I nodded my head and she walked over.
“It’s like that, Keirah?” Ken opened his arms, as I tried to pull out of the spot after Kell climbed in.
“Yeah,” I laughed as I drove off.
“So, that used to be your man?” she pried.
“Why you say that?” I asked, faking confusion.
“Cause that’s what Woo just told me.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I know all about Ken. He used to fuck with this bitch named Mary in Haverstock. She was fighting all kinds of bitches over him.”
“I guess,” I sighed.
“But shit, can you blame her? That nigga got that paper and I heard that he ain’t selfish with it, either. I guess that’s why she’s been fucking with him since she was supposedly fifteen.”
I had to laugh. A year ago, hearing that shit would have hurt like hell. I knew all about Mary, and I don’t know how she could’ve been with him since she was fifteen, when he was my boyfriend ever since ‘96 all the way until almost two years ago. Me and Mary were the same age, so that said it all. She might have fucked with him, but he was mine during that time and could still be mine if I wanted that constant headache.
“The next time you see Mary you make sure to tell her to stop lying. And don’t let the smooth taste fool you…Ken ain’t shit, trust.”
We spent way more time in that parking lot than I expected, so I decided to skip the afterhours spot and went straight home. I was expecting to climb into bed with my man until he rolled over and fucked me senseless, but once I saw the look on his face I knew that my plans were derailed.
“You know what time it is?” Ted clenched his teeth.
I glanced down at my cell phone. “Ten minutes to four.”
“Ten minutes to four, huh? Don’t the club close at two?”
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“So, why is it that you’re just now getting here?” He looked over at Kell. “You put her up to this shit, huh?” he accused.
“What? Nigga, you tripping,” Kell snapped.
“Bitch, I ain’t stupid. You trying to get my gal to be like your hoe ass,” he lashed. I had never heard Ted speak that way to a woman.
“Bitch? So, now I’m a bitch, Ted?” Kell asked, getting misty eyed.
“Ted, you wrong for calling that girl out of her name. I’m a grown ass woman and can’t nobody make me do shit. I got my own mind.”
“So, you wasn’t driving this hoe around, while she fucked with different niggas?”
“We went clubbing and then swung by the afterhours,” I gave him half of the truth.
“The afterhours? What type of shit is that? A woman with a nigga at home ain’t got no damn business going to a damn after-hour spot. I was barely cool with your ass going out and you pull this shit?! Yeah, now I see how shit is with you. That’s why niggas put their hands on you. You like testing boundaries. A nigga give you an inch, and you take a mile.”
“You got me fucked up! I don’t give a damn about what I do! You or no other nigga have the right to put your hands on me. And the next nigga that think that he want to test me will be going to meet his maker!” I seethed. I was on fire.
Ted put his hands in praying position and took a pause. “I didn’t mean it like that, baby. When you are in relationship, you have to carry yourself a certain way. You have to do things a certain way. You have to have better judgment than the next woman. If you with a single girl, you should know that you have to live by a different set of rules from her.”
I hate to admit when I wrong. I really hate it. “Well, Ted…I didn’t mean to piss you off. I lost track of time,” I claimed. That was the closest I could get to apologizing.
“Yeah, okay,” he snorted. He turned and gave Kell the evil eye and went upstairs to our bedroom.
Chapter 13
Keirah
Weeks had turned into months and Kell was still staying with us. She now had a job at a motel and paid me rent. She wasn’t hard to live with, so that was one of the reasons why I kept her around. She was a very clean person, so my place stayed tidy.
Ted still hadn’t found a job yet, and it was getting on my damn nerves. I didn’t like the feeling of being used, and I’d be damned if I was going to let another man do it again. I had a job that I could retire from if I wanted, and my man was sitting his ass at home while I worked my ass off; literally. That wasn’t going to work.
My attitude had changed a bit since Ted had stopped working. Even Chantez hustled to make ends meet. True, it was with my help, but I believe in helping those who help themselves. Ted hadn’t really shown any signs of really looking for work, so I guess that’s why I went off when he asked me for a couple of dollars.
“Baby, you got forty dollars?” he asked me one morning while I was getting ready for work.
“What did you say?” I asked him, hoping that I’d heard him incorrectly.
“Do you have forty dollars?” he repeated.
Was he serious? “Why do you need forty dollars, Ted?”
“Shit, just to have some change in my pockets.”
“Some change, huh? Why don’t you ever go down to the labor pool if you need a little change?”
“Are you fuckin for real? Keirah, you’re bringing home $2,300 every paycheck and I don’t ever ask you for shit! Now, the one time that I ask you for something, it’s a fucking problem?!”
“Why are you keeping up with my money, huh? It’s my money! I work for it! And I ain’t about to take care of a grown ass nigga!” I lashed.
“So, that’s how you feel, huh? Now we getting to the real you. What happened to couples being down for each other?”
“Down?” I repeated in disbelief. “Nigga, you want to talk about being down. The fact that your broke ass is still staying here speaks volumes! You eat for free. You take a bath for free. You get your clothes washed for free. You use my fuckin electricity for free. I’m doing enough as is!” I fumed.
“So, I’m a burden to you? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Hey, call it what you want. I just stated the facts,” I shrugged.
“No, don’t give me that smart mouth bullshit! DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE?”
“That’s on you,” I said as I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.
* * * * *
By the time I made it home from work, the condo was spic and span and Ted was sitting on the couch, waiting for me while listening to Boyz II Men, “Bended Knee.” He had his head down, looking pitiful.
“Baby, we need to talk,” he mumbled, as he looked up at me. His eyes were bloodshot red and he reeked of alcohol.
“Are you drunk?” I held my nose.
He nodded his head. “Yeah, I’m drunk,” he slurred. “It’s you. You driving a nigga insane.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you,” he spoke as he tried to stand. He staggered right back onto the couch. “Why won’t you love me, Pretty Girl?”
“I do love you.”
“No, you don’t. Not like I want you to. I want your unconditional love. No matter the situation or the circumstances. It’s like you have up this wall and I’m trying to break through, but it’s becoming harder and harder. You just won’t let yourself love me right.”
“Ted, you tripping,” I waved him off.
“You can’t even admit it, huh? How did we get here when everything was so perfect?” he asked with pleading eyes.
“I don’t know,” I shook my head. I didn’t like talking about my feelings or my fears. “You just have to forgive me sometimes. Being hard is just my defense mechanism.”
“Don’t do me like that baby, please.”
“I’ll try, but every day is work in progress,” I told him, but I really didn’t know what I was feeling. Or if I even felt anything for him.
* * * * *
Weeks had gone by since our little altercation and things had turned around for me and Ted. He’d been having his own money lately. I figured that he was doing a little hustling
although he didn’t spend much time away from the house. He was doing something, because I hadn’t given him a penny. He even surprised me by taking me out the other night and treating me to an extravagant meal. I knew that he had something going on, but I wasn’t really concerned just as long as he had his own and could contribute to my household.
Things in general were looking great for me. I’d traded my Toyota in as a down payment on a brand new black 535 BMW. My shit was so clean; especially after I threw on those black twenty-inch rims. That $700 car note was nothing if I could stunt around the city in a car that I’d always dreamed of.
After a long day at work, I loved climbing into my luxury automobile. I was always going into another zone and that was how I almost missed spotting Kell hopping in the truck with a man old enough to be her grandpa. I was pulling into the Shell gas station right around the corner from the crib, she didn’t even notice me as they drove away. I didn’t think much of it because I kind of figured that she had a sugar daddy hid somewhere. What did catch my attention was when she came home and made up this huge lie about how she’d just gotten off after working a ten-hour shift. Usually, I’d confront a person on the spot when I’d catch them in a lie, but something in my gut told me to keep quiet, until the time was right.
Outside of Kell’s occupation, or make believe job, everything was still cool so I didn’t trip. My household was running like a well-oiled machine. My man was back to fucking me each and every night and making me smile every morning.
Kell was opening up to me about her life. She even cried on my shoulder one night after telling me about her mama’s boyfriend raping her. I could feel her body trembling as she poured her heart out to me. That was when I allowed her to break down a piece of my wall. She was becoming my friend.
The only thing that would throw me off was when Ted would go off on her. On a few occasions they’d gotten into it, while I was at work and by the time I’d come home he’d be trying to convince me to put her out on the streets. After getting to know her, I wasn’t going to do that just because of their petty arguments. Besides, a day later they’d be back chummy. They really did act like sister and brother.
Everything took a turn for the worse when I got off of work a few hours early because of flooding. Even with the bad weather, I had to stop at a store. I had a nagging question in my head and I had to have an answer that day. I was tired of wondering, so I ran into the grocery store to grab what I needed and ran into my next door neighbor. She was an older black lady that was retired.
“How are you doing, Mrs. Brown?” I asked her as we both stood in the checkout line.
“I’m doing fine, baby,” she smiled. “Haven’t seen you around lately. You been working?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I smiled.
“Oh, okay. Is that your sister that’s staying with you now?” she asked, being nosy.
“Not really. She’s a friend.”
“Oh. Well, that gal is a wild one, huh?”
“Ma’am?” I asked her confused.
“Yeah, baby…I ain’t trying to cause no trouble, but I thought that I should say something. Our condominiums are usually quiet so when somebody comes with something extra, it’s noticeable.”
“What are you saying?” I asked her.
“Well, that little gal at your place has a lot of traffic coming and going from your place. I see her with three to four men a day. If she even bothers to leave with them, she is never gone for more than an hour. I been noticed it, but it didn’t really become a concern until I saw a few of the neighbors creeping out of there a time or two. And it would be one thing if this was going on while you were there, then I’d assume that all was well, but I don’t see none of this unless you’re long gone.”
Mrs. Brown’s words were sending a chill down my spine. Was Kell selling pussy out of my house? And worse of all, where was Ted when all of this was taking place?
“Oh really?” I asked, feeling like the walls were closing in on me.
“Yeah, baby. And let me give you a word of advice…never have another grown woman living in your house when you have a man there. It just don’t mix,” she offered, as she shook her head.
I drove home in a daze. I parked my car in the garage and just sat there for a few minutes. I didn’t know what to make of things. I didn’t know what I was going to say to either of them. After a few minutes, I got out of my car. I unlocked the door that led into the condo and slowly stepped inside. I was expecting to see my crib spotless as it usually was. Instead, my shit was a mess. Kell’s weave ponytails were just sitting on my glass tables. There was something that looked like cocaine sitting on my table too. Somebody had lined the powder up and had left the dollar bill that they’d used to snort behind. I walked into the kitchen and there were dishes in the sink.
I thought about it. I was home three hours early and they must have been waiting until the last minute to clean up. I knew that Ted was home because his car was in the garage, so I walked up the stairs to cuss his ass smooth the fuck out. When I made it to the top of the stairs, I noticed that my bedroom door was cracked and I could clearly hear my bed squeaking even though I was nowhere near it. I thought that it only made that sound when I was around.
My heartrate sped up as I pushed the door open. I couldn’t believe my fuckin eyes! Kell was hopping her naked ass up and down on my man’s dick while he laid in my bed.
They were so into it that they hadn’t noticed me.
“Oh, I love you,” she gritted. “Can she fuck you like this, daddy? Can she make you feel like this?”
“Ohhh,” he moaned as he bit his lips.
“You dirty motherfuckas!” I shouted.
They both jumped at the sound of my voice.
“What the fuck?!” Kell shouted as she leaped off of Ted.
“Oh shit! Baby, let me explain!” he pleaded as he hopped out of bed. He was stark naked with the exception of the condom dangling from his dick.
“Explain what nigga?!” I screamed as I attacked him. I threw punches left and right until I felt some hands grabbing me.
“Keirah, chill out,” Kell had the audacity to say to me as she pulled me away from Ted.
“Bitch, get your hands off of me!” I roared as I slapped the hell out of her.
Like a coward, that skinny bitch fell to the floor and I kicked her in the stomach. “Bitch, you must think that I’m soft, huh? You right, I fronted for you bitch! You don’t know me!” I yelled as I continued to kick her anywhere my foot landed.
“Keirah, stop it, baby,” Ted pleaded, as he pulled me away from her. “I can explain!”
“Explain what? Huh, you sorry ass nigga?” I asked as I attempted to slap him. He caught my hand mid-swing.
“I needed the money, baby. It was all about money. She was giving the pussy away anyway, so I said, let’s get paid. I promise that I wasn’t fucking her the entire time. This shit just happened. She know that I ain’t fucking with her like that.”
“Fuck you!” I cried as I swung wildly. “Get the fuck out of my house right now. Grab all of your shit right now because you cannot come back!”
“Pretty Girl, we can work this out,” he begged as he tried to hug me.
I pushed him away. “This is what I think of you,” I gritted right before I spat in his face. “Now get your bitch ass out!”
I sat and watched as Ted and Kell packed all of their belongings into his car. I was so pissed. I wanted to kill the both of them for playing me. I felt like the biggest dummy on the planet.
* * * * *
It had been days since I’d put Ted and Kell out, and I had just brought myself to do it. There I was sitting on the toilet not wanting to believe my eyes. The stick read, Pregnant. Yeah, that nigga had really gotten me.
A couple of years ago I promised myself that I wouldn’t get anymore abortions. God was going to punish me. I killed my first two babies for the sake of me and Ken’s relationship. And seeing how we ended up, I now know that it was all in vain.
I kept telling myself that the next time I fucked up, I was going have to suffer through the consequences. Really, I was thinking that I’m grown now and that anytime I’d get pregnant it would be wanted since I would be in a relationship. I never saw this coming.
I hated the mere thought of Ted’s child growing inside of me. There was no part of me that wanted that baby living inside of my wound, and I would never want my hate for him to trickle down to the baby. So, after thinking long and hard, I decided to get rid of it. This was going to be the last time, for real. Sorry God.
Chapter 14
Killah
I was pissed off when I heard someone ring my doorbell. I had been out of town for three days and hadn’t slept for more than three hours. I was beat, so even though it was just ten o’clock at night, I was in bed. Not too many people knew where I lived, so I knew that the person at the door could only be one of three people.
I drug myself out of bed and headed for the door. The visitor was an impatient motherfucka and rung the bell about five more times before I got to the door. I glanced at the monitor right near my door and saw that it was Ted.
I snatched the door open. “What the fuck are you doing here, nigga?”
“I fucked up, man,” he groaned, as he invited himself in.
“You can come in,” I replied sarcastically as I slammed my door shut and locked it.
“Fuck you, nigga,” he grumbled, as he crashed on to my all-white couch.
“What just happened?” I asked, taking a seat on my ottoman and realizing that something serious must have happened.
“Pretty Girl caught me fucking a bitch in our bed,” he blurted.
“What?! Nigga, you lying?”
“No, for real.”
“Your ass is crazy. So, who was the bitch?”
“Man, this bitch that I met on the chat line a few months ago.”
“A few months ago?” I asked confused. “You ain’t been with this broad that long, so you knew the broad that you was creeping with first?”
“Nah,” he sighed. “I met her after I got fired.”
“You got fired?” I asked, confused. I knew that I’d been busy, but damn.
Can I Talk to You (G Street Chronicles Presents) Page 11