The ground was iron-hard beneath her feet, but she kept walking, soon getting into a happy stride that helped to clear her head. She needed this, she thought. Before she joined the group at Morton Hall, she needed to be on her own for a while.
Never did she imagine that she would be in the position she was in now. When she’d married Grant, she’d thought it would be forever. She’d happily taken on the mantle of step-mother to Irma and Rebecca, knowing that it wouldn’t be easy. She knew she’d never be able to replace their mother, and she’d known that there was a great resistance to the girls welcoming her, but she’d imagined that things would ease over time and that the two girls would come to accept her. They might never love her as a mother, but they might at least come to respect her, like her even, share confidences and ask for advice. But that had never happened and it wasn’t likely to now, was it?
Annoyingly, there was a little part of her that was anxious about what Grant would do without her. How would he cope with teaching, writing his book and taking care of his two daughters? Well, whatever he’d done before she’d entered his life, he’d have to do again, wouldn’t he? He’d probably hate her for walking out. He’d blame her for disrupting his studies, she was sure of that. Anne Marie had given him the great gift of time by taking care of everything for him, but it had been at her own expense and she’d received no thanks for that service.
She stopped where the path split by a wood and turned around, viewing the landscape below her. The hill she had climbed afforded her a fine view of the Chiltern village below. Woodsmoke was rising from some of the chimneys as people awoke to start the day. It was still early and so Anne Marie continued walking, telling herself that everything was going to be all right. The long days of insecurity and isolation were over and she promised herself that nobody would ever make her feel so completely ignored again.
It was just after ten o’clock when she arrived at Morton Hall. She hadn’t realised she’d walked so far along the Ridgeway, but she felt so much better for the exercise and the freedom that the countryside had provided her with that morning. She hadn’t made her mind up whether to tell the group what had happened. It was all so fresh and raw that she didn’t trust herself not to burst into tears but, as soon as she saw Cape’s friendly smile, she knew she couldn’t hide the truth.
‘Hey, you!’ he called as she approached him. ‘I wasn’t sure if you were coming today.’
She took a deep breath and looked him square in the eye.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked.
‘I think I’ve left my husband,’ she told him.
Cape was pacing up and down the path, trying to catch Anne Marie before she left for the day. A sudden downpour had stopped the group from completing a full day’s work and it was decided that it would be best to down tools.
Cape watched as Patrick and his sons left. They were closely followed by Dorothy and Erin. Mac was next, leaving just Anne Marie and Kathleen. They were in the kitchen together. He hadn’t had a chance to speak to Anne Marie since she’d dropped her bombshell because she’d deliberately made herself scarce by choosing to work in a quiet corner of the garden whereas Cape had been busy with Mac, sawing down some of the more dangerous branches of a walnut tree in the nuttery. He’d been anxious to speak to her, but hadn’t had a chance. Until now.
As he walked into the kitchen, Kathleen was wiping down the kitchen table while Anne Marie was drying the mugs before putting them away in a cupboard. He cleared his throat.
‘Okay?’ he asked her.
‘Yes, it’s been a good day,’ Anne Marie said.
‘I saw you working with Patrick and his boys,’ Cape said, addressing Kathleen.
She nodded. ‘I’m kind of warming to them,’ she confessed. ‘We actually had a conversation that didn’t involve insulting one another too.’
‘That’s certainly progress,’ Cape said.
‘He was telling me a little bit about his wife. She sounds like a piece of work. He thinks she might have left with an old boyfriend of hers and he believes that she was still seeing him throughout their entire marriage.’
‘Really?’
‘He found one of her old phones and – well – there were messages. The sort of messages you don’t expect your wife to be sending or receiving from somebody else.’
‘Poor Patrick,’ Anne Marie said.
‘And poor boys. I can’t imagine a mother walking out on her own children,’ Cape said.
‘Yes, I think that’s the thing that’s shaken Patrick up the most.’ Kathleen finished wiping the table and rinsed the cloth at the sink. ‘But I think this time with his boys is really making a difference. He told me that they just shut themselves away at home. You know what kids are like these days – glued to their computers or tablets – and Patrick’s struggled to know how to reach them. But being here with none of those distractions, he said he’s really beginning to connect with them.’
Cape grinned. ‘That’s good.’
‘Isn’t it?’ Kathleen said.
‘Kath,’ Cape said after a pause, ‘would you mind if I have a word with Anne Marie?’
‘Of course not,’ Kathleen said. ‘Anne Marie? I’ll wait for you outside, okay? There’s something I want to run by you.’
Cape shuffled his feet uneasily as he waited for Kathleen to leave.
‘Is everything okay?’ Anne Marie asked him.
‘No. I’ve been frantic about you all day.’
‘You have?’
‘Of course I have. One day I’m giving you a bit of friendly advice and then the very next day you tell me you’ve left your husband.’
She smiled.
‘It’s not funny,’ he told her.
‘I’m not laughing.’
‘Are you going to tell me what’s going on?’
‘I told you. I’ve left him.’
‘So I gather.’ He pulled a chair out from the table and sat down and Anne Marie did the same thing. ‘I feel dreadful,’ he said. ‘Was I the reason this happened?’
Anne Marie gave him a comforting smile. ‘Oh, Cape! Have you been worrying about that all day?’
‘Yeah, of course I have!’
‘But this has been coming on for some time now. Don’t blame yourself. You just helped me to see things clearly.’
‘I can’t believe you’ve really done it.’
‘Neither can I, but I have.’
‘And you’re okay?’
She nodded. ‘I think so, yes.’
He watched her closely, checking to see if there was a flicker of indecision in her answer, but there didn’t seem to be.
‘What did he say when you told him?’
She bit her lip.
‘What?’ he asked.
‘I didn’t exactly tell him.’
‘You didn’t tell him you were leaving?’
‘Not exactly.’
‘What do you mean? Either you did or you didn’t.’
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I didn’t.’
Cape shook his head. ‘You’ve got to talk to him.’
‘I know. But not now. Not yet. I need some time to be alone and think things through. I can’t do that in that house. I can’t breathe in there, let alone think.’
‘But won’t he be worried?’
‘I doubt it. He’ll just think I’m here for the day. He won’t notice that I’ve packed anything. I only took the bare essentials.’
‘And tonight? He’ll notice then, surely?’
She didn’t say anything for a moment but then nodded. ‘He might notice.’
‘I think he will unless he’s a total fool.’
‘I doubt he’ll notice until tea time and he might not even notice then because I didn’t make it last night. He’ll just think I’m going through a funny phase and give me a wide berth. He doesn’t like confrontation. He’ll immerse himself in his books. But he might realise something’s up at bedtime.’
Cape felt astounded by what she was telling him. ‘He might n
otice at bedtime?’
She shrugged. ‘Or he might be so tired, he’ll think I went to bed after him and got up before him. He might not realise for days.’
‘Are you kidding me?’
‘We’re not like normal couples, Cape. We don’t talk. We work. Separately. We share the same house, but he never asks me how I’m feeling. He doesn’t seem to see me at all. I couldn’t take that anymore.’
‘I know,’ he said gently, his hand reaching out and covering hers. ‘Have you anywhere to go?’
She shook her head. ‘I hadn’t really thought about that. My mission had been to get out of the house and I didn’t think what I was going to do after that.’
‘Have you family you could stay with?’
‘I could go to my mother’s, but her home’s a bit on the small side. Anyway, I couldn’t bear to hear what she’d say about what I’ve done.’
‘She can stay with me,’ Kathleen suddenly piped up as she walked into the kitchen. ‘I didn’t mean to earwig, but – well – I guess I was. But you could stay at mine, Anne Marie. There’s plenty of room and I’m not opening up for guests until Easter so I’ve got three rooms you can choose from.’
‘Oh, Kath, that’s so kind, but I couldn’t put you out.’
‘You won’t be. It’ll be nice to have somebody to share the house with again.’
‘Really? You’re not just saying that?’
‘I’m honestly not.’
Anne Marie stood up and Cape watched as she walked over to Kathleen and gave her a big hug.
‘Thank you!’ she said. ‘You’re a life-saver.’
Cape followed them outside.
‘You’ll be okay?’ he asked Anne Marie.
‘I’ll be fine.’
‘You call me if you need anything,’ he told her and then wondered what Renee would make of him receiving phone calls from a woman who’d just left her husband after he’d had a chat with her.
‘Thanks, Cape. You’ve been wonderful.’
He smiled, but he didn’t feel very wonderful. He felt anxious, perplexed and deeply concerned for the new friend he was beginning to feel very fond of.
It was strange to leave Morton Hall and not go back to her own home, Anne Marie thought. Kathleen hopped into her car and the two of them set off for the recently rethatched bed and breakfast in the heart of the village.
‘It’s a bit of a shell at the moment, I’m afraid,’ Kathleen said as Anne Marie parked her car outside.
‘I’m sure it will be wonderful,’ Anne Marie told her.
‘It really will be nice to have some company,’ Kathleen said. ‘If I’m honest, it’s been a bit lonely since the fire.’
‘You must let me know what I owe you for the room.’
Kathleen batted a hand in the air. ‘No, no. I wouldn’t hear of it.’
‘But I insist on paying my way,’ Anne Marie told her as they got out of the car. She grabbed her suitcase and laptop and Kathleen opened the little white gate that led into her front garden.
‘I’ll tell you what – help me out with a bit of decorating and we’ll call it quits. I can’t stand painting walls!’
‘You’re on!’ Anne Marie said.
Kathleen hadn’t been exaggerating when she’d said that her home was a bit of a shell. It was all bare walls and floors with the sparsest of furniture in each room, but it was such a warm and welcoming sight that Anne Marie immediately fell in love with the place and could easily imagine how delightful it would be once everything was up and running again.
‘It’s taking an age to sort things out with the insurance,’ Kathleen informed her. ‘I’ve managed to redecorate most of upstairs, but I’m living with the bare essentials downstairs and putting everything I buy on credit cards.’
‘It must be really difficult for you.’
‘It’s not been easy, that’s for sure. It’s so silly, but you totally take everything for granted, don’t you? I mean, I had this funny old armchair for years. It was one of the first things I bought when I left home and got my own place. It seemed terribly expensive at the time even though it was in the sale, but it was so sweet and comfortable. I loved that chair and I know I’ll never find its like again. Silly, isn’t it?’
‘No, not at all,’ Anne Marie insisted.
‘And a cute little wooden stool which my house rabbit had partially chewed. That was a part of my personal history. You can never get things like that back, can you?’
She led her up the stairs and turned right onto a narrow landing.
‘I think this is the nicest room,’ she said a moment later, opening a door into a bedroom. ‘It gets the morning sun and is lovely and light. It’s not much to look at, but you should be comfortable.’
Anne Marie took in the double bed and single wardrobe and the small bedside table on which sat a lamp. The floral fabric of the curtains and bedding made the simple room both pretty and feminine.
‘Oh, it’s lovely, Kath. Thank you.’
‘There’s a small en suite through that door. I’ll let you settle in. Come downstairs when you’re ready and I’ll make us some tea.’
Kathleen left the room and Anne Marie sat down on the bed. The enormity of what she had done hit her again. She’d left her husband, her step-daughters, her home.
She reached for her mobile and switched it on. It had been off while she’d worked at Morton Hall and now she checked to see if there were any messages. There weren’t. Had Grant even noticed that she wasn’t home?
She took a deep breath and quickly texted him.
I won’t be coming home. AM.
He’d probably think nothing of it. He might simply imagine that she was spending some time with her mother. She waited a few moments to see if a reply came, but wasn’t at all surprised when there was none.
Chapter 14
Cape took a deep breath of icy air as he stopped digging for a moment, looking down the great sweep of lawn which ended at the River Thames just outside Medmenham. The house, a Palladian manor in red brick with huge sash windows across three floors and great columns either side of the front door, belonged to his favourite clients, Colonel and Mrs Shelton. They’d asked him to create some more flower beds and redefine the existing ones. It was hard work, but it was a very good way to keep warm. It also gave him time to think about what had happened the day before.
He still couldn’t believe it. Anne Marie had left her husband, and she’d sworn that it had nothing to do with the conversation they’d had. But that seemed a bit of a coincidence, didn’t it? He was quite sure there was no way she’d have done that if he hadn’t given her the idea of speaking to her husband and standing up for herself. Or would she? He was beginning to realise that there was much more to Anne Marie than he’d ever imagined.
The temptation to ring her had almost got the better of him several times the night before. He’d paced the kitchen, his mobile in his hand, wondering if he should reach out and make sure she was okay. It would be another week before he saw her again at Morton Hall. She’d proved herself quite capable of taking care of things, but there was something about her that brought out the protective side of him and, more than anything else, he wanted to check up on her.
He gazed out across the silvery-blue of the river, but all he could see was Anne Marie’s face: beautiful, solemn and framed by that lovely red hair. He swallowed hard, acknowledging the fact that he was teetering on the precipice of something very dangerous. Anne Marie might have left her family home, but she was still very much married, and Cape was as good as married too although Renee was as distant and as irritable as ever.
Cape shook his head as he remembered the most recent incident. He’d offered to take them all out for fish and chips on Saturday night and she’d told him not to be silly. What was silly about fish and chips? They’d done that all the time when they’d first met, chatting and giggling together as the car fogged up with steam. Was a portion of vinegar-soaked chips in the car not good enough for her anymore? Was it
not California-enough for her?
As soon as the thought entered his head, he felt mean for having it. He of all people knew what it was to have a dream. His dream might have been simple enough: to become a gardener – and with the love and support of his father he had achieved that dream. But Renee’s was now threatening his own. That was the heart of the problem, wasn’t it? They wanted different things and he didn’t know what to do about it.
He picked up his spade again and pushed it hard into the ground. He really wasn’t sure what was going to happen to his little family unit, but he had a feeling that the decision wasn’t going to be his to make. He truly felt that Renee was slipping away from him and the worst thing about it was that he wasn’t even sure that he wanted to stop her.
Anne Marie had woken up on that Monday morning to a room flooded with winter sunshine. Kathleen hadn’t been exaggerating when she’d said the room got the morning sun, and Anne Marie was delighted to have such a comforting start to her day.
Kathleen had been a total sweetheart, making them both a slap-up breakfast and clearing a small table for Anne Marie to use as a makeshift office for her editing work. Kathleen had left after breakfast. While the bed and breakfast was undergoing renovations, she had taken a part-time job on the reception of a nearby hotel, so Anne Marie had been told that she had the place to herself each morning: she aimed to do the bulk of her work during that time, leaving her afternoons free to help Kathleen.
But that first morning’s work had been interrupted. She’d just made herself a cup of tea, fired up her laptop and got comfortable when her mobile rang. It was Grant. She looked at his name flashing up, wondering whether to answer or leave it to go to voicemail, but that would just be delaying the inevitable, wouldn’t it? So she took his call.
‘Where the hell are you?’ he shouted down the phone. ‘You didn’t come home last night, did you?’
Had he only just noticed?
The Heart of the Garden Page 20