by Meryl Sawyer
His computer beeped, bringing his attention back to the screen. He wasn't surprised to see his e-mail icon flashing. No doubt, Raptor had heard about the wedding and was wondering what was happening. A quick glance at his Breitling told Logan that Raptor would be at the command center.
He clicked on the e-mail icon and the message instantly appeared on his screen.
You're married. Does that mean you want a desk job?
Raptor
Using his index fingers, Logan pecked out his response.
Fuck the desk job.
Nine Lives
He sat back and waited, knowing Raptor's e-mail icon would flash on his screen.
You know we don't like to send married men into the field. I've got a spot for you here.
It took Logan a few minutes to explain the situation. He could tell Raptor didn't approve, but there wasn't anything he could do about it.
Let me provide you with a new ID. Miguel Orinda is still hunting for you. He has connections in Venezuela. I don't want him to find out you're there. Remember, he has a price on your head.
Logan thought it unlikely that the cartel boss would discover he was in Venezuela. From all reports the adoption would take just a few days. Quick in and quick out. Like a Cobra strike.
It'll screw-up the adoption papers unless I use my own name. I'll get out of there fast.
Logan heard Kelly stirring in the sleeping bag and looked over his shoulder. Tousled blonde hair was all that was visible now. She'd burrowed deeper into the sleeping blanket. He turned back and read the response on the screen.
How long does it take for an adoption to become final in Arizona? I don't think you can get a divorce before its final without risking Social Services revoking the adoption.
It's six months for adoptions of children born out of the country. I'll be ready to return to action then.
N.L.
Logan signed off and shut down his computer. The rustling sound of autumn leaves being crushed alerted him. He reached for his pack and pulled out his gun. Stepping back into the shadow of the rocks, he saw it was a kit fox, foraging for a meal.
He watched the small fox who was the size of a house cat, thinking he was lucky to spot one. They were nocturnal animals and used their large ears—about twice the size of other foxes—to radiate heat during the hot summer months. By the way the fox was nosing around the rocks, Logan assumed he had the scent of a jackrabbit. With a whoosh of its bushy, black-tipped tail, the fox disappeared into the rocks.
Logan put away his gun and the computer. As he stowed his pack, another sound filled the small clearing. He turned and found Kelly was sitting up, the sleeping blanket gathered around her like a shield.
Aw, hell. She didn't regret last night, did she? He wasn't any good at sweet-talking women. He hadn't a clue what to say.
* * *
You can handle this. You can handle this. You can handle this.
Like a mantra, Kelly silently chanted the words over and over and over as she emerged from the sleeping bag. If she repeated the words enough times, surely it would come true.
Across the small clearing, Logan was hovering over his backpack. Dark stubble bristled across his jaw, making him look more rugged than usual. He wasn't wearing a shirt, so the blazing sun emphasized his tan and the dark hair on his chest. It narrowed to a strip at his waist and disappeared behind the unbuttoned top button of his jeans.
Last night had been … awesome. No word could describe her experience accurately, but awesome covered it. The chemistry between them defied all her closely held beliefs about love and sex. She had never believed it would be possible to have more arousing, satisfying sex than she'd had with Daniel, the love of her life.
Until Logan.
He was a magnificent specimen of a man, not a Hollywood hunk de jour, in style today and toast tomorrow. Logan was the real thing, a man's man who knew a lot about sex even if he didn't have much experience kissing.
Logan was looking at her now, a slight frown creasing his brow. She had no idea what to say. Had she made a fool of herself last night by moaning and crying out with pleasure? She decided to play it light and pretend this hadn't been such a soul-shattering experience. Her instinct for emotional self-preservation told her not to let him know how deeply shaken she was.
"Good morning," she called, mustering a smile.
He returned her greeting, his tight expression transforming into an adorable smile that triggered the unique dimples up high on his cheekbones. "Mornin', Kelly."
His easy drawl was low-pitched and husky. Her instinctive response to him was unbelievably powerful. Her body suddenly felt too warm, her heartbeat jarring her chest.
"I guess my clothes are around hear somewhere," she said to hide her reaction.
If she thought he was going to help her gather her clothes, she was dead wrong. He watched with an amused grin as she unzipped the sleeping bag and stood up, one of the bags wound around her. She hobbled barefoot across the rocky ground and retrieved her jeans. Getting into them while still keeping the sleeping bag around her was a trick that called for a contortionist in a circus.
"You know, Kelly, I've seen every inch of you—close up."
Given they'd made love so many times, her behavior seemed silly, yet to her he was still a stranger. She didn't feel comfortable parading around in front of him in the buff. But she had to pee in the worst way, so she dropped the sleeping bag and pulled on her jeans. Thankfully her panties were inside, which made it faster.
She looked around for her bra and blouse. Then she remembered Logan had ripped the blouse off her. It was worthless now. She glanced around the small clearing, but didn't see her sweater.
The fall air was a bit nippy even though the sun was out. She told herself to be sophisticated. Do not—repeat—do not cover your breasts with your arms. She peered around several large rocks, looking for her sweater, extremely conscious of Logan tracking every move.
Goose bumps pebbled her skin, and her breasts were drawn into tight buds. He seemed to be enjoying the view. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the amused expression on his face that reminded her of a naughty little boy.
"Looking for this?" He held up her sweater.
She marched over to him and snatched the sweater out of his hands. She pulled it over her head, silently conceding she couldn't be angry with him. His playful smile told her that their relationship had transformed. They were on a different level now.
Before she threw herself into his arms, she turned away and found her boots. Without bothering to put on socks, she shoved her feet into them. She headed for the cluster of thick, bushy palo verde trees, calling over her shoulder as casually as she could manage, "See if you can find my bra. I'll be right back."
Relieving herself gave her time to think. Making love to Logan had been raw, primitive, yet a searing, all-consuming experience. This act threatened to cost her more than she'd anticipated. She'd never given herself with such reckless abandon to any man, even Daniel.
Alarmed, she realized she hadn't been thinking about Daniel as much lately. The pain, the anger, the raw ache of betrayal had been dulled a bit. A chapter of her life had closed, she decided, and she had to let it go.
The future loomed ahead of her, misty and out of focus like a half-remembered dream. Last night, she'd done the unthinkable. She'd lied to Logan about birth control. Well, she hadn't exactly lied, but she had deliberately misled him. An impulse from out of the blue compelled her to see if she could conceive a child.
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How many people had thought the very same thing only to find themselves regretting their actions? Her entire life, she'd missed not have brothers and sisters. If she had a baby, Rafi would have one sibling. It wasn't the big family she had dreamed about, but it was the best she could do.
She would never regret having a baby, but she did regret misleading Logan. It had taken some persuading to convince him to marry her so she could ado
pt Rafi. Apparently, Logan's childhood had been so traumatic that he didn't trust a woman to raise a child that wasn't hers.
How would he feel if he knew she was having his baby? He wouldn't like it one bit. He might insist upon an abortion, or he might think this was her way of trapping him, of keeping him in a marriage of convenience that was supposed to end in six months.
"What on earth have you done?"
She had made a stupid, impulsive decision. She had no choice now but to live with the consequences. While it was unfair to deceive Logan, there was no way she would get rid of the baby.
Of course, it was premature to assume she was pregnant. It was entirely possible Logan's "mumps" story was true, and he couldn't father a child. With Logan, it was impossible to tell whether he was acting or telling the truth.
Assuming she did conceive while they were together, could she keep it a secret for six months? Obviously not. Send him away just as soon as Rafi is home. Perfect, she thought as she made her way back to the camp.
Logan had taken the bundle of food that Uma had sent with them and had spread it out on a flat rock. He'd put on Pop's sweater, but it was inside out. He was entirely unaware of the captivating picture he made.
"Did you happen across my bra?" she asked as she came up beside him.
"Bras are only good for one thing—tourniquets."
"Are you saying bras are only good for stopping blood flow? That's a man for you."
"Trust me, that's the only use for a bra." He thought a moment, mischief flickering in the depths of his eyes. "Maybe a bra has another use. If I were into bondage, I could tie you up with it."
"Don't even think about it." Despite her words, for a second she did think about it. It seemed scary but tempting.
He put both his hands on her hips, then slipped up under her sweater. The air was cool against her bare skin, his palms warm. The seductive gleam in his eye said they'd be back in the sleeping bag in a second, if she wasn't careful.
"You don't need a bra, Kelly." His hands cradled her breasts, his thumbs massaging her nipples. "You're perfect just like this."
There was nothing she'd rather do than make love to him. Again. But an inner voice insisted she exert some of her usual will power.
"I was wondering," she began.
He shook his head and grinned. "Gimme a break."
"What would you like broken?"
He chuckled as she tried to squirm out of his grasp, but her efforts were futile. He merely spun her around and backed her up against a boulder, trapping her between his huge body and the rock.
"Seriously, we should discuss theories of raising children and decide what we'll tell the social workers. I downloaded information from America Online. Those parents told me what questions to expect."
"Okay, so tell me what to say and I won't let you down." He lowered his head to kiss her.
"Logan, wait. We've never had an intellectual discussion. I don't know what you think about anything."
He threw back his head and looked heavenward. She was pretty sure he wasn't praying. Given his burgeoning erection shoved up against her, now was probably not the time for an intellectual discussion. But she had a burning desire to know something more about him other than the tidbits he chose to tell her.
He looked down at her again, the sensuous light still in his eyes. "You're better educated than I am. Explain Einstein's theory of Relativity to me."
"Well, uh…" She found herself staring at his emerging beard and remembering how those whiskers felt against her tender skin in very private places. "The theory of relativity is about… Well, I don't really understand it either."
"See?" He smirked at her, a trace of arrogance in his voice. "Neither of us is very intellectual. Let's skip the b.s. I waited for you longer than I've ever waited for a woman, but it was worth it. I promised myself two full days with you—in the horizontal."
* * *
Chapter 24
« ^ »
"Logan's some studmuffin," Uma told Kelly.
"A studmuffin is like a bimbo, all looks and no brains. Logan is smarter than any man I know."
"Then he's a stud, right?"
A stud. Now that was an understatement. "I guess," Kelly hedged, wondering if two days of uninhibited sex was tattooed on her forehead.
Kelly and Uma were in the kitchen, preparing lunch while Logan and Pop were out on the terrace working with Jasper. That morning Pop had picked them up at the trailhead and brought them home. Uma insisted on cooking an elaborate meal, saying she wanted to make something special for them. Kelly had come inside even though Uma rarely let anyone do much in "her" kitchen.
"Uma, I realize you don't know Luz Tallchief, but surely, someone in your clan must know something about her."
"Not really," Uma said, stirring a pot of black beans with one hand and dribbling flakes of Chimayo red chili into it with the other. "She never comes to town. They say that she took Logan's disappearance to heart. She blamed herself for being ill when he needed her."
"Yet when Logan reappeared, she didn't come to see him. Instead she trekked into the mountains and stayed there for days doing an Adant' ti Chant for him."
Uma turned to face her, waving a wooden spoon. "Get real! Can't you see Luz is worried about him?"
"You're right. Do you think she'll want to talk to me?"
"Take Logan. She'll talk to him."
Kelly shook her head slowly. "Why didn't I think of that?"
"Marrying a man like Logan is bound to make a woman spacey."
Kelly opened her mouth to protest, then snapped it shut. Spacey did not cover it. She had forgotten all about the bugs. No doubt the one in the wall telephone near the refrigerator had picked up their conversation.
She kept her next thoughts to herself. After lunch, she and Logan would drive out to Luz's home. His former nanny should have returned. With luck, Logan could persuade her to tell them exactly what happened the day he disappeared.
Behind her, the kitchen door opened, and Pop walked in. Jasper at his heels.
She wanted to remind him—this was a marriage of convenience—nothing more. Pop thought Logan hung the moon, and she knew he was going to be acutely disappointed when he left.
"Uma, do we have a minute to play with Jasper down by the creek?" she asked, and Uma told them to be back in fifteen minutes.
"What's going on?" Pop asked after they'd made their way down the trail from the house to Oak Creek and were out of the range of the listening devices.
"Logan and I are driving out to visit Luz Tallchief later. What do you think?"
"Good idea. Maybe she can help." He looked at the sky where clouds were sulking on the horizon. "Take the Jeep in case of a gully-gusher."
Pop snapped a dead mesquite branch off a bush and hurled it into the stream. Tail wagging, Jasper looked up at Pop, waiting for the fetch signal. Pop clicked his fingers and pointed to the stick that was floating over the river rocks lining the bottom of the creek. Jasper hounded into the water, splashing noisily.
Kelly put her hand on Pop's shoulder. "Please don't count on Logan being around forever, Pop. It's entirely possible he may leave before six months."
"No way. Logan gave his word. He'll stay that long."
Kelly didn't dare tell her grandfather that she was hoping to get pregnant. If she had her wish, she would have to send Logan away before he knew about it.
"Any fool can see how right you two are made for each other."
"Pop, please, don't do this to yourself. It's an arrangement that's all. He'll be off on another assignment, and we'll never hear from him again."
He smiled at her with the indulgent expression she remembered from when she had been a child and had made a mistake. "You're wrong. Logan just wants an excuse to stay here. He's crazy about you."
Crazy about her body, maybe. "Pop all he talked about these last two days was how to survive in various types of terrain. Now I'm prepared to be dropped into the jungle or a desert or the Arctic with n
othing but my clothes and come out smiling, ready to sell my story to television."
"It's the life Logan knows that's why he talks about it. Get him to open up and talk about himself."
"How?"
Pop reached down to take the stick Jasper had retrieved. The dog let him have it, then shook hard, blasting them with water. Pop hurled the stick again, saying, "Talk about yourself. Let him see you're willing to share your past with him. He needs you, Kelly. Only you can give him back a real life and the love he needs."
* * *
Logan would rather be taking a nap with Kelly than going to see Luz Tallchief. Two days alone with her had not been enough.
"At least let me drive." Logan took the keys from Kelly. "You can give me directions."
Kelly had been almost silent and distracted through lunch. Logan decided to keep quiet until she wanted to talk, but it was hard. What he really wanted to do was feel her lips part beneath his and hear the almost inaudible sigh that came when he kissed her.
They were on the road, heading toward Indian Gardens before Kelly spoke. "I never wanted to leave Sedona. I love it here. I went east to Yale to please Pop. I majored in journalism because he expected me to come home and help him run the paper."
He had absolutely no idea where this was going, but he didn't interrupt. He wanted to know more about her. Every little detail. He told himself he was crazy. When you knew a lot about a person, you were … involved.
Involvement required some level of commitment, something he was nuts to encourage.
Aw, hell, he could look at this another way. He was taking a risk by going to Venezuela. The more he knew about Kelly, the easier it would be to predict how she would behave should they run into trouble.
"Things happened," Kelly continued, gazing at him, her expression earnest. "I met Matthew Jensen and he introduced me to his friends. I worked on the paper with him, and slowly, day by day, I gave up my dream of coming home.
"Pop saw me slipping away. That's when he began preparing guide dogs for their formal training. I knew he was proud of his work, yet I never took the time to attend a graduation."