by Wendy Smith
“How about we just take a minute before I take you out? I get you all to myself.” I hold her tight and breathe in that baby smell she has. Lily was wary of us in the early days with Max, and it took time to gain her trust. With Rose, we’ve all been there from the start. I don’t know if I’ll ever have my own children, and that makes these times with my niece and nephew are so special.
“Do you need a bum change?” I feel her nappy, widening my eyes. “Oh, yes you do.”
She giggles as I plant her on the change table and reach for a nappy.
“I’m going to take you out to meet Ginny. She’s going to love you to bits. I’m going to tell you a secret.” I lean over. “I really like her.”
“Mum mum,” Rose says.
“You’ll see her in a minute too.”
I pull the drenched nappy off and use a wipe before wrapping the clean one around her. Placing the dirty one in the nappy bin, I pick Rose up. “Let me wash my hands and we’ll go outside.”
We head to the bathroom, and I place her on the floor while I wash my hands. Scooping her into my arms, I carry her out to the deck. Lily’s standing beside Adam at the barbecue, and Rose squeals in my ear.
“Yeah, there’s Mum.”
Ginny’s still having a conversation with Corey, and jealousy rages through me. It’s stupid. She looks like she’s being polite, and Corey’s still hungover and looking like shit. But something he says makes her laugh, and when she throws her head back, it’s the most glorious thing I think I’ve ever seen. There’s nothing fake about her. She’s beautiful.
I catch her gaze, and she gives me a shy look before returning her attention to Corey.
“Bro.” Corey grins. “And you’ve got my girl?” He reaches for Rose, and she holds out her arms in response. I hate handing her over, but I do.
“What did happen to you last night?”
He shrugs. “Nothing I’m going to tell you about.”
“Maybe you were too drunk to perform.” I laugh as he takes a swipe at me, dodging out of the way.
“Corey was telling me a story about you when you were younger.” Ginny grins.
I take a seat beside her. “Is that right?”
Corey chuckles. “Yeah. Remember when we were play-fighting, and we broke the coffee table in the lounge?”
“And we decided to glue it back together and not tell anyone?”
He nods. “That’s the one. Worked a treat until Mum decided to eat dinner in front of the television and placed more than a coffee cup on the table.”
I laugh, now knowing what Ginny had reacted to. “What a mess. I just remember meatballs rolling under the couch from the spaghetti.”
“We were scrubbing the carpet for hours.”
Ginny touches my arm. “It sounds like you guys were real terrors.” Her eyes shine with happiness, and my heart swells.
“There were five boys in our family. That was a recipe for disaster.” I feel more settled now I’m by her side again, and I can’t explain it.
It confuses me.
By two, I’m yawning my head off. If I don’t go home now, I’ll be asleep.
“Are we keeping you up?” Corey asks.
“Something like that. I should get going.”
Standing, I walk to Lily’s chair. She smiles as I bend to kiss her on the cheek. “Thanks for lunch.”
“You’re welcome.” She beckons me closer. “So, you and Ginny?”
“I repeat. You told me not to go there.”
“And I told you that you two look good together. Maybe you should.” She frowns. “But I still think you’ll hurt her. Maybe not intentionally.”
“Maybe I’m better than that.”
Her eyes search mine, and she gives me a smile. “I know you are. You’re a good man, Owen. You just have to reach a point in your life when you’re ready. And maybe you just need to meet the right woman.”
“What would any of us do without you, oh wise one?” I grin, straightening up.
She slaps my leg. “Smart arse.”
“You know it. Catch you later.”
Ginny’s talking to Adam, and as I approach he nods and walks toward me. “I’m just going to grab another beer. Want one?”
I shake my head. “No. I’m getting out of here.”
“See you.” He heads toward the house, leaving me with Ginny.
“Are you leaving?” she asks.
I run my fingers through my hair. “Yeah. I think I need to try and get some sleep. After last night, I’m still tired.”
“Oh.” She tries to hide her disappointment, but not well enough. It makes me smile.
“Thank you for everything.”
Ginny shakes her head. “It’s no problem.”
I want to ask her out, but Lily’s words echo in my head. She’s right. There’s a chance I’ll hurt Ginny if I pursue this, and I don’t know if I’m in the headspace after Cara’s death to deal with anything heavy.
I’ll do the mature thing for once and hope she’s available when I’m ready.
“See you around?”
She nods. “Sure thing.”
When I get to my car, I turn to look back at her. She gives me a wistful smile and walks toward Lily.
Time to go.
5
Owen
I have two concurrent thoughts running in my head that stop me from sleeping.
One is about Cara. It’s the funeral today, and I think there’ll be quite a lot of people there. When it became clear that neither her or Ryan had their shit together, the community raised the money for the funeral in record time. I can only hope that social worker has the decency to bring Ava. That little girl needs to be able to say goodbye to her parents.
For my part, I offered to do the catering for free. What’s an extra hour of baking for the day when you have insomnia?
But that’s not the only thing on my mind.
Green eyes give me comfort. Maybe even hope. Ginny’s gorgeous with a sweet smile, and long auburn hair.
But it’s her sweetness that draws me in, the way she blushes when I look at her. I’ve been with a lot of women in my life, and usually they’re as brazen as I am. Ginny’s not like that, and it intrigues me.
Although, it could also be that with Adam and Drew settled, I’m a bit restless. If things are working well for them, is it time to find the right person and sort my shit out?
Who knows?
In the meantime, I’ll be focusing on the food for the funeral. I’ll even make some of my famous gingerbread men just in case Ava’s there.
Mel leaves me alone while I’m baking. Usually we’re in there together, but she knows how hard today will be on me.
I’d be lost without her. My last apprentice moved away halfway through his training, and Mel showed up, wanting a job and eager to learn. She’s also one of the best friends I have. It’s like being married but without all the crap that goes with it. Besides, she’s married to Trish, and there’s no risk of us screwing up our friendship by sleeping with each other.
“It’s nearly time,” Mel says gently, and I nod. The food’s all boxed up, and I just need to transfer it to the car.
We work in silence, and I smile as we load the last box. “Are you sure you don’t want to come? We can just close the bakery for a bit. No one will care.”
She shakes her head. “It’s okay. I’ll hold the fort.”
“You’re amazing.”
“You should give me a pay rise then.”
“Maybe I’ll get off my arse and employ someone to help you instead.”
She laughs. “That’ll do.”
“Thanks for your help, Mel. I really appreciate it.”
Mel pats me on the back. “No problem. I know how important this is to you.”
“See you later.”
I climb into the car and drive the short distance to the funeral parlour. There’s a reception room next to the chapel, and I carry the boxes of food in and set it all up on the table. I can hear cars pulling into the car pa
rk, and I pause to take a deep breath. This is it. Goodbye Cara.
I walk back out and into the gathering crowd.
There’s no sign of Ava, and I hunt for Graham Taylor. He’s standing by himself, looking up at the sky as if he’s wishing he was anywhere but here.
“Graham.”
He shifts his focus to me and smiles. “Owen.”
“Where’s Ava?”
Frowning, he shrugs. “I called Marie and left her several messages. Fucking hopeless, if you ask me. Of all the people who should be here, that little girl should be.”
“Agreed.”
For a few minutes, I wait and watch the entrance to the car park. More cars arrive, this is going to be a big funeral, but there’s still no sign of a small blonde girl who’s the most important mourner. Does Ava even really know what’s going on?
People are already filing into the chapel, and I join them. There are still plenty of seats, and I find a row near the back that’s unoccupied. Sitting gives me a minute to try and clear my thoughts, but my heart breaks at the sight of the two coffins, side by side.
This is so unfair.
Neither Cara nor Ryan ever did anything to hurt anyone other than each other. Although he suspected, he never caught us, and our fling didn’t last long. She was the only married woman I ever got involved with, and he was being a real dick to her at the time. I saw it myself.
Somehow, they worked things out, and I’d vowed never to be with a married woman again.
For a couple who don’t appear to have anyone else, it’s a big turn-out. I look across the room toward the door and meet the eyes that have haunted my thoughts.
Ginny scans the crowd, as if she’s looking to see if she recognises anyone. She might not shop at my bakery, but chances are she shopped at the butcher. Unless she’s a vegetarian, as well as not stomaching gluten.
I raise my hand and wave, and a small smile appears on her face. She seems to take a deep breath, and walks toward me.
“Hey.”
“Hi, Owen.” She takes a seat by my side.
“How’s it going?”
She shrugs. “I didn’t know Cara and Ryan well, but I used to see one of them at the butchery every week. They seemed so nice. I’m heartbroken for their little girl.”
I nod. “Me too. They were good people, and Ava didn’t deserve this.”
“Where is she?”
I bristle, and she reaches for my hand before breaking into a blush. “She got taken by a social worker to stay with a family out of town. I thought she would have been here. The cops are trying to get hold of the social worker to make sure she’s coming.”
Ginny’s mouth falls open. “You’re kidding. The service is about to start. How awful.”
I squeeze her hand. “I’m glad you’re here. And that you’re holding my hand again.”
She laughs, but doesn’t let go. “I might need some support. Funerals are bad enough without it being a young couple like this.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”
“A lot of the staff wanted to come. So the deputy principal has the students in the hall for a movie until home-time. I guess that’s what happens in a tight community like this.”
She moves even closer when she spots Nathan Webster in the doorway. He’s the principal of the local primary school, and that makes him Ginny’s boss. When he sees her, he smiles, and heads straight in our direction, sitting next to us.
Ginny’s so close I can smell her scent. It’s earthy and faint. She consumes my senses, and just like that, I’m getting hard at a funeral.
“Owen.” He nods, and his gaze shifts to Ginny’s hand in mine. I tighten my grip and hope it gives her some reassurance. He clearly makes her uncomfortable, given how clammy her palm has become.
“Nathan. I hear you let your staff attend the funeral. That’s awesome.”
“It’s the least I can do. Cara and Ryan were part of so many people’s lives.” He’s still focused on Ginny’s hand. We’re the only three people sitting in this row, and part of me wants to tell him to fuck off.
“Bro.” Adam arrives, breaking the tension.
“Hey, man. Come and sit with us.” I move over as far as I can, and pull Ginny with me to leave a gap between her and Nathan. Thankfully, Adam seems to take the hint and makes his way past Nathan to sit between them.
“Ginny. How’s it going?” Adam gives her a warm smile, and as his eyes catch our hands clasped, his brows pop up.
“Good. How’s Max doing?”
He grins. “Really well, thanks to you. He’s settled in at school, and his teacher is pretty good. But I think you prepared him, and he’s benefitting from that.”
“That’s brilliant.”
The remainder of the seats fill, and the doors close. I look around. Still no Ava.
“Are you kidding me?” I mutter.
Ginny turns to me, her eyes full of sadness. She doesn’t even need to ask what I’m talking about. She just seems to know. “It’s not fair,” she says. “Ava should be here.”
“This is ridiculous.”
The minister steps up to start the service when a door opens. Ava stands in the doorway with big eyes, looking around at the crowd. A tall, dark-haired woman stands beside her, and leads her to a seat at the front.
I let out a breath for the first time in what feels like forever. Now everything is as right as it can be, at a time like this.
The service begins.
It’s tough.
So many people cry their way through it. Cara and Ryan were a couple in the prime of their lives.
From where I sit, I can see Ava gets upset during the service, and the woman she’s with pulls her into her arms and hugs her.
It leaves me wanting to comfort her, too.
Somehow I get through it. It helps that Ginny still sits beside me, holding my hand. She must feel me shaking at times, struggling to deal with the farewell of a woman I cared for. I’m not as shallow as some people think I am, and I do care about the women I’ve been involved with. But I’m no good at sticking around.
Lily’s warning rings in my ears, but I can’t help wanting something with Ginny. I just don’t know what yet.
The fresh air outside is a welcome greeting as I step into the sunshine.
“Are you okay?” Ginny asks, her expression full of sympathy.
“Not really.” I sigh. “But I’ll survive. Thank you for what you did in there.”
A smile spreads across her face. “It was nothing. You obviously needed the support.”
“I did, and I’m grateful.”
Her gaze shifts. “Look. There’s Ava.”
“Good. I’ve got something for her.”
I jog toward her. She’s being led away by the woman who brought her. They’re not even staying for something to eat.
Irritation burns in my chest. “Ava.”
The woman stops. Ava turns, giving me a timid smile.
“I’m Jackie. Ava’s staying with me at the moment.” The woman thrusts her hand toward me, and I give it a firm shake.
“Owen.” I bend down, taking a small package from my jacket pocket. “Here you go, sweetheart. I brought these just for you.” I hand Ava the gingerbread men wrapped in cling-film, and she smiles as she takes them from me.
Jackie reaches down and takes them away. Ava’s lower lip wobbles. “Thank you, but we don’t eat sugary things in our house.”
“She’s four, and this is her parents’ funeral. Surely she can have a treat?”
“If I let her have this, the other kids will want one.”
My anger building, I draw myself up to my full height. “Then I’ll give you enough for however many children you need.”
She shakes her head and shoves the small package back at me. “No thanks. We don’t need it.”
Ava looks back over her shoulder as they walk away. Ginny arrives at my side, and nudges my arm. “What was that all about?”
“Ava’s not allowed the ba
king I made her.”
“What?”
“The family she’s with doesn’t eat things like this.”
Ginny rolls her eyes. “Leave it to me.”
She takes the gingerbread and runs after Ava. “Hey, Ava. Can I please say goodbye? I’m a friend of your mum.”
I know my eyebrows are arching more than normal as Ginny squats and hugs Ava tight. Slipping the package between her soft toy and her body, Ginny whispers something in Ava’s ear. Ava lights up, and lets Ginny hug her.
Ginny skips back to me. “Sorted.”
“What did you say to her?”
“That it was our secret. She has to hide it and not let anyone see it.”
I laugh. “You’re sneaky, Miss Robinson.”
She shrugs. “Ava’s been through enough.”
If I didn’t like her a lot before, I like her a lot now.
Ginny Robinson might just be perfect.
I stay until I can’t stomach any more.
“Want to come back to my place? Given that you don’t have to go back to work.”
Ginny nods. “Sure. Something tells me you need someone to keep an eye on you. I know today’s been tough.”
“It really has been.”
By the time we reach the bakery, my joy at our little rebellion has dissipated, and the sadness at Cara’s passing returns.
“How was the funeral?” Mel asks as I walk in the front door.
“Sad. Big turnout, though. Can you do me a favour?”
“You want me to take care of the shop for the afternoon?”
I press my hands together. “If you could?”
“Knowing what I know, I figured you’d need some time afterward to get yourself together.” Ginny walks in the door, and Mel smiles. “Got some company, too?”
“Something like that.”
“Good for you. Just don’t make too much noise, it’s bad for business.”
I shake my head at her as I guide Ginny out the back of the shop, through the kitchen and into my flat.
“Your place is so convenient for work.”
I nod. “It’s handy when you have to go to work at four in the morning.”
“Really?” She looks around the living room. It’s nothing too flashy, but it’s cosy, and I have all the essentials. Comfortable leather lounge suite, big-screen TV. The important things.