Teabags & Tears

by Woods, Karen

Tracy woke up in the hospital the following morning and thanked the doctors for saving her life. She was now brought her daughter, as she held her in her arms she cried. The little girl was beautiful and looked defenceless. Tracy waited until the doctors had left her bedside and whispered to her infant. “It’s just me and you now, I hope me and Kevin can work this out but I doubt it.” Smelling her baby’s skin she cried.

  Her tears were now visible on the baby’s face. The days ahead were going to be hard for her but Tracy knew somehow, someway she’d get through it. She looked at the clock on the wall and knew anytime now her parents would be there to see her. Cuddling her baby she watched the minutes pass as she waited for them.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Sandra handed the visiting order to the woman behind the reception desk. She glanced over the yellow piece of paper and asked if there were two people going in to see Tina. Sandra confirmed both hers and James addresses and then sat down.

  Months had passed now and Sandra looked well. She’d struggled to cope for many weeks when she first got out of prison but every day that passed, she seemed to be getting back on her feet. James was her rock and understood when she needed to be alone.

  Sandra looked around the room and gazed at all the visitors. The women were dressed to the nines and some of them wore skirts that didn’t leave much to the imagination. The men in the room looked like they were at their wit’s end. They shouted at the children with them constantly and one man could be seen smacking his child’s arse for not listening.

  The few toys in the centre looked like they’d been there for years. They were battered and bruised. A man sat near them looked like he was going to sleep. He stank of stale beer and cigarettes. The lady now started shouting names out and Tina’s name was called.

  The visitors now went into another room that wasn’t far from where they sat. Each of them was asked to show their ID. Once they had confirmed who they were they were asked to take their shoes off. James thought they were having a laugh and looked at Sandra. “Are they being serious or what?” Sandra confirmed he had to take his shoes off. He now told her that when he’d come to visit her in the past, things weren’t as strict as they were now. He was now led to a box where he had to stand while he was searched. The prison officer told him to hold his hands out to the side of him as he got frisked.

  James was now stood with his mouth open as the guard looked inside it. Sandra followed the same procedure. They were both asked to stand on a yellow line now that was painted across the floor on a long corridor. Altogether, five visitors stood on a single line. The guard now told them that they were to look in front of them and not to touch the dog, James looked mortified. The Springer spaniel, who the officer called Jay-Jay, now sniffed each visitor in turn, once he’d finished they were told they could go upstairs to the landing where the visits would be held.

  About twenty people were sat in the room and all the chairs were taken. You could see people handing in personal property like knickers and socks. James couldn’t take it all in and kept firing questions at Sandra. “It wasn’t like this when I was coming to see you, yeah, I got searched but not like that.” Sandra told him that when he was visiting her she was on remand and now Tina had been sentenced everything was a lot stricter. He gasped “Fucking joke it is. They treat us like convicts too.”

  Sandra told him to stop moaning and hugged his arm. “I’ve missed her so much you know, I can’t wait to see Tina.” James smiled and kissed the top of her head. Tina’s name was now called.

  Walking into the visitor’s room sent shivers down Sandra’s spine. It was all coming back to her and she felt sick inside. She could now see an arm waving in the air at the bottom of the room. Her pace quickened, grabbing Tina, she squeezed the living daylights out of her. Sandra wiped the tears from her eyes before she sat down. James now asked what Tina wanted to eat and drink as he could see the queue getting bigger and didn’t want to spend all his time stood in it waiting for food. Tina looked at him and smiled. “I’m fucking starving today; just get me a butty a drink and some chocolate. I need chocolate, I’m hormonal.”

  “Too much information Tina,” James laughed “Did I really need to know that?”

  She giggled and grabbed Sandra’s hands from over the table. “Orr love I’ve missed you so, so much”

  “Me too Tina,” Sandra replied, “I’ve been having it hard you know, at one point I thought I was fucking losing it”

  Sandra stroked Tina’s hair, she giggled and hid her face for a minute, “Let me tell you something that will make you piss laughing.”

  “Come on then, I could do with a laugh.” Sandra now told her about Tracy having a baby to Reggae Ronnie, Tina was holding her stomach as she exploded with laughter. “It’s made my fucking day that. I can’t believe it!” Sandra told her all the rest of the gossip and told her there were talk of Maxine and Zac getting married. Tina looked amazed. “Fucking hell, it’s all happening isn’t it?” Sandra agreed.

  Tina now looked for James in the queue and knew it was time for her to tell her best friend her bit of news before he returned. “I’ve been doing a bit of rug munching Sandra.” Tina sat back now and covered her face with embarrassment.

  “What you’ve become a lesbian?” Sandra gasped.

  “No” she screamed. “Well maybe a part-time one while I’m in here.”

  Sandra dragged her hands away from her face and chuckled. “You’re so funny, what are you like? I mean how can you be a part-time lesbian?” Tina told her to lower her voice as people nearby were looking over at them both.

  “I mean when I get out, I’m back to cock,” Tina sniggered, “it’s like they say, when in Rome…”

  Sandra sat back in disbelief. “Tina you make me laugh so much, I say whatever makes you happy, go for it.”

  Tina started to blush. “Don’t be telling Maxine, you know what she’s like she’ll tell everyone.” Sandra assured her that her secret was safe.

  James now returned, as he placed the drinks on the table he looked at them both and could see them giggling. “What so funny?” he now started checking his clothes, he thought they were laughing at him.

  “Nothing love, it’s just Tina telling me some of the stories from in here. She’s off her fucking head you know.”

  James sat down and stuck his cheek over to Tina for a kiss. She gripped his face and pressed hard with her lips. “Oh you smell so fucking hot, my fanny’s twitching.”

  Sandra slapped her arm. “Ay you horny bitch, hands off he’s mine.”

  “I’m joking you lunatic, my names not Tracy.” They all giggled and spoke about all the goings on, in life behind the walls of the prison.

  The two hours passed quickly and before they knew it their time with Tina was over. Sandra kept kissing her and touching her face. She felt guilty that she wasn’t in there with her. Tina now looked at James with a serious face. “You look after my friend you, she’s special you know.”

  James agreed. “You don’t have to worry about me Tina, I would never hurt her, she means too much to me.”

  “That’s good then” Tina said with a chuckle in her voice. Tina felt sadness as she watched her visitors leave. Before Sandra left she turned back and blew Tina a kiss. Tina pretended to catch it and put it in her pocket. The visit was over; the prisoners were all took back to their cells now. Time was flying for her in the prison and Tina knew it wouldn’t be long before she too would be a free woman.

  As James pulled away from the prison car park, Sandra looked deflated and he could tell she needed cheering up. Stroking her neck with one hand he spoke, “Do you fancy a night of porn tonight? We can get some food and just lock ourselves in the bedroom.” Sandra stared at him; she found him sexy and wanted to sit on his face there and then. Pulling herself up from her depression she reached over to stroke his manhood. He looked happy as he tried to concentrate on his driving.

  Sandra now unzipped his jeans as he held his belly in so she could get to his trouser snake.
He now lifted his arse up from his seat as she helped him pull his jeans down slightly. Sandra now leant over and rested her head on his lap. Sticking her tongue out she teased the end of his penis with her tongue. Sandra could feel his excitement and started swallowing his member like a hungry animal. James was struggling to keep his eyes open as her mouth slid up and down his shaft. Resting one hand on her head he tried to drive with the other. The car kept going faster and then slowing down and she could feel her head being jerked about. James was now ready to come. She placed her hands round his throbbing penis and sucked on the tip of it. His moans could now be heard and you could hear a car honking its horn from behind them. James nearly lost control as he was shooting his load. He just managed to gain the control back before he crashed.

  Sandra still stroked his love shaft and lifted her head up from his lap. “You filthy animal” he laughed.

  Sandra wiped her mouth and felt naughty, “Ay it’s my turn when we get home, it’s a boomerang wank, I want one back.” The two of them now laughed their heads off. They got on so well and each of them bounced off each other. Sandra now knew she held deep feelings for James. She didn’t tell him though, she was scared of getting hurt. She could tell he felt the same and he told her all the time that she was a drug and he was addicted to her.

  Kevin had rung Sandra’s phone a few times over the last couple of months. He never spoke but she knew it was him, she had a gut feeling. Her hate for him was still there and if she never set eyes on him again, it wouldn’t have mattered. She was well and truly over him. She’d also been to her mother’s house and seen Tracy and the baby. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for her sister and she sometimes let her guard down and forgot what she’d done in the past.

  Tracy was like a new woman and she looked after Mia the best she could. Anita had taken a step back and made her realise how much hard work children really were. Anita and Graham looked like a new couple. Graham was a happy man now and didn’t sit in the shadow of his wife anymore. They were both equal in their relationship.

  Anita had arranged a family meal for the family one Sunday afternoon. All her grand children were there too. Sandra’s mobile phone kept ringing all the time and you could see it was doing her head in. Her dad was onto it and asked who was calling her. With distress in her voice she told him, “I think it’s that nobhead Kevin. He’s been at it for months. He just rings and never speaks the fucking weirdo.”

  Graham pulled his face. He grabbed her phone and examined it. “Why is he still mithering you? He had his chance and fucked it up; he should just get on with it.”

  Sandra agreed. “I know dad. If he would speak I would tell him straight, but he never does the wanker.”

  Tracy carried on talking to the baby. Just the mention of Kevin’s name brought back all the lies and betrayal she’d given to her sister in the past. Sandra gazed over at her and it was obvious she knew Tracy was listening to her conversation. Anita now shouted her family to the dining table. She’d done them proud and everything looked perfect.

  Throughout the dinner Sandra’s phone kept ringing. Her sons looked at each other as did Anita and Graham; this was going beyond a joke. Anita now piped up.

  ”Why don’t you go to the police and get him done for harassment?” Sandra carried on eating her dinner and spoke with a mouthful of food. “I just want him to stop, it’s over, I want to get on with my life. Is that too much to ask?” Tracy now left the table as her baby could be heard crying in the other room. She told them she was going to take her out for a walk as she’d been cranky all afternoon. Anita didn’t seem to mind and she left the dining table.

  Anita served ice-cream for dessert and watched as her family devoured it. The sound of Sandra’s ring tone started again. “For fucks sake” she moaned. Grabbing the phone she went into the back garden she could now be heard shouting “Hello” down the phone. The phone call was different this time and Sandra could now be heard talking to someone. Tracy was at the side of her putting the baby in the pram. “Right where?” she moaned. Sandra stood for a few seconds and said “Okay” to the caller before she pressed the button to end the call. Smiling at Tracy she went back inside the house.

  “Told you it was him didn’t I? He wants to talk to me and promises that once he has had his say then he won’t bother me anymore.”

  Anita looked mortified. “I hope you told him where to go, you owe him fuck all.” Sandra glanced at the pine kitchen clock on the wall and sat back down at the table. She pushed her ice- cream away, she’d lost her appetite.

  John looked flustered, “Well it’s up to you mam, innit. Just go and speak to him and see what he wants.”

  Paul looked enraged. “Nah. Like my nana said. It’s over. He just has to deal with it.” The sound of Tracy opening the back gate could be heard. You could see her pushing the pram out of the garden.

  Sandra sat smoking like a chimney, her eyes focused on the clock as she stood up. “Right here goes, I need to get this over with don’t I?” Grabbing her black leather bag from the side of the chair she kissed her parents goodbye. John now stood with her and told her he was going now anyway and he would walk with her. Paul just nodded his head at his granddad as he finished his second bowl of ice- cream.

  Sandra kissed her parents goodbye. Her dad looked at her with a serious face. “Be careful with him love, you know what he’s like.” She nodded. “Don’t worry dad, I’ll be okay.”

  John and Sandra left the house at the same time. John was extremely quiet as they walked along Rochdale road. As he got to where the estate was he kissed his mother on the cheek and said goodbye. “Mam ring me if you need me.” She nodded. He could now be seen jogging off in a different direction. Kevin had asked to meet Sandra at a place they used to meet when they were younger. They’d shared many an hour sat on the top of the flats in Kingsbridge Court in Harpurhey. She smiled as she remembered the first time they’d had sex there. Kevin was probably trying to rekindle the love they once shared and by setting the scene at the top of the flats he must have thought that Sandra would have been an easy target.

  The rain started and she fastened her coat up. The traffic was busy as she crossed Rochdale Road. Everybody just seemed in a rush. Her eyes now focused on the block of flats. She looked closer to see if she could see Kevin at the top of it. There was no sign of him, pushing the door open to the flats entrance, she remembered when she was a young girl and she couldn’t wait to get to the top to meet Kevin. Her legs felt weak as she pushed the button for the lift. Once the lift had come she pressed the button to the top floor. Turning to the mirror inside the lift she straightened her hair, and used her finger to wipe the mascara that had smudged under her eyelids. The doors opened and she looked scared as she made her way to the roof top. It felt eerie.

  Looking about she couldn’t see him anywhere. She walked slowly around the rooftop. You could hear her heels clicking. Glancing over the edge she felt sick and quickly moved her body back to safety. A loud coughing noise could now be heard behind her. As her body shook with fear she turned around slowly. There he was stood right in front of her. She quickly weighed him up and down it was obvious he was drunk. She waved her hand in front of her face and spoke to him. “Are you pissed?” She waited for a reply but he remained silent. “You are aren’t you? Because I can smell it from over here.” He gave her a smile. Sandra sighed, he looked rough. His face was covered in stubble from a week of not shaving. His hair was stuck up all over the place and his clothes looked dirty. My, how things had changed.

  Kevin now came to the side of her. She was cautious, as he approached and spoke frantically. “Right I haven’t got long, what do you want?” Kevin now led her to their old hideout. As she looked down on the floor she could see he’d placed a blanket across the concrete floor. “What’s the blanket for? She asked in agitated voice”

  He smiled. “I just thought it would be more comfortable for us to sit on it while we chatted, God shoot me for caring” he moaned as he sulked.
/>
  Kevin sat down first and patted the spot next to him. “Come on Sandra, park your arse then.”

  “I’m not staying long so say what you have to and get it over with,” she sighed. Kevin tried to grab her hand but she pulled away from him.

  “No, don’t even think you can touch me.” His head dropped, he looked sad. Sandra’s phone started ringing and she could see her dad’s name flashing in the screen. She ignored it and placed it back inside her pocket.

  “Who’s that? Is it lover boy?”

  Sandra gritted her teeth, “It’s got fuck all to do with you anymore; you lost that right to ask me questions when you fucked my sister, alright knob-head.” Her head was bobbing about now and he knew she was right. Her anger was making her fidget and he placed his arm on her shoulder telling her to relax. She shouted at him again and this time she looked furious.

  “Don’t fucking touch me, you make my skin crawl you pathetic bastard. Hurry up and say what you have to say then I’m off.”

  Kevin looked angry, “Fucking hell chill ya beans will you? Since when did you become so aggressive?”

  “Since you had me put in prison and slept with my sister. That’s what it does to you, you know?” He licked his bottom lip and looked up at the sky. The rain had stopped now and some bright clouds were trying to break through.

  “It’s always been you Sandra. I made the biggest mistake of my life sleeping with your slag of a sister. If I could turn back time, I would. You’re everything I want. I can’t live without you.”

  Sandra chuckled and chewed on her thumbnail. “You should have thought about that before you slept with her shouldn’t you? What is it? Is it because you didn’t father her child? It serves you right for all you’ve done to me.”

  Kevin wrapped his arms around her waist and cried. “Please Sandra, I’m nothing without you. I’ll change, I’ll never raise a hand to you again. I swear on my kid’s lives,” Sandra looked sad. The man she saw before her eyes was just a shell of his former self. He now tried to make a joke as he lifted his head up from her waist. “You glued my cock Sandra. Fucking hell you nearly killed me, we’ve both done bad things but I’m willing to forgive you and start again.” A loud noise now made them look over to the exit. They couldn’t see properly and it sounded like a door opening. Kevin jumped up to investigate. Running over to the exit she watched him go out of her sight. He was only gone a few seconds then returned. “It must have been the wind banging it.” He made his way back and sat by her side. “Can you give me one last chance babes? Things will be so different, I swear to you.”