by Rye Hart
There was a man sitting on a bench, staring back at me. I wiped the tears from my eyes and when his face came into view I felt my heart stop. As I got out of my car, my eyes were blinking rapidly, trying to correct what I was seeing.
Ryan was sitting across the street.
How was that possible? He was supposed to be in jail being held until trial, or however the hell that stuff worked. I took a step through the shrubbery and stood alongside the road, waiting as lines of cars passed me by.
But my eyes weren’t deceiving me.
It really was Ryan.
He stood from the bench as I jogged across the road. I walked up to him, his eyes locked onto mine. I rose my hand up and cupped his cheek, my thumb running over his skin.
“How—how are you here?”
“They let me go,” Ryan said.
His hand rose to settle over mine and a comforting heat blanketed my body.
“How is that possible?” I asked breathlessly.
“Apparently, I have marketable skills the FBI wants to leverage.”
“What?” I asked.
“When I was in holding, a man came to visit me. A Supervisory Special Agent who works with the FBI. He offered me a job.”
“He what?” I asked.
“Yeah. That was my reaction.”
My hand fell from his face and he took it within his.
“They’ve hired me on for a full-time position working with the FBI to catch men like me. Men who code on levels most coders can’t. They want me to help them strengthen the security of financial institutions and train men coming into the field to track people like me.”
“That’s—that’s incredible, Ryan.”
“I took the job in exchange for serving no time, but the job isn’t here.”
“Where is it?” I asked.
“D.C.”
I felt my heart drop to my toes as I slid my hand away from his.
“Grace, I will completely understand if you never forgive me. What I did was awful, and the danger it put you and our child in—”
I watched him swallow hard as my eyes filled with tears.
“I wanted to give you something.”
He fumbled with something behind his back before he showed me a book.
“What is this?” I asked.
“It’s a first-edition children’s book,” Ryan said.
My eyes widened as I took in the title of the book.
“Ryan, this is—”
“One of your stories, I know. Before all of this blew up, I thought of a wonderful birthday present for Harper. I went to Amy and asked her for one of your stories so I could turn it into a real book for her.”
I ran my hand across the golden title as a tear fell from my cheek.
“The Single Mom With A Single Swan,” I said breathlessly.
“Harper won’t be a single swan any longer, but the moral of the story still fits,” Ryan said.
“This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”
“It’s the absolute least of what you deserve,” he said. “Grace, you have an incredible talent for storytelling and for communicating with children. Use that talent to provide for our child. And I’ll help in any way I can.”
“Who did the illustrations?” I asked, still flipping through the book in disbelief.
I looked up into Ryan’s eyes as a grin spread across his cheeks.
“I may have sketched out a few things to go along with the storyline.”
“They’re incredible, Ryan. It’s—it’s perfect.”
“You're perfect,” he said. “Which is how I know our child is going to be okay.”
I held the book close to my chest and drew a deep breath through my nose.
“Whatever it is you need from me, you’ll have.”
“I have no idea how I feel right now. I can’t even begin to answer that question.”
“I know, and that’s fine,” he said. I nodded my head and looked into his eyes.
“There’s a slip of paper tucked in the back of the book. It’s got my number as well as my work email address. I don’t have a physical location yet, but when I have that address for you I’ll send it.”
“Okay,” I said, trying to process everything. “Yeah. Okay. Is Jason going with you?”
“He is. He’s going to try and place out of high school early so he doesn’t have to switch schools again, but he’s excited.”
“That’s good,” I said.
“How are you feeling physically?” he asked.
“Good. I mean, my ribs hurt. But my head’s okay. Sort of.”
“And the baby?”
Was this what we had been reduced to? Awkward small talk? After everything that had transpired and everything we had indulged in? After he had captured my heart and soul for the second time in my fucking life?
I was overwhelmed. Part of me wanted to kiss and make up. To beg him to stay or tell him I was going with him. Yet part of me wanted to slap him. To curse the day I’d met him and spit at his feet. My mind was swirling and it felt like the world had tilted. But a warm sensation on my lips rooted me back into reality.
It was short. And sweet. And I wanted so much more of it.
Without another word spoken, I watched him walk away. He got into his car as sadness settled itself over my heart. My tears were choking my throat, preventing me from calling out to him and telling him to come back. I watched him look back at me one last time, like he was trying to commit me to memory.
Then he ducked into his car and drove off.
I stood there, the book clutched to my chest as tears freely poured down my face. I stood there and watched his car, hoping he would turn around and come back. Hoping he would come and scoop me in his arms and press his lips against mine again and tell me I was coming with him. Or that he could find a way to stay so we could be a family.
But I watched him fade off into the distance, my body shaking in the wind.
Turning to look at my car, I started walking across the road. I was in such a daze that cars were honking at me to try and snap me out of it. Or maybe I was simply in their way. I opened my car door, still clutching the book to my chest as I stepped in.
Then I leaned my forehead against my steering wheel and sobbed.
CHAPTER 31
RYAN
“Do you think you’ll like D.C.?” Jason asked.
“I don’t know. I’m sure it’ll go better than Tell City, though,” I said.
I grinned over at my brother as we began to pack up our things. I still had a couple of weeks before I had to report, but I was ready to get out of Indiana. Thinking about everything I had risked hurt too fucking much. I had ruined my chances at a life I was so close to having, but with the opportunity presented to me to avoid prison and start over on the right side of the law, I could ill afford to dwell on the past. I couldn’t afford to stay in love with Grace when I couldn’t be with her. And, I couldn't afford to stay in a town where I had planned and implemented an armed bank robbery.
It was time I made a fresh start and tried to do life the right way.
“Jason?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you ok with all of this?” I asked him.
He smiled at me and nodded. “Yeah, I’m good. As long as we’re together, bro, I’m good.”
I ruffled his hair and continued to pack the things I wanted to take with us.
“Have you talked with Grace at all?”
I sighed and closed my eyes before I nodded my head.
“How did it go?” Jason asked.
“The answer to that question would require a very strong drink,” I said.
“Well, I can’t drink. But we’ve got sodas?”
“I could go for a soda,” I said, with a grin.
Jason walked out of the room and I listened as he shuffled down the hallway. I had a couple of places lined up for me to talk to once we got on the road. Hopefully, by the time we crossed the country and landed in D.C., I would hav
e a home for Jason and I secured. I had enough money to get us by until I got my first paycheck, and it would give Jason time with me to figure out what his next move was.
But I could sense he would be starting college earlier than expected.
A knock came at the door and I groaned. Who the hell was here? Probably kids selling something. I folded up the last of my clothes and put them into my suitcase and heard a familiar voice down the hallway.
“Hey, Jason. Is Ryan here?”
“Yeah. He’s packing. You wanna come in, Grace?”
I furrowed my brow as I started out of the room.
“Grace?” I asked.
Rounding the corner, I saw her standing there, as beautiful as ever. Her hair was brushing against her shoulders and her body was clad in a beautiful little dress. I held my breath, scared that if I breathed or blinked, she would be gone.
“I’ll just—step out for a while,” Jason said.
Then the front door closed and we were left alone in the silence.
Grace looked around the room, surveying a few of the boxes we had already packed. We weren’t taking much with us, just whatever we could shove into my car. The rest would be dropped at the nearest donation center.
“So, you’re really leaving?” she asked.
“I have to,” I said.
“But what if I—?”
I furrowed my brow as Grace drew in a deep breath.
“What is it?” I asked. “Is something wrong?”
“Yes,” she said. “Something’s very wrong.”
I felt my heart stop in my chest. A million thoughts were running through my head and I was so distracted I didn’t feel her slip her arms around my neck. Or press her warm body into mine. Or even lean her forehead against my skin.
It wasn’t until our lips met that I was pulled from my trance.
My hands fell to her hips, gripping her tightly. Willing her to stay in her spot as our tongues connected. My eyes closed and my head exploded with fireworks, as electricity shot throughout my system. I wrapped my arms around her back and pulled her close, committing every dip, curve and taste of her to memory.
She pulled back and I already missed her. Missed the feeling of her lips against my skin.
“I want our child to have a father, Ryan.”
Our foreheads connected and I let out a heavy sigh. My hands pressed into the small of her back, angling her hips into mine. I massaged her skin, breathed her air. I was trying to push the reality of our situation out of the way and enjoy her while she was in my arms.
But I couldn’t.
“It’s not possible,” I said. “I have to go to D.C.”
“But I want you to be a part of Harper’s life, too. She’s been asking about you for—for days.”
“I’m a criminal, Grace. She’ll eventually figure that out.”
“She’ll also know you’re a good man,” she said. “A man worth having in her life.”
“Do you believe that?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said, her eyes connecting with mine. “I do.”
“How?” I asked.
“Because, despite everything that happened, I get it.”
“You get what?”
“I get why you fell into that lifestyle. Why it was so easy for you. You didn’t do it because you were greedy or selfish. You did it because you had a brother to provide for and you needed to do it immediately. That doesn’t excuse the road you took, but your intentions behind it are just as important to me.”
“You can’t possibly believe that. I don’t even believe that.”
“Well, I do,” she said. “And I want you to be a part of our life. I want you to be a physical part of our child’s life.”
“I can’t stay, Grace. The job’s in D.C. If I turn it down, I go to prison.”
“I’m not asking you to turn it down.”
I furrowed my brow as I lifted my gaze to meet hers.
“Then what are you asking?”
“If you can promise me that you’re done with that life forever, then I want you back. In whatever capacity that means,” Grace said.
“Even if that were possible, that would mean you’d have to come to D.C. with me. That would be the only way we could be together.”
“Then it’s a good thing I already quit my job,” she said, with a grin.
“You what?” I asked.
“I quit my job. I figure I’ve got more options in Washington than I do in Tell City. If you’ll have me. Us.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. Grace wanted to come with us? To D.C.? I picked her up in my arms and swung her around, burying my face into the crook of her neck. She was clinging to me. Like she had these past few weeks. Like she had in high school.
Like she had the day I first told her I loved her.
“I love you so much,” I said, into her skin.
“I love you, too. You’re going to be a wonderful father, Ryan.”
Setting her down on her feet I mashed my lips into hers. I was holding the universe in my arms. I was holding my future. My family. The woman I had always loved. As our lips undulated and our teeth clattered together, I thought about our life in D.C. How I would go to work and come home and she would be there, smiling and waiting for me. Our children running around and dinner only halfway cooked as I brushed the hair from her face.
A life I thought I would never have, and it was wrapped up in my arms.
“Are you guys done yet?”
Jason opened the front door and stood there, leaning against the doorway with a grin on his cheeks.
“Because I’m hungry for lunch.”
“Oh, you’re hungry,” I said. “Well, how does pizza sound?”
“I’m down with it,” Jason said.
“Believe it or not, that sounds pretty good right about now,” Grace said.
“Then the pizza’s on me,” I said.
EPILOGUE
GRACE
TEN MONTHS LATER
I looked out over the expanse of D.C. as my hand rested on the final copy of my children’s book. It was the fourth one in my first series, and with Ryan’s support it had become my full-time job. He was illustrating the pictures in his spare time at night while I brainstormed stories and morals with him, and as my stomach grew, so did our love for one another.
Jason ended up placing out of high school as planned and obtained a full scholarship to attend Boston University’s Forensic Science program. He started college at the ripe old age of seventeen and the university was lucky to have him. Ryan was the proudest brother I’d ever seen in my life the day Jason got that acceptance letter. We threw him a massive party at Ryan’s new office with the FBI and his colleagues bought Jason things he could take with him to college.
Just like a true family would have.
“Mommy, is that your new book?”
I turned to face Harper as I picked up the book under my arm.
“It is. Do you wanna see it?” I asked.
“Could you read it to me tonight?” Harper asked.
“Of course. You wanna climb up here? We can read it while the sun sets.”
Harper climbed into my lap and snuggled into my chest. I cracked open the book for the first time, smelling the new pages. It was my favorite scent in the entire world. A book fresh off the press and ready for me to analyze. But I knew there wouldn’t be anything wrong with it. I knew it would be perfect.
“This is the story of Mr. Lion and Mr. Bear, and how they figured out they were related,” I said.
“A lion and a bear?” Harper asked. “That’s funny.”
“It is, isn’t it? But I promise you, by the end of the book you will figure out how they really are related,” I said.
I recounted the story Ryan had helped me refine over the past few weeks. The story of Mr. Lion and Mr. Bear and how they came to be related through their love for one another. Two separate species of animal who led their lives in different fashions bonded together over their love of warm grass, fu
nny jokes, and sun rises. It was a story about how relations weren’t always blood and how some relations weren’t always good. Just because Mr. Bear enjoyed the presence of other bears didn’t mean those other bears were good for him. And just because Mr. Lion had a family didn’t mean his family was always kind to him. Sometimes, being related to someone had nothing to do with blood.
Sometimes, being related to someone had to do with how two parties felt towards one another.
It was a wonderful way to describe adoption, or blended families. Or even those struggling with loving their own families. What was important in the end was that Mr. Lion and Mr. Bear loved each other and respected one another, not in spite of their differences, but because of them.
“So, what do you think?” I asked.
“I think that was an awesome story. Can you read it again?” Harper asked.
“What if I read it to you?”
I turned my head and saw Ryan stepping out onto the porch.
“Henry not going down?” I asked.
“Sometimes it just takes a mother’s touch,” Ryan said, breathlessly. “Come on, kiddo. We’ll go read it one last time.”
Ryan took Harper in his arms and picked up the book from my lap. He bent forward to kiss me on the cheek, then took her back inside. I picked myself up and headed for Henry’s nursery, hearing the little boy grunt and pitch a fit while lying in his crib.
For a three-month old, he really knew how to fight his sleep.
“Come here, sweet boy. I’ve got you.”
After two hours of feeding him, burping him, changing him, and rocking him, he finally fell asleep in my arms. It took me three different tries to put Henry down in his crib without waking him, but I finally succeeded. Henry was a different beast altogether. Harper never had a care in the world about sleeping through the night when she was a newborn.
But with Henry, I had to snag the sleep while I could, because in two hours, like clockwork, he’d be wide awake and ready to go.
“How did Harper go down?” I asked.
“Been asleep for almost an hour,” Ryan said.
“Ah, so she fought you tonight.”
“She fights me every night. I think she’s learning from her brother. Isn’t that supposed to be the other way around?”