Dan nodded slowly. "I haven't seen you this concerned about someone in a really long time," he said. "Just be careful. You have a way of letting people get close to you and then when it doesn't work out you don't know what to do with yourself. I don't want the same thing to happen here."
I waved a hand. "It won't."
"I'm not saying don't go for it either though," he added. "If she means something to you then you need to say something."
I groaned. "Life used to be a whole lot less complicated."
Dan grinned. "The joys of being an adult without a clue what you're supposed to be doing."
I laughed and spied my food as it came out of the kitchen. Once it was sat down in front of me, I tried to focus on that and not Joanne. I didn't want to worry about her all day. I knew she was strong. If she said she could handle things, she could and she would.
Chapter 13
Joanne
I stared at the mountain of boxes that I'd stacked up. Some were going to be donated, some thrown away and a small pile of things that were going back home with me. I'd had to hire some help to get the house packed up a little faster and I was glad that I had. Four days of working around the clock meant the house was almost completely empty now.
I glanced around as more boxes were unloaded from the house by the movers. Everything was just about done. All I had to do was clean up really and then I could sell it. I ran a hand over the kitchen counter. As much as we didn't get along it's still sad to see it go. I’d stopped thinking about my mother, the house, all of it. Pretty soon it would be in my rearview and I would be back to my normal life.
My phone buzzed and I slipped it out of my pocket. Peter. He'd texted me twice over the past four days to see if I was okay or if I needed help. I'd responded to the first text that I was fine, but after that I hadn't said anything.
I've been busy.
I knew that was a crap excuse even in my own head. Yeah, I'd been busy but I'd also been avoiding him a little bit. It would be easier if when it was time for me to go we were both used to not being around each other so much. Things would go back to the way they were before and I had to accept that. For me, that meant distance before I even left.
I texted him back to let him know that I was busy again. Peter didn't text back. I almost wished he would just so I could hear something back from him, but I knew I was being crazy again. I quickly tucked my phone into my pants and lifted a box to help out the movers. Once it was tucked away I wiped a hand over my forehead and sighed.
Almost done. I just need to hang in there. I could use a break, but I wanted to keep going so I didn't slow down and stop completely.
My phone buzzed again and I sighed as I wriggled it free and saw Amber was calling. Again. She was really persistent too.
"Joanne where are you? It's been almost two weeks and you're still getting the house together?"
I stared at the phone like she was crazy. Two weeks? I'd spent a little over a week back home. A few days at my place, and a few days at Peter's. What is she talking about? I tried to keep my voice level so I didn't communicate the frustration I felt at being rushed.
"Well yes, it's a big place. I'm almost done with it, but I might need another day or two so I can really finish everything up."
She sighed heavily. "Are you sure you aren't just running around and playing out there?"
I stared at my phone. Does she think I'm one of her kids? I bit my tongue to keep from telling her that once again I was cleaning out my dead mother's home and there was a lot of stuff. It wasn't like I could get it all taken care of right away because that's what she wanted. It didn't work that way.
"It shouldn't take me too much longer. I have a few more things that need to be taken care of and then I'll be signing the papers to sell the house. Once that's all done I'll be driving back."
"Look, Joanne," she sighed into the phone again. "I don't want to have to do this, but if you don't get back here in two days you're going to have to look for another job when you return."
I blinked. "Are you serious?"
"Sorry, but I have things to do and I can't wait around forever for you to decide whether or not you want to come back to work. I was happy to wait as long as I had and you still haven't come back so what can I do?"
I wanted to scream. She's been patient? She acted as if this was the first time we'd had a conversation. Or like she hadn't texted me a million and five times over the course of me being here. I gritted my teeth and simply nodded my head.
"I understand."
"Good," she said sounding more upbeat now that she'd gotten her way. "I'll expect you no later than the weekend then. If you need anything call me and I'll help out."
I'll get right on that. I wanted to say the words so badly they stung my tongue, but I closed my mouth, let her know that I didn't need anything and hung up the phone. As soon as her voice was out of my ear I pinched the bridge of my nose and hung my head low.
I knew I couldn't have both my friendship and my fun with Peter along with my career, but it was another smack of reality that it was stupid to even think about it in the first place. He and I were from different worlds now. They obviously weren't meant to mix.
"I think that's everything major. Did you need anything else done?" One of the movers asked.
I shook my head. "No, that's it for now. I can take these smaller boxes and bags and drop them off at the donation center myself."
"Sounds good."
I watched them leave before I picked up the last box that I was going to donate and slipped it inside of my car. I stared at it for a minute. It was getting closer and closer to when I needed to leave and it made me anxious. I'd started to get used to my small town. The quiet evenings, the friendly smiles from strangers, the simple life. I was going to miss it.
Once I'd dropped off the boxes for goodwill I decided to go and grab some things for lunch. My stomach growled and I actually really wished I had something Peter had made. His food was amazing. As I walked through the store I heard my name and glanced around.
"Joanne! I thought that was you."
I stopped and smiled when I finally saw who was calling me. Kelly looked exactly like she did in high school. Still manicured and perfect with curly blonde hair and eyes so bright and blue they looked like the ocean. Her dress was a pretty pastel pink and she'd worn heels even though it was still lightly snowing. I always thought she was kind of perfect.
"Kelly," I smiled. "It's so good to see you. How are you?"
She hugged me. "I'm doing great! I've been working at this little law firm in the city. It's a bit of a commute, but I love it there. What have you been up to?"
"Nannying in Vegas," I told her. "It's a good job."
"I'm so glad to hear it. I kind of figured you'd be good with kids. You always had a lot of patience with everyone even if they drove you crazy. Especially Peter. Oh, have you run into him yet?"
I nodded. "I saw him around. He's doing well around here it seems."
"Oh yeah, he's great," she said happily. "We dated for a little while a few months ago. He's grown up a lot."
I blinked. "You two dated? How long?"
"Like eight months or something?" She said as she tapped her chin.
"Wow, what happened? Why aren't you guys still together?" I asked almost not wanting to know.
"Peter's… Peter. He's not exactly looking for a commitment and I'm looking for a husband you know? I don't want to date forever. Besides, he lives and works here and I'm in the city a ton. It was just too much. We're still good friends though. I'm surprised you two haven't gone out yet."
"Why would we go out?"
"You know, he always had a crush on you," she laughed. "He used to follow you around like a little guard dog ready to kick anyone's butt who bothered you."
I smiled at that memory. I'd never realized he had a crush on me, maybe I was just blind to it… but she was right about him following me around everywhere. I always knew he looked out for me, but he hid a
lot of it too. That was just how he was.
Kelly and I chatted for a while longer, but the more she spoke, the more I knew that I could never be the one for Peter. If he wouldn't commit to her and she was so perfect, upbeat and had herself together, why would he go for me?
I'd always been more of a tomboy than a girly girl. I swore too much, drank too much beer and laughed too loudly. I ate like food was going to dissolve off of my plate and I never knew when to stop talking. Kelly was the complete opposite. I could see why he would date her, even if it made me a little jealous.
I could never compete with her.
That thought hit me so hard it sparked my flight response. I had to get out of there. I had to get out of town and go back home to Vegas. At least there I never had these feelings that confused and concerned me. Coming back had only stirred up my emotions until I didn't know what was going on.
"I'm sorry, Kelly, but I really do need to get going," I said as I quickly gripped my cart and prepared to take off. "It was nice to catch up with you."
"Aw, really? Well, it was nice to catch up with you too. Maybe we could go and grab a drink before you leave or something? It's been years and I'd love to talk more."
She looked so hopeful. The way her eyes lit up when she looked at me made me feel like she really cared. Did she make Peter feel like that? I could see the two of them together. She was small enough and sweet enough that they'd make a cute couple. My stomach turned and I felt the need to bolt again.
"Um yeah sure, maybe we could catch up before I have to leave."
"Give me your number," she smiled.
We exchanged numbers and I high-tailed it out of the store before I even got the chance to buy what I'd come in for. I hit myself in the head and headed off to a fast food place instead. I just couldn't think straight anymore. It was time for me to get out of there before I really lost my mind.
My phone vibrated when I sat in the drive-thru and I looked down to see that it was from Peter. He wanted to know if I was okay.
Yeah, I'm great. Just losing it.
I didn't know what to tell him. I didn't want him to know that I was jealous over something so stupid, something that was never going to happen in the first place.
I texted him back and told him I was fine. That was it. We didn't need to chat anymore. I was too busy getting everything together and he needed to get used to not having me around again. I clenched the steering wheel a little harder.
Am I making the right decision?
Chapter 14
Peter
I stared at the text message and frowned. I'm fine. Two words. That was all she'd sent. Over the past few days, it was like she barely wanted to say anything to me. I was starting to wonder if I'd pissed her off or something.
"I don't remember pissing her off," I muttered to myself.
I racked my brain trying to figure out what I could have said that would get on her nerves. The more I thought about it, the more irritated I got.
If she has a problem why won't she just tell me what it is?
It was driving me crazier than I thought it would. A long tongue swept over my cheek and I groaned.
"Sorry, sorry. I'm supposed to be feeding you guys."
I got back to work taking care of my chores, but my mind stayed on Joanne. It felt like she was slipping away again and there was nothing I could do about it. I at least wanted to stay friends with her. It had been great reconnecting and getting to know each other all over again. That's what I wanted more than anything even if she was leaving.
Okay, stop thinking about it. I had to stop letting her cloud my mind every five minutes. She didn't want to deal with me and I had stuff to do.
It bothered me though. As much as I wanted to pretend that it didn't, it did. Every woman I'd ever dealt with including Joanne had disappeared and left me on my own. It was a pattern that I was used to seeing, but that didn't make it okay.
I thought about what Dan said. Maybe I needed to go over and say something to her at least. I had given her more than enough space to deal with her problems and I didn't want her to leave and I didn't get a chance to say something to her. I figured she had another week to go, but I wanted to do it now.
Once all the chores were taken care of I decided to just drive in and see her. She would probably be happy to have some company. Maybe she's just distant because she's having a bad week. Or she really is overly busy.
I tapped the steering wheel as I drove. The closer I got the more I forgot about the problems and realized I was just happy that I would get to see her. That smile she wore when she looked at me made me want to hug her until she popped. I grinned at the thought of her telling me to get off while I hugged her until she laughed.
When I pulled up, I froze. The outside of her house was busy. A moving truck sat in the driveway and she walked outside to point around directing them. Her car had boxes and bags packed into the backseat and as I watched she stuffed one last bag into her trunk and slammed it closed. I climbed out of my truck.
"Jo, what are you doing?" I asked.
She looked startled for a minute before her face went back to being almost blank. She opened the back seat and pushed some things over. Once she'd made space, she asked one of the movers to stick a box back there. They worked together to get it to fit before she slammed the door and wiped a hand across her forehead.
"Hey," she said quietly. "Just packing everything up."
"I can see that. I didn't think you'd have everything together so quickly though."
Joanne shrugged. "I need to get a move on. Everything's just about done."
"I came to see if you needed any help."
She shook her head. "Nope, like I said I'm almost done now. There are a few more boxes and a little cleaning, but then I'm going to be going."
I stared at her. "You're going? You mean you're leaving already?"
"Yeah," she said slowly. "That was the plan, remember? I clean this place up, get it up for sale and then go back home. That was always the plan."
The way she said it made me think she was trying to convince herself that, not me. I frowned as she wouldn't look at me, her eyes on the ground. What the hell is going on? I stepped forward and she moved back.
"Joanne, what the hell?" I muttered. "I knew you were going back, but why didn't you tell me it was going to be so soon? Why didn't you tell me anything? Lately, all I get is a one or two-word response from you and that's it. What's going on?"
"Nothing," she said as she sighed. "Like I said I was busy."
"I get that you were busy. I get that. The problem is that I offered to come help, offered to take you out to get something to eat, just checked on you and you dismissed all of it. Now you're taking off without a word?"
She stared up at me. "What does it matter? We both have our own lives. It's not that big of a deal."
She turned and started walking away, but I wasn't about to let her just say something so stupid and keep going. Last time I'd watched her walk away and never said a word. Not this time. The anger that built up in my chest felt like it was choking me, but I refused to back down. How could she just shut me out like it was no big deal?
"It is a big deal," I said as I followed her into the house. "You can't just hop back into someone's life and then take off again when it suits you. That's bullshit, Jo and you know it. Why the hell would you not tell me anything? I think I at least deserve a good-bye or something!"
Joanne scoffed. "Excuse me? I don't owe you anything."
"Not even a goodbye?" I asked. "Not even five minutes out of your busy day to say that you're going? I mean, I'm not asking much here."
She crossed her arms over her chest. "Look, it was just going to get emotional and messy if I did that. Besides, we haven't seen each other in years and you've been doing just fine. You didn't need me then and you don't need me now. Just let me go."
I couldn't believe what she was saying.
It was one thing to just disappear before, but what about ev
erything that happened? The nights we held each other, the mornings that we woke up in each other's arms? How could she act like all of it was nothing?
"I thought what we had was good," I said.
"It was. I mean, it was fun, but we both agreed it was just a fling right. Nothing more."
"Yeah," I scoffed. "A fling. Is that why you're avoiding me like the plague and disappearing without even giving me a fucking text message?"
"Don't be like that," she muttered. "You know I wasn't trying to hurt you or anything. My boss just needs me back now and she won't wait."
"You still could have said something to me," I snapped. "That's the point. You're making up a million excuses when you have your phone right in your hand. How long would it have taken to just text me?"
Joanne sighed. I wished I could get her to open up and say what was going on in that head of hers, but it was clear that she didn't want to do that. She wanted to shut down and shut me out. It made me want to both walk away and fight more. On the one hand, I was pissed. On the other hand, I wanted to know why she was doing it. I wanted to hear her say it.
"I really don't have time to do this," she said after a minute. "I need to go and finish up the paperwork to sell this place, and then I have to get on the road."
"Wait, you're leaving tonight? Like right now?" I asked.
She nodded. "Well yeah. I told you that I have to get back. My boss wants me back in Vegas in two days and I'll need to haul ass to get there. Sorry, I can't stay longer, but it is what it is, Peter."
I grabbed her arm as she tried to walk away. She glanced up at me and for the first time I could see how guarded she was, but there were cracks under the surface. She looked upset. I brought her closer to me and she let herself be pulled until she was against me.
"Jo Jo, please. What's going on?" I asked. "I know there's something so don't just say nothing here. Tell me what's going through your head so I can talk to you about it. What's the harm in staying one more night? Let's just talk about this and see what's going on."
She reached up and touched my hand as it cradled her cheek. I could see that she was wavering, but finally, she shook her head and I knew that she'd made up her mind. She removed my hand from her cheek.
B9 Hometown Lover Page 8