by Kyra Dune
“What is it?” I asked. “What’s your problem with Derek being here?”
Alastair and Mi Mi exchanged a look I’m sure you would have recognized. It was the kind of look which passes between two adults when they don’t think the kid in the room can handle the truth. Anything which follows after a look like that is bound to be a lie.
“It’s a surprise, that’s all.” Mi Mi smiled. “We haven’t seen him in such a long time.”
Whenever my parents would give each other that look, I would do what most kids do and go along with whatever they said like I didn’t know any better. But these were not my parents. “No,” I said, trying my hardest to sound like a mature adult and not a petulant sixteen year old. “Don’t lie to me. I want the truth.”
Alastair sighed. “Zack has already told her about Derek being a renegade. Mike and Lisa too.”
“Oh. Oh dear.” Mi Mi scrunched the tablecloth between her fingers. “What do we do?”
“The first thing you can do,” I said, “is take me to the hospital to see Derek.”
“No.” Alastair spoke firmly, as if he were used to his word being unquestioned law.
I stood. “What do you mean, no? I want to see my brother and I want to see him now.”
“Abigail, please, calm down.” Alastair held up both hands in what I suppose was meant to be a placating gesture. “You haven’t grown up a member of our society and you don’t realize how dangerous Derek is. It’s against our laws for a dragon to go renegade. Derek broke that law and there are serious repercussions.”
“How serious?” Panic was clawing its way through my chest. I know it was crazy for me to have gotten so attached to him so quickly, but I felt the way I felt whether it made sense or not. It wasn’t only that he was my brother, or half-brother I guess, he had risked his life trying to protect me from Megara. He didn’t know me any better than I knew him, but if our blood connection meant so much to him then it could mean no less to me.
There went that look again. It made me want to scream and curse and throw things, feelings I didn’t normally have. But then nothing about this whole thing was even remotely normal.
I gripped the back of my chair. “What’s going to happen to him?”
Alastair gazed at me thoughtfully. “I should call Liza’s clan. He’s their blood, they’re the ones who are responsible for him.”
“And what will they do to him?” I thought I knew the answer. They would lock him up and I couldn’t stand the idea, but if he’d broken a law, even one I didn’t understand, then maybe he had to be locked up. It was the worst thing I could imagine them doing to him. I know better now.
Neither Alastair nor Mi Mi said a word, and Mi Mi wouldn’t even look at me. It should have been a warning signal, but I was too upset to pick up on it. “Please, don’t send him away. Can’t you lock him up here?” At least if he was at the compound I figured I could see him eventually.
“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Alastair said. “It’s best if he leaves.”
“Then I’m going with him.” I heard Mi Mi gasp, but I kept my gaze focused on Alastair. He was the one who made the decisions around here, it was clear, and I wasn’t going to back down. I was not normally a confrontational person, or the kind who chaffed against authority for no reason, but when something mattered to me then I could dig in my heels so deep it was almost impossible to move me.
“You can’t do that.” Twin lines had appeared between Alastair’s eyes.
“Why not?” I asked. “They’re my clan too. I belong there as much as I do here.”
“I can’t understand this,” Alastair said. “You barely know this boy, why are you so insistent on being near him?”
“He’s my brother.” Those words were really too simple, but I couldn’t explain the way I felt. Like I couldn’t explain the look in Derek’s eyes when he told me he couldn’t stand to lose me again, right before he went after Megara.
Alastair pursed his lips. “All right, he can stay. But he will be locked up and you will not see him. Is that clear?”
I nodded. I wasn’t going to stand not seeing him for too long, but I figured I could work on it later. One fight at a time. “Will you go to the hospital and check on him for me? Like, right now?”
“I suppose I can do that. Mi Mi, why don’t you show Abigail to her room.”
“Yes, all right.” She tried for a smile as she stood and was only about halfway successful. “Come along, dear.”
We climbed the staircase to the second floor. “I thought I would put you in Mike’s old room, if it’s all right.”
Before I could decide how to reply, we were already at the room. In those moments between when she spoke and she opened the door, I was expecting to be bombarded by mementos of my birth father’s childhood and teenage years. It was kind of a scary thought, but appealing as well. Here, in the room where he grew up, I could really get to know who he was all on my own.
But what waited on the other side was not the shrine to my father’s youth my mind had conjured. Disappointment hit hard as I looked around the mostly empty room. A bed neatly made with blue sheets and a dresser against the wall was all the room contained. No hint of personality. No clue as to who had once occupied it. Not even a single picture.
I don’t know why I thought the room would have been perfectly preserved in memory of my father. It wasn’t like he was a teenager when he died. “It’s a nice room.”
Mi Mi looked fondly around the small space. “Michael grew up in this room. From the day he first came home from the hospital it was his.” Her voice wavered. “Eighteen years of memories. And then Mike went off to college.” She sighed. “They grow up so fast.”
I shoved my hands into my pockets. “Did my parents meet at college?”
“Oh, no,” Mi Mi said. “They were both already graduated by then. They didn’t even go to the same school.”
So much for my little fantasy. “How did they meet?”
Mi Mi glanced at the door, almost as if she were afraid someone might be standing there even though we had the house to ourselves. “It’s not an interesting story.” She smiled. “You know what we should do? Tomorrow, we should go into the city and buy you some clothes and things. You know, for school. Anything you like.”
“School?” Somehow, going to school was not what I had imagined I would be doing here. “What about my training? Don’t I need to learn to control my powers?”
“Yes, of course you do. But a girl your age must go to school. We don’t want to neglect your education.” She patted my arm. “I’m sure when Zack told you about dragons and powers and all, all sorts of silly things must have gone through your mind. But I assure you, life here is not so different from everywhere else. You’ll go to school and have your regular studies, like you’ve always had. Training is on the side.”
“Oh.”
“So what do you say?” This time she smiled in earnest. “Tomorrow, you and me? A girl’s day out? It’ll be such fun.”
She was so eager, I couldn’t help but nod my head yes. I really did need some clean clothes. And a toothbrush. I’d had neither since I left the Oasis intending to go back home to my parents. Of course, I never made it, thanks to Derek.
But school. The thought made me feel kind of sick to my stomach. I grew up in a small town, spent my whole life there, pretty much going to school with the same people every year. Sure, sometimes someone would move away, or somebody new would show up, but this was different. Because before, no matter what, I always had Brandy. Here, I would have no one. Except...
“Zack.” I said his name out loud without meaning to and felt heat rush to my face at the look Mi Mi was giving me. “I, uh, I meant... Well, is he in my grade?” I was pretty sure Zack was a little older than I was, but I was hoping he was at least still in school. Then I could have one person there I knew.
Mi Mi gave me a sympathetic smile. “It’s scary to start a new school when you don’t know anybody, isn’t it? Sorry s
weetie, Zack graduated two years ago. But I’m sure you’ll make new friends fast.” She was turning away as she said this, but I swore I saw her smile slip. “I’ll let you settle in. Bathroom is across the hall. Do you like spaghetti?”
“Uh, yeah, sure.”
“Good. I’ll call you when supper is ready.” Then she left me.
I stood all alone in my new room and found my thoughts turning to my parents. I hadn’t given them a lot of thought over the last few days, what with everything that was going on. I wondered what they were doing right then. Planning my funeral? The idea twisted me up inside. Here I was worrying about school and some boy while everyone I loved was mourning my death. Believe me, I know how bad that sounds. You can’t possibly be thinking any worse of me than I was thinking of myself.
I sat on the edge of the bed and pressed my hands to my face. Barely a year had passed since my aunt and uncle were killed in a convenience store robbery and I could still remember the pain I’d felt. I could still remember the sad faces of my family around me. And now they were going through it all over again. Because of me.
I told myself it had to be this way. I was protecting them from Megara. Keeping them safe. And I couldn’t do it without staying dead. Alice had said faking my death was the best thing to do and she had no reason to lie. Megara had murdered my birth parents trying to kill me, and she wouldn’t hesitate doing the same to my loved ones. Staying away was the right thing to do, I was sure. But knowing it didn’t make me feel any better. It didn’t kill the pain inside. Nothing could.
CHAPTER TWO
Los Angeles is a big city. Really big. It’s not like I’ve never been to a big city before. I might have grown up in a small town, but I didn’t live under a rock. I’d been shopping with Brandy in Phoenix lots of times, and once her mom even let me tag along to a fashion show in New York. Mrs. LeVine had retired from the modeling business, but she was grooming Brandy’s little sister to follow in her footsteps so they still kept up with the fashion scene.
Still, this was my first time in Los Angeles and it was definitely different. Have you ever noticed how a city can have its own kind of flavor? Phoenix, Los Angeles, New York, they’re all large cities in the same country, but they couldn’t be less like each other.
Mi Mi took me to The Grove, this massive and completely gorgeous mall which was almost like a city all by itself. It was packed with people and even though it was kind of weird being there with her, I couldn’t help but catch on to the vibe of the place.
It helped take my mind off my family, including Derek. Alastair had told me at supper the night before he’d gotten some kind of infection in his arm which caused a fever, but the doctors had taken care of it and it looked like he would be fine. I still hadn’t seen him, but I figured I would take a few days to settle in before I pressed the issue.
Getting to shop at all the high end stores helped too. My parents were by no means poor, but if I had ever asked for a pair of hundred dollar jeans my mother would have had a heart attack. Maybe it was wrong of me to let Mi Mi spend so much. She was trying to buy my affection and I knew it, but I guess I kind of felt like somebody owed me for everything I had given up. So I got myself this fabulous new wardrobe, complete with a dozen pairs of shoes, tons of jewelry, and way more makeup than I would ever wear. Plus all kinds of stuff for decorating my room and the necessities for home and school.
For lunch, we stopped at Umami Burger, where I had the best hamburger I have ever eaten. Later, we hit the movies, then had ice cream at Haagen-Dazs, shopped some more, and finished the day off with dinner at La Piazza.
It was, in a word, awesome. The only thing which could have possibly made it any better was if Brandy could have been there. By the time Mi Mi and I got back to the compound, it was after eleven. I was wiped out, but feeling pretty good.
Mi Mi and I had taken one of the SUVs instead of her and Alastair’s personal car, and it was packed to the brim with stuff. Alastair helped us unload and even though he did a lot of frowning, he didn’t say anything about the amount of money we’d spent.
My room was piled with boxes and bags, but I didn’t bother putting anything away. I pulled off my shoes and crashed into bed fully clothed. The next morning, I woke to the heavenly scents of french toast cooking.
I dug out some bathroom stuff and a set of clothes and took a quick shower before going downstairs. Conversation at the breakfast table was all me talking about our trip to the city. Alastair didn’t act like he was paying much attention, but Mi Mi smiled the whole time. Part of it was, I was still buzzing from the trip, but mostly I was talking to keep all the bad thoughts away for awhile longer. I was riding a high which was bound to end in a major crash.
It happened while I was transforming my new room into a reflection of me. And it was all because of a stupid bracelet. A bracelet I must have picked up myself, and yet at the time it had no affect on me at all. I didn’t even recognize it, unless in some back of the mind kind of way. But there, all alone in my room, my brain made the connection as soon as I saw it.
The bracelet was the exact replica of one I had given my mother for her birthday three years before. It was the first time I’d ever been able to buy her something with money I had earned myself after babysitting all summer. She cried when she opened the box, then she hugged me and told me what a wonderful daughter I was.
Looking at the bracelet and remembering the special moment between me and my mother, the full impact of what I’d done hit me for the first time. My family thought I was dead and they might have to go on thinking it for years, maybe forever. Maybe I would never see any of them ever again. Never roll my eyes at one of dad’s lame jokes, never eat mom’s special maple waffles, never see Curtis produce his first movie, never be the maid of honor at Brandy’s wedding, never have my life back.
So I cried. Okay, I didn’t just cry, I bawled. I bawled like a two year old whose puppy died. Curled up on the floor among the boxes and bags with the bracelet clenched in my fist, I cried like I had never cried in my life. Or at least, so far as I could remember.
By the time Mi Mi came to knock on my door for lunch, I had wound down to sniffles and hiccups. I felt hollow inside. When I called out I’d be down in a minute, I could hear her hesitate, so I guess my voice must have told her something was wrong. But she didn’t press, for which I was grateful, and in a moment I heard her footsteps retreating down the hall.
I pushed myself up to my feet and forced my aching fingers apart. The bracelet had left indentations in my skin. I dropped it on the floor and kicked it under the bed. Then I slipped across the hall to the bathroom.
What the mirror had to show me was not pretty. If you’ve ever cried until you’re all puffy and snotty and red, then you know what I mean. “Gross,” I muttered, reaching for a washrag. I scrubbed my face hard, which made me look and feel a little better even though I had a headache. It was still obvious I’d been crying, but I was hoping Alastair and Mi Mi would mind their own business and not ask what was wrong.
Alastair wasn’t in the kitchen when I sat at the table and there were only two plates, so I figured he wasn’t going to be joining us. Mi Mi glanced at my face as she dished out lunch. I looked at my plate.
“Did you get everything settled in?” Mi Mi asked, as she sat down across from me.
I lifted my head. She was smiling, acting like she couldn’t tell I’d been crying. I decided right then I kind of liked her. “Actually, I still have a lot of stuff to get to, but I think I can finish it up tonight.”
“Good.” She cut a piece from her pork chop. “Have you picked out what you want to wear to school tomorrow?”
I nodded, pressing my spoon into my mound of mashed potatoes. The smell of the food had made me kind of hungry at first, but the second she mentioned school I lost my appetite. “I guess there’s no way we can put it off for awhile?”
“I’m afraid not, sweetheart,” Mi Mi said. “Alastair says the sooner we get you into school, the sooner you�
�ll settle in. And I think he’s right.” Her gaze slipped down to her meal. “You need to be around other kids.”
Something about the way she said those words seemed a little off to me. But I thought maybe it was all me, because I was still upset. And I was nervous about going to school. “Will they all be dragons?”
“Mostly.” She focused on cutting up her pork chop. “We have a few kids who are in the clan by marriage who aren’t dragons.”
“Must be weird for them.”
Mi Mi smiled, but it was a sickly sort of smile. Fake. I could tell. “They fit in here as well as anyone.”
“What about me?” I set my fork down. I was beginning to suspect something was off. “Do they all know I’m a hybrid? How will they take it?”
“It’ll be fine, I’m sure. My,” she popped a piece of food into her mouth, “aren’t these pork chops tasty? I think I outdid myself.”
Could she have been more obvious about trying to change the subject? “Is there something you aren’t telling me?”
“No, of course not. Don’t be silly.” She pointed her fork at my plate. “Eat your lunch before it gets cold.”
Maybe I should have pushed her, but I didn’t. You might think, after the way I stood up to Alastair, I don’t have a problem with confrontation. Well, you’d be wrong. I prefer to avoid it unless it’s really important and I didn’t think this was. I was wrong.
I managed to force my lunch down, but I don’t remember actually tasting it. Mi Mi tried to engage me in conversation, but I couldn’t concentrate. My short, stiff replies soon had her falling silent. It got to be uncomfortable fast, and I was more than glad when my plate was empty and I could retreat to my room.
Unpacking kept me busy for the rest of the afternoon, but left me with nothing to do for several hours before dinner. I could have gone downstairs to the living room and watched TV, but I was worried I might have to talk to Mi Mi and I wasn’t ready for that. It was going to be weird enough at dinner when she tried to pretend like our lunch conversation never happened, which I was almost sure she was going to do.