by Lynn Red
Right on cue, Devin started giggling. He rocked back and forth, and then, almost immediately afterward, started crying again. I guess as much as I hated him, I also hated that he hurt. Even if he’d made someone else feel like that, once.
“The only cure for him,” Poko said. “Is time. And time, is our most dangerous enemy. Aside from the tremendously powerful beast, I mean.”
Laughter shook his ancient body for a moment, and then he started coughing.
At first it was nothing, just his normal, habitual throat clearing. But then, it became deeper, louder, like air was fighting to escape. With his hand on the nearest wall, Poko shook, spat, and tried to stand.
When Damon grabbed him, Poko waved him off.
“It’s just a fit,” he said, gasping. “It’ll pass.”
Poko doubled over, hacking and sputtering for what seemed like eternity, before he finally accepted Damon’s help to sit down.
“You give me all sorts of speeches about pride, and then won’t take my hand when you need it?” Damon asked. “We all need help, sometimes.”
Nodding, Poko looked up at him.
“True enough. Very true,” he said, between dry, awful coughs. “I think I’m coming out of it. There we are. Much better.”
“Has that been happening a lot, recently?” I asked, rubbing the ancient wolf’s back, amazed at both how bony he was, and at how much he rattled when he breathed. “Do you need a doctor? I’ve never seen anything like that.”
Poko smiled, and wiped his lips on the back of his brown, sackcloth robe.
“I think that a doctor would be very surprised, if they happened to look inside me. But no. Thank you, but no. I feel better. It’s just age, I’m afraid.”
“I’ll say,” Hunter said, mouth and eyes both wide open. “How old are you?”
Damon elbowed him in the stomach, but Poko just grinned.
“No, it’s fine.” Poko said. “Asking is how we learn. He’s, I’m guessing, never happened across an elder before, in Scagg’s Valley. Is that right?”
“Yes, Sir,” Hunter said, looking down. “I didn’t mean to offend you, I’m just…”
“Nonsense!” Poko said. “Only the truly ridiculous would be offended by curiosity. “No, think nothing of it. As to your question, that’s hard to say. I, long ago, stopped thinking in terms of passing days or passing years. But… well past a thousand years.”
Damon and I exchanged a glance that said all we needed to say.
If I could have him for a thousand years, if we could both grow old like Poko, in his cave, I would give anything. Hell, I’d live in a cave.
“Damon will be the same. He will be an ancient elder. He will…”
Immediately, tears exploded down my face. I don’t know how I’d never realized it. I don’t know how I never thought about it, but… I’m just a human, no matter what sort of Fae blood I have. I’m just a normal girl.
A girl who will grow old and die.
I couldn’t be there. I just couldn’t. The whole world seemed to collapse on me at once.
“I have to go,” I said, turning spinning on my heel. “I’m sorry, I… I just, never…”
Then, just like Poko’s coughs, my whole body shook, trembled, quaked, as tears ran down my face, and sobs wracked me.
“Lily,” Damon said, tenderly. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m gonna get old and die. I’m going to have high blood pressure, and need heart surgery, and whatever the hell else, and you’re going to be just fine! You’re going to outlive me by, like, nine hundred years.” I caught my breath for about a half a second.
“I’m sorry,” I said again, between sobs. “I just can’t be here, right now. I… I’m sorry.”
“Go after her,” I heard Poko say, as I was already partway to the cave entrance. “I’ll be here, still, when you return. The pack’s business will be here, still, but—”
“It’s my duty, though, Poko,” Damon protested. “I have to deal with these things now.”
I could hear the tension in Damon’s voice. He was fighting to say the things he said. He hated it, but thought it was what Poko wanted.
“No,” Poko shot back.
His voice was cold steel.
“You have a mate. You have a fated one, to whom you are forever a part. You go to her now, child. Hunter will help me.”
“Yeah,” I heard Hunter say. “Go. Like, now, man. Get out of here. You need to do whatever you can for her.”
By the time I hit the sunlight, Damon was only a few steps behind me.
-12-
“I can’t do this anymore, Damon,” I said. “We’re gonna have a baby! And that baby’s going to get old and die, just like me.”
He grabbed my flailing arms. I lashed out, punching at him out of impotent frustration.
“Lily,” he said. “That’s not true. That’s not the way it is. Poko lived this long, because he wanted to live this long. You know that. He told you that. If that’s not what I want, then that’s not how it’ll go.”
I shook my head for a second, my mouth moving silently. I didn’t know what to say, or how to say it, but I knew I needed to say something.
“The pack, Damon,” I whispered, my eyes and cheeks burning. “The pack needs you. They all need you. I’m just one person, but they’re… they’re everything. And, without you… You heard what Poko said. This creature, whatever he is, could destroy the packs, and enslave everyone. And after this time, there will be another, and another, and another thing, that needs your attention.”
“But, Lily,” he said, grabbing my hands. “You’re what matters to me. You’re my heart, and my soul.”
“What about the pack, Damon? You have duties, responsibilities.” I squeezed his wrists. “You can’t just refuse them and die like a normal person. You’re not normal. I’m not normal. Nothing about us is normal no matter how badly I want it to be.”
Damon’s eyes went dark, stormy, and hard. I knew that look. It was the same one he got when he realized he and Devin were brothers.
“I don’t care about that, Lily. I’ll do my service, I’ll be the best leader I can, but I’m not damning myself to an eternity of pain without you.”
“It may not come to that,” Poko said, hobbling out of the cave, leaning heavily on Hunter’s arm.
“Poko,” Damon said. “I—”
“What you need to do desperately is that you need to listen to advice from an old man,” Poko interrupted. “My mate. She died when you were born. The two of you were the last thing she ever did.”
“I… Wait, what?” Damon shook his head. “What are you saying? My parents aren’t dead. They’re—”
“Not your parents. Or, not, in the crudest sense.” Poko corrected him. “They cared for you, very graciously, and they loved you as their own. And the truth is, they did it, because we weren’t sure which one of you was going to lead. If I’d had only one heir, it would have been a much easier decision. But, with two? There was no way to know.”
I could see the gears grinding away in Damon’s head. There were a million things running through his mind, none of which he was saying. He couldn’t find the words, but that didn’t mean they weren’t there. Instead, he just opened his mouth and shook his head.
“Listen, my son,” Poko said. “It’s a very long story, and I’m not sure we have time, but I can try.”
“I’m… I just…” Damon brushed the hair out of his face, and looked back and forth, then began to pace. “I can’t…”
“Calm yourself, child,” Poko said. “Settle, and listen. This is a story I meant to tell you when you first came here. But I thought it might better to wait until your adopted parents left you in my care.”
“I just,” Damon was wringing his hands. “Why did you keep this from me?”
“For your own safety,” Poko said. “As you now know, yours is not the safest life. Many wish you harm, wish you dead. First, your rival, and then those who threatened your pack. And now, there are those
who threaten all packs. Keeping you in the dark, also kept your mind from betraying you.”
“You mean… this Jacarth guy can read minds?” I asked. “Like… like, I can?”
“Different.” Poko spat a red wad onto the ground and kicked sand over the top of it. “You read emotions. Your Fae blood gives you the gift of empathy, of sensing when something is wrong or right, and of taking control of minds, for a short time. His? His is no gift. Jacarth senses movement in the spirit world, senses the very movement of spirits themselves, because he has, for so long, been one of them.”
For a moment, we sat in silence, looking back and forth at each other.
“I see that’s not setting well with you. What I mean,” Poko continued, “is that he’s so very old, that he cannot be contained. He moves both bodily and spiritually. Lily…”
Poko turned to me, his white eyes burning my soul. Out of instinct, I grabbed for Damon’s hand.
Just feeling his skin against mine, made me feel safer and more secure. Even though I had no idea what I was afraid of, not really, just having him was a very, very good thing.
“When you travel, Lily, you are traveling.” Poko smiled as he spoke. “You are going to places you’ve never experienced, yes? Your spirit flies on the wings of dreams, on the sand that flits between worlds. Your wings are gained in this way, and you can go wherever you want.”
Habitually, I squeezed Damon’s hand again.
“Okay, but what does that have to do with Blight?”
Poko took a pair of stumbling steps forward.
“Everything,” he said. “Jacarth has been a part of this planet for longer than there have been people. He is one with it, one with the spirits, and the winds, upon which you fly. Are you beginning to understand?”
Slowly, I was.
“He senses me moving around? Like… if a bird flies past you, you can tell by the air moving, which direction it came from? Where it went?”
“I knew I liked this one, Damon. She’s brighter than you.” Poko took another step toward us. “Knowing his power, it isn’t impossible to imagine, that he’s sent someone to find me. After all, if he snuffs my life, then he has the power to gain it. He can twist and manipulate the world of spirits, and drink their power.”
I shook my head. Hunter and Damon were doing the same.
“How is that possible?” Damon whispered, under his breath.
“What the hell did I wander into?” Hunter said, laughing a little. “I’ve got some incredible timing.”
“You do,” Poko said. “They’re going to need your help. Desperately, they’re going to need it. Now, there’s one other thing. It is entirely possible that Jacarth – Joram – whatever you wish to call him – has tracked us.”
“But, how?” Damon asked. “No one followed us.”
“Damn,” Devin said, stumbling out of the cave.
He was burned, and badly, but most of his skin was, at least, intact.
“It’s bright as hell.” Devin said. “I was kinda wondering where everyone went.”
Poko arched an eyebrow. “Damon,” he said. “You trust so easily. But, it isn’t a concern. It’s better that we know something of his plans. And with his pawn here, your beautiful mate can do a little bit of… counter espionage.”
“What are you saying?” I asked, trying to process everything. “You want me to go in Devin’s head? And ferret out this big, ancient bad ass?”
“More or less,” Poko said, grinning in his quizzical way. “I can’t think of any way else to keep ourselves abreast of his movements. I’m afraid they’re coming soon, whoever it is he’s bringing with him, and we have to be ready. But, Lily,” he grabbed my hand.
His skin was thin and brittle, like paper, wrapped around bones.
“I will not lie to you.” His voice was urgent. “This will not be safe.”
I was starting to shake a little, again, for about the fifteenth time.
“How do you mean? What’s so different about this time than when I’ve done it before?”
“He doesn’t want you in there,” Poko said.
All three of them – Damon, Hunter and Poko – looked at me at the same time. When Damon and Poko were right next to each other, the resemblance was incredible. I mean, add about eight centuries to Damon’s face, of course, but they looked very, very similar.
“Is he going to look like you, someday?” I asked, distracting myself from the horror that gripped my stomach, and twisted it in a knot. “I’ve never noticed it, before, but…”
“Only if he’s lucky,” Poko said, with a dry laugh. “Lily, this is a terrible danger. There’s no telling what lurks in that head of his.”
“I am right here,” Devin said, scratching a place on the side of his face, where his skin was growing back and flaking.
Everyone fell silent as he stepped a little closer.
“You don’t have any right to come in here, and act all fucking cute, Devin.” Damon stepped right up in his face, jabbing his brother straight in the chest with two outstretched fingers.
“You tried to kill me once. Do you think I’m just going to forget that, because you decide to get jokey?”
I grabbed Damon’s arm, though, I wasn’t really sure why I was stopping him.
“Not only that,” Hunter cut in. “But what you did to Cat? How can you even look at yourself in the mirror? How can you stand to be in your own skin?”
The air was so tense that I thought it was going to snap back in my face the next time someone spoke. Thankfully, it was Poko’s soft voice that filled the air.
“It was my fault.” Poko said.
“Huh?” Damon, Hunter, Devin, and I, all whirled around at once.
“Your fault?” I asked. “How could what Devin did possibly be your…”
It hit me, right as I was starting to speak. He abandoned Devin. When Damon was picked to be the heir to the Skarachee, Devin was just kind of forgotten.
“She understands,” Poko said, with a sad smile. “Were it not true, we would have a less controversial tone. He was alone, Damon. He came into his own skin without any help, and for that… I am to blame.”
“But Poko, he—” Damon tried to speak, but Poko quieted him with a raised hand.
“You may be the alpha, Damon, but in this, trust me. When you’re a parent, you’ll understand.”
The glance that both Poko and Damon shot in my direction, made me shrink right up. Damon knew, of course, and Poko was Poko, but this was not the announcement party I wanted.
“So back to Devin,” I said, with all the grace of a hippo sliding across a sheet of ice.
Luckily, no one seemed to notice, or mind.
Visibly uncomfortable, Devin retreated slightly toward the cave’s entrance. To say I felt sorry for him isn’t exactly right. When I saw him curled up on the ground with all those burns and the cuts and all that, sure, I was sad that a person was hurt. But… feeling sorry for Devin? I wasn’t sure I had it in me.
It’s like that disconnection when someone you don’t know dies. You say how sorry you are. You say how you feel for whomever it is who lost their dad, or uncle, or sister. But really, you’re just sad because someone else is sad. And then, you get even more down because you think you’re not reacting the way you’re supposed to act, and… It just goes on and on.
Then, it struck me how tired Devin looked. Back in school, he was always distant, disaffected. He was always hot in the way that Johnny Depp with a cigarette dangling from his lips is hot. You can tell just by looking at him, that he’s bad news, but he has – or he had, anyway – a way of grinning, that made you forget all about how obviously no-good he was.
But, right then, staring at him, he was just… broken.
There were bags under his eyes. The patchy hair and burned skin too, but even aside from that, he wasn’t all there. He was just a million miles away.
“I’ll do it,” I said. “I know it’s dangerous, I know I could be hurt, but this… I don’t understa
nd what got us here. I don’t understand what happened to him, or didn’t happen to him.”
“Lily,” Damon said. “He’s… Why do you care?”
“Because,” I said sharply, “no one deserves to be hopeless and helpless. Look at him, Damon. Look!”
Before my eyes, Devin just shrank. He crouched against the face of the cave, and just started to shake and weep.
“Do you see him, Damon? That’s not the same person who tried to kill you. That’s not the person who did all those horrible things. He’s broken, Damon. Can’t you see that?”
Devin’s whole body shook with sobs.
“I don’t know,” Devin whimpered. “I didn’t know what I was doing. I never knew, I just… One minute, I was me, and the next minute, I was torn up, and it was a week later. Then there were truancy officers harassing my parents about me missing school. I always thought there was just something wrong with me, that I was…”
He fell silent, and kept right on sobbing. The scars on Devin’s face were all bright red, the patches where his hair used to be burned angrily. I walked over to him and crouched down.
Just like I thought, his skin almost hissed with fever.
“You’re burning up,” I said. “Is he sick, Poko?”
The old man shook his head.
“Healing,” he said. “As his bones correct, and his skin pushes back against the silver, he will suffer a great deal. Though, I think the worst may be over.”
“Well,” I said, frowning a little as Devin winced at my touch. “I don’t know what you expect me to do, but if you tell me, I’ll try it.”
“You’re sure about this, Lily?”
It was Damon pleading with me that time.
“We don’t need him. He’s a liar and a cheat, and I promise, that the second he can, he’ll do it all again. He’ll sell us out,” Damon said. “He’ll do it without a second thought.”
“There’s something in his eyes,” I whispered back. “There’s no such thing as pure, black-and-seething evil. Not really. Think about what Poko said, Damon. He had no guidance, no nothing. He was just kind of jettisoned out into the wild world with. What chance did he have? What would you have done if it weren’t for Poko and your parents helping you control your beast?”