by KR Alexander
“Come on,” Vanessa said. She took my hand. Her fingers were terribly cold on my skin. And firm. She started walking down the hall, and I had no choice but to follow.
We seemed to walk forever, but the hall didn’t change and the doors we passed remained closed.
“Where are we going?” I asked. My voice shook. Even if this wasn’t scary, it was hard to believe it wasn’t a nightmare. Her voice was so distant, and as cold as her fingers.
“To your room,” she said.
“I have a room,” I said, my words faltering.
“Your new room, in your new home.” She looked over and smiled at me. Her eyes were glassy as a doll’s. “Your new friends are waiting.”
My feet stumbled. I didn’t like the way she said it.
Despite my hesitation, we kept walking. I couldn’t stop if I wanted to.
We passed by a door that wasn’t fully closed. The door was covered in locks. Inside was a glass case, but I didn’t get the chance to see what was inside it before being dragged away.
“What’s in there?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Vanessa replied. She gripped my hand tighter and pulled faster.
Soon we were running, and the hall kept stretching on and on, and my skin was coated with sweat, not just because I was out of shape, but because there was something running up behind us. Something growling.
Something chasing us.
I knew then exactly what it was.
Beryl had gotten inside!
I ran faster.
We had to hide.
We had to find safety.
But the hallways stretched on and on and all the doors were locked and I could feel Beryl now in the hallway with us. So close. So close. I knew that if I looked behind us, whatever I saw would be so terrifying I would freeze up. I could feel it in my bones.
A door at the end of the hall opened.
We rushed in. My heart wanted to pound out of my chest.
It wasn’t until the door slammed shut behind us that I realized we weren’t any safer in here.
There was a reason there were no dolls in the hallway. They were all in the room.
Locked in. With us.
The beast chasing us thudded into the door with a crash.
SLAM!
SLAM!
SLAM!
Vanessa leaned against it. She was panting.
“Don’t worry,” she said, her voice somehow calm despite her ragged breath. “You’re safe in here. This is your room. You’ll always be safe from her in your room.”
And it was my room. It had the same high ceilings. The same bare walls. The same big bed. Except in here, the floor was carpeted with dolls. All of them lying broken and mismatched like there had been a terrible accident.
They weren’t what made me forget about the monster outside.
On my bed was a life-size doll.
Blonde hair in ringlets. Brown eyes.
She looked exactly like Karen Little.
“Let’s be friends. Forever,” the doll said. She smiled, and her face cracked.
Vanessa’s hand clamped over my mouth. Before I could scream, the room went dark.
Vanessa slept like a rock.
I woke up before her to the smell of Mom brewing coffee in the kitchen, which always woke me up. I had slept so well. Which was strange, because I usually couldn’t sleep at all during sleepovers. But if I slept well, Vanessa must have slept even better.
She lay there, still as a statue, on her back, and for a moment I wondered if she was even breathing. Then I saw her chest move, and that made me look at the locket she always wore. I found it strange that she even wore it to bed. It was simple tarnished gold. Nothing really cool, and it always seemed to clash with what she was wearing at school, but maybe that was why she wore it. To make her stand out because she didn’t match.
Something about it seemed off, though.
And something about that made me want to reach out and touch it. Which was weird, because I was there staring at my new friend while she was asleep. What if she woke up and saw me watching?
I turned over and looked at the nightstand. I was relieved to find that there wasn’t any doll sitting beside my alarm clock. I guessed that Anna hadn’t been brave enough to try sneaking in while Vanessa was staying over. Either that, or she was so upset she’d quit trying. I hoped it was the latter; I didn’t want to have to keep fighting her about it.
I sat up. Vanessa didn’t move.
I stretched. Still no movement.
For a moment I considered just trying to fall back asleep, but I could hear Mom clattering around in the kitchen now, and if today was anything like the days back in Chicago when I had friends over, that meant she was going to be making chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. And I couldn’t miss that.
I gave Vanessa a little shake.
She didn’t move.
I tried again, this time saying her name.
Again, no movement. Her skin was cold, and even though I knew she was breathing, it still creeped me out.
Finally, I gave her a big shake and called her name even louder. I expected her to wake up with a screech—that’s what I would have done. But she just blinked open her eyes like she was being gently woken from a nap.
So weird.
“Good morning,” she said. And just like that she sat up and was wide awake. So weird.
We went and brushed our teeth, and then went down for breakfast. I was right—Mom had made chocolate chip pancakes. Anna was already sitting at the table, playing with her teddy bear. Grandma Jeannie wasn’t there, and she wasn’t on the back patio either. Maybe she was still in bed.
Suddenly, I felt guilty that I’d been happy she was away last night. What if she was getting really sick?
Then Mom served up the pancakes, and my guilt vanished.
Once more, Vanessa asked all the questions. Mom seemed more than happy to talk about things, so we spent the morning telling Vanessa about Chicago and some of the shows we’d seen, and the type of job Mom was looking for, and how long Mom thought we would stay here.
That made me pause and listen carefully.
How long was Mom thinking of keeping us here? She’d never admitted anything before.
“I don’t know,” Mom eventually said.
“What do you mean?” Vanessa asked casually.
“Well, it depends on how my mom is doing. And if I can get a job back in Chicago.” She paused. “Or here.”
My mouth fell open. The way she said it made it sound like she was actually planning on staying here not just for the rest of the school year, but forever.
I couldn’t imagine Mom ever finding a job in a town this small that would make her happy—she used to work with a big investment firm in Chicago, and she said she loved it. I couldn’t imagine this place offering anything like that. And yet, I also had no doubt that she would stay here for Grandma.
I looked at Vanessa. She looked at me. I could tell we were having the same thought.
On the one hand, we were happy that we got to be friends for a while.
On the other, it felt like both of us were trapped.
It was after breakfast when Grandma Jeannie came down.
Vanessa and I were in the backyard, playing on the swing set while Mom and Anna cleaned up. (Anna definitely didn’t want to help, but Mom made her.) I knew before the porch door even opened that it was Grandma Jeannie. I knew, because Vanessa immediately stopped swinging. She went as stiff as when she had been sleeping.
When I turned and looked at Grandma, she was just as still as Vanessa. She had her cane in one hand and a sun tea in the other.
“How … how …” Grandma stuttered. “You shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t …”
Vanessa clicked into action then. She looked from Grandma Jeannie to me.
“I should go,” she said. She hopped off the swing.
“No, wait,” I said. “It’s okay.”
“I …”
But Vaness
a didn’t complete her sentence. At that moment, Grandma Jeannie dropped her glass. It shattered to the porch, making me jump.
“How are you …” Grandma kept repeating. I couldn’t focus on her, though. Vanessa was already running, but not toward the patio or the house. She was running straight into the woods.
“Vanessa!” I called.
She didn’t stop or look back. I watched her go. I knew she was going home, but it almost looked like she was some wild creature, running into the forest for safety from a predator.
I turned back to Grandma. I didn’t know if I wanted to yell at her for scaring off my friend or ask her what was wrong.
I didn’t get the chance.
“It’s happening again,” she said, just loud enough for me to hear.
Then she fell to the ground.
We were up in Grandma Jeannie’s room. The doctor was there at her bedside, talking to Mom. Anna was at the foot of the bed, holding her teddy bear tight to her chest.
I watched Grandma nervously. The doctor said she would be okay, that she’d just fainted from shock and hadn’t broken anything. At worst, she’d have a few bruises.
“She needs a lot of rest and fluids,” the doctor said. “If you need anything else, I’m just down the road.”
Then she grabbed her bag of medical supplies and left.
I’d never seen a doctor come to someone’s house before. I guess it was a little comforting that they did that. Though it was also a little worrying that they didn’t seem to have a big hospital. Which just made me wonder … where had Vanessa’s aunt gotten knee surgery?
That made me think of Vanessa running away. I wished I had a way to call her and ask her what was up. Her running like that made me angry, but also kind of sad. I didn’t know who I was angriest with: Grandma for freaking out, or Vanessa for running off. Maybe I was maddest at myself for letting any of this happen in the first place.
I knew having a friend over would be a bad idea. I knew everything in this town was a bad idea.
It was only when Mom put her hand on my shoulder and led me out of the bedroom into my own that I realized I was crying.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked.
I opened my mouth, but how could I tell her the truth? That I felt responsible for Grandma fainting? That I was so angry about living here I wanted to run away? That Vanessa was the only friend I had, and she would probably never talk to me again?
Everything felt like my fault. And nothing felt like my fault.
All I could do was cry harder.
Mom held me close and ran her fingers through my hair.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through all this, honey. But Grandma will be okay. I promise you, everything will be okay.”
Even then, I knew it was a lie.
I couldn’t focus the rest of the day.
Anna spent the morning playing in the backyard, and I spent the time cleaning up my bedroom. It didn’t need it, but there was nothing else to do besides homework, and I really didn’t want to do that. The problem was, cleaning my room just made me think of Vanessa staying the night. I wished I had other friends. I wished there was a way to talk to my friends back home. I could invite them out here, but I knew they’d never come—not when they would be too busy doing fun things. Who could blame them? I wouldn’t come out here if I didn’t have to.
By the time I was done cleaning, I felt so sorry for myself I nearly just wandered into the woods to find Vanessa or get lost.
I knew that would be a bad move, and I was also still a little upset that Vanessa had run off on me. She’d even left her overnight bag here. I’d have to bring it with me to school tomorrow.
Hopefully that meant she’d still talk to me.
I sat on my bed for a while and stared out the window. Anna was still playing out there, content with the world. I didn’t know how she did it; she actually seemed kind of happy here. And I was miserable. I thought about reading but didn’t have any books I could sink into. We still didn’t have cable, and I had watched all the movies I’d brought with me a dozen times.
Ugh. If every weekend was like this, I was going to die of boredom.
After a while, I hopped off the bed and left my room. Mom was cleaning, and I figured it was almost lunchtime, so I would make myself a snack.
As I was passing Grandma’s room, I heard her cough. I paused. I wanted to ask her what had happened with Vanessa, and why she’d acted so strangely. I also didn’t want to make her any worse. Then Grandma moaned a little, like she was hurt, and I jogged into her room.
Save for the time with the doctor that morning, I’d never spent much time in here. It was a simple room, with a few photos of our family—portraits of Mom and Anna and me, old photos of Grandma and Grandpa on their wedding day or on vacation. There were no other decorations, and it always made me a little sad. It was just so empty.
Grandma was curled up in bed. She looked tiny, the thin covers pulled around her and the ceiling fan spinning slowly. Often, her room smelled like flowers and perfume. Right now, it smelled stale, like old breath.
For some reason, it reminded me of the way Vanessa’s house smelled in my nightmares.
“Grandma?” I asked.
She rolled her head to look at me, blinking with tired eyes.
“Josie?” she asked.
Her voice was barely more than a whisper. All she’d done was fall, yet she looked so incredibly sick. I felt even worse now for ever being angry with her. She was sick. It was so easy to forget that when she looked or acted normal.
“Yes, Grandma,” I said. “Are you okay?”
I stepped up to her bedside.
She didn’t just look sick—she looked ancient. She’d always had a brightness in her eyes and smile, and now that brightness was dimmed.
“Who … who was that girl today?”
“Her name’s Vanessa, Grandma. She’s my friend.” Then, despite myself, I thought, Until you scared her off by yelling at her.
Grandma shook her head.
“Can’t be … can’t be …” She moaned again and rolled over.
“Can’t be what, Grandma?”
But she didn’t answer. She just curled in on herself like she was scared.
“Grandma?” I asked. “Why did you—”
“Beryl is coming!” she shrieked, finding an energy I didn’t know she still had. She turned over and grabbed my arm, looking me right in the eyes. “You’ve brought her in here. I can’t protect you. Not anymore.”
“Vanessa isn’t Beryl,” I said. I tried to wrench free from her grip, but her fingers were strong. “I don’t know why you’re so upset. She’s my friend. She’s just a girl.”
“She’s already gotten to you,” Grandma said. She let go and sunk back into the pillows, looking even tinier and more tired than before. She started to cry. “Beryl will get you. I’m tired. So tired. I can’t protect you any longer.”
I didn’t know why, but something in me snapped. Maybe it was because I knew that Grandma was sick, and that this was all in her head, and that it was causing very real problems outside of this bedroom.
“Beryl isn’t real, Grandma!” I yelled. “Stop acting like there’s a monster outside, when the only monster here is you!”
I turned and stormed out the door.
She called my name.
I didn’t stop.
I kept walking down the hall.
That’s when I realized she wasn’t asking me to stop or to apologize.
“Stay out of the woods!” she was calling. “Beryl is coming for you!”
I didn’t want to stay at home any longer.
Mom was in the kitchen doing dishes. She must not have heard me and Grandma, but she did notice how angry I was as I stormed past.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked.
I didn’t answer.
There was so much anger inside of me that I knew if I stopped and talked, I would just start yelling things I would regret. I didn’t know whe
re I was going, only that I had to go somewhere.
I stormed out the front door and toward the road. Mom was behind me. She called out that I had to come back, but I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t going to listen to anyone, not any longer.
I knew I was going to get in trouble but I didn’t care. What was the worst that could happen? They’d ground me? I already had enough weird rules to follow, and it’s not like they could keep me from watching TV or going online when I couldn’t do that anyway. My anger gave me a sort of clarity: I was already trapped. And that meant getting in trouble couldn’t make anything any worse.
I was down the road when I realized where I was going. There weren’t too many places nearby, so I guess it wasn’t much of a surprise.
My feet were leading me straight toward Vanessa’s.
I was going to go and apologize and tell her that we should really run away together. We could go to a big city where the stupid adults in our lives could never find us, and we would have fun and not be stuck out here in the woods.
I really thought that Mom would drive by and make me stop walking. Maybe she realized I needed to be out of the house. Maybe she realized there were too many rules. Or maybe she knew the truth, that I was going to go talk to Vanessa after she’d run off.
Or maybe she just knew that I was angry, and that she needed to let me blow off some steam.
It didn’t matter. In no time at all, after not being passed by a single car, I was on the side path that led to Vanessa’s house.
The woods were once again thick and quiet here, heavy. Like everything was waiting and watching me pass. The woods were eerie, but they were just woods.
There weren’t any ghosts to come out and scare me in the light of day, no monsters waiting in the bushes. And every step was another reminder that I’d been lied to all this time, that we were all just playing along to keep Grandma from feeling bad.
I didn’t want to play make-believe anymore. Not when it was ruining my life.
After what seemed like no time at all, I reached Vanessa’s house.
It was definitely much cooler in the glade, and the air smelled heavy. No scents of baking today. No cookies or cinnamon.