Breathless, I pulled back. When I looked at him again, his eyes bore into me like a predator, but his lips quivered with anxiety. I’d taken him off guard, and I liked feeling in control. His cock bulged under his jeans. He wanted me bad. A sly smile crept over my lips as I rubbed my finger along his jawline and over his lower lip.
His mouth hung open, and I cupped his chin in my hands, taking in his gaze. He pulled me back for another kiss, but I let it fall on my neck. I enjoyed the feeling of his adoration as his hot mouth ran down my neck and shoulder. He cupped my breast in his hand, squeezing. I gasped with pleasure, but pushed him away.
If I wanted to keep the upper hand in this relationship, or whatever it was, I couldn’t let this go any further. Even though on the outside, he seemed kind of nerdy, there was something about Billy that screamed “control freak,” which I hadn’t seen at first. He’d told me to come with him, with no explanation, brought me to the park when I needed a ride home, and pulled me down the path to this bench. Despite the fact that I liked the kiss, and that I liked the view. He hadn’t asked me what I wanted. It was a red flag that I was determined not to let him get away with.
“We should probably go. I don’t want to make out in public. It isn’t my style,” I said. He might have been a skinny geek, but this guy was used to getting what he wanted. I could see it in his eyes.
He pulled away and ran fingers through his shaggy, black hair. Sitting up straight, he looked out at the water. “I didn’t expect that to happen,” he said, not looking at me. “I’d like you to be my girlfriend, and I’d like to do more kissing. We can go back to my place.”
“Not right now, Billy. I need to get home. Maybe another time.” I had to admit, I was tempted to go with him and see where it went. If the kiss had been any indication of what the sex would be like, I was all in. I just couldn’t do it yet. I couldn’t give him that much without making him work for it. He had me in some kind of magnetic field, pulling me in, whether I liked it or not.
I patted his knee then stood up. I could feel his eyes on my ass as he sat behind me. His focus on me was so intense, it made me gush moisture between my legs. I cleared my throat and turned around to face him, taking his hand in mine and pulling him toward me.
He rose, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, tilting my head up to crush my mouth against his. I couldn’t help it. I was almost ready to go back to his house. His hand gripped my ass. I pulled away, taking his hand in mine. I led him back through the garden to the scooter and waited while he detached the helmet from the seat.
All the way back to my apartment, I admonished myself for kissing him. He’d shown me his true colors today. On one hand, I found his directness attractive. On the other hand, I wasn’t about to give up my decision making to a guy I’d just met. I was already way beyond my comfort zone.
He dropped me off at my new apartment. I had to keep myself from inviting him up. I refused to take things too fast with him. Not that I hadn’t had flings before, but Billy was not fling material. Billy was “will you marry me and have my nerd babies” material. By the girlfriend comment, I could already tell he was not the type to take things half way. It scared the living shit out of me.
Chapter Five: Zoe
When I got home from school the next day, I found a bouquet on my doorstep. I knew who they were from. I lifted the porcelain vase of summer garden flowers and inhaled their scent. I plucked the note off the holder and flipped it over.
Thinking of you.
Billy
I sighed and took the flowers into the apartment, setting them on the kitchen counter. I let my backpack fall on the floor. Leaning on my elbows over the counter, I breathed in the fragrance as my body tingled from head to toe and my heart fluttered. No one had ever bought me flowers. Not even a corsage for prom. I didn’t even go to prom.
I held my head in my hand and thought about our kiss. What was I supposed to do now? Billy was sweet, smart, and kind. I knew he would change everything for me, and I wasn’t ready for that.
I picked up the vase and took it into my bedroom where I sat it on my desk and collapsed on the bed. The heady fragrance and the tingling of excitement pulsed through my body as I lay on my bumpy mattress.
Billy’s soft, full lips had felt heavenly against mine. The kiss had made me feel as if he wanted to consume me, to possess me. Now I felt almost desperate for him. I ran my hand over my breast. My nipples stood erect inside my soft cotton bra. I let my fingers trail lightly over the sensitive spot between my legs.
A jolt of electricity surged through my body and I gasped. I curled up in a ball and hugged my knees, my long hair in a tangled pool around my shoulders. I thought about calling him to thank him, but I felt so confused about my reaction to him that I changed my mind.
My phone rang, and I pulled it from my back pocket. His name lit up the screen. Billy. I sighed and answered.
“Thanks,” I whispered. “The flowers are really pretty.”
“Good, I’m glad you like them.”
“Are you really?” I asked.
“Am I what?”
“Are you really thinking of me?”
“Quite a bit, actually.”
“Me too,” I whispered.
“I want to take you out tonight.” He made it sound like a command instead of a question. It made me uncomfortable.
“I can’t. I’m busy,” I lied.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at the shoot then?”
“Um, yeah. I’ll be there!” I said, too enthusiastically. I didn’t exactly look forward to doing a topless shoot in a semipublic place. There would be a lot of crew, and it gave me a sick feeling in my stomach when I thought about it.
“Alright then.”
We said goodbye, and I laid back on my bed feeling even more confused than before. I told myself, I wouldn’t get involved with him. I’d tell him tomorrow that it wasn’t going to work out for us. I’d just gotten to the city and was way too busy getting my life together to get into a relationship.
The door creaked open and Stacy shouted from the living room about my backpack on the floor. She brought it into my room and set it on my desk chair.
“Wow, where did these come from?” she said, eyeing the flowers.
“They’re from Billy.”
“Seriously? Zoe’s got a boyfriend,” she sang.
“Shut up,” I said falling back on my bed and pulling a pillow over my face.
“Why? I thought you liked him.”
“I don’t know how I feel. He’s kind of weirdly bossy. I also get this feeling that if I let myself get involved with him it’s going to get really serious, really fast. I don’t think I can deal with serious right now.”
“Ah, poor Zoe, has a totally cute, smart grad student sending her flowers. Cry me a river.”
“Come on, Stace. Please don’t.”
“Okay, okay. I understand I guess.” She shrugged and walked out, leaving me with my conflicted emotions. Instead of letting myself get torn up by indecision, I peeled off my pants and shoes and turned on my radio to a hip-hop station.
In front of my closet mirror, I started to move. I flowed through my dance moves, letting my body work out what my mind could not. I mixed hip-hop with contemporary creating an impromptu routine in the small space of my room.
When the song ended, I took a breath and heard clapping from the door. I snapped my head over to see Stacy standing there.
“Zoe, you’re so good. You need to get on a dance crew.”
“Maybe. I’ve got too much on my mind right now to even try.”
Another song came on the radio. I started to move again, watching my arms and legs and torso move to the rhythm of the music. After half an hour, I’d worked up a pretty good sweat, and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Stacy smacked my boy short clad butt as I walked by, and I smirked at her.
I looked in the refrigerator even though I knew it was bare. “You got any money, Stacy? We’re like totally out of food.
”
“Forty-five dollars till payday. But at least we have lights on,” she sang behind me. I turned to look at her. The music still played from my bedroom, and Stacy was in the process of imitating my dance moves. If she hadn’t been such a good friend, I would have informed her she’d failed. Stacy was fit but lacked dexterity and rhythm of any kind.
“I don’t know how you do it,” she said after she stopped embarrassing herself. I tried not to look at her as if I’d just seen a cat trying to paint the Mona Lisa.
“It’s nothing. I’ve been practicing all my life.”
“Don’t be modest.”
“And a butt load of talent,” I said, sticking my tongue out at her.
“You do have talent, and you need to start dancing again.”
“I’ll see what comes up.”
The next day I had to skip school to go to the shoot. I woke at four AM and took the bus to Marcus’s studio. He and Uma drove me to the location. Marcus barely had enough room for me in his SUV because it was stuffed with photography equipment.
We drove south of the airport to an abandoned warehouse district where we parked and got out of the car. There were several other cars already parked in front of a twelve foot tall chain link fence.
When I turned the corner through the gate, I entered a wide concrete lot surrounded by broken down warehouses. Piles of steel bars and twisted metal littered the ground. Pale dawn light glowed hazy pink in the sky, but the lot was cast in dull gray.
People hurried around me carrying equipment. I felt small and insignificant in the face of all the lighting set ups, cables, and cameras being placed around the shoot. To think that this was all for me, made me nervous that I’d screw it up.
Marcus walked behind me and slid his hand around my arm. I looked up at him with a worried expression, and he smiled with a big, toothy grin.
“Exciting eh?”
“Yeah,” I croaked.
“Don’t worry, sweetie. You are going to be fabulous. Your trailer is over there. Hair, makeup, and costumes are all over there. Just ask for Jeanine, and she’ll tell you what to do.”
I walked toward the trailer, feeling like I might throw up. I hadn’t eaten that morning, otherwise it might have been a real possibility. I found Jeanine fussing with a costume rack under a big open tent. Her bobbed, black hair framed her angular face. She looked me up and down critically and directed me toward the hair stylist.
I wondered if I’d disappointed her in some way or if she looked at everyone like that. The hair stylist was a muscular guy with broad shoulders, a shaved head, and a tiny soul-patch under his full lips. He picked up a lock of my hair and let it fall before directing me to the washing station.
He gave me a quick wash then brought me to the styling chair where he trimmed my split ends, blew out my waves, and ran a flat iron through my hair until it was pin straight. Then he drew it back into a tight-ass ponytail that swung down my back.
Next, the tiny woman who was the makeup artist came into the room and applied foundation that made my skin look flawless. She gave me dramatic eyes with black liner, a bronzer blush, and nude lips.
Jeanine returned a few moments later and directed me to the costumes. She handed me what looked like a leather bikini with chains all over it, fishnet stockings and knee-high, high heel boots. I looked at it like it came from an alien planet. Jeanine just pointed to the trailer and told me to go change.
Maybe I’d overestimated my importance, but I’d expected something different. The trailer was the equivalent of a large closet. I had to walk sideways through the door to get to the tiny toilet. I had just enough room to change and maybe sit down.
I tugged off my street clothes and slipped on the costume. When I stepped out of the trailer and got a look at myself, I had to admit, I looked pretty hot. I was like some kind of S&M, dominatrix, gladiator. I smiled at myself, wondering if they were going to give me a whip.
That’s when I saw Billy standing behind a computer terminal, under the tent, near the costumes. He did a double take, said something to the other technician, and walked toward me.
In my heels, he was only about an inch taller than me. I finally felt like we were on equal footing.
“Hi,” he said, looking me up and down.
“Hi.” I put my hand on my hip, making myself feel the part of the dominatrix gladiator.
“You look. Wow.”
I grinned and pursed my lips at him, feeling my power returning. He shifted on his feet, looking uncomfortable. Someone called from the technician booth. He slid his hand down my arm before running back. A shiver went up my skin and goose bumps formed where his hand had been. I felt myself pulsate inside the leather panties. So much for being in control.
A group of models took turns getting their hair and makeup done under the tent. I’d thought I would be the only girl on this shoot. It made me both relieved and irritated that this whole thing wasn’t about me.
Uma found me and directed me to stand in front of some massive lighting umbrellas. I took my spot and listened to Marcus’s instructions as cameras clicked away at me. The light from the sun had brightened, and the lot was cast in a steely blue.
By the time they finished with the first costume, the other girls were ready. Jeanine tugged me back to the costume area and handed me a bottle of water. I drank it while she shoved another costume in my hands.
This one was a shiny, black vinyl cat-suit and a pair of sling back stilettos. I took the cat suit in the trailer and changed. When I came back out, Janine tugged the zipper down until it almost came to my belly button and pulled it open until half my breasts were exposed.
I glanced at Billy, who was looking at something on a monitor. He lifted his eyes and ran them over my body, his jaw dropping. I saw him squirm in his seat and put his forehead in his hand. Good. At least he’s getting an idea of what-was-what around here. I deserved respect and to be asked, not told.
I walked past him with my nose slightly in the air and a strut in my step. The other girls were dressed in similar outfits of different colors, and we shot a series of images together. Marcus had me at the center of the girls through most of the shots.
The sun rose in the sky, casting shadows across the lot. Everything seemed intensified in the brightness. When I went back to Jeanine, she handed me a pair of high heeled riding boots and an outfit that was just strips of leather and buckles. I had no idea what it was. When she explained it to me, it became clear that this outfit would not cover my boobs.
“There’s a robe in the trailer. You can put that on when you come out.”
I went inside and pulled out of the cat suit and stepped into the leather strappy thing. It barely covered my crotch. I was extremely glad I’d shaved most of my pubic hair into a tiny patch. The straps were like suspenders, and there was a buckle that went right under my breasts. I pulled on the riding boots, feeling completely ridiculous. I didn’t want Billy to see my breasts in public like this. I didn’t know if I wanted him to see my breasts at all.
I flung the robe over my shoulders and went outside. The other girls had already changed and were sitting in the tent in bondage bikinis that covered their boobs. So I was the only one, huh? That’s why I got the trailer.
They directed me to my position before Jeanine pulled a horse mask over my head. What the hell! I could barely breathe inside it, not to mention how completely absurd it was. I could just imagine what I looked like. My face stung red.
They instructed the girls around me. Someone pulled my robe off. Someone else handed me a pair of reins. When I looked around through the tiny slits for eyes, I could see a girl’s ass sticking up in front of me as she crawled on the ground. The reins were attached to a bit in her mouth! Oh my God! This was too freaky.
I sucked air into my lungs trying not to pass out. There wasn’t enough oxygen inside the dark mask. I felt claustrophobic. I had to get it together, or I’d blow it. My contract said they had to get their shots, or I didn’t get paid.
>
I pulled the mask up and took a few breaths, taking in the scene around me. The girl on the ground turned her head and gave me a goofy grin.
“Are you alright, Zoe?” Marcus asked, standing next to a tripod.
“Um, fine. I just needed to catch my breath.”
I pulled the mask back down and took the reins of the girl who was apparently my bitch. Marcus instructed me to put my foot on her ass. I carefully placed my boot on her butt and played like I was the horse dominatrix goddess. Whatever that was.
Even though the entire scene gave me an icky feeling in the pit of my stomach, I ignored it and went on. I felt mortified that Billy could see me dressed like this with my boot on some girl’s butt. I could only imagine the thoughts going through his head.
Knowing he was watching sent little tremors of arousal through my nearly naked body. My nipples pinched into rock hard buds. Even with the sensory deprivation under the mask, I felt the cool breeze flick over my body. The affect made me throb. I didn’t want him to see me, but then again, I did. What was wrong with me?
When we finished the scene, Jeanine put the robe over my shoulders and told me to go to makeup. The makeup artist put deep red lipstick on my lips and then placed one of those same bits in my mouth. My body reacted against my rational thoughts. If anyone had touched me, I would have moaned with excitement. I imagined Billy holding the reins on my bit and felt utterly shocked at myself.
Marcus sent me to stand in front of the cameras and told me to look defiant as I bit the bit. I gave him a fierce look, snarling over the leather-covered bar. I guess they liked it because no one complained. All I could think about was Billy watching me.
Marcus called to wrap the shoot. Jeanine put the robe around my shoulders and took the bit from my mouth. I stalked back to the trailer feeling oddly aroused through the humiliation of appearing nearly nude in front of all those people. I’d never taken myself for a fetish freak, but now I wasn’t so sure.
Condemned (Beauty And The Billionaire Geek Book 2) Page 3