I meet his gaze and realize that he really believes that I’ll be happier here without him. I’ve never been as happy as I have been since I found him in New York.
It feels like I’m not wanted and it hurts a lot. Sometimes I wish that I had more experience with men so that I’d know what to say or do right now. As much as I hate being in the city, I want to go with him. It won’t be forever, which made it easier when we’d spoken about living there.
“What’s changed?”
He frowns and looks at me with confusion, so I clarify, “We had plans to head back to the city together.”
“You love it here, and as much as I love you, I don’t want you in the city, which you dislike.”
“I wouldn’t dislike it, because you would be there.”
“Only to sleep.” He sighs.
I’m fighting a losing battle to get him to take me with him, when it’s obvious he doesn’t want me there. His mind is made up. Taking my hand back, I settle into the chair, and continue staring out of the window, ignoring him.
“Dinner’s going to be ready. Um, you coming to eat?” he nervously asks.
I shake my head. “I’ve lost my appetite.”
“Felicity?”
“Please give me some space, Kasey,” I request quietly.
He mutters under his breath and then slams the bedroom door behind him.
My head aches with trying to make sense of the sudden change in Kasey. We’ve been together for less than a month, but we’ve spent all of that time together, joined at the hip. So why is he so keen to be away from me now?
Unsure of how much time has passed, but it’s dark outside when I decide to move into Blake’s room for the night. I want to avoid saying goodbye to Kasey because that will just hurt me all the more.
Gathering my sleep things, I quickly dash from Kasey’s room and quickly enter Blake’s. He gives me a startled look from his position on the bed, which turns into a frown when he notices the nightshirt in my hands.
“What’s going on?”
“I need to sleep in here tonight.”
“You’ve fallen out with Kasey?” he asks the question innocently enough but that’s all it takes to finally bring my tears.
My whole body shakes as my legs give way and I fall to the floor. My stomach hurts with how hard I’m crying and I vaguely hear Blake begging me to get up from the floor and come to him.
I slowly crawl to his bed and as soon as I reach it, Blake hauls me up and into his arms. He tucks me under the covers with him and holds me, letting my tears dry. When I’m completely drained, he wipes my face with his discarded shirt before tossing it to the floor.
“Now talk to me,” Blake begs.
“He’s going to New York tomorrow, and I only found out when his brother asked if he was packed.” I hiccup. “We talked before and I was supposed to be going back with him. I don’t know what’s changed. Why doesn’t he want me there with him?” I sniffle against Blake’s chest. “I’m going to stay in here with you until he’s gone.”
Blake sighs. “Hiding from your problems won’t solve anything. Trust me, I know.”
“I’m staying in here,” I reply. “It will hurt too much to say goodbye to him.”
“Felicity, what exactly did he say? Did he say it was over between you both? Help me to understand what’s really going on.”
“He didn’t say that exactly.” I quickly explain to Blake what Kasey had said, and embarrassingly add, “We haven’t had sex in a week.”
“Jesus, fuck…Felicity!” Blake explodes. “That is seriously too much information.”
“It’s true though…and when it’s usually every night, I can’t help but wonder, you know?”
“Wonder what?”
“If he still loves me.” I quickly cover Blake’s mouth with my hand. “I don’t want to see him before he leaves. I can’t Blake.”
“Okay…Go and change in the bathroom. You’ll be uncomfortable in your jeans.”
27
Kasey
I’ve stayed out of my room for a good portion of the evening to give Felicity the space that she’d wanted, when I’d planned on spending every second until I left with her in my arms. I hadn’t meant to royally screw up with her, I just have no idea what to do.
My life in the NHL is in New York, but the life I crave with Felicity is here in Montana. I’ve tried to pull away from her this week so that it wouldn’t hurt us so much, when I should have been talking to her and making sure that she knows how much I love her. We should have been talking about our plans in New York, about what type of house she wanted to live in. Instead I’d left it while trying to find the right time to tell her I’d been called back, and screwed everything up.
No matter what happens next, I need to make sure that she knows how much I love her, and what I have planned for us. I can’t leave her thinking the worst.
Pushing into my room, I switch the light on and stare blankly when I don’t see her in the room. I quickly check the bathroom and panic. Where the hell is she?
Blake!
Knocking lightly on his door, I poke my head inside and my heart sinks to my feet when I see Felicity curled into her brother. She’s out of it, but Blake meets my gaze over the top of her head.
Moving closer, I close my eyes to try and get my equilibrium back before I reach for her. Over the top of her head, I hold Blake’s gaze. “I love her,” I whisper. “I’m not used to this and I didn’t explain properly, but I’m going to rectify that as soon as she wakes. I’m not leaving her until I have.” He searches my eyes and then nods, releasing his hold on his sister.
“Don’t hurt her again. She hasn’t cried like that since we lost Mom and Dad.”
My heart drops to my toes at the idea of hurting her that much. I’m an asshole who should have explained.
Nodding at Blake, I gently collect her into my arms, and carry her back to our room. She’s restless as I place her in our bed, so I quickly strip and climb in with her, wrapping her in my arms. She stirs and tries to push me away, instead I roll her to her back and hover over her.
“Please let me explain,” I beg, the despair I see in her eyes very nearly my undoing. “I didn’t explain properly, and I should have. I should have talked my plans over with you instead of withdrawing to make it easier on me.”
Giving her some of my weight, I lay my palms against her face. “I heard you talking with Blake last week. About how unhappy you’d be in New York.”
Her eyes widen and she shakes her head. “I didn’t say that.”
“Blake did, and you didn’t disagree with him, and we’d already talked about that.” I drop my forehead to hers. “I have to go back and my plan was, is, to find us somewhere else to live. Somewhere quieter with a park close by. I hated the thought of leaving you, but I didn’t want you coming with me and hating it enough that you’d leave me. That’s why I pulled back, because I figured it would be easier for me. I’m an asshole, and I’m so damn sorry, Felicity.”
Leaning forward, I kiss her lips. “Please forgive me.” Tilting my head for a better angle, I seal our lips together in a kiss so carnal that I feel I’m about to explode in pure joy. The subtle shifting of Felicity’s hips against my aching erection tells me all I need to know.
Breaking from the kiss, I whisper, “I love you. I’m yours, baby.” Spreading kisses down her neck and over her collarbone, I quickly remove her nightshirt and kick my sweats off. “I’ve missed you so damn much this past week. It killed me to keep you at a distance.”
Her fingers thread through my hair and cupping the back of my head, she tips my face to meet her gaze. “I love you too. The distance wouldn’t have hurt so much if I didn’t.”
“I know, baby.” I nuzzle between her breasts and cupping one, I pinch and rub the bud of a nipple. I capture the other with my lips, massaging it with the bridge of my mouth. Her body shudders and when her legs wrap around me, I rub my hard shaft between the lips of her pussy. Her arousal coats the le
ngth of me, setting off a trembling in my legs.
The sharp tug on my hair has my mouth hovering above hers, a breath away from sealing them together.
“Inside me…I ache, Kasey.” She arches her pelvis against mine, causing my eyes to cross at the pressure against my shaft.
Panting for breath, I rise, and grabbing hold of myself, guide it home. My breath catches at the back of my throat at the feel of her silken walls clasping along me, trying to suck me inside of her. “Amazing,” I mumble, and shiver when her fingers dig into my ass.
“You like that,” she comments as she does it again with her fingers. “I feel you,” she groans. “When I dig my fingers in, you harden and jerk. It’s like a livewire straight to your dick.”
Bursting out laughing, I drop and completely surround her, my hands holding her head still. “You’re the livewire straight to my dick.” Sealing our lips together, I take everything she’s offering and more.
Our bodies rock together and the harder I thrust, the wetter she gets. I feel like my balls are about to explode and the air I breathe is hot and heavy.
Felicity reaches above her head, shoving her fabulous tits into my face as she arches, but before I can latch onto them with my mouth, her legs slide down my thighs, her feet between my legs and she arches. Her vaginal muscles clench so tightly around me that I see stars as my release shoots out of my cock in large bursts. Felicity’s orgasm grabs ahold of me, pulsing and milking me dry. With one last release, I collapse against her, rolling so that I don’t crush her.
I keep her thigh against my hip so that I can stay buried snug inside the heat and the pulsing warmth that belongs to only me.
Minutes go by while we catch our breath and I slowly slip free before I make love to her all over again. It’s what I crave, but she’s tired and I want her to sleep.
Tugging the cover over us, I brush the hair back from her face, and kiss her nose. “Sleep, baby.”
She settles against me, and asks, “What time do we leave?” causing my heart to drop to my feet.
Closing my eyes, I admit, “I still want you to stay here. That hasn’t changed and neither has New York. It’s still the place you hate. I want you happy.” I kiss her forehead, holding her tightly against my chest. “I’ll miss you so much, but I can’t take you with me right now knowing how much you’ll hate the place.”
Her eyes swim with unshed tears as she meets my gaze. “I want to be with you.” She searches my eyes and very slowly a tear runs down her cheek. I reach out to capture it, but she moves her face away.
Pulling out of my arms, she turns away and moves to the edge of the bed, her sadness is palpable in the room.
“Felicity, babe…Please don’t be like this, especially when I have to leave in the morning.” I reach out and touch her back, but she rejects my touch.
I sigh and roll to my back wondering how the hell I can make this right.
Take her with you.
I want to take her, but I’m terrified that she’ll hate being alone all day, every day, and that she’ll be miserable.
She’s already miserable.
“Felicity, I love you,” I whisper the words from my heart, but they go ignored.
Tears well in my eyes at the hopelessness of the situation, and for once in my life I want to say to hell with my contract and walk away from it. Felicity means more to me than hockey, which has been my life until I met her.
You wouldn’t have to if you took her with you…
“Fuck!” I jump out of bed and pull sweats and a shirt on. There’s no way I can sleep knowing the woman I love more than anyone or anything is upset at being left behind, even when I’m doing that for her. Why can’t she see that I just want her happy? It would kill me knowing how unhappy she is in New York.
Afraid that I’ll break down and give in, I leave my room and drop on the sofa in the living room. Sleep escapes me for the rest of the night, and before the house wakes up, I make my way back to my room with a heavy heart.
Felicity isn’t there, which means at some point during the night she went back to her brother’s room.
I go through my shower and the goodbyes with my family, hoping that Felicity will appear. She doesn’t.
Leaving the farmhouse once Mateo arrives to give me a lift to the airport, I freeze when I’m about to climb into his truck. “Give me a minute.”
Running back into the house, I head straight for Blake’s room, and knocking, I enter. Blake is showered and in his chair but there’s no sign of Felicity. “Where is she?”
“She’s my sister. No matter how much you’ve helped me, my first loyalty is to her.” He turns away. “She doesn’t want to see you.”
“I can’t leave without seeing her.”
“You don’t have much choice.”
Closing my eyes and clenching my fists together, I realize that I really don’t have much choice. “Tell her this between us, isn’t over. It will never be over, because she’s mine and I love her.”
With those words spoken, I walk away, and feel like there is a large piece of lead lodged inside my stomach.
28
Felicity
“Violet’s late,” I say to my brother, who is hiding out in his room. “She’s never late.”
“She isn’t coming.”
My eyes snap to Blake’s. “What?” I question. “What did you do?”
He smirks. “I told her not to come back until I called her.”
Exasperated, I stand facing him with my hands on my hips. “Why the hell would you do that?”
“Because I’m going to refuse physical therapy until you get your ass on a plane to New York.” He folds his arms and gives me a smug look. “He loves you, and you love him. These past two weeks he’s been gone, you’ve been acting even more stubborn than me. That isn’t you. He did what he thought would make you happy, which was leaving you here. You know good and well that you’d have been miserable in New York.”
“Like hell I would have,” I counter. “As long as I would have been with Kasey then I’d have been happy. He’d have come home to me every night, and even if he were exhausted, at least we’d have been together. But no, he didn’t give me a choice.”
“Is that why you won’t talk to him or answer his messages?”
“If he wants to talk to me, then he knows exactly where I am, although,” I bite my lip, wondering how Blake will take the next bit of news, “I’ve found somewhere in town for us to move to.”
Blake blinks a few times. “I get it,” he pauses trying to find the right words, “but are you sure?”
Tears threaten as I sit on the edge of his bed. I’m not sure about anything other than I don’t want to stay here with Kasey’s family when I don’t even know whether or not we still have a future. Blake told me what Kasey said when he was leaving, but when he isn’t here with me, it feels like a lifetime has passed since we were together. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about him and I miss him terribly.
I just don’t know how we are supposed to move forward when he lives in New York and refuses to have me with him. He’s right that I don’t like the city, and yes I hate New York because there are too many people and I’m uneasy when everyone is pushing and shoving and dodging out of the way of others.
“Yes. I just have to figure out a way of moving us.”
“Do they know?” Blake indicates out of his room with his head.
I shake mine. “Not yet. I wanted to tell you first.”
“I think you need to talk to Kasey first. He doesn’t want you to leave.”
Closing my eyes to hide the pain, I say, “Kasey is the one who left first.”
Swiping at a tear, I grab one of the large bags that we used for our clothing when we flew out here, and start tossing my clothes inside, along with Blake’s. He watches me with a puzzled look on his face but stays quiet.
It’s easier to pack because since Kasey left I moved into the room with Blake. It might seem weird to others that I’
m sharing a room with my brother when we’re both adults, but he’s family. He made sure that I had a roof over my head and food on the table and clothes on my body when our parents died. So basically, I don’t care what others think.
Kasey’s family has been more than kind, especially with Blake, but I feel uncomfortable staying here. Lucia has started watching me like a hawk when I’m eating and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I know that I’ve lost weight, but it’s difficult constantly being under scrutiny. So I really don’t have a problem with moving out.
Blake clears his throat, drawing my gaze. “When are you going to tell him?”
I freeze. “Tell him what?” I ask, even though I know what he’s referring to.
Blake lifts a brow as though he can’t believe my answer. “Felicity?” he hisses, frustrated.
“If he comes home, then I might tell him.” Having the last word, I dash from the room and out of the house, with the curious glances of Lucia, Eric, and Sylvia following me. I just need to be alone, so with my hair flowing in the wind, I run alongside the family’s barn and around to the back where I stop to catch my breath.
I look around me, my gaze hazy as the tears that I’ve tried to hold back flow freely down my face. Sobs rack my body as I drop back against the barn. The softness of the breeze and the blue sky do nothing to help me feel better. Nothing will. Part of me knows that Kasey was thinking of me when he left. That he truly believes that I wouldn’t be happy with him in the city. I thought he knew me better than anyone, but him leaving me behind tells me that he doesn’t know me at all.
I want him to come back and talk to me, which is why I’ve refused to talk to him in any way since he left. He says he loves me, but he still left me. I hate him for that.
“Thought I’d find you here,” Eric drawls, snapping me out of my misery. He winces when he meets my gaze. “What’s my asshole of a brother done?”
Love in Game (De La Fuente Family Book 6) Page 15