My watch revealed to me that Liana had taken up fifteen of the forty minutes I had before I had to leave for Centennial Olympic Park. Damn. I hurried over to my wardrobe and shuffled through my outfits. Nothing seemed good enough. I wanted an outfit that said “I’m interested” without saying “Come and get it, right here, right now.” It proved to be a surprisingly difficult task.
I tried on two sundresses before deciding dresses probably weren’t the way to go if we were going to be doing a lot of walking. After deciding on the perfect pair of comfortable yet chic jeans, I tried on three shirts before settling. It was a black top with a crystal design, showing a bit of cleavage without looking trashy. It was the best I could do.
I had to make a choice between putting on makeup and being five minutes late to meet Alexander, and I decided on the latter. I was lucky that most of my makeup had stayed on overnight, so he didn’t see me bare-faced. I wasn’t ready just yet for him to see me without concealer or eyebrow pencil. I quickly went through my routine—concealer, powder, blush, eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss—and grabbed my sunglasses from my nightstand. With a flick of the light switch and turn of the lock, I headed toward my car.
I found Alexander sitting on a bench near the parking lot ten minutes after we were supposed to meet. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “I had to make the choice between being on time and putting on makeup.”
“Well, you look great, so it was worth the wait,” Alexander said as he smiled. “Lead the way!”
I took Alexander down my favorite walking path and couldn’t help but get butterflies in my stomach when he intertwined his fingers with mine. We made our way around the fountains and watched as parents and children ran through the splash pad and rings of water. For a split second, I imagined it being me and Alexander with our child someday. This was the first time I really thought of the baby inside me as our child. I quickly shook the thought from my head. It was too soon to be thinking like that.
As we strolled through the gardens, my stomach let out a loud grumbling sound. I was absolutely mortified, but Alexander didn’t comment on it at all. He simply said, “I’m hungry. Want to go grab a bite to eat?”.
We stopped at a local café and were seated at a table in the corner of the small restaurant. As we dined on soup and sandwiches, Alexander gave me a detailed critique of Grease, which I’d fallen asleep during the night before. He knew how much I loved the movie, so having him take the time to give me the commentary I’d missed was just the sweetest thing. I loved that he didn’t take himself too seriously. I also loved that he seemed to take me seriously.
As we finished our last few bites, Alexander’s cell phone vibrated on the table. “Sorry about that,” he said.
I offered him an understanding nod.
“Don’t worry about it! Answer it! I’ve had you all to myself since last night.”
Alexander glanced down at his phone, a frown appearing on his face.
“I’m sorry, Casey,” he said. “There’s an important meeting at the company in an hour that I completely forgot about.”
I immediately felt terrible for taking him away from his work. Sure, he had called out willingly, but I didn’t want to be the kind of girl to tell her boyfriend—or whatever he was—what he could or couldn’t do.
“Duty calls,” I said. “But thanks for halfway playing hooky with me!”
“I’m really sorry,” Alexander said. “I was looking forward to spending the rest of the day with you.”
I leaned over and offered him a kiss as a way of showing him that I wasn’t upset about him cutting out early. This had already been the longest—and best—date of my life.
“I’ll just have to take a rain check.”
Alexander stood up from his chair and turned toward the door.
“You can count on it.”
The love songs on the car ride home made me wonder where this relationship was heading. Was it even a relationship? I put my hand on my barely-pregnant stomach, hoping it would hold the answers I was searching for. No such luck. It had been such a whirlwind eighteen hours that I nearly forgot I was pregnant. I was on an incredible date with an equally incredible man.
Now, as I wiped the raindrops that had begun to fall from my windshield, I questioned everything I knew. I finally had what I had been craving for so long, but it didn’t feel quite like I thought it would. I felt confused and excited and nervous and nauseous. I wondered if this was the universe’s plan for me all along. I wondered if Alexander felt the same way I was feeling. Most of all, I wondered what the etiquette was for dating your sperm donor.
Chapter 10
Alexander
I counted down the minutes until it was time to leave for my monthly appointment at the clinic, unsure if it was because I was dreading it or excited for it. Of course I was excited to see Casey, but I was also nervous about being back at the clinic for a reason I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Maybe I was worried things were going too well with me and Casey and going back to the clinic would mess it up. Or maybe it was that I was worried the doctors would find out about my relationship with Casey. What did it matter? There was nothing wrong with it.
I sat in on a meeting with the accounting department of the company, hoping it would help the time pass. Truthfully, I didn’t care much about budgets or profits at that moment—or really at all. That was the entire point of having a VP of Finance. Unfortunately for me, the VP of Finance had a stomach bug, so I offered to take his place in the meeting.
The other two meetings I had scheduled for the day—one in person and one via conference call— dragged on until 2:30 finally hit. I made my way over to the clinic, doing a quick check in my car mirror to make sure I looked ok. I had never felt this way about anyone before. I was falling for Casey, and I was about to go into her place of employment and masturbate. Our situation was as strange as it sounded.
My plan to act as nonchalant as possible lasted less than a minute, when I caught my shoe on the rug in the entryway and stumbled. I looked up at Casey, who buried the bottom half of her face in the sleeve of her sweater, clearly trying her best not to smile or laugh. I walked up to the counter and wrote my name on the sign-in sheet.
“Welcome back, Mr. Preston,” Casey said. “Please have a seat. We’ll call you back shortly.” If it wasn’t for the two couples in the waiting room, I would have jumped over the counter and kissed Casey right then and there. But, I retreated to the sitting area and took a seat with a prime view of the hottie behind the desk.
I scrolled through social media on my phone, doing my best to pass the time. Why was it going by so slowly? I reminded myself that I’d sat here a dozen times as Casey sat right behind that same desk, and I’d never made a move. I could handle waiting until our next date.
A visibly pregnant woman in a three-sizes-too-small dress walked into the clinic and up to Casey’s desk. For a moment, I imagined Casey six or seven months from now. She’d be waddling in here with her baby bump each day, sitting behind that desk and dealing with the same nasty patients I’d seen her encounter on so many occasions.
I still hadn’t quite grasped that she was carrying my child. There were probably other women who had been inseminated with my sperm that were carrying a child with my DNA, but it was different, I supposed, because I’d never had any interaction with them. Besides that, I was certain they had nothing on Casey.
I tried not to think about what would happen to my relationship with Casey as she became more and more pregnant, because I knew there were only two possibilities. We would either keep seeing each other and I would become a father—not only genetically, but emotionally and physically—to this child, or we would drift apart and I would have no part in either of their lives. Both of those possibilities scared me in different ways.
Get ahold of yourself, Alexander, I told myself. You’ve been on one date with this girl. Sure, it was amazing, but it was one date. See where it goes first. Start with another date.
“Mr. Pr
eston,” Casey said, jolting me from my thoughts. I had to admit that it was weird to hear Casey calling me by my last name, in a professional tone, after days of calling me Alexander. “Follow me, please.”
I followed Casey to my usual room, but, instead of closing the door behind me, I pulled her inside. I leaned in for a deep kiss, which she accepted with ease. “Just needed some inspiration,” I said with a grin.
“Ok, but let’s try to keep it professional here,” Casey said. “I’m not sure what the protocol is for sleeping with the clients. Or, you know, being impregnated by one.”
Casey had a joking tone in her voice, but something told me she wasn’t kidding in the least. I understood her point. “Yes, ma’am.” I reclaimed her mouth for a final kiss and let her slip out the door.
Oh, how life had changed since the last time I was in this very room. One thing hadn’t changed, though. My inspiration for the task at hand.
I think I set a personal best for obtaining my contribution this time, which I could only attribute to my lovely inspiration. With images of Casey, her legs spread apart and nipples erect, still filling my mind, I set the plastic cup down on the counter and tried to cool myself down before leaving the room. I did my best to avoid eye contact with Casey as I walked out the door. I wanted to avoid any possibility of getting revved up again.
As soon as I stepped onto the sidewalk, I dialed the number of the clinic and watched from the window. “6th Street Clinic, Casey speaking. How may I help you?”
“Go on another date with me this weekend,” I said. A confused look appeared on Casey’s face as she looked around the room. Finally, she met my gaze through the window. I responded with a subtle nod and wave.
“Did you really call just to ask me that?”
I nodded through the window. “I didn’t want to risk getting you in trouble. So, is that a yes or a no?”
Casey giggled. “I’d love to.”
“Great,” I said. “It’s a date.”
Chapter 11
Casey
Driving toward Liana’s house, I wasn’t sure whether her last-minute dinner invitation was a blessing or a curse. The drive to Liana’s town home was exactly 2.2 miles, but it was enough to convince me that I should tell her the whole story about Alexander. After all, things were going well, and it might be nice to have someone to go to prenatal appointments with.
I walked up to the door with store-made white chocolate macadamia cookies—our favorite—and rang the doorbell. “Hey, Casey,” Greg, Liana’s husband, said. They had been married for about a year and a half, having met on a blind date set up by our other friend, Jane. I wasn’t extraordinarily close with Greg, but Liana was like a sister to me, so I made a mental note to get to know her husband better. Maybe there were even some double dates in our future.
Greg led me into the kitchen, where a very pregnant Liana turned to greet me. It had only been a month since I’d last seen her, but, apparently, a lot can happen in a month when you are pregnant with twins. “Look at you!” I squealed. “You have a bump and everything!”
Liana scurried over to give me a hug as Greg disappeared down the hall into his office. “Isn’t it crazy that it’s actually happening?”
“So crazy,” I said. “Doesn’t it feel like just yesterday we were little college sophomores, thrown together in a random room assignment?” I knew Liana didn’t like to talk about college unless I brought it up, because my dropping out hurt her almost as badly as it hurt me. She was devastated to finish senior year without me, and I knew she avoided bringing up Georgia State so I wouldn’t have to relive the awful ending.
Liana nodded. “It’s crazy how time flies.” With oven mitts on her hands, Liana reached into the oven and pulled a disposable metal pan from the oven. “I didn’t really feel like making homemade lasagna, so I bought a frozen one from the store. Hope that’s ok!”
“Sounds perfect!” I said. Lasagna was the one food that Liana—a super picky eater—and I could both agree on, so it was our go-to dinner when we got together.
As Liana cut pieces of lasagna and put them on each of our plates, I drew in a breath. I knew I couldn’t hold in my news any longer. More than that, I knew Liana would give me a mouthful if I did. “So, how’s it going with the new guy you’re dating?” she asked.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted. The words were out there, and there was no taking them back. Liana nearly dropped the plate of lasagna she was holding as she looked up to see if I was joking.
“You’re…what?”
“Sit down,” I said. “It’s a long story.”
“Are you serious?” Liana asked.
I nodded. “It’s still early, so it’d be great if you wouldn’t tell anyone.” I’m not sure why I even bothered adding that last part. Liana and I had maybe half a dozen mutual friends, so she couldn’t do all that much damage.
“Of course,” she said. “Now start with the long story.”
I didn’t know where to start, so I told Liana about how I’d been majorly crushing on Alexander for months. Then, I gave every detail I could remember about the day that changed everything. My story was interrupted with intermittent gasps of “Oh my gosh” and “No way”, but I finally finished up with the lowdown on the second half of our overnight date.
“I don’t know how this happened, Li,” I said. “I’m confused and anxious and unsure of what I want, but I’m also happy.”
“You’re pregnant!” Liana exclaimed. “We get to raise our babies together!”
In all the chaos of the past few weeks, I had forgotten that this baby growing inside me would be just a few months younger than Liana’s boys. “That’s right,” I said. “Kind of crazy how that happened.”
“So, what are you going to do about Alexander?”
“That’s the problem,” I said, shoveling a bite of lasagna in my mouth. “He complicates everything. As unconventional as it sounds, I sort of thought he would, you know, give me his sperm, and that would be that. I didn’t expect to fall for him.”
Liana nodded sympathetically. “He sounds great, Case.”
“He really is. And so far out of my league it’s crazy. He’s just charming and sexy and kind. But is it wrong of me to date him?”
“The heart wants what it wants,” Liana said. “But I’m still trying to soak in the fact that you had a guy you barely knew have sex with you just to impregnate you.”
I buried my face in my hands. It sounded pretty bad when she put it that way. “You know how badly I want a baby, a family.”
“I know, sweetie. But, as harsh as this may sound, having a baby, especially as a single mother, isn’t going to heal old wounds. Obviously, you’ve made your choice, but just make sure you’re having this baby for the right reasons.”
For the first time since the pregnancy test came back positive, I was not only doubting my relationship with Alexander, but also my ability to be a mother. “You don’t think I’ll be a good mom,” I said.
Liana shook her head so fast I thought it was going to fall off. “Don’t be silly,” she said. “You’re going to be an amazing mom. I see how great you are with Jane’s girls, and I know how badly you want to be a mom. I’m just surprised by all this. That’s all.”
“I get it. It certainly took me by surprise.”
“Casey, I’m just happy you’re happy,” Liana said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you light up like you do when you talk about Alexander.”
That was exactly what I needed to hear. All I needed was some reassurance that I wasn’t crazy for wanting to see where things went with Alexander. We finished our lasagna, scooping the last bits of melted cheese from our plates, as Liana updated me on her job.
As a social worker in a more urban area of town, she always had an interesting—and sometimes scary—story to share. She took my mind off the baby and Alexander with a story about a nasty custody battle that had resulted in the shooting of a local police officer. I had heard about it in the news, but I ha
d no idea Liana was the social worker on the case. I wasn’t a spiritual person by any stretch of the imagination, but I told myself that I would start praying for Liana’s safety each day.
Seeing Liana get up to go to the bathroom half a dozen times over the two hours I spent with her made me nervous about what was to come in my pregnancy. Oh well. I would face it when the time came. Over our cookie dessert, after a quick bathroom break, Liana asked me a question I wasn’t prepared for. “If things work out with Alexander, are you going to raise the baby together?”
“I…uh…” I said. “I mean, we’ve never really talked about it.”
Liana wasn’t one to take deflected answers. “But would you like that?”
“I guess so,” I said with a shrug. “What parent doesn’t dream about raising their child as part of a complete family? But I don’t want to get my hopes up. I wanted this baby without any expectation of having the father involved.” I knew that, deep down, I was probably lying both to Liana and to myself. Even though Alexander was still new in my life, he seemed like he’d make an amazing father, with his kind, understanding nature.
Loading me up with half the lasagna and the few remaining cookies, Liana sent me on my way with a promise to let her know when my first prenatal appointment was, and to update her on any new happenings on the Alexander front. I walked back to my car, relieved to finally have someone to talk to about all of this.
I checked my phone for the first time since I’d gotten to Liana’s house and saw two text messages from Alexander. The first one said, Hope your night is as lovely as you are. The second message sent my heart fluttering. Clear your schedule this weekend. I’m taking you camping.
Chapter 12
Alexander
As I waited for Casey to arrive at my house, I reread the text message she sent me when I mentioned the camping plans.
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