He bit his lip and told himself not to lose it with his mother.
“We’re very concerned,” she said, kneading his hand.
“I’ve no right.” The words tumbled out of his mouth. “No right to need help. I’m not his family.”
“It doesn’t mean you’re weak, Zach.” His mother in compassion mode—he wasn’t used to this. Usually she was all business. “He was the closest thing you had to a brother. I think it’s understandable that you’re taking this so hard.”
He looked at the clock and then at his cup of coffee. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Will you let me find someone for you to see?”
“Fine.” Not that he had any intention of calling whomever she dug up for him.
She chuckled. “I know you’re just saying that to shut me up.”
Oh, busted.
“Do you need to be somewhere soon? You keep looking at the time.”
He nodded.
“I saw your skates in the hall.”
“I…” He was going to say he’d joined a hockey league, but then he thought, It’s not good to lie. “I’m going skating with a friend.”
“A friend?” She had a sip of coffee and raised her eyebrows.
Zach thought of using the wrong pronoun, but mentioning a woman might get his mom off his case about Darren for a bit.
“I’m teaching her how to skate.” Not that he was a great teacher.
His mom smiled. “Okay, I’ll leave you alone so you can go see your friend. But Friday night—could you make some time for us then?”
“Sure.”
“Where were you yesterday?” she asked as they headed to the door. “I stopped by when I was running errands. Lots of time at the rink?” She winked.
“I took Maddie and Ethan swimming,” he said.
“Oh.” She paused. “How are they?”
“Alternately normal and…not-so-normal.”
“It’s okay for you to be not-so-normal sometimes, too.” So much for distracting his mom. “You need to accept that.”
It’s okay to be mad sometimes, he’d told Ethan.
“I do need to be heading out now,” Zach said.
She reached up and touched his cheek. “Take care.”
“You too.”
After she stepped outside, she turned back and said, “You’re babysitting—”
“I don’t think of it as babysitting.”
“—and seeing a woman?”
“We’re not dating,” he said. “It’s not like that.”
“I think there’s a chance I’ll have a grandchild after all.”
Before he could protest, she was gone, and Zach was left with the thought that kept haunting him: it should have been him, not Darren.
When Zach had gone to Darren and Tracey’s house the day after, the driveway was still only one-third shoveled, and all the visitors were parked on the road. He took a shovel and finished off the job, pushing himself as hard as he could.
Darren was a husband, father, brother, and son; Zach was only one of those things. It should have been him instead.
So he worked as fast as he could, foolishly hoping he’d have a heart attack and Darren could be brought back to life in his place.
But that wasn’t the way life worked.
»»•««
Zach didn’t bother bringing his skates to Mel Lastman Square. No way would they be skating outside today. He’d looked up public skate times in nearby arenas and figured, if Elise actually showed up, that they’d walk back to his place and he’d drive. Only problem was that there was nothing remotely nearby that had public skating before noon, so they’d have time to kill.
Hmm… What could he do with Elise for an hour or two…
His lips on hers before he’d even closed the door. Her smooth skin, her luscious ass, her perfect tits. All for him to touch. Burying himself in her body and forgetting about everything else. Caring only about his pleasure and her pleasure, hearing her pleas and then her screams. He could lose himself in her.
But he wouldn’t use Elise like that. Wouldn’t use her to give himself some respite, only to drop her a couple weeks—at most—later. He wasn’t entirely selfless here. He liked Elise too much to have her gone from his life so soon. And she would be, if he took her to bed. That was just how he operated.
Except for Sheri. He’d been determined to make that one last and had gotten as far as proposing…only to break it off a couple months later. It just wasn’t for him.
So he’d have to find something else to do with Elise before they could go to the arena.
He walked quickly. The weather was awful. The blackened snowbanks were melting, and the streets were full of puddles, not only from the melting snow, but also from the rain. He soon arrived at the rink. In the middle of what was left of the ice was a sign that said RINK CLOSED. No shit it was closed. Elise wasn’t outside, but he wouldn’t have expected her to stand out in the rain.
He found her on a bench indoors, her skates beside her. Somehow, he wasn’t surprised she was here.
“You came!” She jumped up and walked toward him.
He needed to be very careful. Behave himself. Elise was his skating friend—that was all. But it was hard to remember that when it was pouring rain and they’d both shown up at the rink. And when she looked so cute in her purple jacket and toque, twirling a closed umbrella in one hand. She really did have the loveliest smile.
“You brought your skates,” he said.
“I really don’t know why.” She nodded toward the door.
“I thought I could drive you to an arena. But I looked at the hours and there isn’t any public skating until noon.”
“We don’t have to skate,” she said. “We could do something else. Bowling, maybe?”
“You bowled before?” It wasn’t a bad idea. They could be bowling and skating buddies. Nothing more.
“A few times, but I’m not very good. There’s a bowling alley not too far from my apartment. We can walk.”
Fifteen minutes later, they were at the bowling alley.
They got a ten-pin lane and entered their initials into a very old computer system that looked like it hadn’t been updated since Zach was in high school. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d done this. Sometime between the last time he’d had a snowball fight and the last time he’d skated—the last time he’d done those things until meeting Elise, that is.
The advantage of being indoors was that he got to see Elise without a jacket. She was wearing jeans and a blue sweater, a silver necklace dangling just above the rather low neckline. I will not be distracted.
He threw a strike. So far, so good.
She threw a gutter ball.
Something was wrong with her form, but he wasn’t sure what—he’d been staring at her ass. This innocent game of bowling was really testing his resolve.
Her second ball just barely stayed out of the gutter, knocking down two pins.
“I need those bumpers they put in the gutters for children,” she said. “Believe it or not, I’ve bowled before. I didn’t think I was this bad.”
Zach finished the game with double Elise’s score: one hundred thirty to sixty-five. But Elise, who’d gotten progressively better throughout the game, promised she’d win the next one.
“I don’t think so,” he said. “You’re going down.”
She pushed his shoulder. “Oh really? Well, it’s on.”
He knocked down eight pins on his first turn. Which wasn’t all that impressive, but he said, “Let’s see you beat that.”
“Just watch me. I’m going to throw a strike.” She hadn’t thrown a single strike last game, and her lone spare had been pure luck.
She tripped over her feet as she threw the ball, and it rolled slowly down the right side of the lane, curving in just a little…then a little more…
The ball hit a few pins just to the right of center, which toppled and knocked down several more pins. The last pin on the le
ft teetered, and Zach thought it would remain standing, but finally it, too, fell over.
He couldn’t believe it. She’d knocked down all the pins. Elise apparently couldn’t believe it either. She put her hand to her mouth and doubled over in laughter.
“I thought you were all talk,” he said.
“Who me? I let you win the last game, you know. Thought I’d make you all cocky before I smacked you down.”
She was too cute.
“Then let’s see you do it again.”
She never did it again, although she had a much better score that game. Not enough to beat Zach, however. He won the third game as well, but just barely. He was willing to play a fourth, even though at her current rate of improvement, she’d probably win. But she said her arm was tired.
“We’ll play left-handed,” he suggested.
“No. My ball probably wouldn’t even make it to the pins.” She grasped his upper arm. “I don’t have as much muscle as you do.”
He kept his arm rigid. He would not touch her, as much as he wanted to. And he really wanted to. Not for you.
Still, he couldn’t help wondering what she wanted. He was suspicious she was thinking of standing on her toes and kissing him.
“What about lunch?” she asked, squeezing his arm before stepping back.
»»•««
They went to a Korean restaurant for pork bone soup. It was toasty inside, and Elise was glad. Mainly because Zach decided it was warm enough to take off his sweatshirt again, like he had at the bowling alley. It had taken a while for her to find her focus for bowling when he was walking around in a T-shirt, looking so delicious. But she’d managed. Eventually.
He hadn’t liked it when she touched him, although he was happy to go out for lunch. Very mixed signals. She figured it was more likely that he just wanted to be friends than that he was married but interested in her, like Jill had suggested. She really hoped he wasn’t considering being unfaithful. It would ruin her good opinion of him. He didn’t have a wedding band on, though that didn’t necessarily mean anything.
But there had to be a chance—albeit small—that he liked her and was single, and there was a good reason for the mixed signals. Just like there was a chance she’d win the lottery and be elected Prime Minister.
“I’m having a little party on Saturday,” she said. “In honor of me finally paying off my student loans. You free?”
He thought for a moment. A moment that seemed to stretch on and on and on.
“I should be able to make it,” he said at last.
Her grin probably looked stupid. “What’s your number?” She took out her phone. “I’ll let you know when I figure out the details.”
He dictated the number, and she slid her phone back into her purse.
“I should have had my loans paid off ages ago, but…” She paused, unsure whether she should stop there. But Zach was looking at her so kindly. “My mom died soon after I finished school, nothing to her name. I paid for the funeral and burial.”
He regarded her for a few seconds before saying, “I’m sorry.”
It was difficult to speak of her mom. Elise had to detach herself from her feelings, pretend she was talking about a stranger or a character in a storybook, otherwise her voice would break. She took a deep breath before she spoke again.
“My mother was a verbally abusive—and occasionally physically abusive—drug addict. She wasn’t much of a parent, so I essentially raised my younger brother and sister. That’s why I didn’t have a normal childhood with biking and skating and swimming.”
His hand crept across the table, and then he drew it back sharply. “We’ll make up for it.”
We’ll make up for it. Her heart did a little flip at that.
“What else did you miss out on as a kid?” he asked.
“I went tobogganing for the first time last night. It was fun. I really want to go camping in the summer, but…”
But maybe he wasn’t the person to go on an overnight trip with her.
“What about kayaking or canoeing?” he said. “Maybe we could do that.”
“That’s actually why I got started on all this. I went canoeing last summer and really enjoyed it, although I would have felt a little more comfortable had I been able to swim.”
“I know some good places to go. Day trips.”
They concentrated on their food for a minute, Elise unable to help herself from thinking about the two of them alone in a canoe or cuddled up together in a tent.
“I went swimming with my friend’s kids yesterday.” Zach picked up a piece of meat and then put it back down. “I thought of you.”
She froze, her chopsticks hovering above the kimchee. What exactly was going on with the two of them? She didn’t dare hope, but he’d just said, I thought of you. She searched his face for clues, but he was looking away now, lost in himself once again. If only he’d let her in. Whatever it was that he wanted with her, she wanted to know him better.
“I enjoyed bowling,” he said, snapping his attention back to her. “We should do that again.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “And when we do, I’ll throw strike after strike. You won’t know what hit you.”
“You talk a big game. Especially for someone who completely missed the pins on her first throw.”
She glared at him. That was your own damn fault.
But she was feeling a bit confident now. “We’ll do cosmic bowling next time. What do you think?” Nighttime—more like a date.
“Sure.” He smiled at her, and her heart flipped yet again.
She very much wanted to know what her friends thought of him. Perhaps it wasn’t quite as unlikely as winning the lottery and becoming Prime Minister.
Chapter Six
Elise had told everyone to show up sometime after eight but didn’t expect anyone to come until eight thirty or nine. So she was surprised when the phone rang at five minutes past eight and Zach asked her to buzz him up.
She was going to be alone in her apartment with Zach.
Don’t get too excited.
But her outfit was evidence that she was already too excited. She’d spent half an hour selecting her clothes—a casual brown dress, leggings, and a beautiful scarf. She thought it was a sexy/conservative look. For jewelry, she wore a pair of large hoop earrings, and as far as makeup…well, she’d actually bothered to put on a little mascara. She rarely wore makeup, and in all honesty, she wasn’t very good at applying it.
Elise smoothed her hair as she reached for the door handle. As usually happened when she saw Zach, she had to remember to breathe. He’d taken off his jacket and draped it over his arm, and he just looked so good standing there in a blue button-down shirt and jeans.
“Congratulations,” he said, stepping inside.
Why was he congratulating her? What could she have possibly done to deserve that? Did he—
Oh, right. She’d paid off her student loans. That was the reason for this party.
“Thank you.” She barely squeaked out the words. Stupid sexy man standing in front of her.
She noticed he was carrying a slim bottle, too small to be a regular wine bottle.
“Icewine.” He handed it to her.
She laughed, and he smiled too, a show-stopping smile that reached his eyes. A smile that made certain parts of her body quite warm and tingly.
Did she do the same to him? Hope bubbled up in her chest. Get a hold of yourself. But he’d gotten her a gift that was meaningful, given they spent most of their time together on the ice. He hadn’t just gone to the LCBO and bought whatever was cheap; he’d thought of her. But maybe that was just out of friendship.
She took his jacket and hung it in the closet and then led him into the living room.
“I hope you like icewine,” he said.
“I’ve never had it.” It was rather expensive, and she’d never indulged.
They sat at opposite ends of the couch and regarded each other a moment. A slightly uncomfortable moment.<
br />
“Am I the first one here?” Zach asked at last.
“Yes. My friends rarely show up on time when we’re just meeting at each other’s apartments. Do things work a little differently with your friends?”
“No, they don’t. Although most of my friends have kids now, so there aren’t many after-dinner parties anymore.”
“But you don’t have kids.”
“No.” He said this quite decisively, and then added, “Much to the disappointment of my parents.”
They were quiet for a minute, Elise trying to figure out what to say next. She was tempted to just ask what was going on between them, but maybe she should tiptoe around that.
In the end, she decided to be a little bold.
“So did you want to be the first one here?” she asked, leaning toward Zach.
He held her gaze for a moment, and then his eyes dipped lower. “What do you think?” he said quietly, and she felt the words deep inside her.
He said nothing more, just took his sweet time checking her out. To give him a better view, she unwrapped the scarf from around her neck and placed it on the table beside her. His eyes dropped from her neck to her chest, and she imagined him licking that path as she lay underneath him. Squirming. Flushed. Every bit of her was screaming to be pleasured by the hot man before her. To feel his skin against hers, to feel his rock-hard body pressing down on her. God, she wanted him so badly.
And shockingly, the feeling seemed to be mutual. He was looking her up and down like taking her to bed was the only thing on his mind. Never had a man looked at Elise quite like that before. But there was no mistaking it. He wanted her.
So why didn’t he just take her? Zach seemed like a man who took what he wanted.
“I knew I shouldn’t be the first one here, but it happened anyway,” he said.
“You married? Is that what’s going on?”
He snorted. “You think I’m married? Clearly you don’t know me very well.”
“I don’t. But I’d like to.” She slid toward him and placed her hand on his shoulder.
He tensed like he had at the bowling alley and shook her off. “We’re friends. I’m teaching you how to skate. And trust me, you don’t want to know me all that well.”
Meet Me on the Ice Page 4