by Annie Walker
I was just able to make out the words “where the hell are you,” before I snapped the phone shut and tried to smile at Serena and my date while pretending not to hear her next question.
‘Who was that?’
I yelled wrong number over the music just as the phone in question chirped again and I recognized Jackson’s home number although I didn’t bother answering it. At Serena’s ‘Aren’t you going to answer that,’ look, I added “Some people just don’t get it do they?” And then I put the phone on vibrate. It was safer that way really.
Ten minutes later, with the phone vibrating like crazy and almost jumping off the table, my date seated next to me handed it to me and Serena started to laugh even harder, thoroughly enjoying herself. I was so relieved to see that it wasn’t either of Jackson’s numbers that I actually answered it this time. Big mistake on my part. Although I didn’t recognize the number, it wasn’t but a second before I realized who it was.
“Hello?” I answered the phone trying to be as quiet as possible.
“What the hell is going on over there?” I barely recognized Ben’s voice through all his anger. “My uncle just called demanding that I tell him where you might be. What is going on between you two? I’ve never heard him that mad before in all my life and it just so happens it’s still early morning here. I was actually sleeping.”
“Ben?” I tried to say something without showing just how nervous I was becoming, but my date and my friend were both watching me with so much curiosity that I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to him.
“Whatever you’re doing would you two get it sorted out and leave me the hell out of it?” Ben slammed the phone down in my ear, answering my unspoken question. He most definitely had not forgiven me.
So here I sat trying to find some way to escape this mess I’d made while wondering exactly what Ben had given up to Jackson? This club was one of the places Ben and I had frequented. Had Ben have told Jackson?
I couldn’t be sure, but I knew that I didn’t want to take that chance. I was just about ready to plead headache or some other form of sickness, anything to get away from this place when I spotted Jackson making his way very purposely toward me. The look in his eyes told me just how angry he was with me.
He stopped at our table and I froze in my seat. I couldn’t move. It was like watching some bad horror movie unfold.
Jackson’s gaze left mine long enough to focus on the kid by my side. “You’re dating other men?” He looked at me as if he’d just been hit by a brick. He was in shock. My date chose just that exact moment to come to my defense.
“Who are you, dude?”
Jackson focused his entire attention on poor old Drew and I could see he wasn’t sure whether to laugh out loud or deck the kid.
“I’m the guy she’s sleeping with. The only guy, or so I thought?” He turned to address this question straight at me.
“You got me beat there, dude.”
Jackson ignored my date entirely. His blue eyes focused on my face, eyebrows raised. He expected an answer. That look told me he would get one, one way or another.
As I tried to find the right lie to come up with, across the table from me I heard my friend Serena come to my rescue at last. “So this is what she’s been keeping under wraps for so long? I knew it! I just knew there was someone!” Serena was thrilled. I was not. I was wishing that I were anywhere but here. She leaned over Jeff to introduce herself to Jackson.
He still hadn’t quite recovered from the shock of seeing me there with a date and it was all there in the absent way he answered her before reaching for my hand.
“Jackson,” he supplied when I couldn’t. “Will you excuse us for a second Serena? I think Maggie and I have some things to sort out.”
Now, Jackson didn’t wait for me to agree. He practically dragged me out of The Club to the parking lot beyond all the lights.
“You’re seeing other men?” If I weren’t in my falling apart stage, I would have found the expression of shock on his face almost comical. The great Jackson Riley was speechless. I’d gotten the better of him and I hadn’t even wanted to.
“You are, too.”
He drew in a calming breath. “No. No, Maggie—I’m not. I haven’t been able to think about another woman since I met you.”
The old Maggie would have laughed at this, but the new me was pretty much speechless as well.
“But, but Ben told me there were several women in your life. He told me…”
Jackson looked me straight in the eyes and cleared away all of my doubts once and for all. “And I’m telling you I haven’t been able to think about another woman since the night I met you. I don’t mean the night I made love to you for the first time or even that second night. I mean the first time I met you, Maggie. The night at the restaurant. You remember? The night you called me old and decrepit?”
“I didn’t call you decrepit and that can’t be true, because you were there with…” I couldn’t remember the woman’s name.
“Jessica. I sent her home in a cab remember? I haven’t thought of her since.”
“But…” Now, as I was practically crying and wondering how anyone could be so stupid, I was slowly working my way toward him.
“But?”
He took me in his arms and held me and I started to cry for real at all the tenderness he was showing toward me when I didn’t deserve it.
“Please tell me you’re not sleeping with him?” he asked, his voice almost pleading.
“I just met him tonight. I don’t sleep around.” That probably sounded ridiculous considering how I’d reacted to him, but he smiled and agreed with me.
“I know. You are going tell me what’s going on here aren’t you?”
“I was only, I was…I don’t know.”
“We’re you trying to put me in my place? Or are you simply feeling as helpless as I am?” I nodded and sobbed all the more and I felt his smile against my hair. “I haven’t felt this way about anyone…well, I’ve never felt this way. It’s kind of scary isn’t it?”
“Yes,” I agreed, happy that he understood me and scared all the same.
“I think we should go inside before your date thinks you’ve deserted him.”
I knew he was kidding, but I wasn’t amused.
“I can’t go back in there…”
“Oh, yes, you can. We need to say goodnight to your friends and you owe it to the guy to tell him what’s going on?”
“Oh God. Do I have to?”
Again, his smile told me just how young and naive I must seem to him.
“Oh, yes—you do. I don’t want there to be any confusion. You’re with me, Maggie.”
The look on Serena’s face was priceless as I tried to explain to my date about my relationship with Jackson. To his credit, Drew didn’t seem at all brokenhearted about the whole thing. I said goodnight to Serena and Jeff knowing she was storing up every single detail of the evening to share with Genna. I hadn’t heard the end of it—not by a long shot. They’d be waiting for me at our next lunch.
“Did you bring your car?” Jackson asked as we made our way out of the crowed club.
“Yes.” I couldn’t even begin to say anything more. I was shell-shocked. I hadn’t expected him to show up here and his words had floored me and given me hope that I didn’t want to have. I was speechless.
“Is Sidney at your apartment?” he asked again in that gentle voice of his and I nodded with my submissive new Maggie sweetness that frightened me all the more. “Then I’ll follow you home. I’m right over there.” He pointed to the expensive car and I, Miss Meek and Mild nodded again.
Jackson didn’t say a word until we were in the apartment and I started for the bedroom.
“Wait, Maggie, sit down with me for a moment, will you? We need to talk. I think we need to sort this out before there are any more nights like tonight, because frankly, I don’t think I can take any more of them.”
I glanced up at Jackson, felt my eyes fill wi
th tears again, and just for a moment, before I lost sight of him through all my waterworks, vaguely registered an expression of tenderness in his eyes that I refused to believe as real.
“Don’t cry. I’m not mad at you, I’m just angry with myself for not making my feelings completely clear to you a long time ago. I guess I’ve been worried about pressuring you, crossing those boundaries that you seem to need. To make it clear, once and for all, I’m not and I don’t plan on dating anyone else but you. Is that clear enough? Or do I need to make it clearer?”
I knew he was looking at me, but all I could do was nod. Because it hit me then as he said those words to me that I loved him and I couldn’t look at him and not reveal all of that to him.
“Do you feel the same? I don’t want to have to compete with any other man for you, Maggie. I think we’ve moved beyond that, don’t you? I’m sorry, but I don’t want to have to worry that you’re dating Drew or whatever his name was.”
“I wasn’t dating him. I don’t know what I was doing really. I guess I was just scared.”
Jackson knelt in front of me and took my hands. “I know that, baby, and its okay. I’m scared, too. I’ve never felt this way either. I guess this is a first for both of us, huh?” I was so busy nodding and trying to blink away the softer Maggie’s tears that I didn’t know whether to laugh at how foolish I looked or cry even harder.
“You haven’t told your friends about us?” This was the question I knew was coming, but I didn’t know how to answer it. I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t felt I could tell my friends about him.
“No.”
“Why?”
I tried to focus and I think I saw him smile, but I couldn’t be sure. “I don’t know.”
“That’s fair enough. You need to go slow. That’s okay.”
“Have you told you’re friends about me?”
“Oh, yes. My friends know everything there is to know about you. You’ve met most of them already including my best friend Sam, but don’t worry. I don’t expect you to rush into anything. I know you need to move at your own pace. I’ll try to respect that more and not push you. Is that okay?”
I nodded then throw my arms around him.
Jackson let me sleep in the following morning. I guess he figured I’d been through enough just admitting that I cared about him.
I woke to the smell of fresh coffee, showered, dressed, and went in search of the morning wake-up call I so desperately needed.
I found Jackson wasn’t there, but he’d left a mug out ready for me along with a note telling me that he’d taken Sidney for a walk and would be back soon.
I think he knew that I needed a little time to myself, to sort out my feelings. Last night, I’d come face to face with what my true feelings for him were. I was in love with him and I didn’t know how to work through that or get beyond it. There wasn’t any way to push it aside. I didn’t know what I was expecting from him. He’d told me he wanted us to be exclusive but he hadn’t said anything else. Did he feel this same way? Did he even know how to love me? I certainly couldn’t answer that and instead of resolving anything, I was even more confused.
When the doorbell sounded a few minutes later, I figured it would be Jackson. Two weeks ago, I’d had a key made for him, but I couldn’t bring myself to give it to him yet. Jackson had long ago given me the key to his house.
“I’m sorry…” I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw both Serena and Genna’s smiling faces.
Of course, if I were thinking clearly I would have known this was what was coming. They weren’t going to wait until our next lunch—this was big news. This would be huge in their eyes. This required a house call.
“Sorry to disappoint you, Maggie, but it sounds like you’re going to get to meet the very charming Jackson Riley after all, Genna.”
Serena didn’t bother waiting for an invitation to come inside. She stepped into my apartment and looked around, followed a little bit more hesitantly by Genna. I’m not sure exactly what she was expecting to find. Possibly evidence that I'd shacked up with Jackson.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us you were seeing someone? From what Serena tells me, seeing someone quite seriously. I could kick your butt for that.” This coming from the sweet Genna was almost too much to take in.
I faced Serena with all my anger. “What did you tell her to get her so worked up?” Serena wasn’t fazed.
“The truth of course. Something you’ve obviously forgotten how to come up with lately.”
About that time, I heard footsteps outside my door and knew the moment I’d been dreading the most was now unavoidable.
Jackson didn’t bother ringing the bell, because in my shock at seeing my friends I’d left the door standing wide open.
He stepped inside to three sets of startled eyes honing in on him.
“Hi,” he said to all of us. His eyes found mine and held more sympathy than I deserved. “The moment of truth, huh?”
I nodded and watched the shocked expression on both my friends faces at the strange person who'd replaced me.
Genna was the first of the two to recover. “Hi, you must be Jackson? I’m Genna, one of Maggie’s oldest friends.” She shook Jackson’s free hand and smiled in her sweet surprised little way.
“It’s nice to meet Maggie’s friends. I can see you all must have a lot to talk about so, why don’t I take Sidney over to my place and you can spend some time with your friends to explain everything. I’ll see you later?”
Again, my nod—my helpless nod. I was so unaccustomed to this meek Maggie that I was finding her skin hard to fit into. Jackson wasn’t. He came to me and took my hand.
“Walk me to the door, Maggie.”
I stood in my doorway, thanking Jackson with my eyes while my two friends stood just behind me hanging on our every word. I finally pushed them back inside, shut the door, and stepped out onto my doorstep.
“Thank you. I’m sorry about those two. They don’t know when to back off.”
“They care about you—that’s obvious. Relax will you? I’ll take Sidney over to my place and when you’re ready come over—I’ll make you lunch.”
Jackson was too good to be true I told myself when he kissed me good-bye. There had to be something, some flaw in him that I just hadn’t found yet. That didn’t stop me from wanting to go with him right now.
Instead, I steeled myself to face the inquisition that awaited me just beyond the door of my apartment.
I found my two oldest friends in the world quietly sipping coffee and giggling, no doubt at my expense, when I walked into my apartment blushing like a schoolgirl.
“Okay, Maggie, how long has this been going on and isn’t that Ben’s ‘Uncle Jackson’? The one that you’ve been poking fun at for months now?”
Oh gees, I’d almost forgotten that I’d told them everything—all the terrible things Ben had said about Jackson. How could I possibly explain how I’d ended up not only dating him, but by Jackson’s own words, sleeping with him? These two knew me pretty good…better than most. They knew how far out on a limb this was for me.
“Yes, it is, but he isn’t like that.”
“I’ll say. For one thing, he’s not a hundred years old like you had us believing. Or if he is, he’s a very well-preserved hundred.” This was typical Serena. “Damn, he’s gorgeous. Good for you. I always knew it would take someone like that to get you interested in all those girly things like commitment and forever.”
I hated she’d guessed the truth. I didn’t know if I stood a chance at any of those things with Jackson.
“It’s not like that, Serena.”
“No? Well, what is it like then? Because from where I’m sitting, I’d say you’re definitely in love with him.”
I froze, looked from one to the other, and then did something the old Maggie would have scorned and scoffed at. But the new Maggie? Well, she was getting far too comfortable doing it lately. I started to cry.
“Maggie, it’s not that bad. You
know being in love can actually be a good thing? It’s certainly changed you. You’re softer. He’s taken away those hard edges of yours.” That was my sweet Genna—always the optimist.
“It’s not a good thing! How can it be good, when it feels this bad? I don’t even recognize myself anymore and I don’t have any idea how Jackson feels about me.”
“Oh Maggie, he’s crazy about you. I mean who else would put up with you and that grouchy old dog of yours, but someone just plain crazy or crazy about you?” Serena added not quite soothing my fears.
“Gee thanks. You make me sound like a real monster.”
“No, not a monster exactly, but definitely a bully at times. You’ve certainly bullied me enough.” Genna added a little too happy, in my opinion, that I was finally getting my just deserts.
“That’s not true. Is it?” I turned to my friend Serena who was always on my side, but she only nodded. “Gees, I’m surprised you guys can stand to be around me then.”
“Oh, don’t kid yourself, Mags. It’s tough at times, but we love you and we wouldn’t trade you. I have to say, though, I’m with Genna on this one. It is definitely a good thing and it’s about time. I was worried you were going to end up some old maid or something. Now, since I know Genna will never bring herself to ask the question we both want to know, I’ll do it. How is he—you know, in bed?”
They both saw how well that went over, but they didn’t care. My friends might have been blindsided by me, but they were having a field day with it all at my expense.
“I’m not answering that!” I all but yelled that at them only to have Serena laugh at my expression.
“That good, huh? Well that figures. You are so lucky.”
“Oh…I can’t wait to see what Grandma Sarah and Lee have to say about all of this?” Genna was so excited I think she was actually starting to plan my wedding.
“They’ve already met him.” I offered only to see just how well that little revelation went over.
“They’ve what?” Serena asked. “When?” She was on her feet and pacing around my small living room. “Okay, Mags, details, and now.”
“He came home with me a couple of weeks ago. Lee and Gran met him then.” I looked from one to the other before adding, “What’s the big deal?”