“Why would these people hire private security instead of having you guys stop each and every person at the gate that doesn’t have business here?”
“That would mean admitting to the outside world that there’s a problem. That would mean they might lose some property value or social standing. It’s all about the money, honey.”
I shook my head. “I’m not buying that. People would risk their safety for their social standing?”
“Some. The ones who didn’t want to be involved in the illusion left or are leaving. I’m sure you saw that more houses have been put on the market. Right now, this is a neighborhood divided. The only thing they do agree on is not talking to the press. No one wants the stigma of what looks like the neighborhood being targeted.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because it ain’t right. What they’re doing. You’re a reporter, right? You’ll get this out, and if I say that you can’t use my name, I won’t get fired.”
I didn’t correct him. “Do you know who is committing these crimes?”
“No, ma’am. If I did, I would’ve stopped it.”
“Do you keep a log of who comes and goes?”
“Sort of. We keep a log of people who come and go that don’t live here.”
“Can I see it?” He looked behind him at the guard shack and back at me. I followed his eyes. There was a camera there. “What about the sound?”
“Don’t have any.”
“Tapes? Can I see tapes?”
“Don’t have those either. I don’t know where they are kept. You best go on now,” he said as another car pulled up behind me. I nodded and thanked him. “Don’t thank me. Just make it stop,” he said, waving me by.
An anger, like I’d never felt before, bubbled inside me as I drove home. The Fowlers and Higginbothams were culpable in these crimes. Shit, everyone in that neighborhood, who was too afraid of losing a dime on their property value, was culpable. What was wrong with them? I couldn’t understand how an entire neighborhood of people could turn a blind eye.
And the Jamie thing… Good grief. That poor girl. She’d been torn down and her family had been run out of town just for standing up for herself.
I pulled up at my building and went inside. I was so tired. I felt like I was on the verge of the hallucination stage of sleep deprivation. Even though I had caught a nap earlier, it wasn’t enough to recharge from all the work I’d been doing. Switching shifts had always taken some getting used to, but this time, seemed particularly difficult for some reason. One decent day’s sleep in three days wasn’t enough. I needed sleep.
I was texting my parents as I approached my door. I screamed when I looked up and saw Ben standing there.
“You shouldn’t walk and text,” he said dryly.
“Ben, what are you doing here?”
“I know what you’re doing, Drake.”
“What? Wait, how long have you been here, and how did you know where to find me?”
“I told you not to get too involved. Didn’t I tell you?”
“Ben…” I said shakily as I backed away. I was without my purse, thus without my gun.
“I told you it wouldn’t be good for you.”
“What do you want? Why are you here?”
“I broke my rules for you.”
“What rules? Ben, you’re scaring me.”
“You’re scaring me too, Aubrey.”
“I’m serious.”
“Me too,” he said, letting his head fall. He leaned against the wall and sank to the floor. He didn’t seem so scary from the floor, just vulnerable. When he ran his hand through his hair, it landed perfectly back where it had been before. Lucky bastard.
“What’s going on, Ben? Why are you here, and what in the world are you talking about?”
“Why him? Why Morris? What is it about that guy?”
Oh. “I don’t have anything for Todd Morris, Ben.”
“But he was here, at your apartment.”
“So are you,” I said with a smile. “Besides, what do you care if Morris is at my place? You said you didn’t want to be friendly.”
“I think I’ve changed my mind.”
“You said that I shouldn’t be friendly with my co-workers, remember?”
“No one listens to me.”
“So you want to come inside then?”
He looked up at me. I’d thought Ben was handsome when I first met him, but now I saw him in a different light. He was like my right-hand man. He was smart, handsome, funny, and very talented. He was out-and-out sexy.
“Well, do you?” I asked again.
“I don’t know,” he said, seriously considering it.
“Oh, get up, for Pete’s sake. You’re acting like such a teenage girl.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him up.
I fumbled with my keys while thinking of the things he’d said. Had I really been afraid of Ben? When he’d given me that warning, he’d been talking about my getting involved with people I worked with, more specifically Detective Morris. I thought he knew I was hunting The Village Rapist. I thought he was… I don’t know what I thought.
I needed a drink.
I pushed my key into the keyhole, but the door opened. “What the…”
“Get back,” Ben said, pulling me behind him protectively.
“No way. If there’s someone in my apartment, then they need to come on out!” I shouted from behind him.
He whipped out his cell phone to call the police, but I told him to take the dramatics down a notch. It was quite possible that I just hadn’t closed the door all the way when I left. It took some convincing, but he eventually agreed, only if I let him go in first and check it out. Such a man.
He sort of leapt in the door like a gladiator. I had to hold back a laugh.
“Did you scare them off?” I asked from the doorway, making fun of him. There was no answer. “Ben? Hey, Ben, this isn’t funny—”
“There’s no one in there,” he said, swinging the door all the way open. I screamed again, and if I was being honest with myself, I may have peed a little. “Who’s the drama queen now?” He laughed.
“Shut up,” I said, giving him a shove and closing the door behind us. “So, do you want to order some Chinese? I’m super tired but really hungry.”
“Sounds good.” When he smiled at me, I knew it was real, unlike Todd. Todd just wanted someone to play hide the meat whistle with, but Ben was different. Ben was sincere. We worked so well together I wondered if we could be good at other things together too…
I did a walk-through, and everything seemed in its place. I guess I’d just left the door unlatched in my haste. I was in a hurry to get to the rape victim when I’d left so early this morning.
After some hot and sour soup with Mongolian beef and a couple of glasses of wine, I was feeling as loose as a goose. The wine plus good company had me feeling better than I had in days. I hadn’t realized how tense I’d been until I wasn’t.
“Things got really intense between Toddy Loddy Doddy and you at the hospital earlier,” I said.
“He’s a dickhead. A tiny, little, Smurf-sized dickhead, though. He’s so small.” He laughed and I did too.
“I thought you two were going to have a pissing contest. I almost broke out a ruler.”
“That wouldn’t be a contest,” he said confidently.
“He said he stole your girlfriend,” I blurted out without thinking. All the drunken laughing halted abruptly. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that.”
“It’s okay. It’s true. He did sleep with my ex. That should tell you what kind of person he is. He didn’t even want her. He just wanted to fuck her. She fell for his good cop act.” I scrunched my nose up, mostly because the F-bomb sounded funny coming from Ben.
“Good cop act? What does that mean? He’s not a good cop?”
“He’s been working on this rape case for how long? No leads at all? Come on. Even I could’ve come up with something by now.”
; “Have you?”
He laughed, but then noticed that I wasn’t laughing. “I’m not a cop, Aubrey. I’m a nurse, remember? I don’t get involved, and neither should you.”
“Yeah, sure. I know. I was just curious.” There was a long silence. I chewed on my lip while Ben took a long swig from his bottle of beer. “How long did you wait for me in the hallway?”
He took another long drink. “A while.”
“How did you find me?”
“I told Mr. Fowler that you’d left your phone and I was going to return it to you on my way home. He knew your address right off the top of his head.”
“He did?”
“Yeah. Wait…Don’t tell me that he’s been here too?” he asked jokingly, but knowing what I knew, I didn’t laugh. “What? Did I say something wrong?”
“Oh, ah, no. That’s just weird.”
“I thought so, too, but you have many admirers, so…” he said with a shrug.
“I have many admirers?” I couldn’t help but laugh at him. “I don’t even know anyone here.”
“You know me.”
“Yeah, but you don’t even want to be my friend. That was really mean by the way.”
“I’m sorry. I just, you know, after the thing with Gia, my ex, I just didn’t think it was the best idea to get involved with someone at work.”
“I wasn’t asking you to ‘get involved.’ I was just asking for a friendly hangout.”
“Friendship is a ‘ship’, too.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah, beer’s kicking in. I feel my stupid sliding into overdrive. I’d better go.”
“No way. You aren’t driving. Just take the couch.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“I’m sorry. I just feel really, really tired all of the sudden. Too many shifts plus mixing wine and beer isn’t a good combo.”
“No, I get it. I feel the same way.”
It was uncanny. I really did feel the same way. I left to grab a blanket from a still packed box in the bedroom, but by the time I got back, Ben was already asleep. I tossed the blanket over him then stumbled back to my room, trying to recall how many glasses of wine I’d had. I’d had three. Ben had a glass of wine with dinner and a couple of beers after, I thought.
Chapter 11
When I awoke, I was hung over. I knew immediately upon opening one squinted eye. I nuzzled into my pillow as bits and pieces of a dream I’d been having formed a picture in my mind. The images were fuzzy, but it had definitely been a sex dream. There had been thrusting involved.
“Ben,” I said aloud, sitting straight up in my bed. I’d forgotten he was on the couch. Oh, no, I hope we didn’t… But an aching sensation below told me something had happened. It had been a while since I’d had sex, but I remember what the aftermath of a long night of rolling in the hay felt like.
I tiptoed into the living room of my apartment wearing only a T-shirt, that I didn’t even remember changing into, and my undies. I approached the couch with trepidation. I peeked over the top of the back of the couch, but it was void of Ben. There was only a wadded-up blanket.
I rubbed my head. I couldn’t believe I’d been so irresponsible. I’d heard about girls getting so drunk that they’d slept with guys, but I never believed it was possible for me, until now. I’d never been that drunk.
Honestly, I was hurt that Ben had let that happen. Sure, I’d wanted to fool around with Ben, and maybe even more, but not like this. I would’ve thought more of him than that. Clearly, my judge-of-character o-meter was way off.
I no sooner plopped down on the couch, where I’d left Ben sleeping, when there was a knock on the door. It seemed to resound through my head so loudly that my teeth clenched. I leapt up to get it so whoever it was wouldn’t knock again. Maybe it was Ben coming back to apologize—
“Open up, honey.” I heard through the door.
“Oh shit,” I whispered, feeling like crying as I opened the door to find my parents.
“You don’t call; we show up. You should know this,” my dad said with a shrug.
“Well, I’m glad to see that you’re alive. Why do you make me worry? Why do you do this to me?”
“I texted you yesterday. Stop being so dramatic, Mother. I can’t take it.”
She grabbed my face and pulled my bottom eyelids down. “Are you sick? Your eyes don’t look right.”
“I’m fine. I’m just tired.”
“You shouldn’t put your mother through that, Aubrey. You know how she worries.” By that, he meant he’d had to listen to her concerns and he wasn’t pleased.
“I texted yesterday. I don’t see what the problem is.”
“That pre-typed text will only get you so far, Aubrey Ann Drake. When I call you a half dozen times and you don’t call me back, I get worried. You may be a hotshot doctor in the big city, but you’re still my little girl.” She went on and on as I searched for my phone in the early light streaming through the living room windows.
“Go get dressed for goodness sakes, Aubrey,” dad said, cringing at the sight of me in my T-shirt and panty combo. “You shouldn’t parade around half-naked.”
I snapped at their incessant nagging. “Can you guys just give me a minute? Jeez, I just woke up.”
“Well, we never know when you’re sleeping. You don’t tell us anything.”
I rolled my eyes at her. I loved her, but she just didn’t know when to quit.
I had to call Ben. I had to make this right. I felt just sick over the whole situation. I left my parents on the couch; my mom was still jabbering on about responsibility and how she didn’t care for my tone after they’d driven all this way to check on my wellbeing.
I looked around for my phone and found it in the bathroom. I didn’t even have Ben’s number, so I had to call work to get it. While I was waiting on hold, I noticed a condom stuck to the side of the inside of the toilet bowl.
I rubbed my eyes hard, shaking my head, then flushed the thing, wishing I could make the mistake go away as easily.
Ben’s voice greeted me on the other side of the line. “Aubrey, where are you?”
“I’m at home where you left me. Why are you at work?”
“Because it’s time for our shift.”
“Wait, what?”
“Fowler is pissed. You need to get here,” he said then hung up.
I was so confused. I looked at my phone and sank to the floor in disbelief. It couldn’t be. Three days had gone by since that Monday night with Ben. It was Friday and after six. I was late for work. How could that be? I rushed to look out the window. What I’d thought was early morning light had really been dusk.
Despite concern over my current situation, I took a quick shower, feeling the burn of the water over the sensitive parts that hadn’t been used in so long. Then I tossed on some scrubs and ran out of the bedroom, kissing my parents on my way to the door.
“I’m late for work. As you can see, I’m fine. Thanks for coming. Go ahead and stay the night. See you both in the morning. Love you,” I said as I slammed the door behind me, making sure it closed all the way.
As I drove, I couldn’t grasp having slept for so long. What I thought had been dreams were really realities. I remember getting up to pee, drinking water, eating crackers, then going back to bed. It was like snippets. Had I been that sleep deprived? Not likely, but possible.
Ben was a piece of the puzzle that didn’t fit. How could he have taken advantage of me that way? Plus, he was a nurse. Surely, he had to have known I was in a zombie state. How could he have left me like that? What an asshole he’d turned out to be.
When I got to work, I breezed by him. The place was in full swing, and even though I’d apparently been sleeping for days, I still had a hangover.
“Hey,” Ben said, touching my shoulder as I dove right in, taking a chart from the desk. I gave him a look that could cut. “Whoa, are you okay?”
“Hmm…am I okay? Define okay, Ben.”
“I’ve been really worried. You haven’t picked up your phone or answered your door since I left the other day. I came by twice. I was about to call the police for a well check.”
As I looked into his green eyes, I felt the urge to curl up and cry, but instead, I turned my back, rounded my shoulders, and said, “We’re walking.”
“Aubrey,” he said, grabbing my elbow and swinging me around to face him.
Tears blurred my vision. It was an emotional response that I was certain was a week or so coming with all that had gone on. I slapped the chart into his chest and took off toward the lounge, not wanting to have a meltdown in front of everyone.
I was glad the employee lounge was empty because my chin was dancing as the tears flowed silently down my cheeks. It was just too much. I pressed my back against the door, slid down, and began to think about everything that had happened.
I’d broken the Hippocratic Oath to first do no harm and didn’t even feel bad about it…still didn’t. That bothered me. I’m not sure which part bothered me more: the fact that I’d done it or that I still didn’t regret it. All I’d ever wanted to do was help people. How had I gotten here? How had I fallen so far from what I’d set out to do? Then I’d tried to hunt someone down so I could do it again… And now, on top of all that, I’d become a sleepwalking narcoleptic, just sleeping for days on end. Perhaps it was a self-preservation mechanism of some kind? I laid my head in my hands, wondering again how things had gone so wrong, but didn’t dwell on it because the door swung open with such force that I slid across the floor with it.
Ben stood over me, looking down with a tenderness that made my anger for him momentarily falter.
“Aubrey, what’s going on?” He bent down, brushing the tears from my cheeks like he’d done that fateful day of the shooting, when I’d let a patient die out of vengeance. The day that had changed everything. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t have anything to say to you.”
“Why? Why did you just ghost on me like that? I thought we had fun.”
“Fun?” I let out a humorless laugh. “Fuck you.”
Do No Harm (Dr. Aubrey Drake #1) Page 7