The next time I saw Yas was a few months after my wedding at my family gathering. Yas told me she thought she was pregnant again. While I didn’t suffer that badly with pregnancy Yas did, and she looked terrible!
She would refuse to eat in fear that she would bring it back up, and because she wasn’t eating she had become so thin. Abdul’s family was doing everything they could to support her but nothing worked.
The biggest and best news that we heard since arriving in Yemen was that our sister Nebat, who hadn’t been able to conceive since she had been married, was now pregnant! She put it all down to Yas and me, saying that we sisters had brought her good fortune and that she would never be able to repay us.
Yas and I spent as much time as we could together. We knew this was a one-off occasion that brought us together, so we snuck out of the house to our mountain. I told her all about Ziad and his dysfunctional family and she told me about Abdul and his. They treated her well although financially it was a struggle. Abdul spent most of his time studying in college and she was helping him with his English studies as well as doing her chores.
Yas told me about the day she lost her baby. She said she was in a lot of pain and ran up to the roof in Gran’s house holding on to her tummy and crouching over in pain. It was just after my wedding and she was still in our village. On the roof she said she felt something come out of her and when she looked she saw something small. She described it looking like a small lizard with tiny hands and feet but without the tail. She said she and Gran buried it on the roof under a load of dirt. Yas and I stayed on the mountain and chatted for a while before we made our way back to the village.
I was only allowed to stay at Dad’s for two days because Ziad was going to Africa in a few days, and I was needed back to see him off. It was never easy saying goodbye to Yas but we always knew we never had a choice.
We would beg each other to stay in touch and promise to write. We held on to each other hugging, and would always have to be pulled apart. Granddad would even threaten never to let us see each other again because of how long it took us to say goodbye! Whichever one was driving away in the jeep, the other would run behind blowing kisses and waving, shouting how much we loved each other. My heart would break every time I said goodbye to my sister and I’d swear to myself I’d never lose touch with her.
Chapter Thirteen
The Scorpion Bite
Ziad had been taken away from his African mother not long after she had given birth. His father brought him back to Yemen, where his mother Dobia and her daughter Ayesha raised him. He was sent to boarding school in Paris when he was very young where he stayed; only returning to Yemen for short holidays.
Ziad had two younger brothers and two sisters. The girls lived with their mother and father in Sanaa but the boys, Ali and Hussein, lived away from home. Ali and Hussein were in Paris studying just like Ziad had when he was younger; they only returned for short holidays. After leaving boarding school Ziad travelled the world, working with his father in his businesses before settling in Africa where he had been working before coming home to marry me.
His father owned properties and businesses in Paris, Switzerland, Africa and Yemen. He had shares in Hilti, the company that made tools and owned the one and only tele-communications company in Yemen. He also had shares in many other businesses, one of them an oil company. Nasser Ziad was a very well-known and ruthless businessman, feared by everyone who knew him!
When he came to the village everyone would fuss around him, following him around and making sure everything was perfect as if he was some kind of king. He didn’t come often, but when he did all the wealthy men of the village would be invited to a feast at our house. A cow would be slaughtered in our back yard and we would all have to come together and cook.
He would hand out money to all the women while they kissed his hand and praised him. Ulfah, his father’s third wife, would even go as far as falling to her knees and kissing his feet! I didn’t hate Ziad’s father, he hadn’t done anything bad to me, but I also didn’t fear him like everyone else did. I thought he was arrogant and rude, I would just take his money and say a quick ‘thank you’ and smile. This was to the dismay of all the sisters who would tell me off for being rude!
Nasser Ziad had now decided that Ziad, who was his first born son, was to be in charge of all his assets in Africa. He owned many properties and shops with many workers and Ziad now needed to go to back to Africa to be in charge. Other family members and many villagers were also working for Nasser Ziad in Africa. Humayrah’s sons Hussein and Ahmed were both there working for him.
Ziad was to leave that week and was trying to convince me to go with him. He was telling me that over there I wouldn’t have to lift a finger, they had servants that did everything. As tempting as it sounded, I couldn’t go; Ziad was going to be gone for many years!
When he first told me he was leaving to go to Africa I only thought he was going for a few weeks or months. But when he told me he could be gone for at least two years maybe more, I was shocked! I told him I couldn’t go with him because I couldn’t leave knowing that I wouldn’t see my sister for that long.
It wasn’t really Ziad that wanted me to go to Africa with him but his father; he had told Ziad that the whole purpose for him getting married was for him to have his wife by his side. Although Ziad wasn’t happy he said he understood, and promised he wouldn’t stop me from travelling in his absence to visit Yas. Usually when husbands are away the wives are not permitted to travel unless it’s an emergency. Ziad left instructions with his grandmother and Umie Ayesha to allow me to travel to Sanaa whenever it was suitable. Ziad left for Africa when I was around two months pregnant with my first child.
Life became really difficult after Ziad left. I was made to give up my luxury top floor room and move into the room downstairs with Dobia and Umie Ayesha. This room was also the room that was used for gatherings and every other occasion, so privacy became impossible. Wives were allowed their own room but there weren’t enough rooms in the house for me to have my own. The room we had been staying in was Nasser Ziad’s room and now it was to be cleaned and locked! The house was split into sections for wife number one and her family, and wife number two and her family.
Our side of the family had bigger-sized but fewer rooms. It was a strange setting because although they were divided in so many ways, they still ate together and sat together as if they were one big happy family, but behind the scenes they hated each other!
After I got married I was told every day to wear my make-up and gold from when I woke up until I went to bed; I would also have to change my clothes twice a day. As soon as Ziad left I was made to pack away all the gold, clothes and make-up and lock them in my suitcases where they would stay until he returned. I was only allowed to pick out a few of my worst dresses and trousers that I was allowed to wear.
When he was there the work I’d been doing was minor house chores; as soon as he was gone I was made to do both house and field work. Ziad’s family owned a lot of land, way more than Granddad ever had, and it was harvesting time! Although Umie Ayesha still favoured me over everyone else and supported me in every way she could, she had her own work to do.
I would rise at 4 am every day to start my chores, and if it wasn’t my turn to stay at home and cook or clean I would go to the fields with the others and work until the sun went down. Whoever was on cleaning duty would bring us breakfast then lunch to the fields so that we wouldn’t have to come home. At harvesting times there were no days off for anyone and harvesting came around a few times a year. It always felt as though once we had finished picking one thing, another was ready to pick!
I was about five months pregnant when I finally got to see Yas again. Although I had sent a few letters with Ziad’s uncles when they went to Sanaa and was over the moon when she had sent me one back, I hadn’t seen her since my family gathering and I was missing her like crazy! Umie Ayesha was going to visit her sister Funda, who lived in Sanaa, and w
ho had just had a baby. She was going to be gone for a week and I begged her to let me go with her, and after a lot of begging and crying she finally agreed!
Funda was lovely, just like her sisters, and after staying with them the first day her husband dropped me off outside Abdul’s house the next afternoon. Yas had no idea I was in Sanaa and when I walked in we both jumped up and down in delight and then rushed into her room to catch up.
After I took off my sharsharfs I looked at Yas as I rubbed my tummy. Although I wasn’t very big I was much bigger than Yas; she didn’t have any bump at all! I leant over to rub her belly, joking around.
“Where’s your belly? Look at the state of me, I look so fat and you don’t even look pregnant!” Yas stopped me from touching her belly and held my hand.
“That’s because I’m not, I had another miscarriage!”
We sat down and once again I listened to my sister as she told me how she had lost yet another baby about a month earlier. She said Abdul had been taking her to see doctors because he’s getting worried about her health and the fact that she keeps losing her babies. One doctor gave her injections that she had to take every day for a few weeks.
I was so upset. My sister was going through such a bad time and I knew nothing about it because we lived so far apart, but then again even if I had known, what could I have done to help her? We tried not to let the sad news ruin the fact that we had managed to stay in touch and we tried to enjoy our time together. It was on this visit that Yas told me she had been able to send a letter to Uncle Jim back home in England, and she had received a reply!
She had convinced Abdul to allow her to contact him and now he had written back, saying he was going to save money and come over to the Yemen to visit. She told me she hadn’t said anything bad in the letter because she didn’t know if it would get read before it got sent, but she just wanted to make contact.
That afternoon we both sat and wrote a letter to Uncle Jim and our families back home. We told them all our news, trying not to sound like we were complaining, Uncle Jim was wise, and we knew he would come for us. We spent the rest of the afternoon hopeful.
We always had fun together, giggling like little school kids and running back and forward from her room to the main room where the rest of the women were. Abdul’s family were nice people and would let us get on with it as long as we respected the rules of keeping covered from any men who were in the house eating ghat or visiting the family.
I was allowed to visit Yas a few times while I stayed in Sanaa, but soon had to go back to the village. We said our goodbyes as always, but this time we knew that we would see each other soon because I would have my baby!
It wasn’t long after coming back from seeing Yas that I was whisked off to see the medicine woman once again. I was having really bad nightmares about my baby being taken away from me. I couldn’t remember the exact dream but my baby was being ripped from my stomach in my dream and when I woke up I had scratches all down my back and chest. When I told the sister of the dreams I had more than once, and showed them the scratches, they freaked out and immediately took me to see the old lady! I knew I’d made the scratches myself because I was always scratching since becoming pregnant, especially in my sleep, but once again the sisters believed there was more to it and off we went!
The old lady really made some potions that day! She made us sit in a dark room and started chanting some stuff that I didn’t understand while throwing these potions she had made around the room! Then she sacrificed a chicken and drained its blood and left it on a plate in the room while we all went into another room. Then she made another wrap for me to carry. She told the sisters that dark forces from the other side wanted my baby but because she had sacrificed the chicken I was now protected!
I didn’t believe in dark forces or any of the old ladies’ talk but the visit really freaked me out! I was so scared of losing my baby; this baby meant so much to me because it was the one thing that nobody could take away from me. It was one person I could love as much as I wanted without the fear of losing.
Ziad sent me stuff every time one of the workers came back from Africa. He would send me money, clothes and perfumes from the shops they owned over there. Every time he sent me money I would put some in a letter and send some to Yas. Ziad’s uncles were always going to Sanaa and they would take it for me. Whatever money I had I would split it, some for her and Nebat and some to buy gold for me. Gold was expensive but I could see the other wives buying gold and I knew it was good to put it aside. Maybe one day I would need it!
When his uncle Ahmed came back he sent me a huge suitcase full of baby clothes! The clothes were so expensive and nice, all the women from the family wanted to see them because they had never seen such nice baby clothes. There were clothes, blankets, bibs, washable nappies, talcum powder, creams, hats, even little shoes for when the baby got bigger! Usually babies are wrapped in sheets until they can crawl but our baby would be dressed from the day it was born!
Ahmed had come back to get married, he was marrying the girl that Ziad was refused before me. She was tall and beautiful, much taller than Ahmed and her name was Sofia. She only lived a few doors away from Ziad’s family home and the wedding happened a few weeks after he got back from Africa. Even though the wedding was huge, it was nothing compared to our wedding. I could tell that the family was not happy with the fact that Ahmed had married the girl that had been refused to Ziad; not that they cared about the girl anymore, but it showed that they had no loyalties to each other.
The sisters helped with all the arrangements and didn’t let their disapproval show, and for the first time I was on the other side of the family that took home a virgin at a wedding. Once Sofia and Ahmed had spent time together in their room Humayrah proudly came into the room where all the sisters and female family had been called to see the ‘white cloth.’ I was horrified to see them all pass it around and inspect it one by one and as someone went to pass it to me I respectfully said ‘yuk’ pushing it away to get it passed to the next person before it was handed back to Humayrah. Then she took it to another room, this time for the male members to inspect!
It was about two weeks after Ahmed’s wedding that Mohammed’s wife went into labour with her second child. Warda was really young and although she kept saying she didn’t know how old she was, she looked younger than me and she was tiny!
She was skinny and petite and although she was pretty she wasn’t the prettiest out of the wives, but I got on well with her. She kept herself to herself and didn’t stick her nose into other people’s business, but she could stand up for herself if she needed to! Mohammed was really tall and because Warda was tiny she barely came up to his chest. Mohammed was an Imam, a preacher at the village mosque; he was Humayrah’s oldest child.
Humayrah was away in Sanaa with her daughter when Warda went into labour, leaving the sisters to take care of her. She went into labour during the night and it lasted until the next afternoon. That day was my day to do the cooking so I was home, leaving me to help them with Warda. Umie Ayesha had kept me out of the room, saying that I needed to do my chores and that they could cope without me. As time went by I could hear Warda screaming and couldn’t understand why she was making so much noise!
Sofia came out of the room and told me to go in with her; she said I needed to see what giving birth was really like. When I entered the room I saw Warda lying on her back, she was obviously in a lot of pain. Umie Ayesha got up straight away and escorted me back out of the room, arguing with her sister this wasn’t the right time for me to be seeing someone giving birth because I was heavily pregnant myself with my first child. She said it would scare me. Sofia on the other hand felt that I needed to see what really happened during child birth; she felt I had unreal expectations about child birth because I kept going around telling everyone that I was going to ‘sneeze’ and the baby would fall out! Sofia won the argument and I was allowed to witness my first birth!
I was told to sit beside Warda and
hold her hand, which was uncomfortable because as she kept twisting and turning she wouldn’t let go of my hand, instead she would twist me with her! She was having contractions at the time, which meant absolutely nothing to me. I listened to her scream in pain over and over again, and listened to the sisters telling her to push with nothing happening, so I thought what the hell! I put my face close to her ear and quietly told her to sneeze, maybe that would help? With that she grabbed my hand and bit me! We both started screaming! She was trying to push her baby out while I was trying to break free of her bite! Unfortunately for her, I broke free first!
“She bit me!” I screamed, looking at my hand. Thankfully she hadn’t broken the skin because she had bitten the fat bit.
“That will teach you a lesson!” Sofia said, laughing. Umie Ayesha gave her sister a disapproving stare.
“Don’t be so cruel, she’s just a child, she knows nothing about childbirth. Why do you think I didn’t want her in here?” she said angrily.
Warda started screaming again cutting off the argument. As she screamed she grabbed the top of my arm and started squeezing. For such a little girl she was strong! But this time I kept my mouth shut while she delivered a little baby boy!
My visit with Yas came sooner than expected. Nebat had her baby and it was a little baby boy. She had finished her period of rest in Sanaa and was now going to Dad’s house to show off her little baby, but we also had another reason to go to the village.
One of our uncles had come back to Dad’s village and we were all called to a family feast to meet him. His name was Salah; our family hadn’t really spoken of him much. They had always spoken about Uncle Ahmed, our youngest uncle who was studying abroad but not Salah. He was the black sheep of the family and for many years hadn’t been allowed back into the family home. We were never allowed to know why, but now he had talked things through with the family and was welcomed back!
A Father's Betrayal Page 23