by Dauphin, M
“Baby, you don’t need to do that-” That chair is my past. She’s my present. She’s my future. I don’t need things from my past anymore, now that I have her.
“Stop. I know how much you loved that chair. I think it would be nice to have something in our house that reminds you of the love you had when you were a boy. Let me do this for you.” I know she’s phrasing it as a question, but that’s the thing with my Red. She never really asks for permission, just does whatever the fuck she wants to do. Just one of the many reasons I fucking love her. She isn’t anything like any other girl I’ve ever met.
“Jesus, baby. I love you more than life itself, Re- SHIT!”
The phone goes flying as I try and gain control of my vehicle. I hear her screaming, but can’t get to her now. That mother fucking car came out of nowhere! OH FUCK! I can’t get control of the truck, and between break squeals and crunching noises, everything suddenly goes very black.
Jolting out of the chair, full of sweat, breathing like I just ran a motherfucking marathon, I frantically look around the room.
“NO.... OH SON OF A BITCH!”
I remember everything. Every fucking detail of that night and of the months leading up to that night.
My Red.
That’s why she doesn’t want me calling her that, because I used it as a term of endearment and not as a joke nickname. Oh my GOD, I’ve been so terrible to her!
Rushing through the house to find my phone, I’m shaking, waiting for it to turn back on.
Pings and notifications scream at me when it’s fully on, but I ignore them. With shaking hands and no voice, I call her just to be sent to voicemail immediately.
“Shit, shit, shit, FUCK!!” I yell to the empty house, frantically trying to figure out where she could be.
“MOLLY.... Molly, Tatum, Jesus... oh my God....”
Calling Tatum, he picks up on the first ring, pissed as fuck,
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, EDDIE?! GET YOUR FUCKING ASS TO THE MOTHERFUCKING HOSPITAL BEFORE I BEAT YOU SO BAD YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO WALK FOR MOTHERFUCKING WEEKS!” he screams at me, the maddest I’ve heard him since he lost Molly last year.
Son of a bitch, my head is swimming with memories.
Oh my god, the hospital.
Red.
No, God please, no. I haven’t even gotten her back yet!
I don’t have my truck and I’m still feeling the effects of the beers from earlier, so I call a cab and wait impatiently for it, screaming at them to take me to the hospital as soon as the door opens.
Dear God, please don’t take her from me.
Chapter 18
Eddie
By the time I get to the hospital, I’m shaking and pretty certain I could puke any minute. The entire drive here I was planning what I’m going to say to everyone. The amount of apologies I owe people are never ending. Just thinking about some of the fucking things I’ve said to her, and to Tatum and Molly, these last few months makes me sick.
Running into the hospital, I’m hit with deja vu. It’s the same hospital I spend four months in a coma in. The same hospital I spit evil, angry words at the woman I love. Finding the maternity floor, I rush to the elevator and cuss profanities at it for going too motherfucking slow.
The doors ding open and I rush out of the elevator, pushing people out of my way.
I need to get to her.
“Red!?” I yell like a crazy man. I don’t know where she is and the nurses on duty all ignored me when I got off the elevator.
“Sir, can we help you?” one finally answers me after she notices the crazed man standing in the hallway.
“Red, I need my Red. Is she okay? Is the baby ok? Oh shit, I need her!” I’m frantic. How the fuck could my brain have forgotten about her!
“’I’m not sure I follow.... Red?”
“Eddie, dude, chill the fuck out. Katie, he’s with us,” Tatum growls at me and pulls me into a waiting room.
“Fuck, Tatum! This isn’t the room I need to be going into right now!”
“You can’t exactly see her right now, dude,” he whispers, glaring at me.
I’ve never had Tatum Savage on my bad side before and I sure as hell don’t want to make him any angrier with me. I need to see her though. I need to tell her I love her.
I need to tell her I remember. I remember everything. I remember her and her crazy hair standing in front of my apartment door that morning, when she was so pissed at me. I remember how much I love her. I remember every fucking detail about her and our life so far together.
That’s when I notice Molly in the corner chair, crying to herself.
“Shit, Molly... fuck I’m so fucking sorry.” I rush over to her and hug her.
“Don’t talk to me, Eddie. Fuck you!” she screams and pushes me off of her, but I fight for the connection. I need something real. I need my fucking Red.
Son of a bitch, I’ve ruined everything.
“Calm down, both of you. Eddie, sit. Sit the fuck down and listen to what I’m about to tell you. I’m only going to say it once,” he’s growling so intensely the others in the waiting room get up and leave the minute he starts in on his speech.
“Tatum, I-”
“No, you don’t get a fucking chance to talk right now. I’m done with the shit, Eddie. That woman in there could die any fucking minute because you didn’t show her the mother fucking support she needed in the last few months. Your best friend, the woman you love, the woman that brought you out of your asshole self, is fighting for both her life and the life of your motherfucking child, because her body couldn’t take the stress of you hating her.”
“I don’t fucking hate her!” I scream at him, not caring who’s watching.
“You did a damn good job at making her think you did, asshole. My wife’s best friend and damn close friend of mine, someone I would come damn close to calling my own sister, is in danger right now because of your stupid ass.”
“Fuck you, Savage,” I growl.
And then he punches me.
“Tatum!” Molly screams, rushing to me. I hold her off and rub my face where his fist connected.
“Shit, man,” I grumble. “What the fuck was that for?!”
“You needed some motherfucking sense knocked into you. I pray she doesn’t remember you if and when she wakes up. Then at least she won’t hurt for the loss of the only thing she ever really loved.” He bitches, then leaves the room.
“What the hell is he talking about, Molly?”
I hear her sigh, then she sits back in her chair and curls her legs up to her chest.
“Eddie, Gwynn called while you were gone. I didn’t get much out of her before she passed out. All they can tell us is that she’s having an emergency c-section to get the baby out before her body rejects her completely.”
Get the baby out. Those words rip my heart in two. No, there’s still a month left, it’s too soon! And why would her body reject the baby?!
“Molly, I need more than that. When can I see her, where is she? Was she conscious when you found her? Is she going to live?! Why isn’t anyone updating us?!”
I’m pacing the waiting room floor and Molly has started silently crying again.
“Jesus, I’ve been such a fucking tool.”
“You are, Eddie. One giant asshole.” She sniffs.
Man, they really aren’t giving me anything today.
“I fucking remember, Mol. I remember it all. Every single detail of her, and I need to tell her. I need her. I need her to know how fucking sorry I am.”
“Oh, Eddie,” she gasps. “You really do remember? You aren’t just saying that?”
“Fuck no! I can’t stop the assault of memories even standing here right now! And now the thought that I might be too late is killing me on the inside!”
I hear someone clear their throat and I turn to see Tatum in the doorway.
“You for real, man? You remember her?”
“SHIT YES I DO! SHE’S MY RED! Why don’t you guys
believe me!?”
“You’ve been the biggest cunt-bag we’ve ever met the last few months. It’s just taking us a moment to realize it’s really you and not asshole Eddie standing in front of us.” Molly smiles at me, standing to hug me.
“Shit, dude. Sorry for punching you....” Tatum is rubbing the back of his neck, looking at the floor.
“I deserve much worse than that, man.” Forgiving him, I sit in the chair and anxiously wait to hear from the doctor.
An entire hour passes of us sitting in silence before another body graces the doorway. Looking up, expecting to see the doctor, the breath is knocked out of me when I see my sister standing there, looking at me like I’m a ghost.
“Sarah?” I whisper, and stand to move to her.
She’s in my arms before I know what I’m doing and I’m crying into her as she hugs me like her life depends on it. I can’t fucking believe this. What the hell is she doing here?
“Eddie, where’s Gwynn?” she says into my shirt, sniffling from her tears.
“How? What is going on?” I ask, pulling back from her.
She looks devastated. Like someone just told her that her sister-in-law was about to die. Kind of like how I’m sure I look right now.
“Come on, let’s grab some coffee down the hall and I’ll tell you all about it. This week has been absolutely nuts, Eddie.”
My God, my sister is back. She’s fucking here!
I’m not sure I can take much more up and down on this emotional roller coaster today. Following her out of the waiting room, I make Tatum promise to get me the second he sees the doctor working on Red. Nodding his head, I salute him, then follow my older sister to the coffee shop, still in a daze as to what’s going on.
How the hell is she here right now?
Then I remember the last few days. Red just left and didn’t tell anyone where she went. My sister mysteriously knows her. This has to be Red’s doing.
Chapter 19
Gwynn
“....and then, there was the time when your mom dutch-ovened me in her sleep. I’d never tell her, but I almost puked. It was the worst thing ever. Well, at the time I thought it was. Now I know it was nothing compared to the thought of losing you two.”
His voice is the softest I’ve ever heard it and I try my hardest not to giggle at him, but I don’t last. The more he talks, the more I hear the love in his voice, the happier I become.
He’s back. My Eddie’s back.
“Hey, looks like mommy’s awake,” he says with quiet enthusiasm.
“Mmm.... I’m alive,” I grumble through the drugs and pain taking over my body.
Opening my eyes, I see him walk over to us, holding our baby girl, and I don’t even bother holding the tears back.
“Hey you,” he says to me and I laugh through my tears. Tears of joy, this time. No more sadness tears. Not where Eddie is concerned.
“Hi,” I whisper.
“You gave me a pretty good scare there, Red.” He smiles, slowly bouncing from left to right to soothe our girl.
“Good,” I smile and close my eyes. I’m so tired. “You deserved more than that, but I’m a fighter even when I’m unconscious apparently.”
“Hell yes you are.” His lips come in contact with mine and I grumble and turn my head.
“No.... Ew, stop that. My mouth tastes nasty... so ew.”
“Never stopping, baby. I wasted the last nine months not being here with you. Then I thought I lost you for good. You could be covered in shit and I’m still going to kiss you.”
“Well that’s good, I hear babies poop a ton.” I smile, and force my eyes open again to look at him.
The face he’s making cracks me up, which makes my stomach muscles singe with pain. Jesus, they did a number on me.
“Oh, God you aren’t joking! You missed the first shit. Black fucking tar! I couldn’t get it off of her!” He’s cracking up, trying to be as quiet as he can so he doesn’t wake the sleeping baby in his arms, and I can’t help but smile at him.
We talk for what seems like hours. Eddie is full of concern and love. And remorse. He told me of how he finally remembered everything. He told me about his sister and how she’s waiting in the family waiting area to see me. I’m happy she flew in to see him and I’m thrilled he isn’t mad at me for finding her. They have a lot of past to make up, but he seems genuinely happy that she’s here.
I filled him in that it was Jase that ran him off the road, that Jase set the fire, and that we’ve been looking for him for months but can’t find him. He nods in silence the whole time, but I see the storm brewing inside him. He hates Jase with a passion. I feel bad for the man if Eddie ever finds him.
I’m so thrilled he’s back with me. My Eddie. He’s finally back. The meds they gave me are really kicking my butt and I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.
“I’m so tired, Eddie,” I whisper, reaching out to touch him.
“Sleep, Red. I’m not going anywhere.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. “I love you, baby.”
***
Opening my eyes, the room is dark, save for the lights coming from the hallway. Looking around, I see my mom sitting in the chair, sleeping. I smile, thinking of her as a grandma. She was so excited when I told her, so thrilled to finally have a baby to spoil. I haven’t kept in touch with her near as much as I should have, and I kind of feel guilty, but she’s here now.
“Hey, she’s awake,” I hear the nurse’s voice that sounds so familiar.
“Hey, Eric.” I smile, looking to the doorway to see him standing there with the monitor cart behind him.
“How ya feelin’?” he asks as he takes my temperature, blood pressure, and all the other shit they have to check too many times a day.
“I’m ready to get out of here and take that tiny baby home, so start spoiling her to pieces,” I answer truthfully.
I’ve been here for three days now, and by this time, a normal mom would have already been allowed to go home with their tiny bundle of joy, but with everything that I went through, they want to monitor me a bit longer to make certain I’m healthy enough to go home.
Apparently I was under so much stress that I had been having contractions before I even knew it. That’s what the pain was, according to the doctors. The pain that I’d been having for a few weeks before she was born. When the final contraction hit, it must have been such a big one my body thought it was in full labor, and everything got all kinds of fucked up. I can’t say enough good things about the doctors at this hospital, though. Without them, my baby girl wouldn’t be here right now, and I might not either. Molly said I started bleeding on the way to the hospital, and I bled out so much they couldn’t get me to regain consciousness. When Tatum carried me inside, she said he was white as a ghost.
I can’t imagine what they went through, worrying about me and the baby. I feel terrible for it, but there’s really nothing I could have done. My body decided it was time to get the baby out and that’s just what happened.
Angel was a few weeks premature, but it was time. Thank God she’s a healthy baby. Even three weeks early, she was still born at seven pounds. A healthy head of pitch black hair like her father, and already has our hazel eyes. She’s the spitting image of her father, as far as girls can look like their dads. She’s gonna be a fucking heartbreaker, a badass heartbreaker.
Laughing to myself at the thought of a tiny me running around, beating the shit out of anything that gets in her way, I can’t get over the fact that we are actually finally going to get our happily ever after.
“Hey, Gwynn, how you doing?” my mom asks as she sits up in the chair, looking around for a clock.
“I’m tired of people asking me that. I just want to go home,” I say, almost feeling bad for being a bitch.
“Well, I hear they may be letting you go this afternoon.” She smiles and walks over to the bassinet where Angel is sleeping.
“Where’s Eddie, mom?”
“Oh, I think he headed back to your hou
se to get cleaned up. He should be back in just a little bit.” She smiles down at her granddaughter, then picks her up and carries her over to me.
“She looks like Eddie, you know,” my mom says to me, unable to stop smiling
“Thanks. I thought you’re supposed to say she looks like me?” I laugh at her. She’s such a cute grandma.
“Yea, that’s what they say, but it’s really hard to deny that this little girl belongs to him. I’m surprised she didn’t come out with tattoos, the way the two of you seem to have every one known to man.”
I shake my head at her. I’m sure the meeting between Eddie and my mom was awkward as hell and I’m glad I wasn’t awake for it. She despises my tattoos, so I can only imagine her reaction to seeing him.
“Can I hold her?” I ask. I find it funny that I have to ask permission to hold my baby, but these people are so selfish, wanting all the baby snuggles to themselves.
“Fine. But you got her for the first nine months and now it’s grandma’s time to spoil her, so not for too long, then I want her back.”
I laugh at my mom and take Angel in my arms. Angela Marie Roe. We gave her Eddie’s grandma’s middle name and Eddie’s last name since we will be getting married as soon as I’m able.
“I called your brother,” my mom says as I stare at the most perfect looking baby ever.
“Yea? How pissed was he?” I ask, knowing I probably made him feel like total shit for not talking to him more.
“Oh, you know. I got an earful. He’ll be here next week to give you a verbal lashing, but I’m certain once he sees this tiny bundle of joy he’ll forget ever being upset with you.”
I smile and nod, fighting back the tears of joy I seem to get every time I look at this baby.
I love Eddie with all of my heart, but the love I hold for this baby is more than I ever thought humanly possible, and every time I look at her it grows more and more.
Chapter 20
Eddie
“You sure you wanna do this, dude? I told you I can take care of him.” Tatum has been trying to warn me off of beating the shit out of Jase ever since he found him hiding out at a relative’s house in Houston. Unfortunately for Jase, I don’t sway that easily from things I’m passionate about.