by Jessica Gunn
So, I had only one option left. And I’d act on it before Ben or anyone else on the team woke up.
I’d resign as Fire Circle Hunter, Jaffrin’s plans for me and his ultimatum be damned.
I took photos of the rest of the pages I’d need for my mission to find and kill Giyano, then returned the tome to its resting place. This would be enough to tide me over until mission completion. I just had to be careful. And smart. And, somehow, get a few steps ahead of this demon.
But he was an Old One. He was powerful and dangerous. So, supposedly, was I. Or at least my soul was.
I tucked my phone back into my pocket and made my way from the basement to the second floor. At six in the morning, only Jaffrin was here. The other Circle officials didn’t come in until later.
Light poured out of his open office door and shone down the hallway, but I didn’t move toward it. If I did this, if I bailed on the Fire Circle after all the years they’d spent training me to be their Alzanian savior, I wasn’t sure the Blackwoods’ relationship with the Fire Circle would survive. And that wasn’t my intention. I had no real issue with the Fire Circle. Sure, Jaffrin was an idiot. And Ben might get his team killed. But those were the only two things.
I braced myself against the hallway wall. I could possibly ruin what relationship my witch line had with the Fire Circle, or I could suck it up and try to train Ben before we trained as a team.
No. For the last decade of my life, the Fire Circle had owned me. All for a destiny I didn’t get a say in. I’d been their puppet for far too long. It was time to resign and do my own thing, whatever that was and whatever path that led me on, to take out Giyano. And then… then I didn’t know what.
I pushed off the wall, temporary determination driving me. Twenty feet and a five-minute conversation were all that stood between me and relative freedom. You can do this.
“Krystin.”
I froze. It was Ben. Shit. Some timing. “What?”
“What are you doing?” Ben asked, a tinge of worry in his voice. Good. He should be worried. I hadn’t talked to him since he’d walked our team into that trap.
I spun. He was coming down the hallway like nothing was wrong. Maybe he hadn’t figured out what I’d come up here to do. Hopefully, he wasn’t also planning to do the same. Not that I cared. I was out and that was that. Unless he was going to leave the team, leaving Rachel and Nate alone. My gut twisted. Could I really leave them to that? Maybe we weren’t super close friends, but they’d been the only people I’d let in this far in years.
“Going to talk to Jaffrin,” I answered. Not a lie. Also not the truth.
“Oh, good,” he said. “Me too.” Only as soon as he got close enough, his gaze trailed down to the paper in my hand clutched between taut fingers. He looked up and frowned. “Krystin…”
“Nope. Stop right there.”
“Are you resigning?”
I shrugged. “Appears so, but don’t get your hopes up. Most he’ll probably do is reassign me whether I like it or not. Then I’ll have to go AWOL and fake an identity. It could be the next big movie.”
Ben’s eyes tightened, his nostrils flaring. “I know I screwed up.”
“You think?”
“Give me another chance.”
“You’ve had several.”
He jabbed a finger in the air between us. “So did you! The first time we go out, you’re recognized by name in a demon bar. That next night you went off to Hunter’s Guild alone. Before you joined the team, everything was quiet.”
“Except Riley,” I pointed out, since that’s what this was really all about, wasn’t it? Ben’s son. Ben’s rage. Ben’s angst. Ben’s inability to lead without getting anyone hurt. “We all could have died last night.”
“I’m aware,” he snapped.
“Oh. Good.” I pretended to wipe my brow. “I wasn’t sure what registered through your blind rage and unconsciousness while the rest of us were poisoned with elin.” I shuddered. That stuff was the absolute worst. “I’m still surprised Rachel was up and moving before you. She’s incredibly powerful, you know that? With her power mastered and channeled, no one stands a chance. Not me in training, not Giyano. Maybe not even Lady Azar herself.”
Silence fell like a brick between us. Finally, Ben said, “I’m sorry, okay? I’m aware of my anger problems. They started all of this, years ago. I don’t think it’s a coincidence I’m imbued with power over lightning.”
“Wasn’t it a lightning strike that did it?” I asked.
“Yes, but that’s not the point. Lightning is volatile. Unpredictable. Like me.” He shook his head and paced away from me.
I glanced down the hall. Jaffrin either hadn’t heard us or was listening in. I knew which I preferred. “Fine. You get a pass there. But your decisions almost got us killed last night, Ben. Even when everyone called the trap. You have a blind spot when it comes to Riley. And I’m not saying I don’t also have blind spots, but I’m better at checking them before rushing headfirst into a suicide mission.”
“He’s my son,” he said, stalking back to me. “You can’t understand what that’s like until you have one.”
“And that’s fine. I don’t want kids. I want to stay alive long enough to retire from the Circles with my life intact.” I lifted up my resignation letter. Handwritten, but whatever. No one had ever called me professional. “I can’t do that on a team where the leader is so clouded by his own emotions and tantrums that we’re dodging demonic bullets five times a week. I get enough attacks out there. So this is my way to get out before retirement.” Even if it killed the relationship my family had with the most powerful entity in direct connection to the Powers. Even if it meant I was put at risk because of the prophecy.
It looked like I’d be at risk no matter what I did.
“Don’t leave,” Ben nearly whispered. “Please. One more chance.”
“Why?” I asked, exasperated. “You don’t even like me, Ben.”
“I never said I didn’t like you.” He swallowed hard. “But that last bit is true. I used to think that. Not anymore.”
“Why? Is it because you now see how much the team needs me?” Which they didn’t. Jaffrin could just as easily find another magik-infused person to fill up the fourth slot, or even two powerless Hunters to make the five-man standard. Either way, they didn’t need me. Alzan was the absolute only entity that did.
“We do need you, Krystin,” he said, eyes rounded in earnest. “I need you. You’re incredible. And powerful. And you know way more about the magik side of things than we do. And… you’re perfect leader material. You deserve that chance.” He tugged a small piece of paper out of his pants pocket. “I was here early to resign as well.” He lifted up the paper and tore it in half in front of me. “Will you stay if I’m no longer leader? So we can get this job done?”
I wanted to accept it. But I was no leader, and we both knew that. No matter how much experience I had over them. “I don’t want to be a team leader, Ben. I don’t want to be in the running to be Circle Leader after Jaffrin finally kicks the bucket. I don’t want to be in charge of a team. That’s you. You’ve been doing it since football.”
Ben nodded, squeezing the torn-up pieces of paper. “Then let’s do this together. Finish the mission, get Riley back from Giyano and Shadow Crest—take the fight to them if we have to. Then you can decide if you want to stay. And so will I.”
I chewed the inside of my cheek and looked down at my resignation letter. Staying would give him the one more chance he’d wanted. Staying would mean another shot at Giyano with a team behind me. Staying would mean not giving in, something I hated to do. But sometimes, giving in was the only way out.
Maybe now wasn’t one of those times.
I crumbled my resignation letter and threw it at Ben. He caught it and looked up at me. “Fine,” I said. “Deal. We’ll finish this mission together, then figure out the rest.” I took off past him and started down the hall, but Ben caught up to me and grabbed my arm.
Ben’s eyes hardened around some sort of resolve, the lights above catching the blue in his eyes. My stomach fluttered as he held my arm loosely, enough to draw attention and nothing more. “Thank you, Krystin.”
I laughed. We still had a lot of work to do. “Don’t say that until we’ve gotten Riley back to you, safe and sound and out of Shadow Crest’s hold.”
Chapter 18
BEN
By midday, we were back at the team’s house. Some of the Fire Circle’s healers came through to take care of me and to check out the others for any lasting effects of elin.
After, I jogged down into the basement training room alone, hoping to actually force myself to learn from Krystin this time around. And for her to learn from me too, whatever those lessons might be. If we were going to do this, go after Shadow Crest directly, we’d have to go at them hard. Which meant I had a lot of learning to do, magik-wise.
Or we needed to somehow acquire a lot of guns in a short amount of time, but the Fire Circle didn’t just go around handing those out.
With the latter not being an option, I continued on toward the basement. Krystin was alone inside. She’d taken up a seat on a stack of mats against the farthest wall. A smug smirk wrapped across her full lips, widening into a grin as she watched me realize I was the only one here.
“Where are Rachel and Nate?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Don’t know. Upstairs somewhere, probably. They’re not training today.”
My eyes narrowed. “Why not?”
“Because I need to get through to you first before this can continue,” she said.
“What’s that mean?” I tried not to take offense at it. Really, I did. But my fists balled anyway.
She hopped off the stack of mats and placed her hands on her hips. “It means both of them have already done what I need you to do. Since the night we met in that alleyway, you’ve held back. On your powers. On your reasoning. On basically everything except for your anger and your love for your son.”
“Look, that’s—”
Krystin held up her hand. “And before you go and interrupt and tell me how that’s irrelevant to whatever you think this is about, it is relevant. Rachel is his aunt. She has the same fears you do, albeit not on anywhere near the same level. But it’s there. And Nate cares, too. You’re his friend. You’re not special here, Ben. We’ve all lost someone to Darkness. To Giyano. So the first step today? Get the hell over it. Don’t let it control you. Stuff it down, let it out—I don’t care. Just get it done.”
My jaw stiffened. Locked. One doesn’t just “get over” one’s son being kidnapped.
Krystin threw up her hands. “Okay, fine. Don’t. I don’t care. I’m not the one who can’t use their magik correctly because I’m being a dick.”
Rage flashed behind my eyes. I took a step toward her. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”
“Rachel’s more powerful than most elementals I’ve ever seen,” she said, not budging an inch. “A little training and she’ll surpass them. A lot of training and we won’t need a fifth member of this team because she’ll have taken out all demon ranks this side of Boston. But she’s able to be that powerful because she’s not thinking about the limits of her power. Rachel isn’t thinking about how much of it is needed to save Riley or to power an attack, or how much she’s failed in the past to do pretty much anything she’s tried. But you are, Ben. And that’s the problem.”
I swallowed hard. Krystin wasn’t wrong about a lot of her assumptions. Riley. This team. School. I’d even failed football in the end.
“Those things don’t define you and they sure as hell don’t outline your future—except where your magik is concerned.” Krystin relaxed her stance, her eyes rounding. “All magik-users face this slump, especially elementals. For you guys, your emotions drive your magik. It’s how the magik makes its presence known, how it grows in power. But instead of being a top-notch lightning wielder who can strike down anything in his path, you psych yourself out. You stand there and pretend that there’s an insurmountable wall between you and the enemy. For you, it’s a wall made out of failure. But it’s a glass wall, Ben. You need to understand that.”
“I don’t see it as glass.” I’d smash right through it if that were true.
She nodded. “It is glass. Yes, there are threats. There are demons. And hell, there are insane odds in favor of our mission as Hunters failing. But we’re still here. Night after night after night. Fighting this war. Eradicating Darkness. Those things are very real. But the wall you’ve built up to blame your ‘uncontrollable’ magik on isn’t. It’s not actually there. You concentrate so much on what you can’t do that you’ve never stopped to think about what you can do.”
Okay. So maybe she was right. But nothing she taught me here would be so easily applicable. “So teach me. We’re running out of time.”
Krystin smiled wide, the smile reaching her eyes for once. Genuine. “Now we’re talking.” She stepped back and threw out her arms. “Show me what you can do, then. Get past me and touch the wall, you win. I knock you down, you start over. Show me what you can do, Ben.”
She dropped into a fighting stance and I followed suit. After a few seconds, I leaped up and gathered lightning in my palm as I charged. Krystin waved her left hand and my body froze midair, an inch off the ground as I ran.
I looked down, then up at her. “Okay. Not fair.”
“Darkness doesn’t play fair, Ben. Again.”
She let go and I righted myself. If I came at her directly, she’d stop me cold. But if I got her to move around the mats some…
Krystin took a step back and climbed up onto the stack of mats. “Come on. Show me what you’ve got in you.”
I let out a roar and charged again but didn’t light up my hand. I reached over and grabbed the hoodie she’d left on the side of the mat and threw it her way. In the second she had both hands in the air for the catch, I rushed the stacked mats. I wrapped my hand around her ankle and pulled before she used teleportante to scoot out of my hold. Then she turned back, winked, and pushed me to the ground with telekinesis.
“What’s the problem, Ben?” she singsonged. “Can’t find a way to hit me?”
“Hit you,” I echoed, shaking my head as I wiped my face. It wasn’t about hitting her. It was about tagging the wall.
“Yes. Hit me. That’s exactly all you can do right now to get past me to the wall. Hit me, Ben. With the best shot of whatever you’ve got cooking in that power of yours.”
No. Absolutely no way was I hitting Krystin head-on with lightning. Most of my opponents either had seizures and were unconscious for a good amount of time, or they simply died of electrocution. And I’d already hurt Rachel once by accident, years ago, when I was in a coma and shocked her with lightning.
No way in hell was I doing that to Krystin, not after so long.
She pointed a finger at my head. “See! That right there. That’s the hesitation I’m talking about. Stop thinking of me as a teammate, Ben. When we spar, I’m a demon. When we talk through scenarios, I’m a demon. Hit me with everything you have.”
She was crazy. Certifiably nuts. “No.”
“Do it, Ben,” she said, her words firm and unforgiving. “Light me up. Burn me with your lightning magik. Pretend I’m a demon. Giyano. Whoever.” She lifted her left hand, two fingers pressed together like a wand, and she started to move them through the air. She swung and my body slammed into the mats. “Do it now or I’ll keep smacking you down and you’ll learn nothing. Attack me.”
Every word sent a rock of frustration tumbling down my throat. I didn’t want to hurt her in any way. But…
There it was again. I assumed I would hurt her for whatever reason. But if I tried, if I really focused, maybe I’d control the power enough to ensure that it’d never happen.
I concentrated on the lightning, the strike that gave me my powers, and the magik flowing within it.
Krystin backed up a step, eyes w
idening. “There you go.”
Control. I had to control this or she’d be dead. Possibly me too. But my fear was gone. Or at least it was hidden away for now. I lifted my hands and held them up, watching the bright white lightning spark and sizzle.
“Now attack,” Krystin said.
I looked up from my hands to her round face. “I’ll hurt you.”
“You won’t,” she said. “Know why? Because you’ll have control. Finally. Go ahead.”
I pushed my arms forward and sent lightning straight at Krystin, full speed. She snapped the first half of the bolt out of the air with her telekinesis. The bolt soared into a nearby wall with the loud crack of stone splitting. She took her eyes off of me for one moment to look at the strike. I lifted my other hand and released a much smaller bolt of lightning, something small that’d almost burn. The bolt hit her arm and she squeaked as red bloomed across her skin.
I stepped back and watched her check her arm over, eyes wide. She hadn’t expected me to actually do it. I smirked. “Relax; you’re fine.”
“Right,” she drawled, fingers poking the now-forming welt on her arm. “You weren’t the one almost struck by super lightning.”
“I already did that once. I’m all set on repeats,” I said wryly as I walked over to her. Her arm looked like she’d been sunburned, but otherwise Krystin appeared to be okay. I hadn’t given that strike too much power.
She looked up from her arm and into my eyes. The shock of her bright blue irises hitched my breath. “See. That wasn’t hard, was it?”
I grinned as warmth lapped at my neck. Krystin was intimidating as hell, but I’d never turned down a challenge before. And for the first time in a while, I’d found someone willing to go toe-to-toe with me. “Guess not. You’re a good teacher.” I lifted a finger and ran it along her reddened skin. “We could call the healers back to take care of this.”
Krystin shivered, though the air was stifling and sweat glistened her brow. “I’m good. I’ve taken harder hits.”