shelby. We’re not an item. Actually, I called her as soon as these feelings for you started.”
Her eyes met his and he could see the doubt in them. Already their “dating” felt rocky.
“So, your turn. Tell me about going to school at LSU, and then didn’t you end up in Virginia for grad school?” he asked.
“University of Maryland. I eventually interned at the USGS Patuxent Wildlife Research Center while I worked on my PhD in research biology. After visiting the center, I fell in love with the work they were doing there with the whoopers and the rest is history.”
“You’re really passionate about that bird, huh?”
Renny smiled, and the tension melted away. He liked to see the enthusiasm she had for her work. Her whole face changed and he saw that young girl’s enthusiasm, a sort of joy that a guy wouldn’t expect over an awkward-looking bird. “Yeah, they’re interesting birds and the USGS
is doing incredible work in reestablishing many endangered species, including that of the whoopers. I love what I do because I’m helping to restore natural species to my state. It’s like I’m giving back to Louisiana.”
“A doctorate before thirty. Impressive,” he said, as the waitress set a plate containing his sandwich in front of him. Renny had ordered an oyster po’boy and the chili fries went between them.
“So why did you become an attorney?” Renny asked, plucking a fry from beneath the oozing cheese and chili and taking a bite. Her face told him that the decadent side item hadn’t changed in the past ten years. It also reminded him that he liked to see Renny react to all things pleasurable. His groin tightened and he had to remind himself they were “dating.”
He shrugged. “Not sure. Guess I thought I would be good at it.”
“So no passion for being an attorney?”
“A little. Once I committed to the navy, I had to think about my path. I settled on law school—NYU for international law—and that was that.”
“NYU is hard to get into.”
He lifted a brow. “I know what you’re thinking. I never worried about studying, but that doesn’t mean I was a moron.”
“I know.”
“I became obsessed with making the grade in college. Funny how I was in Maryland for four years while you were at LSU. Then you came to Maryland and I went to New York City. We chased each other.”
“You regret it?”
“What? Being sent to military school? The navy? Law school?” He took a bite of spicy chicken and thought about all those things. “A little. I missed you...and home.”
“But it was good for you.” Her words held a question.
“It was good for both of us, I think. My mom said something yesterday that struck me as true. She said I would never have grown where I was comfortable.”
Renny tilted her head and seemed to mull over those words. “Hmm, interesting. Maybe we both experienced the world in a way we never would have had we stayed here. Had we actually chose to be together.”
“I still would have liked the chance to decide for myself.”
“Then you’d not be who you are today.”
He swiped a French fry and popped it into his mouth. “I could have been better.”
“Or in Angola.”
He took another swig of beer to wash down the heat. He’d gotten unaccustomed to Louisiana seasonings living overseas. Cayenne pepper burned like fire on the tongue. “True, though I’d like to think I’d had a damn good reason to keep my nose clean.”
Renny’s eyes flashed something tender. “Maybe, but who knows? We won’t, that’s for sure.”
They fell silent because, like a bad penny, the past was inevitably going to turn up now and then, no matter how much he wanted to move forward.
“So tell me about Della,” she said, digging into her food.
So he did, trying to stress to his libido he and Renny were nothing more than a man and a woman on a date—a first date if they were going to stick with his plan. He already knew how good they were together in bed, but if he wanted to figure out where his future lay, he needed to pay attention to the woman Renny had become. He also had to give them some time to get to know each other. Time to figure out if the feelings they shared were residual. Or something stronger, strong enough to move them forward to... Well, he wasn’t sure exactly where they were going. Just trying to figure out if they wanted to strike out toward that evasive something together.
His libido didn’t like it much.
But them are the rules, libido.
After boxing up leftovers, paying and walking Renny to her car, he momentarily forgot the rules.
If only she hadn’t touched his arm. If only she hadn’t smiled that smile. If only she hadn’t pushed her hair behind that sweet ear as she searched for her car keys.
Darby grabbed her arm and spun her around until his lips covered hers. He’d surprised her because her mouth fell open, an unknowing invitation he’d never pass up. One of his hands found the small of her back while the other cupped the back of her head. She tasted wonderful, like yeasty beer tinged in Louisiana hot sauce. She tasted like his past and, dare he think it, his future. Whatever it was, it was right.
Finally, he broke the kiss.
“That’s not a first-date kiss,” she said, her lips glistening beneath the fluorescent lights of the parking lot.
“So sue me. I broke the rules.” He smiled down at her.
“It still feels dangerous, Darby. I’d like to think I can control how I feel about you, but I’m scared I won’t be able to stop my heart from taking the plunge over the precipice.”
He looked away because he was afraid, too. “But it’s better than not trying. Could we walk away, knowing we didn’t even try to hold on to whatever vibrates in the air between us?”
She sighed and leaned against his chest. “I don’t want to hate you again.”
He wrapped his arms around her and held her. “I don’t want to have regrets, Renny. I’ve already lived with those. If we decide to walk away from each other at least it will be our decision this time.”
“You’re trying to be rational again. I don’t think you can be rational about love.”
“But this isn’t love. Yet.”
She pulled back from him. “It’s getting hard for me to distinguish what I feel anymore.”
Her lips tempted in the lights thrown off the bar and grill, so he did the only thing he could—he kissed her again.
This time her arms curled around his shoulders and she kissed him back with matched fervor. And it felt so good, so damn right, to have her in his arms.
This time she pulled back. “You’re making me crazy.”
“Feeling’s mutual. Everything I thought I wanted has flipped upside down, but I’m trying to roll with it.”
Renny nodded. “So, you’ll call me?”
“I’ll call you.”
He stood in the parking lot until he could no longer see her taillights in the distance. As they faded out of sight, the words his mother had spoken to him days ago echoed in his ears. A prophecy made by a mambo:
A dark stranger comes from a distant place, bringing shadows and light, twisted in fate. The sun will not set on Beau Soleil until old wrongs are set right and the great bird comes home before again taking flight.
Twisted in fate.
Old wrongs set right.
Taking flight.
Things felt twined about him, wrapping fingers of fate about him. He didn’t want to believe in prophecies but something propelled him toward Renny and at the same time rooted him in the land of his birth.
No matter what his future held, there was no doubt he was meant to be here. On the road that led to Bayou Bridge. Even if it took him away again.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“WHERE ARE THOSE MORTALITY reports for the brown pelicans on Grassy Isle?” Carrie asked, dumping an armload of files onto the thing she called a desk. Renny wasn’t sure she could call it a desk since it basically resembled a pile of paper. Her coworker wasn’t exactly organized in her work space, though she usually knew exactly where to find what she needed.
Except those reports.
“I think Lynn took them home, and he’s still on vacation.”
“I may be blonde, but I drew that conclusion when he didn’t show up for the past few days.”
“Ouch,” Renny said, clicking her screen shut on the computer. “You’re a grouchy goose. What’s wrong?”
Carrie sighed and sank into her swivel chair. “Nothing. Everything.”
Renny didn’t know what to make of that. Maybe her friend needed a hug? Or a fresh cup of coffee?
“I had dinner with Ernie last night and he told me he doesn’t want to get married this spring. He wants to save more money so we can buy a house first.”
“Oh,” Renny said, thinking maybe Carrie needed more than a hug or coffee. More like some rope so she could hog-tie Ernie and drag him to the al
tar. The man had backed their wedding up two times before and Carrie’s patience wore thin. Renny didn’t blame her friend. Nothing good about being in limbo.
“Yeah. I’m beginning to think this isn’t about money. That it’s about frigid feet. It scares me because I’ve invested all this time and energy into this man.”
“What about love?”
Carrie wrinkled her nose. “Well, that, too.”
“Marriage is a big undertaking and it’s not a bad idea to be absolutely certain.” Says she who’d been married for eleven years without anyone knowing.
Carrie looked close to tears. “You’re not helping. I have the dress, the church reserved and a bridal tea planned at the Rotunda, but none of that matters if I don’t have a groom. Do you think I should give him an ultimatum?”
Renny bit her lip, knowing she was absolutely not the right person to ask anything regarding men, weddings and ultimatums. “I’m not sure if—”
A knock on the office door interrupted her ineptness at playing relationship counselor. “I’ll get it.”
Renny struggled up from the cushioned depths of her chair, crossed the room and pulled the door open—and found Darby reading the plaque outside the office and holding a picnic basket.
“Darby?”
He ripped his gaze from the plaque and smiled at her. “Hey, thought I might take the old ball and chain to lunch...or rather bring it to her.”
What was he doing here? Dating? Sure. Showing up at work? Um, not so much. She wasn’t ready for the questions—and Carrie breathing down her neck.
Her friend peered over her shoulder. “Ball and chain?”
Renny spun around. “Oh, um, this is—”
Darby leaned around her and offered a hand. “Hey, I’m Darby, and I was teasing her about the ball-and-chain thing. I have an odd sense of humor.”
Carrie took his hand, sweeping him from head to tip of boot with an ambiguous mixture of curiosity and befuddlement. “Hi, I’m Carrie, and she has never mentioned you.”