Beyond Grace's Rainbow: HarperImpulse Contemporary Romance

by Carmel Harrington

  Finally her tears subsided. ‘Now do you understand?’ Catherine begged.

  ‘I’m beginning to,’ Liam said humbly.

  ‘He destroyed my life, Liam. I trusted him implicitly, and then one day he tore that trust away and violated me in the worst possible way. I was a virgin. He took that from me, and then told me that it was my entire fault. He said I had tempted him, that I was sent by the Devil to tempt him. He told me that if I ever told anyone he’d deny it and paint me as a whore. I believed him.’

  ‘Was there no one you could have spoken to?’ Liam asked gently. ‘Your cousin Ann? Your friend Mrs Murtagh?’

  ‘You’re talking about Ireland in 1980, Liam. Back then the Church was absolute. There were none of these sex scandals that you have today. Not openly talked about anyhow. To accuse a priest of something like that would have been tantamount to suicide. I tried to tell Ann once. But I couldn’t find the words.’

  ‘I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you. Did it ever happen again?’ Liam asked.

  ‘No, I stopped doing the flowers for the church immediately and as you can imagine any thoughts of joining a convent vanished. I felt that God had forsaken me,’ Catherine said.

  ‘What happened when you found out you were pregnant?’ Liam asked gently.

  ‘I went to see him. He always acted like nothing had happened if I met him in the street. But when I told him I was pregnant his calm facade disappeared. He accused me of being a whore, sleeping with customers at the hotel. He denied being the father. But he knew. He knew that when I told him I’d never had sex with anyone before or after him, that I was speaking the truth,’ Catherine replied, anger creeping into her voice with every word.

  ‘Is that when he suggested an abortion?’ Liam asked.

  ‘Yes. He said there were places in the U.K. that could help me. He never actually used the word abortion – he was too clever for that – he just delicately suggested that “relieving myself” of the problem would be the best all round.’

  ‘Bastard,’ Liam said. He wanted to punch something.

  ‘Yes that he was,’ Catherine said sadly. ‘The thing that killed me most was my own father’s reaction. Telling my parents that I was pregnant was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, with the exception of giving up Grace. They took it really badly. My father just got up and walked into the living room, closing the door, and didn’t reappear for a couple of hours. When he did, he demanded to know who the father was. When I couldn’t say, he went mental, breaking up the room, throwing delph and ornaments. My mother and I had to run next door to Mrs Doyle’s.’

  Liam hadn’t thought about what it was like for Catherine to tell her parents. He made a promise to himself that no matter what Jack did in the future, he’d always be on his side.

  ‘Do you know what the irony was? It was Fr O’Hara that my mother called for help to calm Dad down. He came in wearing his cassock with the Bible in his hand. He had the audacity to walk over to me, put his hand on my head and say “May God forgive you”, before walking into the living room to talk to Dad. He convinced Dad that the Devil had been at work and that I must be punished for my sins.’

  ‘How could you keep quiet? Surely you felt like telling them the truth?’ Liam said.

  ‘You’d think, wouldn’t you? I’m not proud of how weak I was Liam. But I was scared. I didn’t think anyone would believe me. In fact it may have been worse if they believed me. I think if my Dad had known the truth it may have just killed him.’ Catherine walked into the kitchen and put the kettle on. Liam followed her. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sure you could use a coffee.’ She smiled weakly.

  Liam watched her as she began laying a tray. He wasn’t sure he even wanted a coffee but was glad of the distraction for a few moments. He needed to straighten his head.

  When they were back in the living room, sipping their drinks, he asked, ‘What do you want to do now Catherine?’

  ‘About Grace?’ Catherine asked.

  Liam nodded.

  ‘I don’t know, Liam. Do you think that she would want to know that she was born as the result of a rape? Do you think that she could cope with that?’ Catherine asked in a small voice.

  Liam didn’t have an answer for that, so kept quiet.

  ‘That’s why I didn’t want to meet her before,’ Catherine said quietly. ‘I was so afraid that when I’d see her, all I’d remember was the horror of the rape. I was terrified that I couldn’t love her.’

  Liam felt tears sting his eyes as he watched this woman, who he’d grown to love as a mother-in-law, in so much pain.

  ‘I lost so many years because of that, Liam,’ Catherine said, silently weeping.

  ‘How do you feel when you see Grace now?’ Liam asked.

  ‘Full of love. I thank God every day for bringing her back into my life, giving me a second chance to get to know my child,’ Catherine answered passionately.

  ‘Catherine, it’s your decision. I’m sorry for not trusting you before. I hope you can forgive us for our deceit, but we did it out of love for Grace,’ Liam stated.

  ‘Don’t be silly. You’ve nothing to be sorry for Liam. None of you have. I can understand why Grace needed to know. But I need to think about this for a while. Can you keep it to yourselves for a few days? You were right earlier; if Grace is to find out, it needs to be me who tells her.’

  Liam agreed. After a few more minutes he felt it was time to go. He had a feeling that Catherine needed to be alone for a while. She looked punch-drunk and he was so sorry that he had caused her this distress. Kissing him absently on his cheek, she promised she would call in a couple of days.

  Chapter Thirty

  Tom had never seen such a mixture of anger and sorrow on Liam’s face ever before. He jumped in the car thumping the dashboard.

  ‘I need a fucking drink, man,’ Liam said with a look that Tom had never seen before.

  ‘I take it things didn’t go well so?’ Tom asked dryly.

  ‘You have no fucking idea.’ Liam looked at his friend and said, ‘He fucking raped her, man. He only fucking raped her.’

  ‘Ah Jaysus, no. Fr O’Hara? Tom asked.

  ‘Yes, the one and only. I’ve never wanted a drink as bad as I do right now, Tom,’ Liam said, putting his face in his hands.

  Tom started the car. He had been for a scout about earlier on and there was a forest a couple of miles away. Tom figured this would be a good place to go so that Liam could let some steam off. As he drove there, Liam kept cursing and hitting the dashboard, not making much sense. When they arrived at the local beauty spot, Tom was relieved that it was pretty much empty.

  ‘Come on mate. Let’s go for a walk. Try and burn off some of that anger of yours,’ Tom said.

  Liam jumped out of the car and walked furiously on to the forest trail, with Tom panting and puffing behind him. After about ten minutes of this fast pace, Tom finally bent down, exhausted.

  ‘Ah Jaysus, Liam. Hold on there a minute. I’m about to die here.’

  Liam turned around and took one look at his best mate’s red face, the sweat pouring down it, and started to laugh. ‘Oh God I’m sorry Tom. I was just so pent-up.’

  ‘It’s all right. But can we take a pew for a few minutes?’ Tom lowered himself on to the bench that was at the side of the trail. Liam came back and sat beside him.

  ‘That was awful man. She’s in bits back there,’ Liam said.

  ‘What happened?’ Tom asked.

  Liam relayed their conversation to Tom, leaving nothing out.

  ‘The poor woman. No wonder she’s never gone back to Ballymichael. Do you think she’ll tell Grace?’ Tom said.

  ‘Yes I think she will. She just needs a couple of days to adjust to the situation. I’m all over the place about it myself. I can’t bear to think how it will affect Grace.’

  ‘If she decides to keep it secret, will you tell Grace?’ Tom asked.

  ‘I don’t know. I don’t fucking know, Tom. What would you do?’

&nbs
p; ‘No idea, Liam. I agree with you that Grace has a right to know. But this could really mess her head up. With everything she’s been through already maybe we should just keep it to ourselves,’ Tom said.

  ‘How the hell did things get so complicated?’ Liam asked his friend sorrowfully.

  Tom didn’t know and threw his arm loosely around Liam’s shoulder. It must have been hell for him in there confronting Catherine. Selfishly, he was glad he hadn’t been in the room.

  ‘You’re not going to go run to the nearest pub are you?’ Tom asked with concern.

  Liam grinned wryly, ‘Nah. Don’t worry. It was tough in there, but you know what, if I can watch Grace go through cancer and do it without a jar, I can pretty much cope with anything. It’s a reflex for me; put me in a stressful situation and I’ll automatically want a drink. I’m all right now. Still, think I might go to a meeting later tonight.’

  Tom was once again stunned by how mature Liam had become. He was so proud of him. ‘Come on mate. Let’s get going. But this time promise me no marathons, okay? Let’s try a nice gentle stroll, take the time to smell the coffee!’ Tom declared.

  ****

  They arrived back to Dublin by late afternoon and Liam collected his car from outside Tom’s.

  ‘I’m going to head off, man. I want to go see Grace and give her a hug,’ Liam said.

  ‘You go do that mate,’ Tom replied.

  ‘Thanks, Tom. I owe you,’ Liam said seriously.

  ‘You owe nothing. Now go give Grace a kiss for me,’ Tom replied.

  Liam drove home quickly, stopping at a florist on the way to pick up a bunch of roses for Grace and a Spider-Man toy for Jack. Walking into the living room he found Grace lying fast asleep on their leather couch, a bridal magazine on her lap. She was beginning to look like her old self and had put on some weight. It suited her. Liam felt his breath catch in his mouth. It surprised him sometimes the depth of his feelings for this woman. Kneeling down beside her, he caressed her cheek. She opened her eyes sleepily, looking a little dazed, and then catching sight of Liam, she threw her arms around his neck, whispering his name softly. He put the flowers on the floor and started to kiss Grace softly, then more urgently as their passion grew. He lifted her sweater over her shoulders and kissed her neck softly. Grace began to undo the buttons on his shirt and they started to make love quickly and passionately on the couch.

  ‘I love you, Grace Devlin,’ Liam whispered in her ear, as she moaned softly when he entered her.

  ‘I love you too darling,’ Grace whispered back. They climaxed together and lay quietly for a few moments in each other’s arms. Turning to face Liam, Grace said mischievously, ‘Can you wake me up like that every afternoon I take a nap?’

  ‘That can be arranged, babe. You’ll be sorry you said that!’ Liam said with an exaggerated leer.

  ‘Did you have a good day, honey?’ Grace asked him as she slowly played with his hair.

  ‘Could have been better, but I’m feeling a whole lot happier now, babe. What about you?’ Liam felt his conscience prick him as he averted telling Grace the truth.

  ‘I had a great day thank you. Catherine rang about an hour ago,’ Grace replied.

  ‘Oh?’ Liam said with a start. ‘What did she want?’

  ‘Just to say that she loved me. Wasn’t that nice?’ Grace said smiling.

  ‘Yes it was, babe. She’s a nice woman,’ Liam said sincerely.

  ‘Mmm. And I managed to get a new contract too. Mrs Williams has asked me to do her baby’s nursery. I did her living room about a year ago,’ Grace continued.

  ‘That’s great, babe. I knew you’d start getting calls again,’ Liam said.

  ‘Abby called around this morning too. Oh Liam she’s so happy. She’s met this new guy called Shay and they’re inseparable. I’ve never seen her happier.’

  ‘That’s cool. I could never understand why Abby wasn’t snapped up ages ago. What’s this guy like?’ Liam said.

  ‘He’s the architect guy – remember from the speed dating?’ Grace said.

  Liam thought for a moment, then said, ‘No, doesn’t ring a bell.’

  ‘God you men are terrible! Sean was the same. He couldn’t remember him either!’ Grace said giggling.

  ‘Sure we never met him, why would we remember him?’ Liam asked puzzled.

  ‘Well you’ll get the chance this weekend. We’re all going out on Saturday night. Abby wants everyone to go for dinner. I’ve asked your Mam and she said she’ll have Jack for a sleepover,’ Grace told him.

  ‘Fantastic. So we’ll have the house to ourselves! Maybe we’ll skip dinner and stay at home!’ Liam said, grabbing Grace.

  ‘Down boy!’ she said half-jokingly. She knew what he meant though. While she was ill she couldn’t face having sex, but now that she was in remission she was feeling great and they were trying to take advantage of every spare moment. Problem was a certain three-year-old boy who had a habit of walking into their room during the night for a cuddle! He had almost caught them having sex a few weeks ago and frightened the life out of them. But neither of them was complaining. Things had never been so good between them. Grace worried sometimes that she felt too happy. She worried that things couldn’t keep going as well as they were right now. But there wasn’t time for those thoughts at the moment.

  ‘Come on lover. It’s almost time to collect Jack from Montessori!’

  Chapter Thirty One

  Sean and Tara were in Siam’s, a Thai restaurant in Malahide, waiting for everyone else to arrive. Tonight they were going to meet Shay properly. Tara and Grace had already met him a couple of weeks ago but didn’t really get a chance to talk to him. Thankfully Tara was off her Atkins diet; she couldn’t stand not eating carbs for the rest of her life, so things were back to normal. She already knew what she was going to order – tempura for starters followed by Thai green curry. Delicious!

  Sean watched his wife with a grin on his face. He could tell she was thinking about food. There was always a certain glint in her eye when she did! It was good to see her smiling too. It had been another disappointing month for them both. Last week Tara had got her period once again. The thing that worried him the most was that she had seemed resigned to its presence. Through their work both of them saw babies and expectant mothers all the time. Only today he’d confirmed a pregnancy to a deliriously happy young woman. He couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to hear the news that he was to become a father. He knew that this was so hard on Tara; he witnessed the crushing devastation the negative pregnancy tests left on his wife every month. They had finally looked for help and had both gone through the gauntlet of tests, only to be told that they had no physical problems as to why they had not conceived. This in itself was extremely good news, but also extremely frustrating as it meant they had no magic solution to solving the mystery why they had not succeeded.

  ‘What you thinking about?’ Tara asked her husband. ‘You okay, babe?’

  ‘I’m fine. Just wondering if this is the real thing with Abby and Shay?’ he quickly lied.

  ‘Don’t know, Sean. According to Abby it’s going fantastically. It’ll be interesting to see how they are together. And don’t forget to remind Grace that she’s due a check-up with you,’ Tara said.

  ‘I know. I did call her on Monday and she promised to make an appointment, which of course she didn’t. So I’ve taken the decision out of her hands and scheduled her in for an appointment on Monday morning. Like it or lump it!’ Sean replied.

  Tara leaned in and kissed her husband in approval. Even though Grace was feeling fantastic right now, it was important she kept her routine check-ups.

  Tom and Gerry were the next to arrive. There were the usual theatrical air kisses between Tara and Gerry, while the boys manfully shook hands.

  ‘Darling, you’re looking ravishing tonight. And you don’t look too bad either Tara!’ Gerry quipped, blowing a kiss at Sean. He loved to rile Sean any chance he could. He knew that over the top ‘ga
yness’ made him feel slightly threatened. Although he’d never admit it.

  ‘Leave Sean alone,’ Tom told Gerry with a laugh. ‘Now let’s get the drinks in.’ He beckoned the waiter over and ordered a couple of vodka tonics for himself and Gerry. Tara and Sean were already sipping their drinks.

  Then Grace and Liam arrived, looking a little bit ruffled.

  ‘You haven’t been at it again, have you?’ Tara whispered to her friend.

  Nodding, Grace replied, ‘You’re just jealous!’

  ‘Too right I am! Do you two ever stop?’ Tara said with a giggle.

  ‘That’s enough whispering from you two,’ Tom commanded. ‘Now listen to me. When Abby asks us later on what we think of Shay, here’s what we’re all to do.’

  Gerry smiled at Tom as he relayed his plan to everyone. He had schemed all the way to the restaurant in the taxi. No sooner had he finished instructing everyone when the couple of the night walked in. Abby looked like the cat who’d got the cream and Shay looked pretty much the same, albeit a little bit worried as well.

  ‘Hi everyone. This is Shay,’ Abby announced proudly.

  ‘Shay, you remember Grace and Tara? Well this is Liam – Grace’s fiancé – and Sean – Tara’s husband.’ Shay walked over and shook hands with the guys and bent down to give the girls a peck on the cheek. ‘And this is Tom, Gerry you’ve met.’ Shay shook each of their hands too and looked slightly taken aback when Gerry jumped up and kissed him on the cheek!

  ‘Just treat him like one of the girls, mate,’ Tom said with a laugh.

  ‘Darling you look gorgeous as usual,’ Gerry said as Abby sat down beside him.

  ‘Thank you, Gerry. You look stunning too. So handsome and debonair.’ Gerry practically preened himself as she spoke.