Finally, he said, “You are planning on inviting me to join you at some point, yes?”
“Perhaps,” she said, loving the rush of power she felt.
“Then for God’s sake, tell me what to do.”
She paused. Here was the issue. Despite her long-ago marriage, Angelet lacked the experience to know exactly what to ask for. Her memories of nights with her husband had grown hazy. She remembered that he had tried to please her, but not how he’d done so.
Rafe must have sensed her indecision, because he said in a low voice, “I want to taste you. Please. However you like.”
She looked Rafe over, all six feet of him. “Kneel down,” she instructed.
He was on his knees instantly, and Angelet stepped up to him, now understanding exactly why some nobles always insisted on being seated higher than those they interacted with. She looked down at him and smiled. “This is better. You look a little less arrogant this way.”
“A little,” he agreed. His head came to just below her breasts. He moved his arms up, preparing to embrace her.
“No,” she told him shortly. “Hold still.”
He stopped, and looked up at her expectantly. Angelet put her hands on his shoulders, then moved her hands to the back of his head, tipping it so he had to look directly at her belly. “You may not use your hands.”
He froze. “Then how would you have me touch you?”
“You said you wanted to taste me. Use your mouth.”
He leaned in to obey her.
At the touch of his tongue on her skin, Angelet felt a fire start inside her body.
Rafe kissed and licked his way across her flesh, and it seemed he really intended to cover every inch of her that he could reach in his position. He knelt so far as to kiss the tops of her feet, then worked his way up her legs, easing her knees apart, and then going until he reached her inner thigh. He continued, without any hesitation, his tongue invading places on her body she would never dream of ordering a man to touch.
But he touched her there without even asking, and before she could get over the shock of what he was doing, her body reacted, revealing just how effective his touch was.
Her knees buckled, and just as she wobbled on her feet, his hands clasped her hips, steadying her. She gasped out loud, and he froze.
“You might have fallen,” he said quickly. He released her, probably wondering if she would declare an end to the whole endeavor.
She put her hands on his shoulders, restoring her balance. “How did you know I would like that?”
He glanced up at her, his lips curving into an easy smile. “You’re a woman. I know women.”
“Stand up,” she murmured.
He did instantly, so he once again towered over her.
Angelet laid the flat of her hand on his chest and pushed him back. “Go to the bed.”
“At last. Come with me.” He held out a hand and gave her a look that struck her as a little too triumphant.
She crossed her arms. “That sounded like an order.”
“Not meant to be,” Rafe said quickly. “More of an invitation. But you’re in charge.”
“How lovely,” she said. “Go to the bed and lie down. On your back.”
“Yes, my lady.” He didn’t exactly mock her as he made his way to the bed, but Angelet sensed his confidence. He thought she’d slide right next to him and put herself in his hands. He was wrong.
She padded across the floor to the bed, climbing onto the mattress next to Rafe. He watched her with intense interest, but knew enough to not reach out to her without permission.
Every time she’d lain with her husband, Angelet had been beneath him, pressed into the bed, watching as he took her and then lost himself in desire. She’d rarely felt the same ecstasy at the end, and decided that perhaps being above was what mattered. Strange how the old thoughts, long forgotten, suddenly returned.
Now with a seemingly obedient Rafe in her bed, Angelet wanted to know how it felt to be the one on top. She positioned herself over him, sliding one leg over his body so that she was straddled across his hips, his erection just between her legs.
Rafe’s eyes lit up. “Tell me what you need.”
Angelet surveyed the man under her. She put her hands on him, sliding over his stomach. “It’s probably shameful to admit,” she said, “but when you fought Dobson that one night, I couldn’t stop looking at you. Even in the midst of all that chaos, the sight of you half-naked was nearly all I can remember.”
“Well, if it distracted you from being terrorized by the fact that someone was trying to kill you, that’s something.”
“You’re always so flippant,” she criticized.
“Not always. Please notice how very sincerely I’m following your orders, my lady.”
She slid her hands along his arms from his shoulders to his wrists, drawing them up above his head. Rafe knew exactly what she was doing, of course, but he didn’t object.
“You can’t touch me,” she instructed.
“Your loss,” he returned easily, even as he stretched out his arms to keep his hands well out of danger.
“My choice,” she corrected him.
She kissed him then, over and over, her mouth tasting him freely as she explored his body. He was a pleasure to touch, and even to tease, such as when she ran her hand over his erection and heard his breath change in response. She ached to know exactly how he’d feel inside her.
But though she knew what she should do next, she hesitated. Flashes of remembered awkwardness and pain came to her. What if she was no longer made for a man?
“Angelet, let me show you what to do.”
She turned her head aside, hating that Rafe had seen the weakness in her, the lack of decision.
“Just for a moment?” he pleaded. “To serve you.”
At her nod, he took hold of her hips and eased himself into her body. She gasped in surprise at first, almost regretting her agreement to spend the night with him. What had she been thinking? He was large and she hadn’t been with any man for so long. She moaned as he entered her, and heard the sound echoed by Rafe, who closed his eyes and looked almost as if he’d been struck.
“Damn, you’re so…”
“I’m what?” she asked fearfully.
“Perfect.”
“Oh.”
“Take your time, love,” he said. “Sit up if you like. Shift till you feel me the way you want to.”
She took his advice. She kept her eyes closed and began to rock her hips slowly against his.
“You’re no novice to this. Did you do it this way before?” he asked.
“I don’t remember,” she lied. “And get your hands back by your head.”
He obeyed, laughing. But his laughter soon died as Angelet leaned back and rocked her hips, reveling in the sheer virility of the man she’d claimed as her own, if only for tonight.
She loved being above him, feeling him inside her while she could control the pace and intensity of their lovemaking. Every movement made her shiver with delight, as little waves of pleasure swept through her, building slowly into something much more momentous.
Beneath her, Rafe was alternately enjoying what she did to him, and growing frustrated with the restrictions she’d set. His arms remained above his head, but it was a chore to keep them there, to judge by how tight his muscles were as he strained to hold still.
“Please let me touch you,” he begged. “Angelet, you’ve got no idea how it hurts to look at you and not be able to touch you.”
She paused. “I know exactly how it feels to see something and know I’ll never attain it.”
“Not like this,” he said, his breath ragged. “You’re so close, and so gorgeous.”
“Rafe,” she reminded him, “you’re inside of me.”
“But I want to touch you with my hands too.”
She tapped the moonstone necklace. “Remember what you begged for already. Isn’t it enough? Don’t you like looking at me?”
He nodded, his eyes raking over her in a way that made her shy all over again.
“You can touch me with your hands next time,” Angelet said, “if you continue to obey me this time. Understood?”
“Perfectly.”
“Good.” She lifted her body up once more, drawing out the exquisite sensation of his flesh sliding along hers.
After a few moments of that, Rafe asked in a strangled tone, “Jesu, just end this, Angelet! You’re going to destroy me with all your teasing. Why are you doing this?”
“Because it feels good,” she breathed, her eyes still closed. “If you want to end it, just disobey me,” she whispered.
“No.” His voice became softer. “If you like it, then that’s all that matters.”
“You’re stronger than I thought,” Angelet confessed.
“Not stronger. Just more desperate.”
“Why desperate?” she asked.
Just as she uttered the word, all the pleasure building within her suddenly burst out, and she gave a little cry of surprise and relief. Her hands flattened out on Rafe’s chest as she leaned over him. She whimpered a little, lost in the deep thrumming pulse rippling through her limbs. She didn’t know how she ended up pressed against Rafe’s body, but she knew he was just as lost as she was. He’d stiffened as he came, then murmured her name, his lips at her ears. She couldn’t move and didn’t want to. She felt so warm and pleased, and she only wanted to be cradled close as she slid into oblivion.
Rafe’s breathing slowed along with hers. His fingers swept her hair aside as he fumbled at the back of her neck. The weight of the moonstones suddenly disappeared. Rafe put the necklace away somewhere—she couldn’t care less where. Then his hands were at her hips, drawing her off him.
She gasped as he did that, feeling a last, unexpected shock of pleasure as he slipped out of her. Then she was lying next to him, her head on his shoulder, burying her face in the crook of his neck. She inhaled, smelling sweat and salt, the raw scent of her single subject.
“Rafe, I order you to…” She closed her eyes before she could complete the thought…hold me. She dreamed the words she was too far gone to speak.
Chapter 17
Rafe saw Angelet’s eyes close as she nestled into place alongside him. She wore a beatific smile, and he felt a jolt of satisfaction, thinking he’d been the one to put that smile on her face.
Well, partly. In fact, Angelet had done quite a lot of the work all on her own, taking control of him in such an unexpected way that he honestly didn’t know what to think. He’d never had an encounter like that before. And he never would have suspected that the outwardly mild Angelet would be the sort of woman who could dominate a bedroom. Or him. But she did, with her tantalizing rules and restrictions. Right at the end, he lost it and broke the rule about not touching her. He couldn’t stop himself—he had to hold her while she was coming undone above him, triggering his own climax. Rafe wasn’t even sure she had noticed his hands on her body, on her hips as he spilled inside her.
Christ, he hadn’t intended to do that. As if he needed another complication in his already complicated life. Angelet had completely derailed his better intentions, and now there was a chance she’d have to pay for his failure.
Just one more person you hurt.
The thought soured his soul, displacing all the good feelings Angelet had just given him. Damn. Every time he thought he’d changed, he discovered he was the same heartless bastard he’d always been.
He’d have to get her somewhere safe as soon as possible, then get the hell away from her for her own good. And despite her seductive promise that next time he could touch her, Rafe knew that he’d already gone too far. He’d treated her as a woman, but Angelet was a lady. And despite what just happened between them, she was not his lady.
After a moment, he said, “I’ll take you to Wareham, and across to France, if we can find passage.”
Angelet’s eyes flew open. “What?”
“I said I’ll take you to Wareham.”
She gasped and tried to pull away. “I didn’t do this just to get you to agree to take me home!” But the way she looked made him suspicious.
“Wait. Did you agree to this because you thought I’d not take you home otherwise?” Rafe didn’t like the idea that she thought he could be tricked like that.
“No! Not quite.”
“Not quite?”
“It crossed my mind,” Angelet whispered. “And you didn’t say you’d take me before…this.”
“I didn’t say anything before because before all I could think about was you.”
“And now I’m off your mind?” She moved to get up.
“Stay, lovely.” He reached out to her, stopping her from scrambling off the bed. “You know that’s not true. And it’s not why I’m agreeing to take you.”
“It isn’t?” she asked, with narrowed eyes. But she remained on the bed, now sitting up to face him, her long hair drawn over one shoulder to partially cover her chest. She seemed remarkably comfortable in her nakedness.
“No.” Rafe struggled to explain what he assumed she would be overjoyed to hear. “The truth is that I’ve tried to think of any other safe place for you…and I can’t. You have a family, so you should be with them. I don’t care about the war, and I don’t care if it helps one side or hurts another. I’ve got no side. Not anymore.”
“But you once had a side,” she said, still not fully convinced. Lord, what was her objection? She was the one who offered to pay him to take her home!
“I served a lord who swore for King Stephen,” Rafe admitted. “So naturally I fought on Stephen’s side in the battles.”
“What changed?”
“I left that lord’s service.” He kept his voice cool. That was not a subject he wanted to discuss. “Since then, I’ve only fought for myself. And I only take orders when it suits me.”
“It suited you tonight?” Angelet asked, in a different voice.
He smiled at her. “Oh, yes. Even though it was not what I was expecting.”
“Was I too demanding?”
“You were perfect. And I think you enjoyed giving your demands.”
She looked thoughtful, then said, slowly, “Yes…but I wouldn’t want it to always be like that. Being in command is rather nerve-wracking.”
“Oh, that’s what was wracking your nerves?” He leaned forward and kissed her.
She kissed him back, her good humor evidently restored. “You know what I mean.”
“I do,” he agreed. “Honestly, I never did well with command. Even a few troops in a battle, scarcely enough for a squad…it was too much responsibility for me. My life now is much easier. No one expects anything from a free lance, bastard knight. I can do what I like. Feeding, fighting, and fucking.”
“You’ve never spoken so crudely before,” she said, though she didn't sound offended. What an unusual lady.
“You’re seeing my true nature,” Rafe said, imagining how fast she’d turn from him if she ever learned the whole truth about his unpleasant nature.
“Am I?” Angelet asked, unaware of his darker thoughts. “Or are you trying to convince me of that? That all you care about is feeding, fighting, and fucking?” The last word sounded strange in her soft voice.
“It is all I care about,” he insisted, remembering his mistake from earlier. “Though as for the fucking, I usually avoid the part where I make another bastard of my own. I suppose I can tell the child it was done on your orders, not that it absolves me in the least.”
She went still. “The child?”
“You do realize there’s a possibility you’ll bear our child.”
“No. You’ve no need to worry on that count. Not with me.” She sounded so certain, so clear that it snapped Rafe from his own turmoil.
“Why not? After all…”
“I cannot have another child.” She said it very quietly, without much emotion.
“Another?” Rafe heard the pain beneath her voice. “You had a
child?”
“Yes. I was fourteen, less than a year married, and less than a month till I was to be a widow. The delivery was difficult.” She shook her head. Though she still sat up, her back straight, she now trembled a little. “I say difficult…it was devastating. I don’t remember much, praise Mary. But I am told that my son and I both nearly died. It was a hard labor, and my body not the right size for bearing. I bled and bled, even after the midwife got the baby free of me. He was blue, they said. Almost too long without air to breathe. Thank God he lived. My only child, and the only reason I was worth anything to Lord Otto. So long as I nursed the babe, Otto knew I was necessary. My baby would not take milk from any other woman, no matter how they tried to find one.”
“But who said you could never have another child?” Rafe asked.
“The midwife. She said I was lucky to have survived, and that never again would I ever even get with child, let alone bear it to term.”
“How could she know that?”
“The herbs she used to quell the bleeding. She said she’s used them before, and barrenness is the price. I lived to nurse Henry, but I would never be a mother again.” Angelet choked out the last words, her unnatural calm finally collapsing as she shared something he knew she’d kept secret for a very long time.
He reached for her, and she all but jumped into his arms. A little while ago, she’d been a confident, sensual woman, and now she was in tears, shaking with emotion and as fragile as he first assumed her to be.
He wasn’t good with crying women. He had no idea what to say or do. But it seemed natural to hold her until she’d cried herself out. The way she clung to him suggested that she needed support from someone, and he was the only available option. Poor Angelet.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered then. “I don’t mean to sob all over you. You’d think I’d be reconciled to it by now, but…”
A fresh bout of tears cut her words off, and Rafe just held her closer. “It’s nothing,” he said. Inane, but what could he say? That he didn’t mind her crying?
“I don’t mind,” he said out loud, realizing it was true. “No one is happy all the time.”
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