‘I’m fine, Liam. Sorry for the dramatic exit,’ Grace apologised. ‘Is Catherine okay?’
Catherine had walked to the door and answered Grace herself, ‘I’m grand, pet. Just so very worried about you.’
‘Well don’t be, Catherine. None of this is your fault. I can understand why you didn’t want to tell me before. It must have been very hard for you to tell me. Thank you for being so brave.’ She walked over to her and pulled her into her arms for a hug. She actually felt her mother sag with relief. She suddenly felt very frail to her and Grace became aware for the first time that Catherine was almost sixty. ‘Liam, make some tea please. I think we could both do with some. Come on in Catherine. Let’s sit down.’
Liam was once again amazed by his fiancée. She was taking control and looking after Catherine. She seemed to have digested the information about the rape and dealt with it in the course of the twenty minutes or so she’d been gone.
‘Was the man who raped you from Ballymichael?’ Grace asked.
Catherine nodded.
‘Did you know him well?’ Grace continued.
‘Yes. He was a friend to my family. I trusted him,’ Catherine confirmed.
‘Did you have any kind of relationship with him?’ Grace further probed.
‘Other than as a friend, no. He overpowered me. He gave me no choice, Grace.’ This, Catherine answered very firmly.
‘Catherine please don’t ever feel the need to convince me of that. I believe you absolutely. I’m just trying to build a picture up in my mind. Are you okay to talk about this Catherine? We can stop if it’s too much,’ Grace asked.
‘No I’m fine. You have a right to know and maybe it’s time I got rid of some ghosts. I’ve kept this secret to myself for your whole lifetime, Grace. I tried to tell Ann – my cousin – once but it was too hard. So I kept it quiet,’ Catherine said sadly.
‘What happened when you found out you were pregnant?’ Grace asked her gently.
‘I told my family, but they didn’t handle it very well. My dad threw me out when I wouldn’t reveal who the father was.’
Grace felt that she was probably getting an abbreviated version of events from Catherine. She was trying to soften the blow of the story. Grabbing Catherine’s hand to show her support, Grace listened as Catherine told the story of how she left Ballymichael and ended up in Dublin, finally giving Grace up for adoption.
Liam came in with a tray with a pot of coffee and tea on it. Pouring drinks for everyone, he sat opposite them.
‘Why didn’t you tell your dad that you’d been raped? Surely he would have supported you then?’ Grace asked with dismay.
‘I was scared, Grace. I felt ashamed that I’d been raped, like somehow it was my fault. I felt ashamed that I’d got pregnant and knew it was going to bring shame on my family. I didn’t know what to do.’
Although Liam had heard this before he still felt a surge of anger on Catherine’s behalf. He could see that Grace was feeling the same anger too.
‘You said it was a family friend. A friend of your father’s?’ Grace asked.
Catherine nodded in response.
‘Did he know you were pregnant?’ Grace asked her.
‘Yes, he did. In fact my father spoke to him about it when I told my parents I was pregnant,’ Catherine replied.
‘What did he do?’ Grace asked, horrified.
Catherine hesitated and wondered how much she should say.
‘Please tell me, Catherine,’ Grace guessed her thoughts. ‘I can take it, honestly.’
‘He wanted me to have an abortion. He was scared too. Scared I might tell people what had happened,’ Catherine answered, looking at her daughter straight in the eye.
Grace was shocked at this revelation, yet at the same time surprised that she was shocked. What more could she expect from a man who had raped a woman? ‘Did you think about having one?’ Grace asked quietly. ‘I wouldn’t blame you at all if you had. I’m not sure I would have had the strength to go ahead with the pregnancy.’
‘I didn’t, not for a moment, Grace.’ This was true Grace realised as she watched her mother’s face.
‘Thank you for that, Catherine,’ Grace replied, brushing aside a tear as it began to fall from her eye.
‘For what, pet?’ Catherine asked.
‘For having me. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be raped. Then to get pregnant. Nobody could have blamed you if you’d had an abortion.’
‘It wasn’t an option for me Grace. Plus Ireland was very different back then,’ Catherine replied.
‘When you wouldn’t meet me ten years ago, was that because of the rape?’ Grace whispered.
‘Partly,’ Catherine replied honestly. ‘I was scared again. I sound like a wimp don’t I? I was afraid that when I met you, I’d be reminded of it. I was also afraid you’d want to know who your father was.’
‘You’re not a wimp, Catherine. You’re one of the bravest women I know.’ Grace leaned forward and gave her mother a kiss on the cheek. ‘Do I remind you of the rape when you see me now?’ She really hoped the answer was no.
‘No. I was so nervous when I got your letter the second time. I knew I had to see you because you needed me. But I wasn’t sure if I’d lose it when I met you. But I needn’t have worried. You were so beautiful in every way and that’s what I saw when I met you. I never think of the rape when I see you. Except of course when the subject of your father comes up.’ This acknowledgement came with a small smile.
‘I’m sorry. No wonder you kept running away when I kept harping on about it!’ Grace replied.
They both took a sip of tea. ‘Is there any chance that I’ll bump into him?’ Grace asked with a wobbly voice.
‘Very slim, Grace. He still lives in Ballymichael, so unless you go there looking for him, it’s very unlikely,’ Catherine answered.
‘You never have to meet him, babe,’ Liam said firmly.
‘Who knows about all this?’ Grace asked Liam.
‘Tom, Gerry and me,’ Liam replied. ‘We haven’t told the others.’
Grace was relieved to hear this. If they had all known, she would have had no choice but to find out the man’s identity. ‘Well if that’s the case, I don’t want to know who he is. What good would it do knowing his name. I have no desire to meet him, especially after what he’s done to Catherine. My father was Mick Devlin. I don’t want or need another father. As far as I’m concerned that’s the end of this subject,’ Grace said firmly.
Catherine was relieved to hear her daughter say this. It was the right thing. Knowing her father was a rapist and also a priest was too much for anyone to cope with in one day. ‘If you ever want to know, I’ll tell you, I promise. But I’m glad you feel that way. There’s absolutely nothing to gain by learning his name,’ Catherine told Grace.
‘Liam, will you talk to Tom and Gerry and make sure they keep this information to themselves?’ Grace asked.
‘Of course, babe. I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of both of you.’ Walking over to them, he gave them both a hug.
Chapter Thirty Four
‘One, two, three – go!’ Grace, Abby, Tara and Gerry downed their baby Guinness’s in a split second.
‘Darlings! I swear those drinks are little pieces of heaven!’ Gerry screamed, licking his lips.
‘I don’t think that barman has ever seen a man wearing a tiara and lip gloss downing a baby Guinness with his pinkie finger sticking out before!’ Tara said, giving Gerry a dig in his ribs playfully.
The group laughed, then Abby jumped up shouting ‘more drinks!’ and headed to the bar. They were in Donegal in a small village called Downings on Grace’s hen night. She hadn’t wanted to have a typical hen night in Temple Bar or, in fact, any big town. Tara had known that instinctively and had come up with this beautiful village on the Donegal coast. It was fabulous and just perfect. They were staying in a gorgeous bed and breakfast, which was within walking distance of the local bar. They’d had a gorgeous steak earlie
r, but were now ready for serious partying. Gerry had arrived with dress-up gear for each of the girls. They all had tiaras and wands, with Grace having the added accessories of a set of fairy wings. Tara had then spiced things up with a pair of inflatable boobs that looked hilarious mixed with the fairy gear.
‘Okay time for a game,’ Gerry told the girls, as Abby passed out another round of drinks. ‘What I have here is a set of cards and each card has a dare that all self-respecting brides have to do before they can get married,’ Gerry said very seriously. ‘Now pick a card number Grace and I’ll tell you what you need to do!’
‘I know I’m going to regret this, but what the hell!’ Grace said laughing. ‘I’ll have card number 4, please Gerry.’
‘A good choice Ms Yummy Mummy!’ Gerry said with a lascivious wink. ‘Stand up on your chair and tell us a dirty joke!’
Abby, Tara and Gerry all started chanting ‘Joke, Joke, Joke,’ ensuring that the whole bar stopped what they were doing to turn around and look at the group.
‘She won’t do it’ Abby said, laughing.
‘Course she will,’ Tara said, giggling. ‘That one loves the limelight!’
With that Grace jumped up on her seat and picked up her bottle of Budweiser. Holding the bottle as a mike, she turned to the pub and shouted, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a little joke I’d like to tell everyone. This is a story about a man called Paddy. Paddy was a long way from his hometown of Co. Clare. He was working in the Philippines. One night he went to a club for a drink. He walked into the bar and the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in his life walked up to him. “Would you like to buy me a drink, Mister?” the beautiful woman asked Paddy,’ Grace said using a very convincing Philippine woman’s voice, much to the amusement of her friends. ‘Paddy couldn’t believe his luck and as he bought the lady a drink, he thought to himself, Jaysus, they don’t make them like this in Clare.’ Grace spoke with a strong Clare accent for Paddy’s voice. ‘Then the woman asked Paddy if he wanted to dance. Leading him to the dance floor, she pulled Paddy in close, running her hands over his body.’ Grace demonstrated this, much to the delight of the men in the bar and to the whoops of her friends, then continued, ‘Paddy couldn’t believe his luck and again thought to himself, Jaysus, they don’t make them like that back in Clare! Then the woman whispered in Paddy’s ear, “Would you like to come back to my place?” Paddy could barely conceal his excitement, thinking to himself, Jaysus, they don’t make them like this in Clare!’ Paddy and his new friend were back at her place and she said to Paddy, “Would you like to make love to me?” Paddy nodded yes excitedly, thinking to himself, Jaysus they don’t make them like this in Clare!’
Grace was giggling at this stage, she could barely continue with her joke, as quite a few people were joining in with the catchline ‘Jaysus they don’t make them like this in Clare’. Continuing, Grace told the group, ‘So Paddy got undressed and the woman said “Take me from behind!” Paddy nearly had a heart attack, thinking…..’ Grace turned to the pub and encouraged them all to say the catchline, which they did! ‘Jaysus they don’t make them like this in Clare!’ Delighted they were joining in, she continued, ‘So Paddy entered from behind and ran his hand down the woman’s body, until he came to a penis sticking out from the front of her body!’
Gerry squealed, ‘Lucky Paddy!’ ducking as Grace threw a beer mat at him.
She carried on, ‘Paddy couldn’t believe what he was feeling – a penis in the front of the woman’s body! Then he shouted out “Jaysus they don’t make them like this in Clare. In through the back, straight out through the front!”’
The whole pub erupted into a round of applause and cheers and Grace obligingly took a bow!
‘Told you!’ Tara said to Abby with a laugh.
‘Darling, I didn’t know you had it in you!’ Gerry grinned, blowing a kiss at Grace.
‘Oh my God, I need a drink!’ Grace replied, but she was secretly delighted with her performance! It felt good to be having fun, no holds barred again, with her friends. ‘Okay, need to take the focus off me for a minute!’ Grace said, laughing. ‘Come on Abby; tell us the latest on Shay!’
‘Well, it’s going really well,’ Abby said with a smile. ‘We just have the best time together. It’s easy, no hassles, no rows, no misunderstandings. Just great!’
‘You want to kiss him, you want to marry him,’ Tara started saying in a singsong voice, with the others joining in.
‘Maybe,’ Abby answered with a laugh.
‘Maybe, she says maybe! Darling, you’re thinking of getting married?’ Gerry squealed, spilling his drink in his excitement. ‘I can see it now – Weddings by Gerry!’
‘Is it that serious sweetie?’ Grace asked Abby earnestly.
‘I think so. He brought me to look at a show house at the weekend that he thought would be fantastic for us to live in. It’s gorgeous, a three-bed detached house,’ Abby gushed.
‘Wow, that’s huge news, Abby,’ Tara said impressively. Grace and Gerry both nodded in agreement.
‘Does he know that you don’t want to live with anyone until you’re married?’ Tara continued. Abby had always said this; she reckoned her dad wouldn’t be able to deal with her “living in sin”, as he delicately put it.
‘Yes. He knows all that. We had “the talk” quite early on actually, about what we thought about the whole marriage/living together thing,’ Abby told her friends.
‘So, if he knows you don’t want to live “in sin’’,’ – here Tara raised her eyes to heaven – ‘and he’s showing you show houses…Oh My God!’
‘He’s going to propose!’ Grace, Gerry and Tara exclaimed together.
‘Do you think so?’ Abby asked, with what looked like a hanger in her mouth. They all nodded their assent.
‘I wonder when he’s going to do it,’ Grace said dreamily. ‘Maybe Christmas. Maybe Santa’s got something extra sparkly in his stocking this year!’
‘I want to get married,’ Gerry said pouting. ‘I’d be a beautiful bride.’
‘Yes you would, oh gorgeous man!’ Grace said laughing. ‘Sure what’s stopping you now?’
‘Nothing. We could have a civil ceremony. Maybe one day,’ Gerry answered.
‘Would you wear white?’ Tara asked with a giggle.
‘No darling, I’d wear pink! Right, time for another card,’ Gerry said, waving them in Grace’s face. ‘Choose a number, Ms Devlin.’
‘I’ll have no. 2 this time please,’ Grace said seriously.
‘Okay darling, you must walk around this bar and kiss the best looking man in the room – your choice – and also kiss the ugliest man in the bar – which will be our choice!’
‘That’s evil! Best looking man, that’s easy,’ Grace said, standing up. ‘Come here, Tiger,’ she said as she grabbed Gerry by his shoulders for a big kiss on the lips.
‘This lady’s not for turning!’ Gerry said afterwards with a laugh, ‘but I’ll say one thing for you Grace, Liam’s one lucky fella!’ To which the girls all roared with laughter.
Tara and Abby then jumped up to go and look for the winner of the ugliest man category, returning with what looked like an extra from Worzel Gummidge.
‘Grace meet Charlie, Charlie meet Grace.’ Taking a deep breath, Grace jumped up and gave Charlie a kiss on his cheek, to which she received another round of applause from the bar.
‘Don’t marry that other fella, marry me,’ Charlie slurred at Grace.
The rest of the night passed by in a blur of vodka tonics, baby Guinness’s and even a few rounds of Flaming Sambucas. Singing, ‘Going to the chapel and we’re going to get married’, the gang were the last to leave the bar, with promises of undying love from Charlie.
Chapter Thirty Five
Tara woke up the following morning with what felt like two dozen tiny leprechauns dancing in her brain. Her mouth also felt like it had grown a carpet inside it overnight. Thankfully she had had the foresight to buy a couple of litres of Ballygowan the previous eve
ning; ready for what she knew would be a belter of a hangover. Having downed a couple of pints of water, she felt a little bit better. Taking a look at her mobile, she realised it was early, only 8 a.m. Always the same; when you don’t have to get up early, sure as the sun sets in the west, you’ll wake up at the crack of dawn, she thought. They had decided to go down for breakfast at 10.30, the last serving. Tara glanced over at Grace’s bed, then realised with a jolt that her friend wasn’t there. Checking the bathroom and seeing it was empty, Tara noticed a message scribbled on the bathroom mirror in red lippy – ‘Gone for a walk. X’
Tara threw some clothes on and headed out the door. It was freezing cold, but dry at least. That’s the Irish weather for you in December. Tara figured that Grace would have headed for the beach. She loved the coast and had been talking about going for a walk along the beach since they arrived yesterday afternoon.
It took about ten minutes to get to the beach and Tara wrapped her scarf tightly around her, thanking her foresight to have worn it and her hat. She scanned the beach both left and right, not seeing any sign of Grace in either direction, so decided to leave her decision up to luck. Left winning the contest, she headed in that direction. After walking for what felt like an hour, but was probably only a couple of minutes, she could see the faint outline of someone heading in her direction. Picking up her pace, she was delighted when a couple of minutes later she realised it was her friend.
‘Hey you,’ Tara said, giving Grace a hug. ‘I was worried for a minute; thought aliens had finally come back for you!’
‘Ha, ha, such a comedienne!’ Grace replied, smiling.
‘Oh no my friend, that would be you!’ Tara quipped. ‘Jaysus, they don’t make them like this in Clare!’
Beyond Grace's Rainbow: HarperImpulse Contemporary Romance Page 22