by Nancy Barone
‘Bye, Mummy, I’ll miss you,’ Zoe said, throwing her arms around her.
‘Don’t forget to bring back pressies,’ Amy reminded her as Yolanda pulled them into her arms and sniffed. Every time, and never a tear. She was much better at cooking than acting.
‘Be good, do your homework and listen to Auntie Nat, okay?’ she said. And then she got to her feet, scooped up her bag and headed down the hall.
‘Any special instructions?’ I asked from the front door as she was getting into her Merc.
She flung her hair to the opposite shoulder as she got in and flashed me a smile.
‘The usual. For anything else, I trust you completely.’ Which, coming from her, Mrs Know-It-All, was an enormous compliment.
She popped back up and called to me over the bonnet. ‘By the way, your magazine wants to interview me.’
‘Oh? Right.’ How could I not know about this? And why hadn’t I been asked to interview her? I was a monthly contributor after all, and she was my sister. Who better than me for the job?
After Yolanda sped off, I closed the front door and went upstairs to supervise the girls while they put their stuff away into their room. I made a note to call Hilary, our editor-in-chief. It was very odd indeed that she hadn’t already called me to do it.
With an inward sigh, I watched as Zoe carefully folded her things while Amy shoved everything into the drawers. That girl would be the death of someone one day. She didn’t have a drop of organisational skills in her. How to slowly teach her some despite herself? And then I got an idea.
‘Amy, darling,’ I cooed. ‘We’re going to play a game now.’
‘What game?’ she asked, her face lighting with interest.
‘The Speed Game.’ Amy loved anything fast and exuberant, and she had absolutely no patience whatsoever. She always spoke her mind without thinking of the consequences. Remind you of anyone? ‘I’m listening,’ she answered while pulling out a packet of crisps from her schoolbag.
‘You’re not eating those in here,’ Zoe cried, her pleading eyes swinging to mine for help.
‘Amy, you know it’s against house rules to eat in the bedroom.’
Amy stared at her, then at me, chewing slowly, just to annoy me, but she didn’t dare take another one out of the bag.
‘So what’s this Speed Game, then?’ she prompted me.
I smiled. ‘I call an item – say, “blue T-shirt”, and you both have to rush to your drawers, and the first one to show me the item, wins.’
Amy’s face fell. ‘That’s it? And what do we win?’
Oh, Jesus. ‘A trip to… to… it’s a secret for now. Ready?’
Zoe clapped her hands, back into the groove of being with me and much happier now, while Amy rolled her eyes, but moved into position, ready to sprint. She was highly competitive, and used to winning. Just like her mummy.
‘I want you girls to bring me your… PE kit!’
And the drawers were yanked open, Amy burrowing like mad, leaving a pile of clothes as high as herself, whereas Zoe plucked it out of a neatly folded stack in her second drawer, along with her sports socks.
‘Well done, Zoe!’ I clapped, hugging her and kissing the top of her head.
Amy turned to stare at her with a raised eyebrow, and kicked the bundle under her bed, leaving the room with a slam of the door.
‘Amy?’ I called after her. ‘Sweetheart?’
‘I want to be alone now!’ she called back.
I sighed. That was Amy for you. She’d come back when she was ready.
Who said this was going to be easy? And with Yolanda gone for a month or more, I guessed all my summer plans were more than on hold now. Good thing I still had rooms to let if I decided to rent another one out, I consoled myself as I went to answer the front door.
It was Sarah, my nineteen-year-old.
‘Oh, Mum!’ she sobbed the moment I opened the door.
‘Sarah? What is it, sweetheart?’
‘I’ve left Sam…’
I wrapped my arms around her and led her to the kitchen, her favourite room while she was growing up.
‘Sit down and tell me what’s happened,’ I urged. ‘Why?’
She sighed and reached for a napkin to blow her nose. ‘You know why. Or at least you can guess.’
‘The gambling.’ Sam always had a soft spot for taking chances, and not only with money.
Sarah wiped her eyes and looked up at me. ‘I was sick and tired of him spending all the money I made. And last night, he gambled our rent money and lost it. The landlord’s kicked us out.’
I stared at her. She was watching me, waiting for me to gasp in indignation, but I couldn’t. Because I couldn’t believe my ears.
‘That was our flat, Mum! Where we were supposed to live together.’
Oh. My. God. I took her hand, and she hung on to mine like a lifeline.
‘So after I read him the riot act, I packed my bags and checked into a hotel…’
‘Oh, darling, you should’ve come here straight away.’
She shrugged. ‘It was late, I didn’t want to alarm you. And that’s not all of it. He’s completely cleaned out our savings account. As of today, I haven’t got a pound to my name. Oh, no, wait,’ she said, laughing and reaching into her wallet and unfolding an old pound note she always kept for good luck. ‘I’ve got this. Fat lot of good it’ll do me as it’s not even legal tender anymore.’
‘Hang on to it. It might be worth tons one day,’ I said. Not that the same could ever be said of Sam, but, unlike my own mum, I kept my opinions to myself. Besides, what else could I say? I was still in shock.
‘And in my haste to get out, I left most of my clothes there.’
‘We can always go and fetch them. I’ll come with you.’
‘Thanks, Mum. And the worst thing is that some of the utilities are still in my name.’
I sat up. ‘You need to sort that out today, love,’ I said.
‘I guess I’ll have to organise the life I’d planned without him now.’
Welcome to the club, was the first thing that came to mind.
I stood up. ‘You make those calls now while I go to the car and get your bags.’
‘Thanks, Mum, I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
‘I’m here for you, love.’
She wiped her eyes and looked upwards as a crash ripped through the house. ‘Jesus, is that the twins again?’ she said.
‘Sarah, you know how important they are to us.’
‘Oh, Mum, I love them to bits – you know that. But does their own mother? That’s the fourth time since Easter that you’ve had them.’
I shrugged. ‘As a family, we need to stick together.’
She snorted. ‘But you’re doing all the together, while Aunt Yola does all the sticking. God, I’m so glad my own sister is not like yours.’
So was I, truth be told. I had made sure that my mothering was the opposite of my own mother’s.
‘Have you heard from Lizzie, by the way?’ I asked. ‘Do you know if she can make it for dinner tomorrow night?’ By that time I’d have had enough time to prep my girls for the news of my new lodger.
‘Yes, we were supposed to come down by car together, the four of us.’ She sighed. ‘But I’m already here.’
And she would be for as long as it would take to bounce back. ‘Make those calls, sweetheart. Together we’ll sort you out in no time.’
Her room was just the way she’d left it, with pictures of herself, friends and family and Sam practically all over every wall. When she left it she was Mummy’s daughter, full of dreams of love.
That had been Sarah’s world until last night, and now she’d been introduced to the nitty-gritty reality of relationships, and that not all of them lasted forever. And that if they weren’t worth hanging on to, you might as well cut your losses and leave while you were still young. And now she was a broken young woman who had known the humiliation of not being loved in return despite having given herself completely to someone wh
o didn’t appreciate her.
That’s what most women did. We gave men everything we had – our time, our work, our smiles, our patience, our last drop of energy and our courage and optimism for them to lean on. And they just took without giving anything back.
I wished I had followed my own advice. I should have kicked Neil out at the first signs of his overbearing temperament, or the first time he’d embarrassed me in front of his colleagues during a dinner we were hosting by saying that my Beef Wellington (which is a real bitch to make at the best of times) was too dry and that he would have been better off marrying the sister who could actually cook. As if she’d ever have him. I remember the dining room temperature suddenly dropping to an embarrassed zero degrees, and my smile freezing on my face while sudden coughs had filled the room.
It was safe to say that Neil didn’t need anyone else to make him look bad. He did that very well all by himself. And now, thankfully, that part of my life was over. I was actually glad that he’d shacked up with that Helen. That meant there was no risk of him ever coming back. Not that he would. There was nothing between us anymore, and we had practically been living like brother and sister, with little love lost between us.
‘Auntie Nat!’ the girls called. ‘Come!’
I raced to where they had assembled a game of giant Jenga and we played for about an hour. After that we had a nice meal of spaghetti and meatballs accompanied by a fresh garden salad. For dessert, we had the twins’ favourite ice cream, and the four of us hunkered down onto the sofas to watch Mulan. But then Amy got bored and started a popcorn fight, which I promptly ended as, exhausted, Sarah had finally fallen asleep curled up in the corner of the sofa.
‘Right, you two,’ I whispered to my nieces. ‘Time for bed.’
But they just looked at Sarah. ‘What’s wrong with her?’ Amy said.
‘Sarah is having problems with her boyfriend, pet,’ I whispered. ‘So we need to be really nice to her, okay?’
‘Is she going to be okay?’ Zoe whispered.
‘Of course she is, darling. She just needs some peace and quiet.’
‘And some pills,’ Annie added. ‘Mum can’t sleep without her pills.’
Now that was too much information from someone who barely saw their mother. ‘Bed,’ I repeated. ‘Now. I’ll come up to tuck you in in a minute.’
As they made their way up the stairs, Amy mumbled something about just when it was becoming fun, while Zoe put her finger to her lips. ‘Shush, Amy. Auntie Nat said to be kind.’
In the dimly lit living room, I watched my daughter sleep, curled up defensively. I could just drive over there and kill Sam right now. Slay all the dragons, solve all her problems for her, just once, to give her a break, and the chance to start afresh. I quietly sat next to her, wanting to hold her against my heart. I knew I couldn’t wrap her up in cotton wool, so I used my best throw instead.
Sarah opened her eyes and looked at me like when she was little, and my heart turned over in my chest.
‘You okay, pet?’ I murmured.
She stretched and nodded. ‘Mum…?’
‘Yes?’
‘How long… do you think before I get back on my feet?’ she whispered.
I drew her to me and kissed the top of her head. ‘As long as it takes, darling. You can’t rush these things.’
She sniffed, wiping a tear from her face. ‘What would I do without you, Mum?’
‘You’ll be fine, love. Tomorrow is another day.’
But not even Scarlett O’Hara could have any idea of what my tomorrow would be like.
3
Three’s Company
The next morning Sarah looked much better. The purple shadows under her eyes had gone, and instead of the sadness, there was more of a combative air to her. Good girl. Stay mad, be strong.
‘Hello, love. Come and have some breakfast with us,’ I said cheerfully.
‘I can’t believe you really want to sell our home,’ she said as she nodded back at the bubble wrap and boxes in the hall.
I looked up from the table where the twins were munching on scrambled eggs and toast.
‘Well, I think it’s a good idea,’ I answered as I passed her a plate.
‘So do I,’ Amy said. ‘This place is too big for you all by yourself.’
‘Is there going to be room for us in your new home?’ Zoe asked hopefully, watching me with those huge eyes.
I ruffled her hair. ‘There will always be room for you two, my darlings.’
‘What about Sarah here?’ Amy asked. ‘If she and Sam don’t get back together again we’re going to have to lug her around too. Make sure you buy a three-bed at least, Auntie Nat.’
I shot Sarah a glance. She put down her toast and turned to Amy. ‘Never mind me, smarty-pants. I’m going to find somewhere else to live.’
‘Don’t be daft,’ I answered. ‘This place is huge. What’s the use of it, if not to house my loved ones?’
‘Amy does have a point,’ Sarah said. ‘Where are you going to live when you’ve sold up?’
Ah. ‘Somewhere cosy, like Lavender Cottage.’
Sarah poured herself a cup of coffee from the carafe. ‘Lavender Cottage? Isn’t that the one next to Nana?’
Even Sarah knew that that was the only fly in the ointment.
‘Yes. It’s pretty run-down, what with Mrs Pendennis being dead ten years or so. But the harbour front is the ideal spot. I don’t like being secreted up here. I’d rather be in the midst of it all. And I believe it would make a great home for me – for us,’ I corrected myself. ‘It has three bedrooms.’
‘But surely you don’t want to live next to Nana?’
Diplomacy was never our forte. ‘It’s not even for sale, anyway,’ I said. ‘I’m sure that somewhere there is the perfect cottage for me in Wyllow Cove.’
Sarah shook her head wistfully. ‘Only a year ago we were all living together in this house. How things change.’
‘Of course they do, love. Change is life. You and Lizzie both moved to Truro to live your own lives. No one wants to hang around Mum when there’s so much out there to see and do.’
‘I’m never going to leave you,’ Zoe promised me loyally, resting her chin on my forearm.
‘Oh, sweetheart, wait until you grow up. What a wonderful life you’ll both have.’
‘I’m not living with her.’ Amy smirked as she shoved another piece of toast down her throat.
I sighed. Things changed indeed. It was a fact of life. And once the process started, nothing was ever the same again.
‘What are your plans for today?’ Sarah asked.
‘After we get back from Truro, I’m going to enlist my precious little helpers here and bag some of what your father calls the family heirlooms. I want to get the house ready for a real estate agent to see.’
‘Can’t you show it as is?’
I baulked. ‘Absolutely not. If they were to pop in now with the house looking like a medieval lair, they’d run for the hills.’
‘Some people like this grandiose style. And you never seemed to mind it before,’ Sarah said.
How little she knew me. How little I’d spoken up. It was my fault that Neil had dominated me in everything, from what I cooked to how we decorated. Like the goldenrod velour drapes which I loathed with a passion. They made the rooms look smaller and darker. If I’d had my way, I would have thrown everything out and started from scratch, but then Neil had come back with a couple of tables and a sideboard belonging to his grandparents and claimed that they had been destined to reside in this grandiose house. For goodness’ sake – this place wasn’t a castle. It was a huge arts and crafts home. Very pretty on the outside, granted, but quite stifling on the inside. The sooner I got rid of all this tat, the better.
‘That’s because they’re hoarders,’ I dismissed.
‘That’s what Mummy’s last boyfriend said before he left,’ Zoe said.
Sarah and I turned to her. How was that possible? Yolanda’s home was as asep
tic and pristine as they come.
‘It’s true,’ Amy assured us. ‘He said, “Yolanda, I’ve had enough of this bullshit. You’re a right hoard.”’
Sarah’s eyes swung to mine and it was all she could do to not burst out laughing. I shot her a warning glance and she excused herself from the table.
‘And he’s never coming back,’ Zoe said with a sigh.
I pulled them both to me and kissed the tops of their heads. ‘Did you not like him, girls?’
‘I didn’t,’ Amy sentenced, and Zoe reluctantly shook her head, too.
‘He was always angry at Mummy for some reason or other. It’s better now without him. And even better here with you.’
‘Oh, my darlings. Mummy and Sarah and Lizzie and I will always love you above everything else. Will you remember that?’
‘Even if you get married again, Auntie Nat?’ Zoe asked.
‘Of course.’ Even if that prospect was highly unlikely. ‘Right, now let’s clean up before we drive Sarah to Truro. Maybe we can stop for lunch there?’
‘Yayyy!’ they shouted right into my ears, and I was instantly stereo-deafened.
When Sarah came back down, she was no longer grinning from the hoard misunderstanding. Obviously the idea of going back to the flat dampened her spirits.
‘Are you ready to go?’ I asked.
She nodded. ‘My landlord told me that he gave my stuff to Sam who left a forwarding address. But the last thing I need is to see him again.’
By the time we got to Truro, Sarah was in a right state, poor love, her hands gripping the safety bar above her left shoulder, her body rigid.
I parked in front of the block of flats where Sam had apparently relocated and removed my seat belt. ‘Tell you what, Sarah. You take the girls for a walk and I’ll go. If he’s there, he certainly won’t start arguing with me.’
Sarah turned to me, and nodded, and in her eyes I could see the sadness.
I got out of the car, rang the doorbell and waited. After a moment, Sam opened the door, his hair sticking out in every direction. He emanated a distinct odour of hard liquor and smoke.
‘Mrs Tamblynn-Lobb?’ He gaped, stepping back in what could only be surprise. There had never been any love lost between us and the fact that I was here with three trolleys made it clear I hadn’t dropped by for a social call.