‘Then just leave things as they are. Let her find her own way through this.’
‘Really?’
‘You might be pleasantly surprised at the result. It could be the making of Tobias. To fall in love.’
Emilia thought this over for a moment. She’d never known her brother to be in love before. Was it even possible for him to experience that emotion?
‘I don’t know,’ she said at last. ‘I’m not sure my brother’s capable of a pure emotion like love. I think he’s got some sort of ulterior motive with Angela.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘Just a feeling I’ve got.’ She paused, wondering whether to confess more. ‘I was watching him during lunch and he kept giving me these little sideways glances – like he was checking that I was noticing him making a fuss of Angela.’
‘Trying to make you jealous, you mean? Why would he do that?’
Emilia held his gaze. ‘Because he’s jealous of me and you.’
Jay put his paintbrush down, giving her his full attention now. ‘Really? That’s what you’re thinking?’
Emilia shrugged. ‘I just felt it was a kind of one-upmanship thing with him. I don’t really believe he has any feelings for her and, if he doesn’t, I think she should know that.’
Jay seemed to weigh her words and then nodded.
‘Want to take a break?’ he asked.
‘I think I do.’
‘Good, let’s grab a couple of cans and go into the garden.’
As soon as they were outside, Jay took Emilia’s hand in his and they headed towards the maze. It was a routine of theirs now – to escape into the leafy depths where they knew they wouldn’t be disturbed but, before they could make it to the west entrance, Emilia spotted Angela sitting on a bench under the cedar tree.
‘Jay, would you mind if I went and spoke to her?’
‘Alone?’
‘Yes.’
‘Of course not,’ he said.
She gave him a kiss. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I’ll see you back inside in a few minutes, okay?’
He nodded and took himself off into the maze.
‘Hello stranger,’ Emilia said as she approached her friend. She was wearing a teal-green gown she’d come to favour. Tobias had long since stopped complaining about Angela wearing the Victorian clothes and Emilia suspected that he had come to like it.
Angela looked up and beamed her a smile.
‘Come and sit here!’
Emilia took a seat on the bench beside her and opened her can of drink, passing it to Angela to share a moment later.
‘Watch the dress!’ she warned.
‘Oh, I spend my whole days watching these dresses. How did the Victorians cope? I’m a nervous wreck although I’ve come to love the feel of them.’
‘I love them too but I like the option of knowing I can slip on a pair of jeans anytime I want.’
Angela laughed. ‘Agreed!’
‘Tobias would probably make a fuss if I suddenly started wearing jeans again.’
‘Yes, I think he likes a woman to look like a woman,’ Angela said.
They sat for a few minutes, gazing across the garden. Angela was the first to speak.
‘You’re in love with him, aren’t you?’
Emilia’s head snapped around to look at her friend. ‘What?’
‘That painter guy – Jay? I notice you’re keeping him all to yourself.’
‘We’re working together.’
‘And is that all?’ Angela gave her a little nudge with her elbow which almost had her spilling her drink down her dress.
‘Careful!’
‘Sorry! The dress!’ Angela said, her hands up in a surrendering pose. ‘So, come on – tell me about Jay the painter. We didn’t really get a chance to talk the other day at lunch and I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. I didn’t mean to.’
‘It’s okay.’
‘So, go on – tell me everything!’
Emilia took a deep breath. She couldn’t keep the smile from her face a moment longer. ‘I think I’m in love.’
‘I knew it!’ Angela cried. ‘I knew the minute I saw you in Oxford that there was something different about you.’
‘Really?’
‘Absolutely. You looked . . .’ She paused. ‘. . . happy.’
Emilia smiled. ‘I am. I’m really happy.’
‘Good – you deserve it.’ Angela gave her a hug. ‘So, tell me all about him.’
‘Well, we’ve not known each other long, but he’s one of those people you feel comfortable with right away, you know? We can talk for hours and we both love the garden here. We’ve practically moved into the maze!’
Angela giggled. ‘Been up to anything else in there?’
Emilia’s mouth dropped open. ‘Angela!’
‘Oh, come on – you can tell me!’
Emilia could feel her cheeks heating up at her friend’s questioning but, as embarrassed as she was, she was also desperate to share her joy with her friend.
‘Well, there have been one or two amazing experiences in there,’ she said.
They laughed together.
‘Hey, I have a bone to pick with you, sister,’ Angela went on.
‘What?’
‘You never told me your brother was so handsome.’
‘It’s not exactly something I’d go around saying.’
‘I guess not.’
Emilia took a sip from her can, summoning up the courage to say what was on her mind.
‘Angela?’
‘Yes?’
‘I feel like I should warn you.’
‘Warn me? About what?’
‘Tobias.’
‘What about him?’
‘He’s – well, he seems to be in one of his good moods at the moment.’
She frowned. ‘You mean he isn’t always?’
‘He has mood swings. You should be careful around him.’
Angela’s sunny smile vanished. ‘Careful?’
‘You mustn’t . . .’
‘What?’
‘This is really hard for me to say.’
‘What is? Tell me, Emmy. You’re scaring me.’
Emilia took a deep breath. ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to get involved with him.’
There was a pause between the two women.
‘Are you serious?’
‘I wouldn’t be saying this if I wasn’t serious.’
‘But what business is it of yours?’
‘What business?’ Emilia was a little taken aback by this question. ‘Because he’s my brother and you’re my best friend and – forgive me for saying this, but you came here to visit me, didn’t you? And you’ve been spending far more time with Tobias than you have me.’
‘That’s not fair!’
‘Isn’t it?’ Emilia took a deep breath. ‘Look, I don’t want to argue with you – really I don’t. I just wanted to let you know. Tobias is . . . well, he’s different.’
Angela frowned. ‘I know. He’s special. I’ve never met anyone like him. He’s so clever and witty and—’
‘I know. He’s all those things and more. A lot more. I just don’t want to see you get hurt, Angie.’
‘What are you talking about? I won’t get hurt.’
‘You don’t know him. Not really. He’s not so much fun to be around when he’s in one of his black moods.’
‘Black moods! You make him sound like Heathcliff. Does he howl like a wolf and bash his head against tree trunks?’
‘Not far off.’
Angela studied her. ‘You’re messing with me, aren’t you?’
‘I wish I was.’ Emilia swallowed hard. ‘Look, I don’t know how close you two have got, but I guess it’s pretty close. I just thought you should know.’ She reached out to touch Angela’s hand, but her friend stood up.
‘I thought there was something weird going on between you and your brother.’
‘What?’
‘The way he talks to you and t
reats you and the way you respond. You don’t want to let anybody else in, do you? You want to keep him all to yourself.’
‘No, it’s not like that.’
‘You like being the centre of his attention, don’t you? You don’t want anybody coming between you and him.’
‘Angie – you’re being silly.’
‘Am I? Then why would you say something like that about Tobias? He’s been nothing but sweet to me. I think he’s really beginning to care about me, Emmy.’
‘Are you? Are you really sure about that?’
‘And you’re trying to spoil something that’s really special.’
‘I’m not – I promise you I’m not. You’re my best friend and I . . .’
Angela stood up, flushed and agitated. ‘Just leave us alone, will you?’
‘Oh, Angie – don’t go like this!’ Emilia called after her as she ran across the lawn towards the house. But it was no use – she wasn’t going to listen.
It came to a head in the middle of the night just two days later. Emilia had been sleeping with her windows open as the air was unbearably hot even after the sun had set. She’d been dozing in fits and starts, her bedding twisting around her body as she’d tried to get comfortable, and then she’d heard the raised voices coming from along the landing. Tobias’s room.
She sat bolt upright in bed, adrenaline coursing through her. She hadn’t heard raised voices since the row between her parents when her father had told her mother to give up her work, but she’d never forgotten how that had made her feel. Now, knowing that it was her brother and her best friend fighting, she felt just as anxious and she sprang out of bed and grabbed a cardigan from a chair, stuffing her feet into her slippers and running out of her room.
Tobias was at the head of the stairs when she came out, but Angela was nowhere to be seen.
‘Angela?’ Emilia called. Her brother turned to face her, his expression dark.
‘She’s gone.’
‘What? Where’s she gone?’
‘She’s left.’
‘But she doesn’t have a car. She can’t just walk back to Yorkshire with her suitcase.’
‘I’ve called a taxi. It’ll pick her up at the end of the driveway. Or somewhere between the driveway and Oxford depending how fast she’s moving.’
Emilia was dumbfounded. Was her brother serious?
‘You didn’t even offer to drive her into Oxford?’
‘It’s the middle of the night.’
‘Exactly! You can’t just throw somebody out in the dark!’
‘I didn’t. She’s the one who left, Emilia.’
‘What the hell happened anyway? I heard you both shouting.’
‘I don’t know what happened.’
‘Well, what did you say to her?’
He glowered at her and shrugged his shoulders.
‘Tobias! What did you say to her?’
He ran a hand through his red hair. ‘I told her not to be so clingy.’
‘Clingy? What do you mean?’
‘I mean she was getting all intense on me. I couldn’t breathe.’
‘And what did she say?’
‘She said some stuff, okay?’
‘No, it’s not okay!’ Emilia cried. ‘First of all, I invited Angela down to see me – me! She’s my best friend and then you and she hide away all day and all night and I don’t get to see either of you.’
‘You mean while you spend all your time with Jay? How’s that any different?’
‘Because Jay and I are still talking to each other. We’re not screaming the house down in the middle of the night.’
‘Oh, aren’t you just the perfect couple?’
Emilia looked at her brother and a feeling of pity overcame her. ‘That’s what this has all been about, isn’t it?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You don’t like the idea of me and Jay together.’
‘Shut up, Emmy.’
‘You don’t like the thought that I might be a grown-up woman and want to have a normal relationship with a man. That’s it, isn’t it? You think you can keep me here in this house forever. Well you can’t, Tobias. That’s not going to happen.’
He held his hands up like an unbreachable barrier between them. ‘You know, I’ve had enough. I’m going to bed.’
‘Don’t you walk away from me! I’m not done with you.’
‘Yeah? Well, I’m done with you. With all of you!’
Emilia watched as he strode down the landing and slammed his bedroom door behind him. She had a feeling he’d be in there for days.
‘He’s out of control, Emmy,’ Jay said, putting his paintbrush down.
‘No he isn’t. He’s just sunk into one of his moods after I shouted at him a bit.’
Jay shook his head, obviously exasperated by her explanation. It was funny but Emilia found herself defending her brother whenever Jay criticised him. Maybe that was only natural because Tobias was the only family Emilia had left now. But everything Jay had been saying over the past two weeks since Tobias had shut himself away was true. Tobias was controlling, bad-tempered and – yes – a little bit strange, and he seemed to be getting worse. He was spending more and more time in that room of his. Either he was screeching on the violin, which at least told Emilia that he was conscious, or else it was deadly silent on the other side of the door.
‘Tobes?’ she’d call through, gently knocking on the dark wood. ‘Are you okay? Can I get you anything?’
No matter how many times she called, there would never be a response. She sometimes wished that he’d bellow at her to leave him alone just so she knew for sure that he was still there. She’d even tried to reach him from outside, throwing little stones up at the mullioned window, but the thick curtains had been drawn against the summer light and he hadn’t come to the window. Emilia knew he was eating because she found the evidence in the kitchen in the mornings. Mrs Beatty would shake her head.
‘Who made this mess in the middle of the night?’
But Emilia knew that Mrs Beatty was fully aware of what was going on.
As wonderful as it was to be able to spend uninterrupted time with Jay, Emilia couldn’t help but worry about her brother. She was also still worrying about Angela. After she’d left, Emilia had called her home number endlessly, but there’d been no reply. Then, finally, when Angela did answer, Emilia had received a torrent of abuse and had been accused of coming between her friend and Tobias. It had taken over an hour to calm Angela down.
‘It’s not natural,’ she kept saying.
‘What isn’t?’
‘He kept talking about you, Emmy. All the time. It was driving me crazy! And when I told him how weird that was, he – he . . .’
‘What?’ Emilia asked. ‘What did he say?’
‘He didn’t say anything. He just grabbed me by the wrists with this wild look in his eyes like he wanted to kill me.’
Emilia had seen that look too. Tobias was scary when he was like that, flying from love to hate in a heartbeat.
Thinking of that now made her blood run cold. She hadn’t told Jay about her conversation with her friend, but he seemed to understand the gist of it.
‘Want some lunch?’ he asked her now, interrupting her thoughts. ‘We could eat outside.’
She nodded. It would be good to feel the sun on her skin. She felt as if she’d been indoors forever even though it was only for the space of a morning. Being painted, she thought, could do that to a person. It sort of trapped you in time, denying you physical movement while allowing the mind to float free. Well, she’d had way too much time focussing on negative things that morning and was glad when she and Jay made it out into the garden with their lunch, choosing the deeply shaded corner where the picnic table was.
‘I hate to say it, but we’re nearly done with the portrait,’ he told her after they’d finished eating. ‘I’m not sure how long we can keep up the charade of painting.’
‘Maybe we could start another one,’ Em
ilia suggested. ‘Maybe Tobias could commission you to paint the house or garden.’
He shook his head. ‘Not really me, that. I like painting people. I like painting you.’
‘But I can’t be your only subject.’
‘Why not? Lots of artists have muses.’
‘That wouldn’t be very interesting, though, would it?’
‘You mean you don’t want to pose for me all day?’ The question was asked in a light-hearted manner, but she could tell there was an edge of seriousness about it.
She reached across the table and placed her hand on his.
‘I’d like to be with you all day,’ she whispered.
His expression softened and she could feel her heart race at the intensity of the moment.
‘Emmy, why don’t we get out of here?’ Jay said.
‘You mean go to the maze?’
‘No – get out of here – Morton Hall.’
‘What, a day out?’ Emilia said. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had one of those.
Jay shook his head. ‘No, silly! I mean we should go. Really go!’
‘But I can’t do that,’ she said, shocked by his suggestion.
‘Why not?’
‘I couldn’t leave my brother.’
Jay sighed. ‘He’s a grown man. He’ll be fine without you.’
‘But this is my home.’
‘Yes, I know, but you just said you wanted to be with me all day. Don’t you want to make a life with me some day? A life just for us?’
‘Well, I—’
‘I mean . . .’ He paused, squeezing her hand in his. ‘. . . I think you and I might be heading towards something rather wonderful.’
She smiled at him. ‘Me too,’ she whispered.
‘And that something rather wonderful – well – I don’t want to do that here under your brother’s nose.’
Emilia laughed. ‘No, you’re right.’
‘Then you’ll think about it at least?’
She took a deep breath. ‘It’s just that I’ve never thought about leaving here,’ she confessed. ‘I mean, it’s crossed my mind that I might have to one day if Tobias gets married, but I’ve never really imagined a life outside Morton Hall.’
Jay held her gaze. ‘Well, I think it’s time you started to imagine.’
The Heart of the Garden Page 23