by M. C. Miller
“I don’t care how original it was. Maybe it was too original.”
Sara tried to intervene. “What is it? Programmed Species Death?”
Faye preempted Janis from getting in a quick answer. “It was the topic of my paper, a theory I came up with.”
“Admit it; it was science fiction; good science fiction, but fiction nonetheless.”
Faye glanced at Janis but continued to answer Sara. “The premise was taken from a reasonable inference. In cellular biology, there’s something called Programmed Cell Death. It’s a known fact. At various times, certain cells in the body commit suicide.”
“Suicide?” Sara sat back. “That sounds strange.”
“Not at all,” added Faye. “It’s by design, other times it happens in reaction to disease; Programmed Cell Death is a natural fact. Either way, it’s useful.”
Smiling, Janis butted in. “Yeah, if it wasn’t for PCD, humans would have webbed feet and fingers and much worse oddities.”
“PCD is great at getting rid of unwanted or damaged cells. If this didn’t happen, they’d reproduce and create defective tissue and organs.”
“All true, very true,” added Janis, “but where you took it was a big jump.”
“Why? If a system like PCD operates in the body, why is it such a stretch to think something similar might operate in nature, regulating species?”
“It’s a perfectly good idea – for science fiction, but there’s absolutely no evidence that anything of the sort is going on.”
“Maybe because no one’s looking for it.”
“They were teaching us science; it wasn’t a speculation class.”
“And how does science come about?”
“Observations and experiments on something real.”
“Millions of species have come and gone. What if there’s more to it than natural selection? When cells get old or damaged, or when they don’t form right in utero, apoptosis is triggered. All I was suggesting is that the same thing could happen to whole genomes. There might be a natural process that genetically triggers the extinction of species – for the good of nature, in the same way.”
Janis nodded, “And that’s the leap of faith that makes it science fiction.”
Sara gathered up the empty dessert plates. “There’s no sense arguing about it.”
Under breath, Janis muttered, “There’s little sense to it at all.”
Faye leaned across the table, getting in Janis’ face. “Go on, sit there, you know so much.”
“I know fact from fiction.”
“What if Programmed Species Death is extremely rare?”
“Like unicorns?”
“What if nature has only used it once or twice in three billion years? You think there might be a chance we missed it?”
“Next you’ll be claiming it killed off the dinosaurs.”
“OK, even if you’re right and there’s no evidence it’s ever happened. Maybe it’s a natural process that’s never been used before. It’s always been there but Nature holds it in reserve, just in case it’s needed for its own survival.”
“Oh, I get it; you wanted your senior paper to be on the mysteries of Gaia.”
“The human body has all kinds of autonomic systems. Are they mysterious to you? Why do white blood cells rush to defend the body? Who told them to? Why do some kinds of T-cells keep a memory of past diseases you’ve had? Is there a ghost in the machine? Why can’t nature do the same thing? We already know that patterns in nature repeat.”
“Anything’s possible in the land of what-if.”
“Don’t look now but we’re all living there.” With so much flooding to mind, Faye was driven to a darker, harder edge to cut through Janis’ dismissive attitude. “You think those things I told you in the park in D.C. were made up just to get you to do something. You’ve convinced yourself this whole thing was orchestrated to manipulate you – I know, because if you really believed it, you’d understand how close we are to a real Programmed Species Death.”
“Why should I believe you? You’re a tool of who knows what.”
“Doesn’t matter, doesn’t change the facts. A billion kids are sterile. I’ve seen the evidence. I’ve been in the lab and studied the agent that did it. Whether that happened because we did it to ourselves or Nature did it, I don’t know. One thing’s for sure; when you finally come round to realize it’s not about delayed fertility, it’s about sterility, you’ll think twice about what you call science fiction.”
“You never change. Still trusting of anything official, forever wedded to your delusions.”
“Am I?” Faye stood up. “You had Alyssa. She’s healthy and whole. You can sit there and be smug. Everything comes easy for you, isn’t that right.”
Janis jumped up. “You’ll never forgive me, will you! I took Colin. I had a baby. I moved on. It’s my name on GenLET. I had a life! Well, so did you! Don’t lecture me on what’s happening to the fucking world. There’s a madman out there about to kill six billion people. You’re the one in denial. For some ungodly reason, you and your handlers are covering up for him.”
Faye was too upset to yell back. “As usual, you’ve got it wrong. But I guess that’s another thing that comes your way too easily.”
Janis stormed out of the room, collected her coat and marched outside, slamming the front door behind her. Faye slumped back down, tears in her eyes.
Sara stood at the kitchen sink, her hands shaking, her hopes for the evening blown apart. “I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”
Faye’s eyes stayed downcast. “Nothing’s normal any more.”
“That thing you said – about all those children being sterile. Is that true?”
Faye nodded. “It’s a nightmare. You mustn’t tell anyone. I shouldn’t have said anything. She just got me so worked up.”
Sara came back to the table and took Faye’s hand. “You have to go after her. You two need each other.”
“What good would it do? She only agreed to come with me because I promised she’d see Alyssa.”
“Did you mean that?”
Faye nodded. “Alyssa is being protected – for a special reason.”
“Then go after Janis. She wants Alyssa more than anything.”
“That doesn’t mean she’ll listen.”
“That’s ridiculous. You two are still having an argument that started long ago – and it isn’t about your senior paper. If you can’t get past that, then at least put it aside. Talk to her about what needs to happen now.”
“She has to be open to it. She has to calm down first.”
“No. That’s the worst thing to do.” Sara was emphatic. “I know her. If she calms down like this, her mind will be set. You’ll never get through to her.”
“Once I get her in the lab, she’ll see the evidence.”
“Evidence of what? Unless you can prove that Eugene Mass is not planning this thing she calls 3rd Protocol, she’s going to resist. I would too. She already told you she thinks you and the government are probably involved with him.”
Faye looked up. “Do you think that? Have I given that impression?”
Sara hesitated. “All I know is, Janis is convinced something’s wrong. I don’t believe you’d do such a thing. But I can’t speak for the government or what they told you. If I were you, I’d make sure I wasn’t being used.”
Faye’s own doubts resurfaced; a month of reluctant revelations from Colin came back to haunt her. Janis and she might have little but the past in common, but at least they could agree to go after the truth here and now.
“All right, I’ll try.” Faye stood and gave Sara a hug before getting a coat and heading out the front door. With weather so frosty, there was only one place to look for Janis. The boat house.
With hand buried deep in pockets, Faye set out at a healthy pace. Twilight was bright in the western sky and the settling air was calm and cold. The only sound was the crunch of snow underfoot or the errant call of a Pine Grosbeak in th
e far woods.
Along the footpath, the surroundings were familiar yet dreamlike. She knew the farm’s extended grounds as if they were a favorite story told often but far too long ago; very little had changed. And yet, to come back in winter had her walking through a landscape out-of-sync with summer memories. Everywhere she saw reminders of something once enjoyed, something gone. All that was left was an ache, a regret. She wouldn’t wake up from a reality that included Granite Peak Installation, the cursed mystery of Ghyvir-C, and the barren hopes of her unborn child.
At the boat house, Faye saw no light, only Janis’ footprints leading onward in the snow. Faye followed the meandering path through light woods down to the frigid shoreline. There she found Janis, hugging herself for warmth and staring out across the frozen lake. She’d been crying but pretended she hadn’t.
Faye pretended they hadn’t argued but pulsed with the adrenaline of anger.
Shivering, she settled alongside Janis and took in the view.
“Now I know why we never came here in winter.”
Janis gazed up through bare branches. “Were summers really that good?”
The question took Faye off-guard. To keep the conversation going, she was obliged to answer. “Yeah, they were good…”
“…but like anything out of reach, they seem even better now.”
“We could say the same thing about ourselves. Are we really that different?”
Janis turned her head and looked at Faye. “Someone told me once that true success was having no regrets. I don’t know about that anymore.”
“I think most people have something they’d like to do over or make right.”
“Perhaps, but most people aren’t successful – not really.”
“What do you regret?”
Janis took time to consider. “I regret the creation of GenLET. I should have known it would be put to no good.”
“How so?”
“Oh, it’s just a feeling I have, but it’s just begun.”
“If we only knew all the stuff going on.”
“All of us can be such useful idiots. Useful for what we know but idiots for the way we keep expecting a different outcome.”
Faye considered her own circumstances. “I know I didn’t want to believe what I saw. I wouldn’t have believed it if Ghyvir’s sputnik wasn’t right in front of me.”
“So they lied to us. Why are we always surprised?”
“It’s not just that. It’s the idea of crafting something so elegant, so advanced, and yet so utterly malicious.”
Janis sighed. “It’s all a matter of degree. Create one bullet to kill one person, it’s quite acceptable. Create one bullet that kills everybody, suddenly it seems evil.”
“I guess if I was a pessimist, all of this would have been predictable.”
“Yeah, think of that. If it was predicted, maybe it could have been prevented. But it takes a pessimist to see it.”
“Or even believe it’s possible.” Faye prompted. “If we can’t see what’s coming, then let’s reconstruct the past. It’s the only way to find out what we’re facing now.”
“Easier said than done.”
Faye couldn’t help herself. She offered a conciliatory smile. “But things come so easily for you…”
Janis didn’t smile. She met Faye halfway by letting all reflex anger drain away. “What are you after?”
Quick to be direct, Faye seized the opportunity. “The sputnik’s payload contained a designer suicide gene so the sputnik died once the payload was delivered. What if we track the source of the payload? Was it something corporate, military, or rogue?”
Janis was two steps ahead. “You want me to contact Knockout Mouse. He stole the GAMA that got dumped in the Sargasso Sea…”
“Yes, as far as we know. That GAMA had a suicide gene in it. I’d be curious to see what kind of information you can get out of him.”
“It’s a touchy subject. I can give it a try.”
“We have so little to go on. At least we can compare suicide genes.”
“So you admit you don’t trust what they’ve given you.”
“I know I’m not being told the whole story.”
Janis stepped away down the shore. “It’s much more likely you’re being told the wrong story.”
“It doesn’t make sense. Give me a good reason why and maybe I’ll believe it.”
“A good reason? There’s nothing good about making one bullet that kills all people.”
“You realize what you’re suggesting. The government, as a matter of policy, wants to collapse the population. That’s what you believe?”
“I don’t know how things are being manipulated. Eugene Mass has worked on this for a long time. He’s clever. I’ve met him, you know.”
Faye followed Janis to a new spot. “All right. I’m not going to argue it. We’ll get the information on the GAMA and take it from there. Agreed?”
Janis nodded and then pointed to the lake. “Remember this spot?”
Faye was caught mid-thought. She looked around. “Not really. Why?”
“Remember six of us in a boat?” Janis’ mood lightened. “You and I went overboard to go for a swim…”
A memory jumped to mind. Faye knew the story and where Janis was going with it. “I remember. We got in the water…”
“I decided to take my suit off.”
“Then you dared me to do the same.”
“You didn’t have to. You gave in to peer pressure.”
Faye felt a flush of embarrassment return as if it was yesterday. “That wasn’t enough for you, was it?”
Janis feigned innocence. “I didn’t suggest we race…”
“Oh, no – but you encouraged it. Don’t blame it all on the boys.”
“It was all their idea – race to shore; the winner gets her swimsuit back.”
Faye stared out at the frozen surface. “And what was the loser supposed to do?”
Janis laughed. “It was all in fun. You could have beaten me.”
“Not likely. That water was cold. I wasn’t used to it.”
“No big deal. You survived.”
“You didn’t have to run up to the house naked.”
“You could have stayed in the water until they went away.”
“Yeah, like that was going to happen. With the way I was shivering? They knew they could outwait me.”
Seeing the seriousness of Faye’s reaction, Janis lost all humor. The cares of the present pressed in on her once again. “Look at it this way; compared to everything we know now, maybe it wasn’t so bad.”
Faye offered a weak smile. “Yeah…”
“If I could, I’d go back and trade places with you…if it would make any difference…if it would change things.”
Faye stuffed a flood of feeling. “Like you said, true success is having no regrets. I guess we’ll both have to work on that.”
Janis nodded, hugged herself, then started up the path.
Faye took one more look at the cove where they swam the race. They were headed up the bank again, only this time there’d be no winners. For both of them, there was only a sense of being exposed and vulnerable.
Along the path, darkness had taken hold of the woods. Last light teased the sky. Without saying anything more, they made their way back to the main house. Sara had a fire going. There was time for a quiet evening, oolong tea and cookies, and plenty of fire-gazing. As it got later, Faye went upstairs to change clothes. Janis retreated to the den to use Sara’s computer.
It didn’t take long to write the email to Knockout Mouse.
It had been a long day. Too tired to make other arrangements, Janis and Faye prepared to sleep in the same room, in the matching beds. There was no sense disappointing Sara.
As Faye climbed between the sheets, Janis headed back to the den. In her hand was a small package, something that had come for her in the mail while she was away. It didn’t take long to open it and do what she needed to do.
In no t
ime at all, she was back upstairs, crawling under the covers.
It was so much like it had once been, but not in a way that made any difference.
Sleep at the lake house had always meant a deep rest. All three of them fully expected to sleep late the next morning. But that was before the helicopter hovered over the house at 6:00 a.m.
That was before the knock at the door and the shouts of authority.
That was before Janis and Faye were taken into custody by federal agents.
As they were being led outside to waiting SUVs, Faye saw it in Janis’ face.
“What have you done?” Faye’s question seemed almost rhetorical.
Janis knew it was anything but.
They drove off too quickly for proper goodbyes. Sara was left standing on the porch in shock. Janis said nothing and Faye was too worried to ask her any questions within earshot of an agent.
They were rushed to an open field just down the road where the helicopter had landed and waited with rotors spinning. Hustled aboard, they sat flanked by agents. As soon as they were buckled in, the chopper took to the air at top speed headed south. Faye couldn’t stand it any more. She turned to Janis.
“Do you know what this is about?”
Janis saw no reason to be coy; Faye would find out soon enough. “After you went to bed, I posted something to the internet.”
“You had something at the house?”
“Yes. I mailed myself something – from Marseille.”
For Faye, the consequences were obvious. “You didn’t!”
Janis was stoic. “Did you really think I was going to let them hide the truth?”
Faye was furious. “You used me!”
Janis stared her down. “You don’t have access to Alyssa, do you? You were only told that to get me on The Project. You think I’m that naive?”
“Damn it! Everything you said at the park – it was all just to get loose so you could get up here and do this.”
Janis was enthused. “It’s out everywhere now…the memo, all the stuff about 3rd Protocol. There’s no way they can pull it back.”
“You have no idea what you’ve done!”
“Neither do you. You think they tell you anything?”
“There are good reasons not to upset things.”