“Well, you do have to talk to him.” Sherise grabbed the phone and put it on silent.
“I’m not ready to talk to him,” Billie said. “I can barely form words anyway.”
Sherise noticed the face of the phone showed she had twenty text messages. She offered the phone to Billie.
“You can at least read what the asshole has to say.”
Billie grabbed the phone and noted the texts. She pressed the button and started from the top.
“Please call me,” she said, reading the consecutive texts out loud. “Baby, please call me. Where are you? I didn’t sleep with her. I swear I didn’t. Please call me. Where are you? Will you come home? She—”
Billie tossed the phone away. “Oh God, he must think I’m a fool.”
“What?” Sherise asked.
She pointed to the phone on the floor. “He’s saying she drugged him! Drugged him? What is this, some TV soap opera? Does he think I’m so stupid I’ll fall for that?”
“Drugged?” Sherise asked. “What kind of bullshit is that?”
“I should be grateful,” Billie said sarcastically. “At least he didn’t try and pull the you’re-getting-paranoid bullshit Porter tried on me when I first started suspecting he was cheating on me.”
“Stop comparing the two,” Sherise ordered. “Porter and Michael are nothing alike and . . .”
“What?” Billie asked, looking at Sherise and noticing her confused expression. “They both cheated on me, so they’re more alike than different.”
Sherise was trying to get beyond her sympathetic anger and focus. “I was just thinking of what Porter told you. What she did. What she said to him about helping her break you two up.”
“Proves she was planning something,” Billie said. “Of course he takes his time in telling me. That could have been the proof I needed to open Michael’s eyes before . . . ugh.”
“I doubt Michael would take to heart anything Porter had to say,” Sherise shared. “He’d probably think it was all a lie Porter created to drive a wedge between you.”
“It doesn’t even matter.” Billie fell back on the bed with a heavy sigh. “If he wanted to sleep with her, he was going to do it. Obviously, he did.”
Sherise scooted to the middle of the bed. “It’s not your job to stop him from cheating on you, but listen to me. This bitch was going to great lengths to hide her intent from Michael, right?”
“I thought so,” Billie said, “but obviously he was getting her signals or they wouldn’t have . . .”
“Or did he?” Sherise asked. “I mean, if she was trying to recruit Porter obviously she realized she had a challenge on her hands. She risked exposing herself if Porter decided to be an actual good guy for once in his life and warn you and Michael the second she asked him in on it.”
Billie sat up and looked at her. “What are you getting at?”
“Porter turned her down,” Sherise said. “She didn’t have much left. It’s possible . . . Do you think Michael’s telling the truth?”
“Oh my God!” Billie couldn’t believe it. “You’re falling for that, aren’t you?”
“It’s a possibility,” Sherise insisted. “If this woman is evil enough to try and get collaborators in on this, she’s evil enough to drug someone. Did he seem drugged?”
“You know what he seemed?” Billie asked. “He seemed like a high-on-weed, naked-ass motherfucker in bed with his ex.”
“I’m just saying it’s possible something was in the weed,” Sherise said. “You can’t say it isn’t in your frame of mind.”
“I’m in a good enough frame of mind that I know not to fall for bullshit like I did last time. I think . . . I think that the paternity test results were due today. They were trying to get results before they had to go back home, but it wasn’t going to work out. I was grateful for that. I thought I’d rather be with Michael when he got the results instead of her.”
“But clearly she stayed behind,” Sherise said. “She must have been confident the results would be positive and wanted to take advantage.”
“And she did. When Michael found out, he was probably feeling attached to her at the moment. They have a history. That’s how it happened. I just know it!”
“You don’t know it,” Sherise admonished. “You don’t know for sure.”
“Where the fuck is Erica?” Billie asked. “Because you’ve gone nuts. I need an adult!”
“Fuck Erica,” Sherise said angrily. “No matter what bullshit is happening between us, she should be here for you. This is more important than any of her insecurity issues and petty shit.”
“I guess it’s better,” Billie added, despite feeling very hurt by Erica. “If she’s so caught up in herself right now, she probably couldn’t help.”
“It’s no excuse,” Sherise added. “None.”
“Isn’t it?” Billie asked. “I mean, really, if she got my texts and your messages, she knows that my life has just been devastated. For her not to be here means that she is really separating herself from us. After everything we’ve been through, could petty shit really do that?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Sherise said. “Petty shit, real shit. You need her. We need her and she’s not here.”
“I need both of you right now,” Billie told her. “I swear I don’t know where my left or right is. When Porter did this, if I didn’t have both of you, I wouldn’t have made it.”
“I’ll get her back,” Sherise promised. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll get her back and she’ll be here for you no matter what. Nothing is more important than the three of us. She knows that. I just need to remind her.”
When Billie stepped out of her office building, the cold wind slapped her in the face. It was unusually cold for December in D.C., but she appreciated it. Her face was burning. It felt like it was always burning. After surviving her first day at work since finding Michael in bed with Darina just two days ago, she needed this cold air.
She didn’t think she would make it during the day. She had to talk to Sherise at least three times just to keep the strength to be focused enough to get through her meetings. Michael was calling her at work, but she refused every call. He had the nerve to send her flowers with a note begging her to hear his side of the story.
She tossed the flowers in the garbage. Hear his side? She’d seen his side. His side was the right side of the bed that he was lying in naked. No words could speak louder than that.
Her last meeting with her boss ended at four p.m. and Billie felt as if she’d put forth a normal façade for as long as she could. She needed to get back to Sherise’s house to drink wine and fall asleep. She was just so damn tired.
So tired that she didn’t even notice Michael walking toward her as she stepped out onto the sidewalk. She didn’t notice until he was right in her face.
“Baby,” was his first word as he held his hands out and touched her arms.
She was shocked at first, not expecting this at all. Her reflexes were slow due to fatigue, but the second it registered what was happening, she shifted into gear. She jerked her arms from his grip and pushed against him with all her might.
“Get away from me!” she yelled.
People walking by the busy sidewalk turned to look at them, but quickly turned back and kept walking.
“Baby, you have to talk to me,” he pleaded.
She looked up at him and could only feel full of rage. She loved him so much and hated him so much. There was a part of her, a weak part that she hated right now, that wanted to feel sorry for him. He looked pitiful, haggard, and spent.
“How could you come here?” she asked, taking several steps backward toward the building entrance. “Where I work?”
“I need to speak with you.” He sounded as desperate as he looked.
“How did you even know I’d be coming out right now?”
“I’ve been here all day, Billie,” he said. “I was hoping you’d take one of my calls and come down and talk to me.”
�
�I don’t want this drama at my work!”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know where you were all weekend. I was so worried about you!”
“Worried about me?” She laughed. “What did you think, I’d kill myself? You think you’re worth that? How arrogant of you, you cheating bastard. No, Michael, I would never hurt myself over a cheating asshole.”
“Billie, you have to listen to me. I did not cheat on you. I—”
“Stop!” She held up her hand to stop him. “I saw you. Are you gonna try the whole you gonna believe what I tell you or what you see what your own eyes routine on me? Because I have the answer. My eyes, Michael. I know what I saw! I believe what I saw!”
“You didn’t see everything!” Michael yelled. “You came in at the end of—”
“The end of you fucking her!”
Billie got a few more looks, and realizing that a coworker could come by at any minute, she walked over to the side of the entrance, away from prying eyes.
Michael was right behind her. “I didn’t sleep with her. I would never cheat on you, Billie. I don’t remember ever touching her!”
“Oh.” She turned around to him. “So the story has already changed. You’re stepping back from you didn’t sleep with her to the you don’t remember sleeping with her storyline.”
“I remember her coming over with the paternity test,” he said. “I was just about to go online and find out. I thought she was on a plane back home.”
“One thing led to another,” Billie said. “I don’t need to hear the details.”
“That’s just it,” Michael insisted. “That’s all the details I have. We were talking about how I need to be in Duncan’s life and . . . I was drugged. That has to be it!”
“I don’t need to hear any more.” Billie would not be made a fool of.
“I’ve been trying to get her to tell me, but she won’t answer my calls.”
“So the slut didn’t stick around to hold on to her prize?” Billie asked. “Oh well, I guess she got what she wanted. Now Duncan can have his family together.”
“Don’t say that,” Michael pleaded. “Duncan is my son, but she is not my family. I love you, Billie. Only you.”
“You know for sure?” Billie asked, even though she felt it was redundant to even ask. “The tests came back?”
He nodded. “He’s mine but, Billie, I don’t want to talk about Duncan right now. I want to talk about us. I swear to you . . .”
“Don’t swear,” she ordered. “It just makes the lie worse.”
“It’s not a lie!” Michael’s anger was increasing.
“Well, I guess you don’t know,” she said. “You say for sure you didn’t sleep with her. Then you say you’re not sure if you slept with her or not. Can’t make up your mind which lie will serve you best?”
“I’m not trying to do that,” Michael insisted. “I’m just trying to let you know that I love—”
“Stop!” Billie wasn’t having this. “Don’t ever say that to me again! Don’t tell me you love me. The only words I want to hear are when you’re moving out.”
“I’m not moving out,” Michael said. “You’re going to come home and we’re gonna work this out.”
“I’m not moving out,” she stated. “I’m not the cheating whore, Michael. You are. You have to find a new place. Not me.”
“Where are you right now?” he asked.
“None of your fucking business,” Billie responded. “So text me when you’re gone. I don’t want to run into you again. I never want to see your face again, Michael.”
“Billie, do you really think I would let you go that easily?” he asked. “After everything that has happened between us. The love we share. The future we’ve planned. Do you think I would just walk away from that?”
“You did,” she said. “The second you stuck your dick in her.”
“I didn’t—”
“Stop it!” Billie was crying now, unable to keep up the façade of being the strong woman in the face of pain. It was too hard being this close to him. Looking at him was too much of a reminder of what was lost.
“Please,” she begged. “Please, Michael. Stop doing this. I don’t want lies. I’m not a rookie at this. I’ve been through it all before. I’m not willing to go through it again.”
“I’m not Porter,” he said.
“And I’m not stupid,” she said back. “I know about the lies and the pleading and the begging. It’s bullshit. Cheaters are cheaters, and you only get one chance to cheat on me.”
She brushed against him as she walked past, feeling pain just from the contact. She felt her heart stop and her breath catch as he gripped her arm, pulling her back to him.
“You can’t do this!” he demanded. “You can’t just walk away from this. If I had cheated on you, I’d deserve it, but I didn’t.”
“You mean you don’t think you did.” Billie tried to pull out of his grip. “You’re not sure, right?”
“You’re not listening to me,” he said. “You’ve got to listen to me. We need to sit down and—”
“And give you a chance to fill my head with doubts,” she said. “Let you say the exact right words to make me question what I saw with my own eyes. Not again.”
“Stop comparing me to Porter!”
“You’re not different,” she said. “In fact, you’re worse. Porter’s affair happened after months of temptation. You fell off right away. I mean, I know you have history and that probably—”
“Stop it!” he demanded. “Stop mentioning Porter.”
Billie could see she was angering him and she was glad. He deserved it. “I will never, ever trust you again.”
In that instant, he grabbed her and pulled her to him. His mouth came to hers and he kissed her demandingly, angrily, and with all the strength he had. Billie was shocked at how quickly her body reacted to this. Despite all she knew and all she felt, her physical reaction was almost immediate. The touch of him, the taste of him was so wonderful and perfect to her.
“If you won’t trust me,” he finally said after pulling away from her, “at least trust that.”
“No!” Billie pushed away from him, stepping back. She hated herself for letting even a second’s worth of love seep through for him. “Stay away from me, Michael!”
The look on Michael’s face was stark disappointment and very real pain.
“How dare you?” she asked. “How dare you act like you’ve been wronged?”
“I thought you loved me more than this,” he said. “I was certain you did.”
“Don’t you dare pull that shit on me,” she warned. “Try to make me believe I’m the one lacking faith in us.”
“You are,” Michael said. “Billie, you won’t even give me a chance to try and explain. Real love would at least give me that.”
“Real love would have never put us in this situation in the first place.”
He took a step back from her and, in that act, Billie felt more pain than she expected. She looked into his eyes and through her tears she could see him blink and look away.
This time, she made sure to keep her distance as she passed him to avoid any contact, but something told her it wasn’t necessary. He made no attempt to reach out to her this time. She should be grateful for that. She wasn’t sure if she could take him continuing to try and fool her back into his arms.
She couldn’t take any of this. Her heart was beating out of her chest and tears were streaming down her cheeks. She had to get away. As she got onto the sidewalk, walking among the growing crowds, she didn’t look back to see if he was following her. She didn’t want him to, but was not sure she could stand the pain of what she suspected; that he wasn’t trying to follow her at all.
The emotion was overwhelming. Anger, sadness, hate, love, desire, confusion . . . all of it was swirling around Billie’s head and her heart right now. How could she possibly be considering anything he’d said? She’d been through this. That was the whole point. You learn from your
lessons. She knew what she’d seen. She couldn’t doubt herself, especially not based on one kiss.
But she was. Despite what her own eyes had witnessed, there was a little voice that reminded her of the look of pain and desperation in his eyes and the suffering in his voice. He didn’t look like Porter when Porter had tried to make her believe he wasn’t cheating on her. Porter looked like a guilty man trying to appear wronged.
Or maybe that was the gullible fool inside her that Billie thought she’d conquered. The Billie who continued to sleep with Porter, even after he could no longer deny his cheating. No, she wasn’t going to be that woman again. She’d lost years of her life because of being a fool for a cheating man.
Never again.
15
“You’re going to have to make it quick,” Jerry said the exact moment Sherise entered his office at headquarters. “I’ve got a meeting with the Joint Chiefs of Staff at the Pentagon in an hour. The car is—”
“I’ll be as brief as I can,” Sherise said.
She took a seat in the leather chair across from his desk. He was tapping on his tablet furiously while gnawing on a pen. When he looked up at her, he stopped, noticing the expression on her face.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “It’s one week from Christmas, for Christ’s sake. What happened?”
“This isn’t about the transition.” Sherise noticed him calm down a bit. “Well, maybe it is a little bit. Maybe a lot.”
At the sight of his impatience, Sherise decided it was time to go ahead with this. No second-guessing it. She had planned it as well as she could. She needed Jerry to make it work, and if he was as principled a man as she once thought he was, this was no sure bet.
“I know,” she said. “Stephen told me everything.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, flatly.
“I know why Maurice has my job,” she said. “No point in pretending anymore. I know about Stephen’s drinking problem and how Maurice found him in jail and used that to—”
“Stop!” Jerry shot up from his chair, his expression harsh and angry. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Sherise?”
Power, Seduction & Scandal Page 24