Mike stepped forward and leaned on the other side of the island. “I know you’re hurt right now, Charles. You have the biggest heart of almost anyone I’ve ever met. What he did in inexcusable. I get it. But I don’t want you to regret not giving him another chance.”
“I don’t know if I can, Mike.”
He nodded. “I get it. I do. When I lost Lex I thought I was going to die. I wanted to give up the job. I wanted to quit and kidnap her and move to a remote location where she wouldn’t have a choice but to be with me. When I saw her kissing Luke I almost ripped his fucking head off. I wanted to fire him and kick his ass, but he wasn’t the one to blame. I was. I never told her how I felt about her. I went along with being friends-with-benefits because she wanted it, but it killed me every time I had to leave her or watch her leave me. I ached to hold her all night long, to wake up with her by my side. But I was stupid enough to let other things get in the way. I know Max is feeling the same way right now. I recognized the look on his face from the one I saw in my mirror back then. He’s hurting too, Charles.”
I shrugged. “It’s different though. You put Lex first. You loved her, you just didn’t want to tell her because you knew she’d bolt. Max didn’t put me first. He put his sister first. And I don’t blame him, but I can’t spend my whole life as second best. I told him that too.”
“Maybe that’s why he told you about Abby. Because you’re not second in his life anymore.”
I shook my head as the doorbell rang. “I’ll get the Thai,” Mike said, kissing the side of Lexi’s head as he passed by her.
“I know how you feel, Charles. I was scared too, but-“
“I’m not scared, Lex. I know that’s hard to believe, but I’m not. I was. But before he told me everything I let go of my fears. I decided I was ready to be happy with Max. And for the first time my fears weren’t holding me back, but the same thing happened anyway. He wasn’t ready to put me first.”
Mike came back with the food, depositing bags onto the island. “Let’s eat. After that you can decide if you want to open the box,” Mike suggested.
I nodded.
We all filled plates and carried them into the living room. Mike and Lexi turned on a movie while we ate. When I was done I pushed my plate away, but the box was calling me from the kitchen. I knew I wouldn’t be able to ignore it forever. With the movie still on to distract me, I dug a pair of scissors from a drawer in the kitchen and carried the box to the living room.
Mike and Lexi stopped watching the movie as I sliced through the tape holding the box together. I peeled back the cardboard and found an envelope sitting on top, my name scrawled across the front.
I took a deep breath and opened it.
Charlotte,
I know you love all your customers, but I wanted you to have these mugs for those extra special people in your life. One for each of your best friends, their ‘men’ (as you call them), one for me (hoping I count), and one for Grams, who I know is always with you.
I love you,
Max
The box was heavy and inside was a bunch of tissue paper. I felt through the paper and found something hard. In my hand came out a chunk of paper surrounding something circular. When I unwrapped it I found a coffee mug… with the Bite Me! logo on it.
Tears immediately sprang to my eyes. Again. Of all the mugs I’d collected over the years, I’d never gotten any made with my logo. I wanted to, something I told Max one night when he asked about the mugs. The fact that he remembered and went to the trouble to do it, hurt.
In a good way.
In a bad way.
I turned each mug over in my hand and fought the tears that wanted to drip down my cheeks. Fought and lost.
When the movie was over I washed the mugs and set them on the counter in Lexi and Mike’s kitchen, unable to bring myself to do anything else. A part of me wanted to throw them against the wall, but Max was right… those mugs were for special people. I couldn’t destroy something so wonderful just because I was upset. My friends deserved more.
Even if seeing those mugs every day would remind me of what I’d lost.
The next day Mike opened the door to another package from Max. He didn’t say anything, according to Lexi, just handed over the box and left. Inside was a framed picture of Grams and me, my favorite picture of the two of us. The note said…
Charlotte,
This picture means as much to you as you mean to me. She deserves a place of honor so I framed this so you could see her daily, just like I want to see you. Maybe you can put the picture with Grams’ mug. She was first in your life for a long time, and you’re first in mine. Now and always.
I love you,
Max
Monday Lexi and Mike went back to work, making me nervous about accepting a gift from Max alone. All day I was anxious, waiting for the doorbell to ring. I couldn’t deny that I was disappointed he’d given up so quickly. It had been three days. What did that say about me, or us, that he would be over me and move on that quickly? Three days wasn’t enough for me to get over him. Three years wouldn’t be enough. Three lifetimes probably wouldn’t be enough.
Shortly after Lexi and Mike returned from work the shrill sound of the bell rang through the condo. Mike opened the door to reveal Max. Lexi and I were sitting at the island, in clear view of the door.
It was the first time I’d seen him since I asked him to leave my apartment. Max looked about as good as I felt. His face had more stubble than usual and his eyes were dark-rimmed and sunken in. It looked like he’d barely slept, something I could relate to without even trying.
Max took a step toward me, but Mike held up his hand to stop Max’s progress. I sucked in a breath, undecided if I wanted him to fight to come to me or leave me alone. It didn’t matter though. Max didn’t push it. He handed over the box he held and turned away.
Inside the box was a cupcake display for me to set some cupcakes on top of the display case, another thing I mentioned I wanted one day.
Charlotte,
I guess this isn’t such a personal gift, but Bite Me! is personal. It’s the place we met, it’s the place you pour your heart every day, it’s the place I knew I loved you, it’s the place I want to be every day. Maybe this display can help bring in customers for special events so they can see what beautiful work you do.
I love you,
Max
Tuesday Max showed up with a complete set of sugar and creamer containers with Bite Me! on them.
Charlotte,
For that professional look you said you’re going for. I know how hard you work and that you’ll never buy these for yourself, even though you want them. I hope you enjoy seeing your customers use them, since you never add cream or sugar to your own coffee!
I love you,
Max
Wednesday he handed over a small box, again without a word. When Mike closed the door he passed the box to me. With shaking hands I opened it up. Inside was a beautiful cupcake necklace with pink stones set in as the frosting.
Charlotte,
Do you remember Friday night… in the kitchen… with the pink frosting? I’ll never look at the stuff again without thinking of you. And I’ll never eat it again without wishing it was on you. The pink diamonds are nowhere near as valuable as you are.
I love you,
Max
I didn’t eat dinner that night. I couldn’t sit with Lexi and Mike and pretend I was okay. I was more confused than I’d ever been. I loved him, that hadn’t changed. I didn’t think it ever would, but I couldn’t sit back and let my life happen around me. I couldn’t allow Max to make decisions that would affect me without thinking about how I would react. I couldn’t be a passive part of a relationship.
And letting Max off the hook for not telling me about Abby and SkinnyCakes would tell him I was okay with him keeping secrets from me. And that I was okay with being pushed to the back when it suited him.
I woke up early the next morning as I always did. Even th
ough I had a month off I was still up by four every day. I quietly snuck into the kitchen, feeling a need to bake. I hadn’t done much since I’d moved in with Lexi and Mike, but I couldn’t lose that part of myself too.
I mixed the batter by hand, not wanting to wake Lexi and Mike. When it was just right, I scooped it into the cupcake tin Lexi kept under the oven. I slid the muffins into the warm oven and turned to start a pot of coffee.
As I pulled the pan from the oven I heard footsteps behind me. “You’re up early,” Lexi groaned.
I smiled. “I was trying not to wake you guys up.”
Lexi shook her head. “We get up early too, but usually not for about another 3o minutes. Mike smelled your muffins.”
“They should be cool enough to eat soon.”
“How are you?”
It was a simple enough question, but one I didn’t really know how to answer. “I’m confused.”
“So you’re baking?”
I smiled. “It’s what I do. Maybe if I can bake through all this it’ll make sense to me. I just don’t know if I can get over him lying.”
“How did he lie, Charles?” Lexi asked.
“He didn’t tell me about any of it. I asked him over and over again where she worked and he never told me. Lexi, you know how I feel about being honest.”
Lexi nodded and poured herself a cup of coffee. “I do know how you feel about being honest. That’s why I need to say something.” Lexi took a deep breath and set her mug down. “I didn’t know any of that stuff Mike told you the other day. But even without knowing how Mike was feeling I knew I would have regretted not being with him. I thought the worst of him after my interview. But even thinking he would do something like hand me a job I didn’t deserve, I still wanted him. It hurt because I cared. I think that’s how you’re feeling. You’re hurt. And if you could get past the hurt I think you would realize he did what he did because he didn’t want to lose you.”
“I know he didn’t want to lose me, Lex. But does that make keeping things from me any better?”
Lexi knew there wasn’t anything else she could say. She knew I was right. “Just think about what I said, okay?”
I nodded and Lexi walked back to her bedroom. A little while later she and Mike came into the kitchen. We all ate fresh muffins in relative silence then they left for work, leaving me alone to bake for the day.
Twenty-Two
I pulled all my ingredients out of my temporary bedroom. I’d stashed them in there so I wasn’t overloading Lexi and Mike’s kitchen. It was big, but not big enough for supplies for 200 cupcakes. I knew I’d have to work in shifts, mixing one flavor at a time in small batches and baking them, but I’d get through it.
I had no choice.
Just as I got everything organized on the oversized island there was a knock on the door. My heart kicked up, with fear or excitement, that it could be Max. I didn’t know if I wanted him there or not, but I couldn’t ignore the door. If it was someone delivering something for Lexi and Mike I’d feel bad for not accepting it.
I peeked through the door to see who it was and was shocked to find Abigail, or Abby, standing on the doorstep. She smiled warmly at me and I opened the door the rest of the way.
“Can I help you?” I asked, confused as to why she would be there.
“Do you remember me? I’m Abigail, well Abby to Max. I’m his sister.”
I folded my arms over my chest. “I know.”
She pressed her lips together in a small smile. “I guess I deserve your hatred. I’m the reason you’re not together anymore.”
That got my attention. “What are you talking about? It had nothing to do with you.”
She shrugged like she didn’t believe me and asked if she could come in. I stepped back to allow her into the house that wasn’t mine and closed the door behind her, peering outside to see if Max might be with her.
“He’s not here,” Abby said, reading my thoughts. “He sent me alone. With this.”
She handed me a note in the newly familiar handwriting. I opened it and read his words.
Charlotte,
I know you have a big event in two days. You said I never asked Abby about sharing her space. You’re right. I should have put you first. But I didn’t put her ahead of you, I put myself ahead of you. I was afraid you would leave me if you knew I’d helped the company you were most fearful of open. It turns out I was right, but not for the reasons I’d assumed.
Today’s gift is not something tangible, but the most sincere gift I can offer you. Abby has agreed to give you exclusive use of one of the stations at SkinnyCakes for as long as you need it. She has also agreed to assist you if you need help. I will be there if you need me as well, although I doubt you want to see me. Please, let me, let us, help you. I don’t want to be the cause of your dreams going under.
I love you,
Max
I sighed heavily. I didn’t want to put Abby out. I knew she wouldn’t care, hell she’d offered before Max even asked, but I didn’t know how to accept help. How to take from someone else.
“I’m not exactly sure what the note says, but I know Max is telling you that you’re welcome to bake at SkinnyCakes. I have three stations and I only use two. You aren’t going to be in my way, but even if you were, I’d do it for you. We have very different products, even though we’re both bakers, and I don’t see you as competition. I’d love to be able to help you out, regardless of how you feel about my brother, because I believe in helping you, in making Bite Me! stay viable.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know if viable is going to be an option by the time I open back up.”
“So we keep it viable now. Come on. Pack up your stuff and come with me. We’ll talk while we bake.”
I still had doubts, but I knew if I didn’t accept her offer, not Max’s but Abby’s, that I wouldn’t be able to make things work for my clients. And failure was not an option.
~*~
“Do you think you can work in here?” Abby asked once we’d unloaded all my supplies. “You’ll have your own fridge and your own work station. I already had an extra set of keys made and you can come and go as you please.”
“Why are you doing this?”
Abby gave me a small smile. “It’s obvious my brother loves you. He’s never had anyone in his life he would turn to as much as he’s turned to you-“
“He never turned to me. It was just sex.”
I winced. She probably didn’t need to know that about her brother. Abby didn’t look affected though.
“I don’t believe you. He may not have come to you as much as you hoped he would, but he was with you anytime he wasn’t with me, helping me get this place open, or working. Maybe he didn’t confide much in you, but Max is a pretty basic guy. He’s the most positive person I’ve ever met. Nothing gets to him. Until you. I know you love him, but he hurt you. I get it. If I’d known what he was doing I would have stuck my boot so far up his ass he would have had no choice but to tell you. But he didn’t tell me until it was too late.”
“I don’t know if it matters. In my mind he lied to me. It’s not something I can just brush off and accept.”
Abby nodded. “I understand. My ex cheated on me. The fact that he slept with someone else didn’t bother me as much as him lying to me about it. Sure, it wouldn’t be an affair if I’d known because we just would have split then, but the hardest part was being the fool.”
“I’m sorry, Abby. You must think I’m so silly. I’m upset over nothing compared to what you went through.”
Abby held up her hand. “Don’t. Charlie, this isn’t a contest. I’m not telling you about my ex so you’ll think you don’t have a reason to be upset. I’m telling you that so you know I understand. Losing trust is hard, sometimes irreparable. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to date again. You have to let go and trust someone in order to be in a relationship and I’m so raw I don’t know if I’ll ever get over that.”
I had the undeniable urge
to hug her. “I’m sorry, Abby. I can’t imagine going through something like that.”
Abby nodded. “It sucks, but I have something new to throw myself into. Thanks to Max. Without his help I never would have made this happen.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. I knew she was trying to make me feel better, trying to convince me her brother was a good guy. The problem was she didn’t tell me anything I hadn’t learned about him. I knew how wonderful Max was. Which was exactly why having him lie to me hurt as badly as it did. I wanted to believe he wasn’t lying, that he had been the simple, happy, honest guy his sister idolized. Instead he’d kept things from me.
“Why don’t we get started?” I suggested, unable to stand there and contemplate my future with Max. Abby nodded and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Two hours later I was feeling like myself again. I’d gotten used to Abby’s equipment and I was feeling better about everything with Max. I still didn’t want to see him or talk to him, but my head was less foggy.
“I usually order in lunch. Do you want to join me?”
“Sure. That sounds great. What are you ordering?”
Abby shrugged. “I don’t know. With the cold outside I was thinking about Soup’s On. Have you ever had their soup?”
I nodded and swallowed the new lump in my throat. Of course she mentioned the place Max sent me lunch from. I couldn’t get away from him, not with his sister around.
“I’ll order a few different kinds. We can put the leftovers in the fridge and finish up tomorrow. The one over here isn’t in use yet.”
Abby called the restaurant, oblivious to my dampening mood. I wanted to get to know her, but I didn’t think I could handle the constant reminders of Max. Abby was sweet though, and we worked well together. If she hadn’t opened her own bakery we could have made one hell of a team.
“Lunch will be here soon. I’ll-“
Someone knocked on the glass out front, interrupting Abby’s words. My heart pounded in my chest, but there was no reason to think it would be Max.
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