She came up to me, pressed her palms fiercely against the meat of my shoulders, then sent me stumbling backwards. Just as I was about to lose my footing, my back braced itself against a metal wall. I grunted, as I felt the blunt sting of a rivet digging into my upper back. I pushed back, but she wouldn’t let go. She then struck her palm against the top of my forehead, which sent the back of my head bouncing off the wall with a painful, metallic thud.
"Don't you ever say anything hurtful about yourself." She narrowed her eyes, as if threatening to strike me again, before turning her gaze downward. She gripped the cloth of my shirt and tugged at it like a loose tree branch. Then she went silent.
Her body pressed up against mine in an attempt to keep me from escaping. I looked down at her, but all I could see was the long, black hair atop her head, as she tried to hide any expression on her face that might betray her feelings underneath the wrinkles of my shirt.
I was going to ask her if she was all right, but she struck her palm against my forehead again. I groaned from the pain, rubbing the sore spot on the back of my head. She quickly let go and made for the hatchway.
She stopped just before exiting and with her back to me, she said, "If I ever catch you pitying yourself again. I'll make sure you regret it."
If ever there was a moment on the Emperor's Airship I remembered most, it was when the ship took flight. For upon the empire's divine vessel, there were ceremonies and traditions that needed to be attended to. Several hours before departure, the monks prayed and blessed every deck with the sweet smells of incense and scented oils.
There was a brass signal bell the size of a small house at the center of the main deck, which had detailed images of valleys and mountains molded all along its surface as well as pictures of the sun goddess and the moon god looming along the edge of the base. A mighty hammer was used to sound the bell three times: once to signal that the monks had finished their spiritual preparations, the second to announce that the captain and his men were ready, and a third and final ring to acknowledge that the emperor had given his decree to cast his feet from the earth and make haste for the skies above.
All but the third ring had been made by the time the rest of the children and I had been ushered above deck to witness the launching. The shyo mu, whose job was to observe the weather, announced that all was clear and calm before heaven’s grace and the chienkuu ko in the glass bubble of the ritual room below rang a chime-like gong that sounded throughout the voice pipes, a sign that they too were ready. Though the children in the ritual room would be tasked with flying the ship, there was an honor to be had among us that was unique only to the emperor's vessel; and that was the chienkuu ko who would stand at the very bow and commit us into the air. For Ai, this was a moment solely bestowed to her.
The Young Emperor, surrounded by his court, took his seat upon a throne made of brass and mahogany at the highest point of the deck just below the bridge tower. The rest of us stood in orderly rows as Ai, escorted by Master Ichiro, the Boar, regally made her way to the very edge of the bow.
Secretly, and with much anticipation, I’d been eagerly waiting to watch her perform the elegant motions that I’d seen her do the other day. From the moment I’d witnessed her dance-like movements, I’d felt overtaken, perhaps even weakened by her enchanting aura. However, such a thing was not to happen, for before the Young Emperor gave word to sound the third bell, his voice called out for me.
"That boy over there, bring him here," he said, pointing in my direction.
His guards escorted me to his throne, while his court regarded me with stern, judging eyes. A few of the court maidens whispered curiously to each other as if wondering what sort of mischief I’d done to warrant the Young Emperor's attention. He motioned for me to come, and cautiously, as I approached, he held up a golden fan, hiding both our faces as he whispered.
"The Emperor wishes to know your name," he said.
"My name is Terr, your imperial highness," I answered.
"Terr, you’ve seen the Emperor's true self, and now, the Emperor wishes to see yours."
The Young Emperor commanded Ai to step down. She bowed as she humbly conceded her place to both Kassashimei and I. There were some murmurs of doubt among the adults, for the honor of launching the Empire's divine air vessel had always been the charge of the most senior and skilled of us all. Though the request seemed unorthodox, no one questioned the Young Emperor's decision.
With great care, the Boar mounted my tamma on the pedestal while Ai seated Kassashimei on a small, raised platform behind me. The circle I stood upon was nothing more than a round, smooth wooden board that sat at the very edge of the bow, overlooking the ground below. I shivered in nervous anticipation as the only thing that protected me from slipping over the side was a small railing of metal posts and chains.
As I looked back at Kassashimei, I noticed that her eyes were avoiding me. She seemed haunted by something she was ashamed of, perhaps some feeling that arose during that evening we shared in the store room. I held my arm, displaying the prayer beads upon my wrist. I was certain that she would be pleased, that I had not forgotten the symbol of good fortune she’d given me. She nodded hesitantly before I turned my attention back towards the bow.
The Boar was standing to the side with an expression of such certainty, that I felt emboldened, and even started believing that both his and my confidence were the same. However, such feelings were short-lived, for when the third bell rang, I immediately felt such a sickening rush of anxiety, I was afraid my shaking legs would give out and I would fall to the ground like a sheared stalk of wheat.
Ai had already disappeared below decks, and seeing her gone so quickly, humbled what remained of my spirit. When I looked over my shoulder at the rest of the students behind me, I found them frozen like statues with brightly colored eyes glowing in anticipation, as my place of honor at the farthest tip of the ship, somehow justified my skills as being equal to Ai herself. My cheeks grew hot as I wondered what I should do next.
"Terr," Kassashimei said quietly. "It doesn‘t do us any good to show your fear."
I nodded, then shook the beads on my wrist as I faced the daunting sky.
"It would please the Young Emperor if you would take the ship to the air now," Dae Jung called out from across the way, his voice tinged with a bit of impatience.
I went through my motions, scanning my surroundings with my second sight as I formed an empty sphere around the ship, pressing back against the invisible ether. The ship responded with a heavy groan, as if waking from a deep slumber. I felt the entire weight of metal and wood beneath my feet slowly begin to loosen from the earth, and then teeter ever so slightly from side to side. Then all at once, the invisible bindings that kept us shackled to the ground were released and like paper to a gentle breeze, we floated skyward. We drifted lazily at first, hardly the height of the tallest reaches of a tree. The muffled bark of the steam engines hummed to life, and then, like a crane scaling the wind, the ground dropped away and we took to the waiting, distant clouds.
I was intensely proud.
Never had I launched a ship so smoothly. Like an artist confident in his brush strokes, my body moved in a way that I felt was natural and unhindered. The will of the ether seemed to bend at the slightest motions of my arms. Kassashimei was so in tune with my forms that I almost believed that she was reading my mind rather than my body.
Such perfection at first surprised me, then after a while, it began to worry me. It wasn‘t long before I came to realize the truth.
I was not the one moving the ship.
"I know it was you," I said to Ai as she gathered the children and I for training the next day.
Ai regarded me firmly, as if with her blind eyes, she could see the stern expression on my face. She then told Lai, whom she had made the senior of our group, to take everyone above deck and lead them in breathing and stretching exercises. After everyone had left, she took Kassashimei and I to the ritual room and politely asked
us to sit down on the wooden benches in the back near a peaceful looking monk who was supervising the two children on duty.
"You knew it was me?" she asked.
"I did," I answered. "The way the currents changed; the way the ether ebbed and flowed, it was too perfect. I know the flaws in Kassashimei's skills. I see them whenever we perform, whenever we’re on the sky boats. They weren’t there on the day we launched."
"Terr, what are you talking about?" Kassashimei asked.
"And you should have known Kass. Couldn't you see that you and I were not in control of the ship? How could you not have known?"
Surely she must have noticed, but all I saw was a face that was utterly clueless. Though she tried to hide it, her reddened cheeks and sullen eyes made her that much easier to read. Knowing that she was one to never back down from an accusation, I expected her to speak her mind, but after a short moment, and to my surprise, she turned her head away in defeated silence.
"I will give my life for the emperor," Ai said in a soft, but stern voice ."Can you say the same? Can you say that with sincerity, with every fiber of your heart and soul? You can’t can you? Until you can, until you are willing to die for the divine leaders of our nation, then you do not deserve the honors granted me. That is why I went below to this very ritual room yesterday and launched the ship myself. That is a task given to me by Dae Jung and no one else. You have only earned what I have granted you. Nothing more.
The Young Emperor does not yet know any better. He still has a few more years to grow and mature, before the burden of a nation can be placed on his shoulders. Until then, whatever the Young Emperor wishes of you will only be carried to the satisfaction of both Dae Jung and I."
"That Ai, such a pompous idiot," Kassashimei growled that evening in our quarters. "She pretends to be better than you, and you just stand there and take it."
"If I remember," I said, lying down on my futon. "You didn't say anything. You just stood there with that dumb, sad look on your face. Besides, the Young Emperor doesn't know what happened. The more I think about it, the more that I'm glad she launched the ship instead of us."
"I suppose you want her to spoon feed you too? Maybe hold your hand when we're on the main deck so you don't fall off?" Kassashimei sat up from her futon, rolling a small handful of beads in her hand. I suspected it was another one of her superstitious rituals.
"Of course not. I just don't want to make anyone angry. It is our duty to do whatever she and Dae Jung pleases."
She flung the beads in my face.
I sat up and glared at her, but she’d already laid herself down and turned her back towards me, all the while giving an accusing grunt.
"You're weak if you think that following the commands of self-centered people will make our lives any better."
Chapter 17
Sleep came easily for me on the Empire's divine airship. The whispered hum from the hull lulled me like the gentle patter of a rain shower. I was sleeping high above the world, and I wondered if there was any other place more fitting for me.
And yet, the only thing that drew me from such serenity, was the prickly annoyance of some insect crawling across my face. I swatted it away several times, but it wasn’t long before it stubbornly returned. I tried to ignore it as it tickled my cheeks and the tip of my nose, but after a while, I couldn’t stand it any longer and finally opened my eyes. To my surprise, I found it wasn’t an insect at all, but someone, who‘d teased me awake. I thought that it was Kassashimei up to her tricks again, but her dark form remained asleep in the bedding next to mine.
As my eyes adjusted, the blurry figure came into focus.
It was him. . . the Young Emperor himself.
His face was dimly lit from the lamps in the hallway, which also revealed two men at the door, both dressed in elaborate red garments and chest armor, the metallic glow of their spears rigid at their sides. He grinned in such a way that made me wonder if he’d been waiting for me to wake up for some time. As I sat up, he gave a quieting gesture, pressing his fingers against his lips, then beckoned me to follow him out the door.
Both he and I walked the main deck underneath a calm, dreary night sky. The clouds rushed by like plumes of gray cotton, blurred against a vibrant wind. The children who kept the ship aloft that night were certainly impressive, for even amidst the chaotic winds of the chilly northern air, their protective sphere imposed a serene stillness, undisturbed by nothing more than a whispered breeze. Like an invisible glass dome, the wind and the clouds parted seemingly unnoticed from the bow as the ship cut steadily through the sky.
Such an odd sight we were, the Young Emperor and I, still in our sleeping attire. But he hardly seemed to care.
"Did you know that I'm a good runner?" he said, then slapped the back of my shoulder baiting me to race him.
Before I could respond, he sprinted down the long, impressive length of the deck. I hesitated at first, then chased after him. I’d never imagined a ship large enough, that running along its deck would tire me after only going a third its length. Out of breath, I stumbled towards the Young Emperor who waited for me at the bow.
"I told you," he said triumphantly. "No one runs better than me.” He frowned at the two guards watching him from afar. “And you two don't need to worry about me. I don't have any matches on me this time, so I won‘t be setting anything on fire."
"Is that why they’re following you?" I asked, still panting.
"Dae Jung doesn't trust me anymore. It doesn’t matter though, because I don't trust him either. He's always spouting out nonsense about how things will surely get better and how our lives will be so much more prosperous on the main continent."
"If the emperor would forgive me for asking, but is that where we're going?"
He looked at me with wide eyes.
I paused and returned the same surprised expression, wondering if I‘d been too prudent with my questions. I considered apologizing, but he quickly interjected before I had a chance to speak.
"We’re not in front of Dae Jung nor the Imperial Court, so stop sounding so proper. I hate speaking in third person, and I know that you don't feel comfortable with being formal anymore than I do."
"My deepest apologies," I added. "Then how is it that I am to speak to the Young Emperor."
"See, there you go again. Stop it. Stop it this instance. My brothers and sisters call me Jiro. Now, repeat my name."
"Jiro."
"Good. Now don't ever say that name again, at least not in front of other people. If Dae Jung realizes that you know my real name, he’ll probably beat you. . . or worse. Our names are only known among my family and the court."
"Then why bother telling me?"
He crossed his arms as if I’d somehow insulted him. "I know your name. Why is it that you can't know mine? It seems only proper doesn't it?"
"Proper for commoners yes, but you're different from the rest of us-"
"I said stop it," he interrupted. "I will not hear another lecture, especially from you. You know my name now; so you must keep it a secret. And now that are in possession of a bit of forbidden knowledge, I consider you bound to me."
"Bound?"
"That’s right. Betray me, and I’ll tell Dae Jung that you forcefully pried my name from me and that you would deface the Imperial Family by sharing it with others."
He grunted as his face lit up with anticipation, as if he were finally freed from the long, stringent and disciplined hours of the day that had suppressed his growing need to let loose his defiant energy. He ran towards the railing and leaned over the side. Instinctively, the guards came rushing to his aid, but he leaned back, took a few steps backwards and gestured a playful taunt.
"They don't let me near the railing you see," he said. "The death of an emperor should happen peacefully, at the end of a long, fruitful life, not from a disgraceful fall from the side of a ship."
The guards remained silent, vigilant and unmoved by the Young Emperor's childish banter.
&nb
sp; Emboldened by his behavior, I asked, "why did you bring me out here?"
He proceeded to walk circles around me, inspecting me like some newly acquired horse ready to be trained.
"Because of all the people I have ever met," he answered, "you stand out the most. You have the face of a stranger; a stranger with silver eyes that makes you seem fierce and oddly funny at the same time. I'm not sure what to make of you, but I do know that you intrigue me.
When we met in the storeroom, I thought for a moment, that with the glow from those metallic eyes of yours, you were a dragon, peering from the flames. I feared that you’d come for me, that you were seeking to claim my life.
When I discovered that you were just a boy, same as me, I suspected that the fates, perhaps even the spirits delivered you to teach me something, maybe give me some sort of high and mighty revelation. Funny isn’t it? Still, there’s no denying fate. You came to me for a reason. So I ask you this; what could you possibly teach me?"
He stopped beside me, and took a deep, impatient breath as he waited for an answer.
"How could I even hope to teach the Young Emperor anything?" I said, ever wary of his presence.
He paused, silenced by either boredom or a compelling need to seek my help.
He then said, "my family, how are they? You said you saw them alive. Are they well?"
A surge of guilt burned deep within my belly. I tried to open my mouth to say something, but no words came out. The silence between us remained as our gazes drifted from each other. The uncomfortable moment refused to pass, beckoning me to either admit my lie, or spout out more nonsense. Any moment, I thought, he would raise his voice and press the question again, but when I finally found the courage to turn my eyes to him again, I noticed he was not annoyed or aggravated at all. He seemed strangely at peace.
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