Claire stares at me. “I know you like it when I talk, but this is the last example. Opioids. The external chemicals replicate the function and go beyond that of endogenous opioids, some would argue.”
I remember now. “You mean like dynorphins and endorphins?”
She smiles through this factual death march I've put her on. “Yes. The biggest cause of addiction is opioids stimulating the release of dopamine. As you should know, I’m talking about you. Dopamines are the brain’s reward mechanism for doing beneficial activities. It can come from social status or even eating. Endogenous opioids are used for more than just pain relief.”
“What are some complications of excessive opioid use?” I push myself ahead of Claire, but it hurts.
Claire shakes her head and speeds up. “As with everything else, an increased dose is needed to overcome a tolerance to the drug.”
I miss a step and slow down. “Is there anything else just for opioids?”
She nods enthusiastically. “You mean hyperalgesia? That is increased sensitivity to pain. As you should know, the body has the ability to compensate for reduced stimulus. If a sense becomes impaired, the body becomes hyper-aware to that sense. This also occurs with the sensing of pain.”
A good conclusion should work well here. “Besides that it follows the same pattern as nicotine addiction.”
She slows after a good lead and just walks. The com keeps her audible. “Good, you are starting to recover from your loss of mental function. Now, we can do something fun. You can try meditating. Don’t worry. I’ll guide you through it.”
Claire takes off running. I mean flat-out as I pass her. She goes over the hill ahead and disappears, still fresh after so much time and distance. All I can manage is to keep jogging. I slowly catch up, hoping for nothing more than a brutally sore tomorrow. Alcohol addiction activates a similar dopamine pathway in the brain — something I should know before asking Claire. Why don’t I?
I reach the top of the hill, where the buildings stop. Claire sits on a bench near the trans-corridor, just outside the vine railing dividing the corridor and the natural landscape. Claire just looks off to the distance as I go and sit next to her.
Claire turns to me out of social contract. “Are you ready to start?”
I move a pebble out from under my foot. “Yes, Claire. Just tell me what to do.”
“You have to cross your feet. Something like this.” Claire removes her shoes, crosses her feet by putting each foot over the opposing knee. Her feet fold tightly together, looking painful.
I just lay one leg on top of the other and don’t attempt any interlocking. This should do.
“That’ll do, for now."
An ominous warming,
"This is more about security than anything else. Your entire body is near your senses or your head. You can know anything that is going to happen without looking. The first thing you will learn is how to focus on a singular point of experience. All meditation is defined by its focus on something.”
More simplistic than what I've heard, but we scientists classify everything to pieces. “Okay, how do I do that?”
“Your first goal is to focus on your pulse between two fingers." She examines the tip of her index finger and thumb. "You have to keep your back straight and be as relaxed as possible." She sits straighter than I thought possible, mildly contracts her belly, and lays her arms languid. "You can’t move for the duration. I suggest you use your thumb and index finger. Keep your hand like this." Not the ok with fingers unfurled, but a pinch of air and finger otherwise apart. "The fingertips of these two fingers should meet. At no other place should these fingers touch any other. Keeping the back of your palm on your knees or ankles is the best way.”
I try what she says. “I don’t think this is going to work.”
“Give me your finger.” She grabs my finger. I don’t allow her to have it. “You can trust me, Conor.” She squeezes my finger hard. “Can you feel your pulse?”
Just compression with a tingle. “No.”
“If I stop squeezing your finger, you will.” She lets go.
Each heartbeat triggers a tickle of sensation very near pain.
“I just increased your sensation by making the input stronger. You have to increase your sensitivity next. It is much harder, but it can be done with time and effort. Now, are you ready to try?”
Just get this over with. “Yes.”
Claire's eyes widen a little. “Just to warn you, it could take anywhere from 5 minutes to a couple of hours for you to feel something. You just have to keep trying to feel. If you move the contact point even a small amount, you have to start again. You can always try to find the same spot again for a shortcut.”
Let's do this. “Is that everything?”
“One more thing, try to reduce everything else. Closing your eyes is the biggest thing.”
I’m sitting there. This just feels completely stupid and overly imaginative for me. There is no way this is going to work. I just try it for some reason. My eyes are closed. Claire is still next to me. I just try to feel more.
Things Don't Stop, Ever
Wed 8/30/17 7:10 p.m.
At the nourisher, I decide what to eat before meeting Claire. I got tired of eating the same twenty things for the last month. I now just go through the menu, willing to try almost anything. The foreign language names just became too much. I set it up to just use plain English. I choose the next one on the list — mushroom and onion soup with dumplings and fried flat bread. I know that everything tastes better than it sounds. I have no idea where the recipe comes from, but it will be good.
I loiter around the nourisher for the food. A vibration on my wrist tells me it's ready. I open the louvered shelf, and a plate is waiting for me with a stack of three flatbreads. The round and thick breads, almost like pita bread accompanies a big bowl of the orange tinted soup — the liquid actually more translucent than anything with the mushrooms, onion, and dumplings, as promised. The dumplings and everything else soak up the broth and take on some of the color and taste. I take a taste of the soup. I just want to try some, alone.
I grab the spoon on the plate, scoop out a spoonful with mushrooms and onions, take it into my mouth, and I exquisitely taste every nuance it has to offer. The full, earthy taste from the mushroom lends its flavor to the weaker onion and broth. The onion with a slight crunch, unlike the softness of caramelized onions, features a sweetness that hasn’t been brought out all the way. The rest of the soup manages to tone down the remaining intensity to a different complex flavor, a slight sweet quality over laying the other flavors. The broth adds a slight sour note. Unmistakable warmth with the mild heat of chili in the back of everything else tastes good. I don’t have a clue what gives the broth this interesting taste.
I tear up a flatbread into pieces, bisecting a multitude of layers however successfully. An extremely crisp outer layer from the frying doesn’t feel oily, but the inner layers are a different story. This must keeps the layers separated during cooking, layers thin enough that just crumble with a touch. It reminds me of a pastry without the sugary sweet. I’m all set.
I get a spoonful of the soup with a little of everything., put a torn piece of flatbread on top, and put the whole thing in my mouth. The spoon extracted leaves me to start eating, engulfing my tongue in the rich flavors and textures of the soup. I bite through the upper layers of the flatbread, easily crunching through the paper thin membranes. The bottom layer absorbed the soup, becoming supple and soft with that leathery gluten quality intact. I finish chewing and swallow in a few secs and instantly take another mouthful.
This is just as good. I hear a voice in my head — food programming, again. I want to stop eating but can’t do it. The link cuts out when food quits entering my mouth. I resign to listen and eat. There shouldn’t be any new missions coming. The last one is still reverberating repercussions. So what is it?
Agent JB, we offer congratulations on your promotion to Active Field Agent s
tatus. You have shown superb skills in all your past work. This promotion gives you the opportunity to learn more and live up to your full potential. Now cleared for solo assault missions, we officially welcome you to the Security Division, Agent 1107.
In addition to new opportunities, new responsibilities come. As an official Agent, creating a mission paper for all future and previous missions falls to you. Focus the paper on any deviations for the mission report guidelines. We provided you all the mission docs from previous missions as an aide in this endeavor. You should possess them by the end of this transmission.
You responsibilities now extend to the internal security of the Research Department. The loc of equipment caches throughout the Stephens Institute escort this advancement. In the remote event of attack, you may use these supplies. It can’t be said enough. Do not access these caches unless in the event of infiltration, confrontation, or incursion. These caches remain of prime importance during such an event. Familiarize yourself with the contents and locations of these caches. In case of equipment malfunction, the components deal extra force over being ineffective. Good luck with the promotion.
Do you want to hear the next doc Equipment Caches and Contents?
“Yes.” I have nothing better to do, and it's the equipment list, so I can just listen for some stuff like new equipment and locs, which shouldn’t distract too much from my dinner.
Equipment Caches and Contents
The equipment caches loced in various places within the Stephens Institute should be your last option. Attempt every other scenario possible such as contacting the Security Division. The long duration storage causes issues with the equipment’s performance, which will always protect you without regard for the enemy. Use with caution.
Assault Suit - (loced in each cache.) A fabric matrix embedded with tech comprises the assault suit. Put on the fabric matrix and the interface nexus first. Activate the nexus. The tech emerges from the matrix to generate a metal ceramic exoskeleton — the contours and texture predicated on the use case. The nexus functions as a tech id.
Crack Drive -
Never used this before.
(loced in each cache.) The crack drive consists of a storage device that wirelessly transfers data from any tech. This bypasses the need for physical contact by a radius of 3 meters. The system needs authentication by a user to remove all physical connection. To use the drive, activate the drive near a logged in system and start a transfer. Due to the limited storage, a search recommended.
NLIT (Non-lethal Incapacitation Tool) - A disc-shaped device designed to mimic the look and function of a CART (Cardiac Arrest Recovery Tool). An authorized user chooses between the two functions. The NLIT deploys a small blade. Insert the blade into the base of the sternum of any intended target. The weapon sends a detrimental electrical pulse frequency that stops all electrical activity for a period of 15 min. Support tech or S-tech deployed into the target sustains the target for the 15 min period. The CART — placed anywhere on the patient and activated — deploys tech tendrils through the body to key locs. A beneficial electrical pulse frequency reestablishes a normal heart rhythm. The effects of the NLIT can’t be counter-acted by the CART. S-tech is the only possible solution with time. The NLIT continues functioning without a payload of S-tech. Every hallway and cache has a NLIT/CART.
Physical Id - (loced in each cache.) The V-tech solution which comprises the physical id needs application to the face. The V-tech interprets the surrounding into a sim data feed for personal tech, facilitating environmental awareness despite blockage of sensory organs. Any number of physical features can be selected and used. The use of physical id isn’t required. Many non-tech options available include face covering or hair growth and shortening.
Server Tech Injector - (loced in each cache.) The injector needs physical access to the circulation fluid of any organo-server to be used. The content of the injector inserts itself between the members of the server. It can then collect the data from the server. The transfer takes a few min to complete based on the cycling of the data through the server. The tech can be extracted and the data transferred out. Other use cases surround data deletion, data spoofing, and data concealment.
Tech Id - (loced in each cache.) This form of id masking consists of a node and app. Simply select a desired cover id for the node. The node suppresses your tech id in place of a cover id. Tech id broadcasts to anything you touch. The primary contact is the floors, mediated by your shoes, socks, or feet. This precaution is only required without an assault suit.
VNSP (Variable Nervous System Paralyzer) - (loced in each cache.) The VNSP — a dual-purpose weapon with lethal and non-lethal attack options — launches a projectile in either case. In the low setting, the metal projectile continually sends an electrical pulse frequency completely suppressing voluntary muscle movement. In the high setting, the principle works the same. The VNSP sends an alternate frequency that stops all peripheral nervous system activity. A payload of S-tech sustains necessary activity for 15 min. After this time, the projectile takes over killing the target. If the projectile is removed prior to this the target reawakens. The VNSP works in both modes without S-tech.
V-tech (Visual Tech) - (loced in each cache.) In this implementation — a form of active cloaking — V-tech generates a curtain of visual display. The displayed image shows what would be there if not for the tech and whatever it covers (other forms of detection are also circumvented). Suggested to be used in any A program or based on a recording. The V-tech has the added benefit of tracking individuals within its view. This data is available to you. Creating a new cloaking image isn’t recommended with time constraints. With age, some members of the V-tech stop working. This reduces the size of the screen configs.
This comprises the next step in your on-going training. The promotion to Field Agent remains nothing to frown at — an important distinction in many ways. As the Senior Agent on site, you are responsible for the security aspect. You have the ability to fill this new position. Good luck, Field Agent 1107.
Nonsensical Muse?
Wed 8/30/17 7:35 p.m.
I’m almost done reading Dr. Mekova’s study, “Cumulative Methodology to Recover Lost Memories in Traumatic Brain Injury” It looks the same as what I remember. I reach the end but keep looking down to see if anymore shows up. The pad just vibrates a few times, signaling nothing more to read. I move up and back down, just as an addition appears. Where did this come from? I knew there should be more, but still. It could be from the transfer in Kiros Stephens’ office. I start reading it.
Long Term Effects
The subjects continue reporting in to this day. The interval after the procedure varies from 1 to 12 months. Some trends noticed with the subjects are stated here. At some level, they sense that the implanted memories originate from an external source. The long term symptoms support this idea.
The subjects tend to make risky and uncharacteristic choices. This stems from the fact that anything resembling the implanted memories feels unnatural to the subject. They push themselves to do something totally unrelated to the implanted memories. They try a variety of things to find something that feels real to them. The treatment of choice rests with memory enhancer of any type
The subjects gain extraordinary mental and physical flexibility. They master any skill they deem worthy. They live unhindered by past experience. They commit totally to any change they want to make. There exists no need or desire to find treatment for this complication.
The subjects grow detail oriented. They look for any indication that they exist still in an implanted memory. The subject sees more than they have before. The desperate mind chooses to believe they are still within an implanted memory or they just didn’t notice before. This frequently doesn’t need treatment.
The subjects grow dissatisfied with the mundane nature of regular life, inundated with losing control to shape life. They attempt doing almost anything to prove they have a measure of power. This aberrant behavior needs
some treatment, such as an experience in a sim reality that dramatically changes with each action. This shows the deeper layers of the psyche that they have the power to make choices. The conscious mind stays aware of the sim, but the treatment works.
The symptoms of attention to detail and dissatisfaction with the same events are a corollary to the symptoms of paranoia. This long eliminated disease that continues to have relevance in many instances. The intense focus on detail — identical. Counter to doubts of normalcy, suffers of paranoia draw suspicions of abnormal occurrences. The heightened senses of paranoia assist survival in dangerous situations. Prolonged exposure causes major complications for the wellbeing of the mind. Follow the clearly established treatment. With time, the long term side-effects of memory recovery dissipate.
Something eerily familiar about that addition comes through. I search for a reason why. The best way arrives, just filter out the extra stuff. What are the trends? First: making risky decisions. Next: ability to mentally and physically change in a drastic way, flexibility. The last two appear related to paranoia — extremely detail oriented and dissatisfaction with a stable life. That's everything it says.
I should come up with examples of each. The study makes vague generalizations. What are some easily identifiable signs? If I saw someone with some of these symptoms, what are specific examples to look for?
Some uncharacteristic choices? Something new. Extreme go-seating — something I tried for the Division. Not even that odd. Some people do extreme stuff with trains. They provide the perfect platform for anything that needs speed of 1,500 kph. Flying attracts a lot of people. They climb on top of the train in a flight suit, tie themselves off, and do the fun part by releasing the wings and flying. Flying through rings from the tech screen adds a skill component. The other thing with trains — jumping. The goal remains stopping the quickest. There is a lot of safety equipment with either choice.
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