by Sarah Price
For Sylvia, she had used her time wisely, to reflect and to explore but from a safe distance. She wasn’t interested in the Englischer way of life, she knew that already. But she wasn’t ready to commit to a life of obedience and childbearing. She wanted to enjoy life for a while longer. Of that she was certain.
Leah touched her arm. “We haven’t seen much of you, Sylvia. You been working at the market still?”
Sylvia shook her head. “Daed has me cleaning for a widower in the mornings. Then helping at the farm.”
Millie peered around over Sylvia’s head. Her eyes were scanning the anxious faces of the young Amish men standing on the other side. “A widower? The market seems more promising for meeting a young man,” she said.
Leah jumped to Sylvia’s defense. “You don’t know what you are saying, Millie. That market is no place for Sylvia. You know she likes the farming more.” She smiled at Sylvia. “Ain’t that so, Sylvia?”
“Ja,” she agreed. “Too many Englischers at the market and too many busy bodies.”
Millie turned her attention back to her friends. “Well, you’re here now,” she said lightly. “Seems someone might have her eyes set on joining the church and settling down now, ain’t so?”
Sylvia flustered under Millie’s direct question. “Just wanted to be social, that’s all.”
Leah sighed and nudged at Millie’s arm. “Leave her be, Millie. You’ll scare our dear Sylvia away and we’ll only see her at church for the next few months!”
Dear Sylvia. The words rang in her ears. Wasn’t that was Jake had called her? At the thought of Jake, she felt the familiar flutter in her chest and the color rose to her cheeks. She hadn’t told her parents yet. Her father had been busy the day before, helping out at a neighbor’s farm. She already knew that she would tell her mother that she didn’t feel well tomorrow. She’d blame the singing and being out late. It was a mistruth…but not quite a lie. She didn’t feel well…not about being alone with Jake Edwards anymore.
Even God would forgive such a small white lie, she reasoned with herself. After all, that would give her time to talk to her father. She wouldn’t tell him about the kiss or her feelings. No, that would only jeopardize Steve’s great opportunity to plant his own crop of corn before he was to get married in the fall. Instead, she’d tell her daed that she felt uncomfortable working for an unmarried Englischer and she wanted to just work at home. Certainly he’d understand that.
Yes, she thought, that was exactly how she would handle this and she’d be free from Jake Edwards and his powerful presence that simply overwhelmed her. Just thinking about him made the color rise to her cheeks, especially when she thought back to his kisses.
“It’s warm in here, isn’t it?” she asked.
She felt hot and wanted to get some fresh air. It was also getting late. The singing had started at 8 o’clock and by now, at least two hours had passed. She noticed some of the men and women leaving together. Those that were known to be courting were usually the first to leave. The time that they spent together was part of their courting. He would drive her home in his buggy, taking the longest route possible so that they could enjoy time together. The unattached girls that were left behind began to mingle in smaller groups. Occasionally, a young man might join the group, bringing his intended a cup of punch to break the ice and begin talking. Sylvia knew that she wasn’t ready for that and, instead, just wanted to slip out of the door so she could walk home by herself.
“I’ll be back,” she said and did just that…slipped away so that no one would notice. They’d think she was asked home by a young man and that suited Sylvia just fine. She wanted to be alone, away from the speculation and questions of her peer group.
The night air was cooler than usual and she shivered as she escaped the activity and warmth of the barn. Darkness surrounded her and she felt a bit safer. She wouldn’t have to worry about anyone bothering her now. No Adam Knoeffer or Samuel Zook to try to talk her into riding home with them. No, she realized. That wasn’t what she wanted tonight. Not a reminder of what was expected of her when she wasn’t ready yet to commit to that.
“Chilly?”
The voice startled her and she spun around. “Jake?”
He emerged from the shadows. “I wasn’t certain that was you,” he said as he approached. His hands were in his jacket pockets and he wore a wide brimmed hat on his head. “Headed home? No lucky Amish man escorting you to your father’s farm tonight?” His words were slightly teasing.
She was astonished to see him standing before her. Just when she was trying to forget about him, here he was…at an Amish singing no less! “Whatever are you doing here?” Desperate, she looked around, hoping that no one else was standing outside. If anyone saw the Englische widower standing by the barn, talking to her with no chaperone, the bishop would certainly hear about it and she’d get the what-for from Daed.
She saw him shrugged his shoulders as he walked closer to her. “Well, truth be told, Sylvia, I thought I’d see about walking you home, especially since you don’t seem to have an escort now, do you? I don’t have a buggy but it’s a fine night for walking.” He unzipped his jacket and, without asking for her permission, laid it across her shoulders. It felt heavy against her back but she could smell the sweet scent of his cologne. “That’s where you were headed, yes? Then let’s go, Sylvia.” He didn’t wait for a response but started leading her down the lane and toward the road.
ndaded her as her thoughts ran wild. What was the meaning of this? What would people think when they drove by on their way home? With his jacket over her shoulders and the night being so dark, they wouldn’t recognize her. And, to be fair, with the dark wide brim hat on, Jake could pass for an Amish man in the darkness. She felt the too familiar pounding in her chest and the chill of the night vanished as the blood pulsated through her veins. Somehow her feet carried her down the lane next to Jake Edwards.
“So,” he began. “Now that we are headed home, what are we supposed to talk about?” He looked at her. “In an Amish courtship, that is.”
Courtship? “Jake,” she said, her tone a simple reprimand.
“That is what this is the beginning of, Sylvia, isn’t it?”
“I can’t work for you anymore,” she blurted out. The words surprised her more than they did Jake. “I just can’t, Jake.”
Silence. But only for a moment. “Ok, I can see that. It wouldn’t be proper for a courting couple to be alone in the house, right?”
She couldn’t believe what she heard. Courting couple? Was he serious? She actually started to laugh. “I’m not courting you, Jake Edwards!”
He looked at her, his eyebrows raised as he said, “I do believe you are. You are walking home with me from a singing, aren’t you? That’s how it all begins. You said so yourself. And here we are.”
She shook her head in disbelief. He was the most peculiar man and persistent. “What on earth would you want with an Amish girl?”
“Woman,” he corrected.
“You are very forward,” she scolded, but good-naturedly.
“Ah, yes.” He walked closer to her, his arm brushing against hers. “Now we are starting to get to know each other. That’s part of the ritual, isn’t it?”
She was starting to relax, despite herself. “You didn’t answer my question, Jake.”
“I thought we weren’t going to ask questions…” He nudged her with his shoulder.
For a moment, neither spoke. The silence was comforting, however. It gave them both time to catch their breath and sort their thoughts. She was relieved when, finally, he sighed and broke the silence.
“That’s a fair enough question, I suppose. Look Sylvia, I can’t profess that I’ll ever be Amish. But I am here to find my roots. You know my grandfather moved away from the community and I never knew much about it at all. In fact, no one really talked about our background. But after what happened...” He paused, his own mind racing. “Well, I don’t need to go into details right now but it
was powerful enough that I decided I needed to return to my roots. That’s where my family should have stayed, you see. And then, you were there, on that hill…you gave me directions to my house but I’m suspecting you will give me more and far greater direction than that.”
She gasped at his words. She had never heard anyone speak so poetically. And to think that he was saying that about her? “Why me?”
He shrugged again. “You were there when I needed you. I was lost. You helped me find my way. And let’s not forget that it couldn’t have been a coincidence that when you needed help, God put me in your path. “
“At the market…” The words came out like a soundless breath.
He nodded. “At the market.” He reached down and took her hand in his. He was pleased that she didn’t fight him. “Look Sylvia, I wouldn’t ask you to come to my world. It’s an ugly world and I don’t ever want to return. But, let’s put that aside and get to know each other. I told you that you have nothing to fear from me. My intentions are honorable.”
“But…”
He stopped her by gently squeezing her hand. “I know. I’m not Amish. Let’s worry about that later. I trust in faith and in the good Lord that things will have a way of working out for the best. Isn’t that what you believe, too?” He didn’t wait for her answer but brought her hand up to his lips and gently kissed the back of it.
She pulled her hand away from his. That wasn’t something that she was used to, a man touching her. If anyone drove by, they would see a man and woman alone, walking closely together in a more than casual way. She couldn’t chance wagging tongues, even if they couldn’t recognize her in the dark. If word of Jake’s behavior traveled back to her father or, heaven forbid, the bishop, she’d have a lot of questions to answer.
“I do believe in faith, Jake. But it seems you are asking me to believe in fate, too.”
“Yes,” he said slowly, thinking as he answered. “I believe I am asking you to believe in fate.”
Silence. They walked side-by-side, the gravel of the loose macadam cracking under their shoes. Did she believe in fate? She wasn’t certain. “What if fate doesn’t exist? Then what is the point of this?”
He took a step ahead of her so that, when he stopped, she had no choice but to do the same. She stood in his shadow, looking up at his handsome face. She felt her heart flutter so she averted her eyes. “Sylvia,” he said softly. “What is the purpose of courtship to Amish youth?”
“You’re not Amish.”
“Neither are you,” he reminded her.
She couldn’t hide the smile and was thankful for the darkness when she said, “But I intend to be.”
“You didn’t answer the question,” he prompted her.
Their teasing banter had broken the ice and, despite not wanting to, Sylvia found herself relaxing. She wasn’t used to speaking her mind or engaging in any type of conversation like this. She found it exciting and challenging, refreshing even though she was quite sure that it would be frowned upon on many different levels by the bishop of the church district. “Mayhaps I forgot the question, Jake,” she said softly.
He laughed and his laughter rang through the night. She found herself smiling and, once again, wondering why he was interested in her. Certainly there were plenty of women in his world that would find him even more exciting and handsome than she did. Why was he pursuing her? She could sense that he was determined but she didn’t understand for what.
If he were Amish, she realized, she would have avoided him. He was too forward and bold, too persistent and demanding. Yet, because it was Jake and because he wasn’t Amish, she found it endearing and exciting at the same time. Not for the first time, she felt as though she was one of the characters in those forbidden movies that she had watched. Not for the first time, she realized that he made her feel different and special. And, not for the first time, she recognized that she was starting to like feeling that way.
Chapter Thirteen
The following morning, she did not tell her mother that she was not feeling well nor did she tell her father that Jake Edwards did not need her help anymore. Instead, she acted as if nothing had happened. Upon completion of her indoor and outdoor chores, she packed a small lunch bag and set off across the meadow toward Jake Edwards’ farm.
The sky seemed brighter and the birds louder. She smiled to herself as she remembered the long walk home, hand-in-hand with Jake. She couldn’t believe what was happening to her, Sylvia Lapp, of all people. She was the most favored of the group, the quiet dear Sylvia to her parents, to her friends, and now to Jake. And, as long as he kept it honorable, she would believe in God to guide her. If this was the path that He had chosen for her, she would follow it.
He was waiting for her in the kitchen, a broad smile on his face when she walked through the kitchen door. “There you are! I was wondering if you’d show up.” He took a few steps toward her. “I said to myself, ‘Jake, she either is or she isn’t, not a darn thing you can do about it but wait and see.’ Yet, here you are.” He winked at her. “If I was a betting man, I would have lost.”
If she had ever felt shy in his presence before, she felt even more shy now. She wasn’t certain what she was supposed to do or how to act. After all, he was more than her employer now. He was her beau. “I thought it was best,” she said. “Didn’t want any questions asked that I didn’t want to answer.”
He laughed and, with both hands, reached out for hers. “That I can agree with.” He leaned forward and planted a soft, harmless kiss on her forehead. “Now, today we should have a new arrangement, yes? I want you to help me…outside in the barn.”
“With the horses?”
“The horses, of course. But I have a surprise for you.” He turned her around and, with his hands on her shoulders, guided her toward the door.
“A surprise? What kind of surprise?”
He made a gentle clicking noise with his tongue. “Now, now. Isn’t patience a virtue? I seem to recall having heard that a few dozen times in my life. So, if I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise now, would it?”
“I reckon not,” she conceded.
“I reckon so!” he teased.
They walked together to the barn, innocent in their closeness to each other. To an outsider, it would appear to be a young couple enjoying themselves on a beautiful spring day. That was how Sylvia felt and she could tell that Jake felt the same way. And, in that moment, as the birds chirped and the sun shone, she decided that she was doing the right thing, throwing caution to the wind to be with this amazing man…a man that made her laugh and smile and feel more special than she had ever felt before in her life.
He had made it clear that he needed her. She was convinced now, that she, too, needed him. It was a moment of release and rebirth for Sylvia and she relaxed, enjoying his teasing and gentle caresses. True to his word, he did not cross any lines of impropriety. He remained honorable, if perhaps just a little too forward at times. But she knew that there was no turning back and, at this moment, she no longer cared.
They were entering the barn and he placed his warm hands over her eyes. “Close those pretty brown eyes of yours,” he said softly, his breath grazing her ear. “And no peeking.” A shiver ran down her spine at his last words, spoken low and deep, his chin gently brushing against her neck. He guided her to the barn, telling her when to step up and when to duck so that she didn’t hit the low doorframe. The entire time, his hands covered her eyes. But then, he didn’t need to cover them anymore. She could hear what awaited her.
“Cows?”
He released her. “My surprise is ruined! How did you know?”
She couldn’t stop herself from laughing at the disappointed look in his face. “I could hear them!” True to her observation, there were twelve cows lined up in the barn. They weren’t the typical black and white Holsteins but the creamy tan Jersey cows with giant brown eyes and white chins. “You bought cows?” She looked at him, her face shining and her eyes bright. “Whatever for?”
He scratched as his chin and shrugged his shoulders. “Seem to recall someone telling me that dairy was a good business out here. “
“You need more than twelve cows to turn a profit!” she remarked with humor in her voice.
“But it’s a start, right? And since it’s only just me working the barn, I figured twelve is a good start. However, I do have one problem…”
“And that is…?”
“I don’t know anything about cows.”