by M. Malone
Eli leaned over her, the skin of her back warm against his chest. “You have no idea what you look like. You’re so beautiful, baby, lying there so trusting while I touch you. Every bit of you is open and ready. You’d let me do anything to you, wouldn’t you?”
He grasped her head gently, turning her so he could look into her eyes. “But you’re not ready for that. Not yet.”
She whimpered at his words, her eyes telling him the truth. Their mouths met in a soft brush of lips. Then he threaded his fingers through her hair, holding her still as their tongues dueled.
He pushed his thigh between her legs and gently turned her over. She was completely at his mercy, her legs forced and held open by his wide stance. He’d never hurt her, would rather cut off his arm than cause her even a moment of fear. Still, the knowledge that he could do anything he wanted to her, that she’d let him do anything, was heady.
“You have no idea what you do to me, do you?”
He slid his middle finger deep and then pulled out to massage around the ring of her opening. Kaylee moaned, a soft, vulnerable sound in the back of her throat as he slid two fingers inside her, teasing her warm, snug flesh until she panted his name.
Then she shuddered as a massive orgasm crashed over her, her core clenching around Eli’s busy fingers. He positioned himself at her opening, no longer able to hold back, and thrust inside, holding still to allow her time to adjust.
She shrieked, first in surprise and then in pleasure, as he pulled out and then thrust forward again. He groaned. She was so wet, so hot.
Then her back bowed and her inner muscles clamped down around him. Her eyes flew open and he saw it, the moment she lost control of herself. The squeeze and pull of her muscles stole what little control he had left and he followed her over the edge.
She let out a soft sigh and wrapped her arms around his neck. He reveled in the feel of holding her so close to him and buried his face in her shoulder, inhaling the warm scent of her skin and letting it drug him into exhaustion. She patted his chest and pushed him over so they lay on their sides with her leg thrown over his hip. She made no move to get up, content to rest there in his arms.
The gesture was so trusting, and he had never wanted or needed a woman to trust him this much before.
Normal people didn’t lock their partners out of their bedrooms, so of course she’d find it odd that they never slept in his room. The only reason she’d waited so long to comment on it was because she trusted him. He was glad she did, because he cared for her too much to hurt her. He wanted only to make her every fantasy and dream come true.
He curled around her, tucking her head right below his chin. Right then and there, he decided that he would clean out his closet the next day. He could get rid of a lot of it and put some in storage. He wouldn’t need it anytime soon, if ever. There was no guarantee that Kay would ever be open to that level of experimentation. He needed her more than he needed control.
He hadn’t been in a normal relationship, well, ever, so it wasn’t surprising that he was already screwing it up. But after what she’d already been through, she needed stability and normalcy. Plus, after everything else he’d told her, she probably thought being locked out of his room meant he was hiding something else.
And she was right.
THE NEXT MORNING, Kay woke to the annoying sound of her alarm. She slapped it off and then sat up in bed, every muscle protesting the motion. Heat climbed to her face. The tight ache between her legs and behind her thighs reminded her of why she was so exhausted. They’d used muscles last night that hadn’t seen a workout in a long time.
She needed coffee. Immediately.
There was still a slight indentation in the pillow on the other side of the bed, so she figured Eli hadn’t been up long. She grabbed her nightshirt from her bag and then her toothbrush before tiptoeing over to the door. There was no sound in the hallway, so she cracked the door slightly and peered out. She ran her hands over her hair and straightened her shirt. Knowing Elliott, he was probably running five miles before breakfast or something equally hardcore. Whereas she just wanted her caffeine injection and something filled with lots of carbohydrates.
After cleaning her teeth and washing her face, she finally felt human again. Today was going to be a different day, Kay decided. It was silly to let anything Carly said get under her skin. She already knew the other woman wanted Eli for herself. Plus, it wasn’t as if Eli didn’t already know that she was inexperienced in the bedroom. He’d made her give him a list of her lovers, after all. Clearly, he’d made his choice and she had no doubt that he was up to the task of teaching her anything she wanted to know in the bedroom.
She walked down the hallway and as soon as she entered the living room, a blaring siren pierced the air.
“Oh no, the alarm!” Kay whirled around and raced back down the hallway. Her heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was in her throat. All she could think was get to Eli. Even though she’d been careful to give him his privacy, at that moment she didn’t care. She burst into his room.
Eli was standing near the closet wearing a pair of jeans and nothing else. Dimly, she thought it was a good thing that she’d already seen him naked, otherwise the additional shock would have probably stopped her heart.
As it was, she launched herself into his arms without a thought or care. “The alarm!”
“It’s okay, angel. I’ve got it. Just wait here.” He somehow managed to untangle her arms from around his neck and Kay sat on the floor at his feet. He walked out into the hallway, and a few moments later, the shrill sound stopped.
Kay let out a sigh of relief. She had completely forgotten about the alarm since he was usually up early and disabled it before she even woke up. Her alarm at home was only on the front door, so she’d never had to worry about it when walking around inside her apartment.
A glint of light caught her eye. Eli’s closet doors were open. There were rows and rows of shiny and colorful objects. There was something hanging near the door that looked like a long belt. She leaned closer to see what it was.
“Oh my God.” She almost fell forward when she realized what she was looking at. It looked like some kind of torture device, made from leather with a multitude of long, flowing strips at the end. With a small gasp, she stood and walked closer. One shelf held small metal instruments. Kay couldn’t even begin to imagine what some of them were for, but they looked painful.
And scary as hell.
The second shelf held things that she could at least identify. Kay blushed all the way down to her toes as she looked at the row of vibrators. Sasha had always kept hers in her bedside drawer and loved to mortify Kaylee by whipping it out. Kay had always been curious about them and wanted to get one, but every time she decided to do it, she chickened out. It was so childish, but she couldn’t help wondering what if her mother ever came over and stumbled across it. She would instantly die from the embarrassment. Plus, she wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it, and that wasn’t the kind of thing you could ask someone.
“It’s okay now. I called headquarters so they’d know it was a false alarm.” Eli appeared in the doorway to the room. When he noticed her staring into the closet, he stiffened.
Kay backed up a step and looked down at her feet. “Sorry about that. I wasn’t thinking.”
Eli came into the room and shut the closet door. She sneaked a glance in his direction to see him watching her, his eyes guarded.
“Well, I should go take a shower.”
“Kay, wait.”
Eli took a step in her direction and she couldn’t help but shrink back. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment, and when he opened them, the pain on his face made Kay instantly sorry.
“I would never hurt you, angel.”
“I know. I’m so sorry. I was just shocked by… everything. I didn’t mean to snoop, I swear. It was just the closet was open—”
“You don’t have to explain anything. I just wanted you to know that what’s in
there doesn’t change anything between you and me. It doesn’t matter.”
Kay let out a half sigh, half sob. “It doesn’t matter? Of course it matters. Eli, I don’t even know what half that stuff is.”
Eli ran his hands over his bald head. “You don’t need to know what it is because I was never going to show it to you anyway.”
Fantastic, Kay thought. She wasn’t sure what his deal was, with him kissing her, calling her his angel, and teasing her until she was so hot that just the brush of her thighs against each other was enough to set her off. He’d trusted her with so much, telling her things she was pretty sure no one else knew. She’d definitely trusted him with everything she had.
Had he been planning to hide this part of himself forever?
“I want you to forget about it. Okay? I know it upset you, but if you could just pretend you never saw it, we can go back to the way things were.” Eli watched her closely, like he was afraid she would break at any minute.
The problem, Kay thought, was he was probably right.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
ELI STOOD AT the mantel in the living room, staring into the flames dancing in the grate. When he’d done the upgrades to the house, he’d converted the fireplace to an automatic. All you had to do was flick a switch. Standing there, awash with anger and regret, he found that he missed the old way when you had to go out in the cold and chop wood. It would have given him something to do with his hands. And something to hit.
A door slammed in the hall and he looked up. A second later, another door closed. Then it was silent again. He hung his head. Kay was probably going to spend the rest of the day in her room, hiding from him. She probably didn’t feel safe being alone with him now.
He yanked his cell phone from his belt, desperate to do something useful. A few minutes later, Tank answered.
“Hey, boss.”
“Where are we with Banner? Have you found anything to connect Jeremy and Timothy Banner?”
“No. Although Jeremy claims he was always paid in cash, and I believe him. Everything he’s told us so far has been true, so I can’t think of any reason he would lie about that one detail. Banner was also telling the truth about his campaign platform. He’s already scheduled several interviews to talk about alternative family values and the need for diversity in the senate. So he wasn’t just blowing smoke to throw me off.”
Eli pinched his nose, massaging the tension between his eyes. “So your hunch was correct. It looks like Banner isn’t involved.”
A sound at the doorway drew his attention. Kay peered around the doorjamb.
“Tank, I have to go. Let me know as soon as you find something.”
“Wait, boss. Have you decided when we’re doing our test? You know, the bait and switch? Matt and I are both free starting tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow it is, then. In the morning.” He ended the call and put his phone back in his pocket. “Hey. You can come in.”
She didn’t come any closer. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“You’re not.”
“I just wanted to apologize again.”
Eli took a step closer, hoping she wouldn’t run away. “I’m the one who should apologize. I never meant for this to happen.”
“It was my fault. I’m the one who invaded your privacy. At least I know what she was talking about now.”
“Who?”
“Carly,” she whispered.
Eli held in a curse. Of course. She’d been different yesterday, edgy and irritable. Why hadn’t he thought that Carly would say something? It honestly hadn’t occurred to him she’d be so reckless. There was nothing to indicate that Kay was anything other than a client. Carly was usually very discreet, which was part of why she was such a great assistant.
But she was also a woman used to getting her way.
“Look, I don’t know what Carly said to you, but I’m sure it was meant to scare you off.”
“She said that you’d get tired of my good-girl routine and come back to her. She said that if you hadn’t let me into your room, then I didn’t really know you. That only she could give you what you really need.”
“She’s wrong,” Eli said. “The reason I’m not with Carly is because she couldn’t give me what I need. Because what I need is you.”
Her face fell. “I’m not what you need. Clearly.”
“Please don’t say that.”
“I just need some time. To think about things. This is a little overwhelming.”
“I know. Take all the time you need. First, though, I need to tell you something. It’s about Timothy Banner.”
Kay nodded shakily. “What about him?”
“We just found out he’s running for office as the first openly gay conservative. We thought it was possible he might be behind all this since he’s running on a family-values platform. However, he’s obviously not courting the usual conservative votes. Tank talked to him and he seems to have no ill will toward you.”
“What? Tim is running for office? And he’s gay?” Kay temporarily seemed to forget her fear of Eli because she moved to the couch and sank down.
“So, you didn’t know?”
“No, I had no idea. About any of it. I guess that explains a lot.” She looked down at her hands.
Eli sighed. She looked so lost that he hated what he was about to do. So many people had already lied to her and here he was about to do the same thing. But now that their best lead had evaporated, their next best bet was Sasha. He needed to know if she could be trusted.
“I know things are a little strange right now, but we’re going home tomorrow. I need to meet with someone in that area, so you’ll get a chance to visit with your family. Matt will stay with you while you’re there.”
“When are we going?”
“Tomorrow. First thing in the morning.”
She didn’t answer, so he left her there sitting alone. She wasn’t ready to talk to him, and he was willing to give her space. The only thing he could do for her now was figure out this mystery. Once she was free, she could decide what she wanted to do with an open heart.
KAY WAITED UNTIL she heard the bedroom door close, then got up and went back to her room. Her head was spinning from all the impossible things she’d seen and heard that morning. Her ex-boyfriend and the father of her child was gay? Eli, her sweet, gentle warrior, had some kind of scary torture chamber hidden in his closet?
Everything she thought she knew was a lie. Either that or she’d just been walking around with blinders on. Neither option was all that comforting.
Despite the fact that it was only seven o’clock in the morning, she dialed Sasha’s number. Since they’d been in hiding, Eli had asked her to limit her phone calls. But she decided this counted as an emergency. Finding out that the man she was in love with had a closet full of whips and chains was worth bucking the rules to call her best friend.
“It’s too early,” Sasha’s voice sounded like she was hungover. Her friend could be something of a party girl, so Kay figured it was a distinct possibility.
“Wake up, Sasha. I need your help.”
“Wait, what? What do you need?”
“I need an intervention. Or a rescue.”
Sasha sounded slightly more alert when she asked, “Aren’t you with Eli? You’re already being rescued.”
“Well, I need a rescue from my rescue,” Kay snapped. “I need something.”
“Okay, what has got you so worked up? The last time we talked, you were floating on a cloud of orgasmic bliss. What did he do?”
Kay sank down on the mattress and buried her face in her hands. “It wasn’t what he did. It was what I found. In his closet.”
“Oh boy. That’s the kind of sentence that never ends well. What did you find? Naked photos of his last girlfriend?”
“Uh, no.”
“Naked photos of his last five hundred girlfriends?”
“Sasha, seriously?”
“Hey, it happens. He’s got the body fo
r it. If it’s not other women, then what could be so bad? I hope you’re not freaking out because the dude has a porn stash or something. Every guy has one whether he admits it or not. It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Does every guy have a closet full of whips, vibrators, and scary-looking metal torture things?” Kay whispered.
“Whoa? Are you serious? Girl, you have all the luck. It’s always those quiet, intense types that turn out to be undercover freaks.”
“Sasha! This is not helping. I have no idea what to do.”
“Baby girl, you don’t need to do anything except enjoy. A man who actually knows enough about sex toys to use them properly is a rare thing. My ex acted like my vibrator was an insult to his masculinity or something.”
Kay flopped on her back and stared at the ceiling miserably.
Sasha cleared her throat. “Okay, look. I know this is scary and new to you. You haven’t been with many guys. But do you really think Eli would hurt you?”
“I didn’t say that. But what if he wants to hit me with one of those things?”
“Uh-uh. Just answer the question. Has he ever done anything to you against your will or ever tried to push you into something that made you uncomfortable?”
Kay fidgeted. “No, of course not. He was trying to talk me out of liking him.”
“That’s because that man cares about you. I’m a little jealous to be honest. The way he looks at you… I get a proximity hot flash every time I see it.”
“What do I do, Sasha? I need you to tell me what I should do.”
“I can’t do that. All I can say is that good men are rare. I certainly haven’t met any lately. Even if it’s kind of scary that he’s into some freaky stuff, which I need to point out is not a bad thing, he’s a good guy who cares about you. Don’t you think he should at least be given the opportunity to explain what you saw?”