When she had gone Mrs Doulton said ruefully: 'She's worked for me since I first got married, she's eight years older than I am and she never forgets it, I don't honestly know what I'd do if I lost Fanny, she's as much part of my life as Luke.' She smiled at Judith. 'Don't let her manner offend you; she doesn't mean to be rude.’
'I can see she's very fond of you, she's only trying to protect you.’ Judith reassured her. 'She doesn't offend me.
Ten minutes later she left Mrs Doulton and went downstairs and out into the sunny garden. The air was filled with the fragrance of newly mown grass and flowers. The day was very warm now that the sun had risen high in the sky, the mingled scent of early roses and lilac drifted to her nostrils as she followed the sound of voices through the garden. The swimming pool was built just below the house with a belt of trees to shield it from view and keep the worst of the wind at bay. Judith emerged on the tiled pavement just as Stephanie launched herself into the water with a resounding splash.
'Not so violently, darling,' Angela complained in a languid voice. She was lying on a quilted lounger, her pregnancy barely concealed by the skirted swimsuit she wore. Hearing Judith's footsteps, she turned her head I and waved a lazy hand.
'Hi, nice to see you.'
The others trod water to stare at Judith. Angela's husband, his hair slicked back wetly against his head, smiled at her and said: 'Hallo there.'
Angela took off the sunglasses she wore and gestured with them to the lounger beside her. 'Come and talk to me. Is Mother asleep?'
'Fanny told her she ought to be,' Judith said, and Angela laughed.
'She's a dragon, isn't she? I was scared stiff of her when I was little.'
Judith sat down, feeling a little out of place in her thin turquoise shift dress and sandals, when everyone else was in swimsuits.
'Is your sister here too?' Judith asked, and Angela shook her head. 'Pauline shot off back to civilisation, as she calls it. She loves it over in Geneva, she thinks ‘England is boring.'
'Neither of you live in America; don't you get homesick?'
'I sometimes yearn for toasted marshmallows on top of hot chocolate,' Angela said. 'Gorgeous! But very fattening, so maybe I'm better off without it. We got over to Vermont for a fortnight in April; I do miss Vermont, we have a peaceful place there. Luke keeps it, but he doesn't often visit.'
They talked for a while, then Angela's little boy climbed dripping out of the pool and came over, shivering, demanding to be dried. 'I'm cold, I want to get dressed, Mummy.'
'I'll do it, shall I?' Judith offered as Angela began to hoist herself up with obvious reluctance. Picking up the enormous bath sheet, she wrapped Benny in its folds and began to towel him gently. He stared up at her, all eyes. He had the family colouring, brown hair and brown eyes, but his features were, as yet, indeterminate, his nose small and stubby, his mouth small and pink.
She kissed him on the tip of his nose. 'There you are—want some help getting dressed?'
'I'm going in to dress,' he said, retreating hurriedly.
'Fanny will dress him,' Angela told her with complacency. 'She loves to have them here for a little while; too much of them and she'd be climbing the walls, but once every now and then and she can enjoy the change.'
Dudley. Angela's husband, joined them a few minutes later and stood, towelling himself, exchanging polite remarks with Judith about her work, asking her how she was settling down in Doulton-Klein and telling her that he was a stockbroker himself.
'I don't know how you can stand it,' Angela told him, and to Judith said: 'Or you! It's such a dull life: some of Dudley's friends drive me scatty, I get toothache from trying not to yawn.'
Dudley was quite tall and very thin, Judith could see his ribs beneath his brown skin. He had fine dark hair and brown eyes and an angular, long-boned face. He seemed to find his wife enjoyable, he smiled at her teasingly. 'What Angela means is that she has a habit of going off to sleep halfway through an evening—she claims it's because my friends are so boring, but the truth is she's just a dormouse, she sleeps nine hours every night and still has to take a nap every afternoon.'
'Only when I'm pregnant,' Angela disputed.
Dudley looked at his watch. 'I'm going to get changed, coming up to the house, poppet?' This was to his daughter, not his wife, and Stephanie reluctantly dragged herself away from the sparkling blue water and padded over to join them, leaving wet footprints on the white tiles. When she had dried herself she and her father vanished and Angela groaned, forcing herself up to her feet.
'I suppose we'd better go too, or Fanny will start sending search parties down for us. She has a mania for punctuality, she sulks for days if anybody's late for a meal.'
They walked slowly back to the house, the sunshine warm on Judith's cheek and bare arms. 'My mother tells me she hasn't seen Baba since the engagement party,' Angela said suddenly. 'You know her quite well, I gather.'
'Yes,' Judith admitted warily, picking up something in Angela's tone that worried her.
'Is she really serious about Luke?'
Judith looked at Angela sharply. 'As far as I know— yes. Why?'
'Luke brought her down here once, that's all, he doesn't seem to see much of her. When mother asked him he told her Baba was away a good deal.'
'She is—she models abroad all the time.'
It just seems a bit odd,' Angela said vaguely, frowning. 'I wondered if she was unsure about him. People who've just got engaged usually see a lot of each other.'
'I expect they will when Baba's not so busy,' Judith said defensively, although why she should feel compelled to rush to Baba's defence she did not know.
'It was all so sudden, he rushed into it; Mother says they've only known each other for a couple of months. She's worried about the whole thing.'
'Baba should be back any day, then she'll come down and see your mother, I'm sure.'
They went into the house a moment later and Angela vanished upstairs to get dressed. Judith heard some music in one of the rooms and walked towards it, expecting to find Dudley. She pushed the door wider and then stood frozen with shock on the threshold as Luke turned to look at her.
'You're not seeing things,' he assured her, laughing at her stunned surprise.
'When did you get back? I thought you were still in Sydney…'
'I flew back overnight.' He grinned. 'Can't you see that my eyes are propped open with matchsticks? I'm suffering from jet-lag, that's why I drove down here rather than go home. I need some peace and quiet. It never occurred to me that Angela and her brats would be here or I'd have shoved off to my flat.'
Judith pulled herself together, walking into the room with an assumed calm. 'Did everything go okay?' she asked.
'I think so. He started to tell her about the meetings he had had in Sydney and while she listened she struggled to slow her heartbeat, quieten her pulse, get her high colour back under control. He was looking tired, there was no doubt about that; he was pale and there were shadows under his grey eyes. He was wearing a lightweight pale grey suit and a white silk shirt which was open at the throat and with which he wore no tie. She could see that he had recently shaved and his dark brown hair had a slight dampness at the temples, as though he had also just had a shower.
'I was tempted to come down for a swim when Fanny told me that was where you all were, but I needed a shave and a drink. I'll maybe have a swim later,' he said as Angela and Dudley arrived, turning towards them. 'Can I get you a drink, you two?'
'Pineapple juice for me, I'm not drinking because of the baby,' said Angela, lowering herself with care into a chair.
'I'll have a dry sherry,' Dudley decided.
Luke glanced at Judith, his brows lifting. 'Sorry—I forgot to ask you, what will you have?'
'The same, a dry sherry, thanks.'
They had just finished their drinks when Fanny came in with the children and said: 'Lunch is ready. Now!' she added as Luke moved towards the decanters arranged on a charming Georgian cabinet
against the wall.
'I'm just putting my glass down,' Luke protested. He switched off the stereo which had been playing softly as they all talked and they filed out of the room, the two children attaching themselves to their father and chattering to him while their mother listened, smiling.
Lunch was a leisurely meal, and after it the adults went back into the pleasantly furnished sitting-room to drink coffee while the children vanished to talk to Fanny. Luke and his sister teased each other while Dudley smoked a cigar and sleepily watched them and Judith looked at the polished, antique furniture, the bowls of wallflowers and the pot of pink-petalled azaleas, the comfortable deep-upholstered brocade-covered chairs and sofas. It was a room to relax in, reassuringly traditional and filled with sunlight from the wide windows.
'We must be on our way soon,' said Dudley, looking at the gold-cased clock on the mantelpiece. It chimed three and they all turned to stare. 'It takes us an hour to get home from here,' he told Judith. 'When we've had tea and the kids have had their bath it's time to put them to bed. Sunday seems a much shorter day than any other—funny that, isn't it?'
A few minutes later he and Angela drove off with the children and Judith said reluctantly: 'I'd better go too.'
'Why?' Luke challenged. 'I was hoping you'd come for a swim—I'm going to have one now.'
Acutely aware of him, Judith shook her head quickly. 'I can't, I'm afraid, I didn't bring a costume with me.'
'So my mother told me. That's no problem. I've already seen to that—Angela keeps a few swimsuits here, I got Fanny to lay them out on her bed, you can take your pick. When she isn't pregnant, Angela is more or less your size, one of them is bound to fit you.'
Her face flushed with apprehension, Judith shook her head again. 'It's very kind of you to take the trouble, but I think I really ought to get back, I've got some work to finish before tomorrow.' She thought that that would let her off the hook, Luke would approve of her going back to work, but she was quite wrong, for he frowned at her.
'My mother has been scolding me for making you work so hard. She's right, too. I should have realised you were cramming yourself with all those folders, it's time you slowed down and took things more easily. We all need a little relaxation. Off you go; get changed and be down at the pool in ten minutes. You look as tired as I feel, some fresh air and exercise will be good for both of us. ' He took her arm and pushed her towards the stairs, and Judith gave up trying to argue. She wanted to swim with him, why pretend she didn't? It was dangerous to her to be alone with him, especially in such intimacy, but she couldn't resist the chance and Luke had no idea how she felt, anyway; nothing would happen except that she would steal an hour or so of happiness. That wouldn't hurt Baba, the only one who might get hurt was herself.
She was taken aback when she looked at the swimsuits on the bed to find that they were all bikinis. That made her hesitate for a minute or so, but in the end she stripped off and put on a black bikini, then stood in front of the bedroom mirror staring at herself with nervous uneasiness.
The tiny cups left far too much of her pale breasts visible and the bikini briefs were tied at the hip with minute bows between which the dark material stretched tautly. It hardly seemed to her that she was wearing anything at all, she simply could not walk down through the garden to join Luke wearing something like this!
He tapped on the door before that thought had done more than flash through her head. 'Come on, I'll race you down there!'
Judith heard him running and opened her door to call: 'I've changed my mind...' but he was already out of earshot. She hesitated, then followed. She would dive into the pool as soon as she arrived, that way she wouldn't have to stand there while Luke looked at her.
When she emerged on the paved surround of the pool she saw his dark head in the water, his hair slickly plastered to his skull. He had his back to her as he swam, so she took advantage of that to run forward and dive off the side of the pool. Just as she leapt forward Luke turned to face in her direction. Judith was already hitting the blue water, she surfaced a second later and began to swim. She saw Luke's head a few feet away, rising and falling, sunlight glinting on the tanned stretch of his arms as he struck out.
The sun was now quite hot, it turned the pool to a dazzling sheet of light and Judith felt her shoulders absorbing the sun's rays as she stopped swimming and floated on her back, her eyes closed. Her wet hair drifted out from her head like sea weed, the buoyancy of the water made her body rise and fall without effort.
'Lazy,' scolded Luke, appearing beside her. 'Is that all you're going to do all afternoon?'
'Probably,' she said without opening her eyes.
She felt him floating beside her, his bare arm brushed hers and a fierce awareness shot through her, her eyes flew open and their gaze met. Luke's hard face was sombre, his mouth level. After a few seconds he looked from her eyes to her mouth and Judith felt the crash of her heartbeat shaking her whole body. They seemed to be locked in a strange silence, the rest of the world a million miles away. Luke's head moved closer, she watched his face, hypnotised, his mouth was coming down towards her own with such infinite slowness that it was like being in a slow motion film. She stopped thinking, she was shuddering with a need that hurt. Then Luke's lips touched her mouth and she jack-knifed abruptly, thrusting him away and at the same second turning on to her front to swim for the side.
She pulled herself out of the water and began to run. Luke caught her before she had got three paces. His hands fastened on to her bare, wet shoulders and whirled her round to face him.
‘No. Luke…' she began before his mouth closed over her own again, opening her lips with a compelling heat before which she felt herself surrendering helplessly. She felt his fingers slide along her bare midriff, his hands moved on her wet back, one palm flattening against her waist to push her towards him while the other began to stroke along the smooth indentation of her spine, causing jagged splinters of mingled pleasure and pain to ache under her skin. She was trembling, shivering, conscious of his bare calves touching her legs, the roughness of the hair of his thighs pressed against her smoother skin. She tried to push him away, her hands on the broad, wet shoulders, but he was immovable. His ringers had reached the nape of her neck, he wound them into her tangled wet hair and pulled her head back, bent her slightly, her body shaped to fit beneath his, almost unbalancing her so that she could only cling to his shoulders to stay upright.
Luke lifted his mouth at last; with her eyes still shut she heard him say huskily: 'I've been wanting to do that for days.'
Her lashes were wet with tears, she opened her eyes and pushed him away angrily. 'You really are a bastard, aren't you? Baba's a friend of mine—I won't cheat on her, even if you're ready to!'
'I didn't intend that to happen, I wasn't planning to kiss you, but when you looked at me I…' he broke off, his mouth crooked. 'I'm so bloody jet-lagged I couldn't help it.'
'Do you have to try it on with every woman you meet? My God, if I looked like Baba I might understand you making a pass, but don't try to kid me you find me irresistible! I'm not that dumb.' Her face was stinging with angry colour. 'I don't like having routine passes made at me!'
'You're not dumb, you're plain crazy,' Luke said wearily. 'Don't tell me you don't know how I feel, because I've seen you look at me—I know you've noticed, you're too clever not to have realised.'
Judith didn't feel clever; she felt bewildered. She stared at him, her dark eyes wide, searching his face for clues. What was he talking about?
'I'm not going to apologise for falling in love with! you.' He was looking at her in a way that made her| heart flop over in sickening happiness. 'I'm a realist. It's happened and there's nothing I can do about it, nothing I want to do about it.'
'You can't,' she protested. 'I'm not beautiful, like Baba, I'm…'
'Even if you were so ugly you had to go around with a bag over your head, I'd still want to be with you all the time,' Luke interrupted with a sudden smile. '
Beautiful? No, my love, you're not beautiful—but then that isn't what I love about you, how you look. It's how you think. I love your sharpness and quickness, your sense of humour, your cool way of looking at things. I proposed to Baba on a crazy impulse. I wanted a wife. She was everything I'd thought I was looking for—she was beautiful and kind and sweet-tempered, she didn't seem to have any flaws at all. So I rushed into a proposal and everyone seemed pleased; my mother was delighted, Angela liked her, it was all perfect.' He turned his head, brushing back a wet strand of hair from his face, his eyes miserable. 'Until I met you, and fell in love and realised that I'd made a hellish mistake.'
CHAPTER EIGHT
JUDITH was stiff with shock, her skin icy, she had to sit down before her legs gave way beneath her. She stumbled to a lounger and practically fell on to it. Luke sat on the lounger next to her.
'How was I to know I was going to walk into you five minutes after getting engaged to her?' he said, more I to himself than her. 'If I'd never asked her to marry me, I'd never have met you anyway—that's the ironic part. Whoever arranges these things has a perverted sense of humour. One minute I was feeling quite pleased with life because Baba seemed to be exactly what I'd been looking for—the next I was in the middle of that fight with you at the nightclub, and that was when you started getting under my skin. I was ready to break things when you looked at me as if you thought I was a rat. I told myself it didn't matter a damn what you thought, but I knew it did. I should have been warned, then, but it still didn't dawn on me…'
Judith had stopped trembling now, she sat up, swallowing to clear her throat. 'I think we'd better go back to the house and get dressed now and I'd better leave. We'll pretend this discussion never happened, and as soon as I can, I'll find another job.' She had thought out what she was going to say before she said it; her voice sounded calm and level and her face, she hoped, gave the same impression, although she was not so sure of that. She did know, however, that facts were facts—she had been drumming that into herself since she was very small and they told her that her father was dead. From that moment she had been on her own, although at the time she hadn't understood that. It was only gradually that she had realised that her father's death had shattered her family life. After that, her mother was never there and her grandparents were so old. The symmetry of the' family had been destroyed overnight. Family life protects children from the cold winds of reality, she thought; most people don't realise until long after they have become adults that everyone is essentially alone in life. Judith had never that sort of shelter after her father died; she had envied other children their normal family backgrounds. She remembered vividly hearing her mother say: 'I must go out to work now, of course. Facts are facts, you can't change them by wishing.' It must have been embedded in her consciousness by the pain of the moment; from then on she had made herself face facts. She had to face them now.
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