“Stop it.”
“I’ll try.”
“Try harder.”
The waitress arrives with our food, and I have to admit that Cohen’s pork dish looks much more appetising than my pasta.
“Do you want a bite?” he asks, forking a piece for me.
I nod. He reaches over the table, putting the food in front of my lips, waiting for me to open them. I oblige, and soon the delicious taste of the pork hits my tongue. “It’s so good.”
“I know,” he says, smirking.
“Do you want some of mine?” I ask, a little shyly.
He nods, so I do the same as he did to me. He chews thoughtfully and swallows, then smirks again. “Yeah, mine is better. Just order whatever I do next time.”
“Jerk,” I mutter, making him laugh.
“Do you want to trade?”
My eyes widen. “You’d do that?”
“Sure,” he says, then adds, “For you.”
We stare into each other’s eyes.
Fuck.
It’s me who looks away first. “It’s okay, the pasta is good too.”
“Jacinta,” he says a little hesitantly, making me look up from my food.
“Yeah?”
“Nothing.” He puts his fork down, seeming a little frustrated. A muscle ticks in his jaw.
“Tell me, Cohen. You know whatever you say stays between us,” I tell him, encouraging him to speak whatever is on his mind.
“I like you,” he starts. “But I don’t date, I’m just not that kind of guy. You deserve more than I could ever offer but, at the same time, I can’t stay away. So, I don’t know what the fuck to do.”
“Giving me honesty back, huh?” I tease, trying to lighten the tension between us.
“I like you too,” I admit in a small voice. “I don’t know, Cohen. We work together, so everything would have to be in secret. And what do you mean you don’t date?”
“I just have different views on the whole dating and love thing,” he says, now looking at his plate. “I don’t know, I’m just not a traditional kind of guy. If you want commitment, marriage and children, I’m not the man to even consider that with.”
“I do want those things… eventually,” I reply, wondering why his views are as such in the first place. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want him, whatever he has to offer, for now. I’m not thinking of the future, I’m thinking of the present. I don’t want to be married right now.
“If you want some fun then I’m your guy,” he says, flashing me his charming smile. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. I want you to know what you’ll be getting into.”
Still confused by what he means exactly, I decide to focus on the ‘him being unable to stay away’ part. He likes me. I like him. It shouldn’t be more complicated than that, but it is.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” he murmurs, glancing down at the table. “Let’s just enjoy our lunch.”
I don’t even feel like eating anymore after that, my stomach full of butterflies, but I try.
Cohen Lake likes me.
I try not to smile.
*****
Back at work, Sadie is sending me screenshots of something Ian sent her, telling me how cute he is, how nice and different he is from other men. I’m torn between rolling my eyes and hoping she’s right this time. I don’t want to see my best friend get hurt again, although when she jumps into things, it’s almost inevitable. I don’t want to act like a bitch though; I want to support her and be there for her no matter what happens. I almost fall off my chair when the second screenshot comes in. It’s of her and Ian’s convo, and it shows where she accidentally sent him a screenshot.
Of their conversation.
Oh, fuck.
I type back furiously, asking her what he said about it. Would he be angry? I would if I found out someone was screenshotting my conversation. I almost want to laugh though. How the hell did she manage to send it to him? I guess I’ll have to wait until I go home to hear the whole story. Cohen is gone for the rest of the day, which gives me time to think about what happened at lunch. I didn’t expect him to say any of those things; even though I know there’s a connection between us, that doesn’t mean we’re going to explore it. Now that he’s brought it up though, is it an option? When he says he doesn’t date, what does that mean exactly? I need to ask him again, to be clearer. Maybe he just doesn’t like the label, because our lunch date today felt like an actual date, not just a lunch between two people who happen to work together. Maybe I’m just imagining something that’s not there, who knows. I don’t know how Sadie does it; this dating world is going to drive me mad.
Or not dating, as it were.
Shit.
*****
I’m reading a book when I hear Sadie call my name. I head into the living room, about to ask her what she wants, when I see Cohen standing there. Sadie disappears, leaving us alone.
“You know, you could have called” is the first thing that leaves my mouth. I would have at least changed out of my giraffe pyjamas.
“I know,” he replies, not looking sorry in the least. “But I wanted to see you.”
“Okay,” I say, holding my hand out to him.
He takes it.
I bring him to my room and he sits down on the bed while I remain standing. That is until he takes my hand and pulls me closer to him, then onto his lap.
“Cohen,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around him. “Is everything okay?”
“It will be,” he says, right before he presses his lips against mine. The kiss starts off so gentle, so sweet, until it turns into something more. Until passion takes over. His tongue against mine, Cohen Lake gives me the best kiss I’ve ever had. His hand is at my nape, bringing me as close as I can be against his body, his mouth so perfect on mine.
I want more.
I slide off his lap, stand in front of him and push him back on the bed, going down with him. His eyes, the darkest green I’ve seen them so far, don’t leave mine, and I swear I see a little amusement flash in them at me taking control. I slam my lips back down onto his, kissing him hungrily, releasing all the pent-up want I’ve had for him since the first time I laid eyes on him. His hands roam down my body, cupping my ass and squeezing gently. I moan against his lips, then move my own down his jaw to his neck. He mutters “Fuck” under his breath, which just turns me on even more. I want him naked. I want his skin pressed against mine. He must have the same idea, because he rolls me over so he’s on top, making my breath hitch. He pulls his t-shirt off, giving me the first look at his muscled body.
Holy shit.
I run my fingers down his six-pack, like a kid in a candy store. “I’ve never seen one of these up close in real life.”
Cohen looks down at me and starts laughing. “Fucking hell, Jacinta.”
“I’m serious,” I say, sitting up and licking right down the centre. “Your body is… Wow.”
Smooth, toned chest, ripped biceps, those sexy-ass V’s that I’ve only ever seen on TV. I feel like I need to take a photo to remember this moment forever.
“Now the pants,” I demand, wanting to see what else he’s working with.
“First your top and bra,” he counters, licking his lips, his eyes on my breasts. Fair is fair, so I remove my pyjama top and white bra, which isn’t lace, because I wasn’t expecting to get laid tonight. I lie back down, letting him have a good view, then slide down my pants. I’m not wearing any panties, since I decided to go commando after my shower tonight. I have to be grateful that I shaved… down there, or this would have been an extremely awkward moment.
“You’re so beautiful, Jacinta,” he says in a husky tone. “Fucking perfect.”
I’m not, but I appreciate the sentiment. Cohen removes his jeans and boxers, then slides back on the bed on his knees, completely naked. I want to take in everything about him, but all I can do is stare at his cock.
It’s big.
No, ‘big’ isn’t a good enoug
h word.
It’s huge.
Long and thick.
Magnificent.
It deserves its own Wiki page.
“I want,” I blurt out, my mouth suddenly watering. His cock shakes around, and I realise it’s because he’s laughing, and his whole body is shaking with it. I sit up and grab his cock, which immediately stops his amusement. I stroke him from top to bottom, then take him into my mouth, or at least as much of him as I can. Sliding my mouth up and down, I follow the sounds he makes, using them as cues to figure out what he likes best. I take him as deep as I can, wanting to please him, but also because I just really enjoy giving head. I actually do, and I think that’s what makes me good at it.
Cohen pushes my hair off my face, and pulls it back with his hand, holding it back like a ponytail. The gentle tugs on my scalp feel amazing and urge me on, so I suck harder, take him deeper. I play with his balls, cupping gently and enjoying the feel of them in my hands. He gently pushes me off his cock and drops to his knees, kneeling before the bed. He spreads my legs, and then his mouth is on my pussy, licking, sucking and teasing me like a man starving. I thread my fingers through his hair, lifting my head so I can see what he’s doing. Watching him turns me on even more. I love seeing his tongue peeking out, and I love the feeling it gives me even more. My orgasm hits me out of nowhere, my thighs trembling as wave after wave of pleasure takes over me. I let go of his hair and grip onto the sheets instead, my nails digging into them. I allow my eyes to close and my head to fall back, just feeling. In this moment, there is nothing but Cohen and me, nothing but the pleasure we can bring each other. Right now, nothing else matters.
Fuck the world.
“Fuck,” I whisper, coming back to myself, opening my eyes and looking straight into his. He pulls back and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, a satisfied expression on his face. “Cohen?”
“Yeah,” he rumbles, moving to brace himself over me, his hard cock pointing right at me like it wants me, badly.
I take it in my hand, spread my legs wide, and lead it to my entrance. “I’m on the pill.”
“I’m clean,” he says quickly, looking down at my pussy and licking his lips. “Always use condoms.” He pauses, bringing his gaze back to mine. “But I want you like this.”
“Okay,” I whisper, my breath hitching as he slides inside me. I know it’s not my smartest move, but right now I couldn’t care less, especially as Cohen’s mouth slams down onto mine, and his hips start to move. My nails on his back, I move with him, kissing him back with everything I have. Suddenly, he pulls out, rolls me over onto my stomach, lifts my hips so I’m on my knees and slides into me from behind. I reach my arms out in front of me, holding onto the pillow. He slides in and out, then reaches between my thighs to play with my clit with one hand, the other in my hair.
“Cohen,” I grit out, the pleasure almost too much, every sensation making me want to scream.
“So fucking perfect, Jacinta,” he says in a low, husky tone. “Just like I knew you’d be. I want you to come again for me.”
With the pressure he’s putting on my clit, I will definitely be coming again for him. I’ve never come more than once during sex, but I think he’s about to change that statistic for me. Moments later, he proves me right, and this time, I moan his name through the ecstasy. I’m dazed and sated when he rolls me onto my back before sliding into me once more.
“I want to see your eyes when I come inside you,” he growls, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip as his thrusts become harder, deeper. I’ve never had sex like this in my life. I lift my hips to meet his, watching his facial expression as he finishes, our gaze never once leaving one another’s. He rests his forehead against mine, closing his eyes for a second. He then presses a gentle kiss to my lips before pulling out of me and lying by my side, our arms touching. I realise then that we left the light on the whole time, another first for me. Wow, he really would have seen every inch of me. Nothing is left hidden to him now, which is quite a vulnerable feeling.
“Are you okay?” he asks, turning and cupping my cheek.
“Yeah,” I reply lazily, smiling. I’m more than okay—I’m fucking great. “Did you come over with this intention?”
“No. I came here because I just had this urge to be around you,” he admits, sounding surprised. At himself?
“Well, I’m glad you did,” I say, licking my lips.
He kisses my bare shoulder, and I have to wonder why this man is so against commitment. We didn’t have sex without emotion just now. No, sex without emotion is boring, and doesn’t leave you feeling like I am now. I’m not stupid enough to think I can change his mind, of course; if this is all we can be then, for now, that’s fine. I know eventually I’ll have to let him go, or whatever, but I’ll let future me worry about that. Men like Cohen are the ones you never forget, the ones you’ll be thinking about for the rest of your life. Men like him stick with you, but they’re also the ones who never stay.
“Me too,” he whispers, pulling me into his arms. He pushes my hair off my damp face. “I think that now you can say you’re a rebel.”
I roll my eyes and kiss his jaw.
I don’t know what will come next but, right now, I’m on cloud nine.
Chapter Eight
Cohen leaves early the next morning to go home and get ready for work. He kneels by my side of the bed before he leaves, giving a half-asleep me a kiss and telling me that he’ll see me at work. I mumble good-bye, then roll over and bury myself in my sheets. I hear him chuckle, then exit my room.
My alarm goes off not soon after, so I force myself out of bed and into the shower. Flashbacks of last night rushing through my head, I can’t stop smiling and blushing as I get dressed for work. Sadie has coffee and a knowing smile ready for me when I walk into the kitchen.
“Sleeping with your boss, hey?” she teases, handing me my mug.
“Don’t start,” I reply, smiling at her. My smile drops when I think of something. “You didn’t hear us last night, did you? That would be awkward.”
“I didn’t hear anything,” she says, waving her hand in the air. I breathe a sigh of relief until she adds, “Just Cohen’s name moaned over and over again.”
I throw her a look that dares her to continue. “I keep ear phones handy for whenever you have a guy spending the night, so maybe you should do the same.”
“Does that mean he’s going to be coming back?” she asks, looking curious.
“I hope so,” I admit, blushing as I stare into my coffee, avoiding Sadie’s eyes when I realise what I sound like.
“Just be careful, Jacinta. You can’t lose your job over this, can you?”
“I don’t think so,” I say, putting down the mug. I smooth the front of my black blouse, picking at a piece of imaginary lint. “No one will find out, Sadie. It’s just between Cohen and me. I think, if anything, they’d just frown upon it, but they aren’t going to fire anyone.”
I don’t know that for sure, of course, I’m only guessing. But no one will find out. It’s not like we have many people who work in the firm, anyway. The other three lawyers aren’t nosey and I’m the only woman there, so there’s no gossip or anything like that. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself. I say bye to Sadie, get in my car and drive to work, thinking about Cohen the whole way. Now that my mind is clear, all the doubts are starting to set in. He’s made it clear he doesn’t want any kind of commitment, so where does that leave us? I need to make sure I don’t get attached, so that when I walk away from this, I’m not crawling.
I hope I can do it because right now, walking away isn’t an option.
*****
We can’t keep our eyes off one another.
Every time he walks by, every time his office door opens, our gazes just connect. I wonder if he’s thinking about last night, because I sure am. It’s all I can think about. I don’t even know how it happened. Cohen just wanted to be around me, so he came over, and then we pretty much couldn’t kee
p our hands off each other. Even now, the sexual tension between us is thick; each look he gives me tempts me to lock myself in his office and let him have his way with me.
This is bad. Very bad.
He’s wearing a white shirt again, and I daydream about ripping it off him, buttons flying everywhere. I shift on my seat, suddenly very uncomfortable. After spending the whole night fucking him, I want more so soon? We had sex three times last night, and I came about five times. I didn’t even know I was capable of that.
Cohen, Cohen, Cohen.
I force myself to be productive, trying to push him out of my mind. When lunchtime comes around, however, I want to do a happy dance. When Cohen appears at my desk, I grab my bag, ready to head out, until he says, “I have to cancel lunch today. One of my clients just rang me from prison and I have to leave now. Rain check?”
I try to hide my disappointment. “Yeah, sure.”
“Can you reschedule my two o’clock? I don’t think I’ll make it back in time.”
I nod. “Sure.”
He opens his mouth, the one I was kissing just hours before, but then closes it, deciding not to say whatever it is on his mind. “I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.”
I grab my bag and head out to lunch alone, to my usual spot. I order my hamburger and fries, and my chocolate cake.
Then I sit back and wonder why it doesn’t satisfy me like it used to.
*****
I’m home alone when Cohen shows up at my house again that night. Sadie’s staying the night at Ian’s house.
“Is this going to become a regular thing?” I ask, opening the door.
“Don’t act like you don’t enjoy it,” he says, flashing me his dimple. He lifts his arm, which has containers of Chinese food hanging from it in a plastic bag. “And I brought you food.”
I close the door and follow him into the kitchen.
“I brought some for Sadie too.”
“She’s at Ian’s,” I tell him, smiling as he puts the food down and pulls me against him. “Is this you making up for lunch?”
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