by Alicia Ryan
Tuesday felt his jaw drop. “I swear I don’t know when you’re serious and when you’re just trying to shock me.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of a win-win for me either way.”
Tuesday pushed Price out of his doorway, sending him stumbling into the living room. “Can you please be serious for once?”
Price grunted, steadying himself on a barstool. “I can try.”
Sighing, Tuesday stepped past Price, relaxed and felt his wings come into view. He turned his head; they looked the same – black as night and stretching eight feet on either side, almost brushing each of the far walls of the living room.
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah,” he said, thinking that, for once, Price’s reaction was right on the money.
“Holy shit.”
“You already said that.”
“I don’t know what else to say! What the hell happened?”
Tuesday shook his head. “I felt them appear when I was chasing Red Bull away from the diner. Pretty sure I was thinking of killing him at the time. That’s all I can figure.”
“Well,” Price pointed out, “it’s sort of one of the rules that you can’t be a Good angel and go around killing humans – no matter how awful they are.” He stretched out both his arms, his eyes still twice their usual size. “But this… Maybe you should go talk to Ariel. This is beyond me.”
“Haven’t you ever been tempted to kill a human?”
Price thought for a moment. “Can’t say that I have. Don’t think I care enough about them to bother.”
“But you told Charlie to commit suicide,” Tuesday reminded him.
“Not out of malicious intent, though.”
“Shit.”
“Like I said,” Price agreed.
***
Tuesday flew out to the crack he’d opened in the earth when he’d chased Red Bull. Stepping over the edge, he closed his eyes and folded his wings around him. The world opened up, and he fell into the domain of the Fallen.
When he started to feel warmer, he opened his eyes and unfurled the wings. Skipping the first two levels, he flew down the outside of the framework of hell until he reached the third, sailing over the railing and landing softly on the red marble of the courtyard.
To his surprise, Ariel was there to greet him. She was naked again, her dark wings visible, but folded behind her.
“I felt you come in,” she explained, crossing over to him and grabbing his wrist on top of the mark.
He sucked in his breath as a wave of heat and desire washed over him. “Why does it do that?” he whispered.
“Because I will it,” she answered simply. “Because you chose it.”
She let go and walked the length of one of his still outstretched wings, running her hand along it. “So beautiful,” she said on an audible exhale. “So strong.”
Tuesday shook his head. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. It’s got to be a mistake.”
Ariel walked back, still running her hand along the dark feathers. He shivered, not having realized a touch to his wings could be so…interesting.
Facing him again, she grabbed his mark a second time. “We should go. These are my public rooms. My private room is further down.”
He gulped. “How far down?”
“I’m a fallen archangel, darling. It’s very far down.” She cocked her head to one side. “Will you come?”
Another choice, Tuesday thought, and like his human forebears he was going to choose knowledge. “I’ll come.”
Another drop, this time with Ariel holding his wrist. As they fell, the air got warmer and the fire below ever brighter. Tuesday thought of Icarus and began to wonder if he’d survive his choice. The flames below burned and flared like a huge sun.
When it seemed he might begin to smolder, he felt Ariel’s blue flame shoot up around them both, this time cooling rather than burning. Perilously near the reach of the flames, Ariel turned, guiding them through a shimmering opening into a brilliant courtyard with a floor of sapphire and clear walls that reflected the orange gleam from the flames outside. He could make out other rooms beyond, with floors and walls that seemed to alternate blue and clear. In the center of the room stood a crystal tree, easily twice his height, and from its branches hung glittering jewels of every color.
“Is this diamond?” he asked, indicating the nearest wall.
“That’s right. It offers protection from the heat, as do the sapphires, which provide more privacy.”
“But if the flames are your punishment…?”
“This place was created parallel to the center of earth, a constant reminder that we are below the humans. But we were not forbidden access to the fruits of the deep earth. We mined for years, and Lucifer and I designed a fortress for those of us who were cast out.” She pointed downward. “He lives below, surrounded by layers of granite, which he says he prefers to the beauty of diamonds.”
Tuesday shook his head. “We’re just one level away from the devil?”
“There were eight archangels in heaven. Only two of us rebelled, so in this realm, we are the strongest and the most culpable. Our place is closest to the flame.”
“So you and Lucifer alone decided to go to war against God and the six other archangels?”
She offered up a slight smile. “It wasn’t quite as one-sided as that. Lucifer had dominion over all the lesser angels. He was their friend and confidant - their intercessor with God. Many of them followed him in his rebellion, choosing him over a God they felt, but had seldom seen.” Her smile faltered a bit. “Lucifer can be very persuasive. Even Gabriel, God’s messenger, was hard-pressed to compete with him.”
“What was your dominion?” Tuesday asked, remembering Price’s words of caution.
“In Heaven, I had dominion over light, fire, beauty. I painted the ceiling of heaven with light, and I kept lit the golden torches that lined the streets leading to the Father’s palace.” She smiled, her eyes gone wistful. “Blue flame for a golden God.”
“And now – you still have your blue flame.”
She nodded. “Not everything was taken from us. After earth was created, before Lucifer had gathered enough soldiers for his war, I also had dominion over the oceans, the skies and the constellations of earth – all that was blue or lit from within. After the fall…” She sighed. “I was given dominion over what I had created – pleasure and pain. But I retained my talent for creating beauty and flame, and some of my other’s talent for storing and disseminating knowledge.”
One word in particular caught Tuesday’s attention. “I think maybe I shouldn’t ask, but what – or who – was your other?”
“Raphael – one of the other archangels. Like humans, you see, we were divided in two – two halves that made a whole. The lesser angels were whole unto themselves, with nothing to divide their loyalty or their love from God. Or so he thought. Even he didn’t quite recognize all of Lucifer’s power, I think.”
She nodded toward the only doorway that led to the interior. “Let’s go inside.”
As they walked, she resumed her story. “Raphael was the archivist of Heaven, with dominion over knowledge. When I fell, some of my talents remained with him, some of his with me. He was awarded my dominions on earth.
“Lucifer’s other half was Sabeal, who had dominion over love. In addition to having dominion over the lesser angels, Lucifer was also the architect. He built all the beautiful structures of heaven to mirror and pay tribute to God’s glory.”
She turned to him. “That’s one of the reasons he was so angry. He felt he had done so much for the Father, and then he was thrown over for a race of slaves. He thought he deserved better.” She shrugged. “And maybe he did.
“Anyway, after the fall, that’s how he was able to build this structure. He was still the architect.” She started shaking her head and her mouth fell into a deep frown. “But if he brought any of Sabeal’s love with him…he keeps it firmly under wraps.”
“But your other gav
e you knowledge?”
She nodded. “That’s how I was able to plant that infamous tree in the first garden.”
“Who are the others? The other archangels, I mean. They’re still in heaven?”
“They are. Michael and Gabriel, the warrior and the messenger, and Judiel and Baralach, with dominion over song and healing, make up the rest of the eight. They remain with the Father, and neither Lucifer nor I have seen any of them since we were banished.”
“And only you and Lucifer left.” He thought for a moment. “Why didn’t your other halves come with you?”
She sighed, and pushed open a sapphire door. “None of the others felt outraged by the Father’s new creation. Love for the Father came before love for their others.”
“But you and Lucifer threw over both – both your love for your others and your love for God. I don’t understand.”
“Lucifer felt betrayed by God, and not even Sabeal’s love could overcome the loss he felt. As for myself, I defied God’s will to do what I thought was in his best interest, and that of his pets.”
“So are you and Lucifer now…a whole?” His heart started to pound.
“Oh, no. There remains too much suspicion between us, and our aims are too different. Lucifer rules here. I am the second strongest, and I deliver punishments and rewards – pleasure and pain. We are more like…well, co-workers.”
“So hell isn’t really a punishment anymore?”
“Being cast out of the Father’s love and isolated from the other archangels is punishment for Lucifer and me. And the heat of the flames might have eventually driven us all mad had Lucifer not marshaled us to defend ourselves.”
A frown marred her graceful features once again. “But Lucifer’s power is great; I’m not entirely sure it hasn’t grown since we were banished. His hate has spawned terrible things, both here and on earth – things with no other side, things that only radiate hate. Where he found this power, I do not know, but only the Father can create beings with the capacity for love.”
Tuesday’s eyes had been glued to Ariel while she spoke. His mind reeled until he stopped trying to follow all she was telling him and instead took in his surroundings. They stood in a circular room that extended far upward into what looked like the night sky – a great diamond cylinder. Eight of the flame-filled lights that he’d seen on the floors above circled the room, but these were filled only with Ariel’s blue flame. Their light prismed through the multi-faceted walls, projecting blue beams all across the open space.
“This is my aerie,” she explained. “I love to fly. It extends through all the levels, but the sky is an illusion. That point is the entry to earth.”
“Wow. It’s amazing.” Tuesday craned his neck trying to figure out just how high it went.
“Thank you. I think so. I tried to get Lucifer to build one for himself, but he prefers his cavern. Rage has taken the place in him that joy once occupied, I think.”
She looked at him then, seeming to return to the present place and time. “I believe I can ease some of your fear about your wings,” she said, letting go of his wrist and plunging her hand under the top layer of black feathers.
Tuesday grunted out a sharp breath, feeling for all the world as if she’d just entered him in the most intimate way. “What-”
“We’ll get to that. Look here.”
Where her hand went, the black feathers rose a few inches, and a streak of purest white shone from underneath.
He sucked air back into his lungs in shock. “Is it…is it all white underneath?”
She walked all the way to the tip of his wing and back, raising a different level of feathers on each pass. All the feathers except those on the top were white.
“What does it mean?” he asked, trembling.
“I believe it means they are competing for you. You’ve done something for which the Father would have you repent and enter heaven, and because of which you’ve drawn Lucifer’s attention. Lucifer will hope to lure you here permanently.”
She studied his face. “What did you do, Tuesday?”
“I…I intended to kill a man.”
“Why?”
“Because he was rotten to the core and causing pain to someone I used to…well, love.”
She nodded. “But you didn’t kill him, I don’t think.”
“No, I dropped him in the desert, but I didn’t expect him to die. I decided just to frighten him – a lot.” He took a deep breath. “I actually think someone else killed him. Maybe two someones.”
“Interesting. The Father will want you to repent of the means you wanted to employ, Tuesday. He views pain on earth as a small matter compared to reward in heaven – not a sufficient reason to destroy one of his creations.”
“I…I never thought of it that way.”
“And I’m not saying you should. Lucifer has gifted you with the black to remind you where your instincts lie. You think some humans deserve death and punishment – that they are beyond redemption. He will tempt you to use this instinct. He wants soldiers, and I’ll bet he wants you. He’ll try to get you to come to hate humans as much as he does, or at least to derive pleasure from their pain.”
“I would never do that.”
Her blue eyes bore into his. “Don’t underestimate him, Tuesday. If you found one reason to kill on your own, he can find a thousand more that will seem justifiable. And if you act on them all, or he wins you to his cause directly, killing may start to seem a sport.”
Tuesday ran his hand over his brow and up into his hair. “I thought this was going to be simple, you know. Pick Good, pick Bad, be an angel.”
She laughed, and the sound fell over him like jewels dropping on the diamond floor. “Your destiny has never been simple, my love. Even before your death, you were being tested and tempted. Until now, you’ve done very well. I expect the Father was quite sure of you.”
He frowned in confusion.
Ariel smoothed her hands across the soft white cotton of his shirt. He wondered if it was obvious he’d chosen white out of panic. “All your bad luck, Tuesday? Well, let’s just say Lucifer will have his little games. And the Father allowed it because he saw the strength in you; he saw you do the right thing time after time, always stoic, always acting to protect others, even when it meant denying yourself close companionship.”
He looked down at her. “I don’t seem to be lacking for close companionship at the moment.”
She stepped back. “In truth, I do not know if your choice to consort with me would have done this. Gray, perhaps. But they might have come in white. You’d have been denied entrance to hell, of course, but I’m not confined here.”
“I think I need to sit down,” Tuesday said. “Are you telling me I’m some weird in-between angel?”
“You are what you are, Tuesday. I don’t make a habit of repeating myself.”
“Sorry – feeling a little slow at the moment. Probably because I’ve only been dead a few weeks, and I’m not an archangel who’s been everywhere and seen and done everything for all eternity. Please, forgive my confusion.”
“Temper, temper,” she cautioned. “That’s what got you into this fix in the first place.”
Tuesday glared at her. “Very funny.”
“There is one advantage to the black wings.”
“Do tell.”
“You can kill with them – humans, of course, but also demons, even angels.”
“How?” He shook his head. “No, don’t tell me. Why would I ever do something like that?”
“The other dark angels may not like that you’re on the fence, for one thing.”
“So now I’m in danger for my life?”
“Possibly.”
“But how? I mean, we’ve established that I am already dead.”
“A dark angel can kill. Killing an ethereal being extinguishes its existence. You would dissipate into nothingness.”
He eyed her non-feathered wings. “Can you do that?”
She shook her head
. “No - only the dark angels, the ones who were once human. God’s final gift to his creation, it seems, as it does wind up being a thorn in Lucifer’s side more often than not.”
“Do dark angels get wards? Don’t they just kill their Good angel partners?”
“You can’t kill God’s angels. Only those that reside in hell.”
Tuesday thought up a dark blue leather couch and sank down into the cushions. “I wasn’t kidding,” he said. “I really do need to sit down.”
He looked up at his beautiful blue fallen angel. “Ariel, what do I do?”
She stood before him, and he leaned forward, so she could run her hands through his hair. “Just be true to yourself.”
“What if I don’t know what that means anymore?”
“Answer me this, Tuesday. If Red Bull couldn’t have been permanently scared away, which he mightn’t have been without the black wings, by the way, would you have killed him or let him continue to stalk and hurt Mary?”
The answer sank deep and lodged painfully in his heart. “I would have killed him.”
“And knowing what you know now – does that change your mind?”
Tuesday thought about it for the briefest moment, but then shook his head. “No. I’d still do it if it came to that.”
“Then embrace what you are. Flout them both, if that is what you wish. They will fight over you, tempt you, punish you, but only you can determine who you are – and who you will become.”
He looked up into eyes grown fierce. “Is that why you’ve picked me?” he asked. “Did you know this would happen?”
She nodded. “I looked at you, and saw a kindred spirit, my Tuesday. But your choices were – and always will be – your own.”
“Will you help me?” He knew his voice sounded small.
“If you will help me.”
He gave a bitter laugh. “What could you possibly need me for?”
“I need you to help me feel joy. I’ve been alone for a very long time, and you’ll have to forgive me for being just a little impatient. I’m delighted with the choices you’ve made.”