“Whenever I grow tired…whenever I doubt…whenever I feel weak I look to him. I look to him and remember all that he did for us. I remember all that he gave up.”
Belili put her head down. She walked away. Sarah watched her leave. She then turned back to Joshua. She watched him play in the dirt by the lake. She thought this was probably the only place he ever felt truly like himself anymore. Perhaps somewhere in that mind that had been torn apart and recreated was the echo of a memory of this last place where he had last felt peace.
Sarah walked to where Joshua sat playing in the dirt. As she neared him she saw that he was drawing shapes in the dirt. She realized in his own way he was trying to make order in the chaos. Sarah sat in the dirt next to him.
He smiled when he saw her. It was that same smile he always had. Sarah looked into his eyes. They were wide and wild. She wondered about the mind that had once been behind those eyes.
Joshua reached for some grass that was at his side. From it he picked a flower. It was s small purple flower. He stared at it and his smile grew. He then handed it to Sarah.
She looked at the flower Joshua was offering her. It was a flower that was plucked from where it was growing. She had not noticed it before. Now she did. She could see how beautiful it was because it had been taken from its place of origin and presented to her.
However, now it would die. It would be beautiful for a bit longer then wither away. Sarah might never have noticed the beauty of this object if it had not been plucked and presented to her but in doing so its death had been accelerated.
That is the way of some things, Sarah thought. The price of beauty comes sometimes with great cost. It comes with the cost that your future may be taken from you. That was the cost to the flower. In some ways that was the cost to all the children in the Sea of Glass. They had brilliant and beautiful minds. They had some of the most brilliant minds in all existence. Because of this they were plucked from the worlds they knew so those minds could shine greater. In doing so they were sacrificing a future they could have had. Joshua with his brilliance had been plucked from his life and he had sacrificed his mind. Sarah wondered if he had sacrificed his soul too.
Sarah took the flower Joshua was giving her. She thought of how he shared this beauty with her. It was his gift. Once he had given all the universe a gift. He had sacrificed the beauty of his mind for them.
“Thank you,” Sarah said.
After a moment she too presented her own gift to Joshua. She took the small charm bracelet from her wrist. It had been the one her mother had given her. In this strange place with it’s strange sky Sarah wore it always. In this alien world it was the last connection to the normal world she had come from. It was her last true physical connection to a life that was no more.
As she took it from her wrist she realized she needed to grow up. Sacrificing her connections to her old life was insignificant to the sacrifice that Joshua had made.
She gave Joshua her bracelet. She grabbed his arm and wrapped it around his wrist.
He looked down at the bracelet and he smiled. He then showed it to Sarah on his wrist. As he did so his smile grew wider.
When Sarah had first come to this place she had cried often. She cried because she had lost her family. However, Joshua had lost so much more.
***
The children once again stood along the walls of the Sea of Glass. They were training regularly to swim through infinity. As the years and months passed they were learning to be in better control of their gifts. They were now learning the idea of picking their paths. Instead of leaping blindly into infinity they were choosing where they would go.
Sarah was getting better at spotting the tunnels. They flowed above her along the walls of infinity. The more she was able to focus on them the more clearly she was able to see them.
Today the children were to attempt something new. Today rather than leaping directly into the Multiverse they were going to learn to ride the currents of existence. They would swim through the seas of infinity to destinations of their choosing.
Belili stood behind Sarah and spoke.
“Focus Sarah,” she said. “See all the waves and ripples as they flow. Before you is not a wall…it is an ocean. It is an infinite and endless ocean. In that great sea of infinity, you can travel where you like.”
“And you can live there if you’d like. You can live there a lifetime. You can experience a lifetime. And when you return to these beaches minutes will have passed. Hours. Time has no true meaning on the shores of the Sea of Glass.”
“You have the ability to catch the waves, Sarah. You can catch the sea. Catch it and fall in love with this moment,” Belili said. “Give it your heart and soul. Reach out with all of you and swim through the great ocean of the Multiverse.”
Sarah stared at the great wall of flowing infinity before her. Her eyes moved over its waves. She began to cast her gaze upward along the sea. She stared high above to the points where the wall became the sky. There she focused on one tunnel. As she did so it became clearer before her eyes. Then it began to erupt with light. Waves of light flowed from it. Sarah realized she could catch those ripples and she could use them to pull herself upward. She could follow those ripples like a path.
Belili too saw the ripples of light along the Sea of Glass.
“Go to it,” Belili said. “Go.”
Sarah stepped forward. She did not just step as she had before and get lost in a tunnel. Instead she stepped onto a sea of tunnels that floated around her. She realized she was not confined to one point. She could move along the currents of the Sea of Glass.
Sarah chose to go up. She chose to sail up this wall of light to the Verse high above. She saw the ground she had left behind her fall further and further away. She realized that she was gliding up this sea of glass. She was floating in the sky. With each movement waves of color erupted from around her. It was like seeing wings of light unfurling.
The wings began to carry her. They carried her past all the tunnels in this endless Multiverse.
It was a beautiful site as Sarah lifted into the sky wrapped in wings of light and color. She flew like an angel.
All the children were beginning to do this. They were flying on wings of light on a sea of infinity. The waves and ripples from their movement were beautiful. The children flew like angels in the sky.
These children were artists and poets in different lives. They were scientists and philosophers. In each of them the art of creation lingered. In each of them was the potential to create true beauty.
Sarah was one of these beautiful creatures now. Her thoughts carried her. She soared through the air on wings of color and light.
Any who witnessed this moment would be struck with the beauty of it. However, there was one who became particularly lost in the moment. This individual was truly lost watching Sarah soar on waves of color.
From a distance, from inside the dark woods, a creature watched Sarah. The creature was a woman with only one eye. In the shadows the creature could see Sarah soaring high upon the Sea of Glass. As this creature watched Sarah a tear dropped down her cheek from her single eye.
For the creature it was hard to describe why that tear flowed from that single eye. It was a tear of joy in seeing the beauty of Sarah as she flew. It was the tear of one dazzled by a magnificent sight.
However, in many ways it was also a tear of loss for what could have been. The gaunt woman looked at Sarah and saw all that she could have been. She saw all she was supposed to be. However, her life had turned out differently. Her life had turned out much differently.
In a world far away from the beauty of this glass world this creature’s father was laid off from his job. He could not find work after that and he became an alcoholic. He was often angry. He would spend the little money he had in bars. At night he would come home and beat this creature’s mother. Her mother would tell her not to look. The girl would be sent her to her room. She would do as she was told. However, even in the dar
k of her room she could hear the sounds of her mother crying. The sound of tears can shape a person’s life.
The girl could not take those sounds. She began to sneak out her house at night. She did this to be free. She did this for silence from tears.
She had a group of friends. Many of them were like her. They were referred to as burn outs. It was strange to be so young and already seen as a waste. The girl would try to block out the sadness of her life with her friends. She drank. She did drugs. She was trying to drown out the sounds of her mother’s cries.
She dropped out of school as she lived a life of trying to forget.
One night she went to a party. There she met a man. He was funny. He was nice. He paid attention to her. He also had drugs. Together they did some cocaine in a bathroom. It was good quality. He told her he had more back at his place.
The girl got in the man’s truck and they drove away from the party together. She realized after a while that he was driving her out of the city. He was driving to a wooded area.
The girl began to feel uncomfortable.
“Let’s go back to the party,” she said.
“It’s cool,” the man sad. He turned to her and smiled. “We’re almost there.”
He took her to a small house in the woods. They got out of his truck and he led her inside the house. The lights were off as she stepped into the house. Too late she knew what was going on. An instant later she felt a blow to the back of her head.
When she regained consciousness she was tied to a bed.
The man did things to her. He did horrible things. He enjoyed them very much. Every day she could feel her body becoming more and more desecrated. She could not see what horrors were being inflicted upon her. There were no mirrors in the room. Every day all she could do was imagine the grotesque thing that she was becoming. She based this on the pain of each day. She based this on the cutting and the burns.
She knew she was now hideous.
One day he took out one of her eyes. She heard him laugh as he did this. Through her one good eye, through the pain, she saw him place the eye he had stolen in a glass jar. He put the jar on a shelf on the wall opposite the bed. He then cut out her tongue. Her tongue too went into a jar on the shelf.
The man was in a near state of joy as he did this. He then told her that he was going to start cutting her into tiny pieces and put each piece into a different jar. He told her he would leave her with one good eye so she could see the collection as it grew. He said next he would cut her ears off. He left the room to go get more tools.
With her one good eye she stared at the jars on the shelf. There were so many jars there. Her mind could not bring itself to count them. Only two jars were filled.
She could take no more. She could hear the man returning to the room he kept her in. His steps were heavy. He was whistling as he returned.
Suddenly, the girl’s mind snapped and bent.
As the door opened something in the girl’s mind happened. Something in her leapt. Her soul, her essence leapt in desperation. It reached out. Her mind screamed....and suddenly she was away. She saw a tunnel appear and the girl was falling through it.
A part of her leapt into the strange tunnel. It was the only part that mattered. It was her soul. She left her physical form as a husk in that place of misery. Her butcher returned to find a corpse.
Now in this strange forest, in this strange glass world, she was some kind of energy. She was a ghost. She was a ghost of what could have been. She was a ghost of what was.
As she looked at Sarah soaring through the sky on wings of color she saw another version of herself. She saw a good life. She saw a happy life. She saw a life where tears of sadness were instead tears of joy. As the creature stared at Sarah she saw beauty instead of horror.
These are all the reasons why in the woods a girl who had once been known as Sarah Guzman cried from her one good eye. The tears were from seeing herself in a life that was not like the one she knew. The tears were from knowing that somewhere she existed differently. She existed clean and whole. She existed beautiful. She existed happy. Instead of a wretched creature in the dark she soared in the sky like an angel.
Sarah watched herself from the darkness. She watched and cried for who she was and who she could have been.
***
The Philosophical Principles of Death. The Scripture of Farinata Uaegli Abertio.
Gospel 000144
In this city in which we dwell we reflect inward. We follow paths. We seek the one true path that will lead us to the point where the ultimate salvation exists.
We seek to reach the path as a goodness to those in existence who were not blessed with the truth that God has granted us.
It is for them that we carve our way through creation.
We are our brother’s keeper.
We are his protector.
We are his salvation
We seek the one true path so that we may usher our brothers and sisters to the final salvation of un-existence…
Verse Eleven: Fractured
Every day the emotions that Sarah felt for Patrick intensified. They would talk to each other, however, there was something about Patrick that always stayed guarded.
As time went on Patrick exceled far beyond the rest of them. All the children knew his mind was superior, but he never ever acknowledged the compliments of others. Compliments seemed to make him uncomfortable.
Patrick was still a loner amongst the group. He stayed in the city and mostly appeared for classes. Though he would sometimes sit with Sarah and talk he seemed to prefer solitude. After classes he would frequently disappear completely.
One day curiosity got the better of Sarah. After a history class Sarah saw Patrick walking alone, lost in thought. She began to follow him. She wanted to see where this quiet and brilliant boy would spend his solitude. She followed him through the streets of the city.
Eventually he disappeared into one of the buildings. Sarah knew the building well. It was the music building. In it were a multitude of instruments from throughout the many Verses. They children all learned to play different ones.
Sarah opened the door to the building. It opened to a long hallway that led towards the music room. When she entered the building she felt a wave of beauty wash over her. Sarah could hear music. The sound reverberated off the stone walls of the hallway she was in.
Sarah walked down the hallway and peeked around the corner. She saw Patrick sitting at a piano. His eyes were closed. His long dark hair fell over his face. He was playing the most beautiful piece of music that Sarah had ever heard. As he played Sarah could see a pained expression on his face. She found that she could feel the pain he was feeling. She could hear it in his music. Each note was a piece of his soul.
In this moment Sarah could feel Patrick. She could feel his heart. She could see his beauty. She could see the brilliance in his eyes even though now they were closed.
Sarah turned around. She turned so she could lean against the hallway wall. She too closed her eyes. The music followed her into the darkness of her mind’s eye. It enveloped her. The beauty of this young man's soul intoxicated her. It felt like she was flying. She was flying and lost in a way that was close to heaven.
Sarah wrapped her arms around herself. She was hugging herself. She slid down the wall and fell to the ground. She was crying. It was hard to say why. She felt freedom in listening to the music in a way that made no sense. She had not been a prisoner in this place for some time but in this moment her mind was truly free. Her mind was free with Patrick's mind.
With each note he played Patrick articulated his sorrows perfectly. As she wrapped her arms around her shoulders it was Patrick she was embracing. She felt connected to him in a way that was truly hard to express with mere words.
Before this moment she had never heard the piece of music that Patrick was playing. She understood that the piece had no name. It was just music. It was music that he was letting pour from his heart.
How strange a thing it was, Sarah thought. It was a genius improvising alone and performing a piece of music he would never play again. Had Mozart done this, Sarah wondered. Alone in his room had he played a masterpiece of music just to get his thoughts out? If he had that moment was lost forever. It was pure art for the sake of art. True art was done for no one. True art was done for oneself. As Sarah thought of this she thought that for those who missed the moment what a true tragedy it was. As Patrick played each note was a thought. Each measure was a statement.
It was a statement of heartbreak. It was as if Patrick’s soul was fractured and that understanding broke Sarah’s heart.
When the music stopped Sarah quietly left the music hall. However, she would return often. She returned when she knew Patrick was alone and playing the piano. She would stand behind her wall and listen to the concerts that Patrick would give in his solitude. Sarah felt a richness in her life from listening to these moments. She thought maybe she would record these pieces for him. Her mind was smart enough to remember each note he played. She could write the music down. She could create a journal for him and give it back to him. He could see the thought process of who he was unfolded in paper.
In the end she knew she would not do that. That would be a violation of his heart. She felt guilty as it was listening to him without him knowing. However, she could not bring herself to stop. For her, listening to Patrick play, was intoxicating. It was a perfect drug.
Then one day as she sat behind her wall Patrick began playing a new piece. It was beautiful in a way that was above all the other pieces she had heard him play before. It was so beautiful that she could not help but peek around the corner. It was so perfect that she needed to see the composer of this beauty as he played.
When she turned around the corner she saw Patrick sitting with his eyes closed as always. He was completely lost in the moment and in the intensity of the music.
Prisons of Stolen Dreams Page 17