The Opposite of Wild

by Kylie Gilmore

  “He’s so beautiful,” she whispered, in awe of his tiny perfection. “I was supposed to fly out to meet him next weekend. But they’re here.” She stroked his tiny hand.

  “He’s my nephew too. Daisy said my brother is the father. I’m pretty sure she meant Trav.”

  “Wait, what?” Her voice rose in volume.

  Bryce stirred in Ryan’s arms. “Shhh…don’t wake him. His screams will make your eardrums bleed.”

  “Daisy said the father was a minor league baseball player,” she said with growing alarm.

  “Nope. He’s a landscape architect.”

  “Omigod. She lied and took the baby away from his father.”

  “Well, she’s home now.”

  “Omigod,” Liz repeated. “Did Daisy say when she was coming back to get the baby?” If she comes back. Dear Lord, please make her come back. She can’t run from her own child.

  “No, but she only left a couple hours ago at most. How long could it take to tell someone they’re a dad? They’re probably on their way back here.”

  Liz wasn’t so sure. “Did she leave diapers? Milk? Anything?”

  “I found some bottles in the fridge, and there’s a diaper bag.”

  Liz ran to the fridge to check. Two bottles. She started a list: bottles, formula, sterilizer, diapers, a crib. Maybe she could buy the stuff while Ryan stayed with the baby. She grabbed her cell and called Daisy. No answer.

  This was not good.

  She went back to the living room with her list.

  “I’m going to check on Trav,” Ryan said.

  “Oh! You’re leaving me alone with him?” For all the books Liz had read about baby care, being alone with the baby was terrifying.

  “Here,” he said, slowly rising from the sofa and transferring the warm baby to her arms. Bryce’s head leaned against her chest, and he let out a little baby sigh. “I’ll see ya.” He kissed her on the cheek and left.

  She lowered to the sofa, careful not to jostle the baby in her arms. He looked like a sleeping angel, smelled so fresh and new, felt like the sweetest, warmest weight in the world. She stroked his hand, his skin so soft.

  The possibility of having what she’d always wanted was all right here, right now, staring her down. She didn’t know if Daisy would come back. She could be on a plane to New Mexico right now. She’d been prepared to be a doting aunt, not a single mother.

  The weight of the infant grew heavier in her arms as time ticked slowly by.

  ~ ~ ~

  Ryan found Trav at Garner’s Sports Bar & Grill, sitting at the bar. Only a few guys sat at the other end of the bar, watching a soccer match on TV. It was still too early for the after-dinner crowd. A nearly empty mug of beer sat in front of Trav. If ever a man needed a drink, it was staring down fatherhood for the first time. Ryan should know, he’d been damn close to it himself.

  He took the stool next to his brother. “Trav.”

  Trav didn’t respond, merely stared into his beer.

  “How many have you had?”

  No response.

  Ryan poked him.

  “Just this one.” Trav finished it and gestured for another.

  “Let’s eat,” Ryan said, waving the bartender away. “I’m getting us a table.”

  A few minutes later, he’d maneuvered his brother into a private back booth. He ordered Trav’s favorite, a basket of cheese fries, and switched him to Coke.

  Ryan had no idea what to say to his brother, but he didn’t want him drinking himself under the table, so he stayed. Trav dropped his head in his hands.

  The waitress left the Coke and some water and quietly stepped away.

  Trav lifted his head. “She’s had nine months to tell me; then she just shows up and says he’s mine.”

  “Is he yours?”

  Trav tapped his straw on the table to remove the wrapper and drank some Coke. “She says it’s me. We hooked up one night after too many shots at this very bar. The night Sherri dumped me. Daisy was home for Thanksgiving. We talked about our exes. We drank, we got happy, same old story.”

  Ryan lowered his voice. “Didn’t you use protection?”

  Trav raised his palms. “She said she was on the pill.”

  He barely resisted smacking his brother upside the head. He’d taught both his brothers to use a condom every time no matter what their girlfriend said, but obviously he didn’t have the high horse on this one. He’d screwed it up too.

  “When I saw her back in town,” Trav said, “huge as a house, I asked her if it was me. And you know what she said?”

  He shook his head.

  “Said it was some guy on the Norwalk Tigers.” He shrugged. “I believed her.”

  “That’s why you were suddenly interested in minor league ball!”

  Trav nodded.

  Ryan considered this. “How do you know she’s telling the truth now?”

  “She was sobbing when she told me, said she didn’t want me to feel obligated.”

  Ryan arched a brow.

  The cheese fries arrived. They’d eaten half the basket when Trav said around a mouthful of fries, “Daisy said she won’t marry me.”

  Ryan froze, fry halfway to his mouth, and stared at his brother. “You asked her to marry you?”

  “What was I supposed to do? You get someone pregnant, you marry them.”

  “No, dummy, you’re just piling one mistake on top of another. Believe me, a bad marriage doesn’t do the kids any favors. You should see my clients.”

  Trav pushed the basket of fries away. “What am I supposed to do?”

  He picked up a fry and pointed it at him. “First, you’re going to get a paternity test; then if he’s yours, you’re going to step up and give her child support.”

  Trav gripped his hair in his hands and pulled. “Okay.”

  “You’re gonna be all right, Trav.”

  His brother raised his brows, his expression hopeful. “How do you know?”

  “Because I know you, and I’ve got your back.” He raised his fist for a fist bump.

  Trav exhaled sharply and fist-bumped him. “I’m supposed to meet him tomorrow. His name is Bryce.”

  “I know,” Ryan said. “I met him. The lungs on that kid. He’s strong.”

  Trav’s eyes went wide. “You met him?”

  “Yeah, I stopped by to see Liz. Daisy handed him over while she went to tell you about him.”

  “What’s he like?”

  Ryan shrugged. “He’s like a baby. I don’t know. Cute, you know. Cries, sleeps. He took a nap on me.”

  Trav shook his head. “I can’t believe you met him before me.”

  “So you’ll meet him tomorrow. If he’s yours, you’ve got the rest of your life to get to know him.”

  Trav rubbed his temple, clearly overwhelmed.

  Ryan finished the fries and his water, and threw some bills on the table. “Let’s go.”

  Trav stood and walked zombielike for the exit. They headed down the sidewalk together in the late afternoon sunshine. The temperature had already started to cool, and a few trees sported yellow leaves announcing the upcoming fall. Trav’s house was across the street from Gran’s. They walked in silence.

  When they reached the house, Ryan stopped at the front sidewalk. “Good luck tomorrow. You’ll be fine. And get the test done on Monday.”

  Trav gave him a pained look. “Ry, I don’t think I’m cut out to be a dad. I didn’t exactly have the greatest example.”

  That pissed him off—the scars from the old man, no matter how much Ryan had tried to take his father’s place in his brothers’ lives.

  “You’re nothing like him,” Ryan said sharply. “You’d be a great dad.”

  “Okay, say he is mine.” Trav rubbed the back of his neck. “I was a bit of a troublemaker as a kid.”

  “A bit? If it wasn’t for Chief Bailey, you’d have been in juvie many times over.”

  Trav’s shoulders sagged. “I know. You and Bailey kept me out of the worst of it,
but what if Bryce is just like me?”

  Ryan grinned and crossed his arms. “Karma, baby.” At the look on his brother’s face, he added, “Look, you know what not to do, so you’ll be able to keep him out of trouble.”

  Trav groaned. “And Daisy was never much of a rule follower either.”

  “You two are in for a helluva ride.”

  “Will you come with me tomorrow to meet him?” Trav asked anxiously.

  “Hold on. I’ll see what they’re up to right now.” He pulled out his cell and dialed Liz.

  Trav grimaced.

  Liz answered on the first ring. “Hello?” she whispered.

  “Hey, it’s me. Is Bryce still sleeping?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, I’m bringing Trav by just to see him, but he’ll still come by tomorrow when he’s awake.” He turned to his brother. “Come on. Time to meet the baby.”

  They got into Trav’s car, and Ryan directed him to Liz’s place. When they got there, Ryan knocked softly so he wouldn’t wake the baby. Liz answered, still holding Bryce.

  “See?” Ryan told his brother. “He’s great.”

  Trav walked in and stared at the sleeping boy. “Where’s Daisy?”

  “She crashed at my parents’ place,” Liz said in a soft voice. “Apparently this little guy has been keeping her up every two hours. My mom said she’ll wake her and send her back here in a bit. Do you want to hold him?”

  Trav nodded and held out his arms at odd angles, rearranging them several times. “I’m not sure how to hold him.”

  “Like a sack of potatoes,” Ryan said as Liz transferred the baby to Trav, chest to chest, his head resting against Trav’s shoulder.

  The baby sighed and relaxed into Trav. Ryan exchanged a look with Liz. They were family now. Probably.

  Trav looked down at the baby. “Hello there, Bryce. This is your daddy.”

  Ryan found himself smiling. Liz smiled too, blinking back tears. And for the first time, Ryan wished he was the one saying those words to a little guy.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Shortly after Trav and Ryan left, Daisy and their mother arrived at Liz’s apartment.

  “Let me see this little sweetie,” her mother said.

  Liz handed him over, and her mother sang softly to him, swaying around the living room.

  “Hey, Liz, I’m back,” Daisy said. She tried to smile, but failed miserably. She looked terrible. Her hair was lank and greasy like she hadn’t washed it in days. Her forehead was broken out. Dark circles under her eyes. All traces of her usual sunny disposition gone. “Hope you don’t mind I used my key and let myself in.”

  “Are you okay?” Liz asked with alarm.

  “She’s fine, just a new mother,” their mother answered for her.

  Bryce woke up and immediately started howling.

  Daisy’s eyes flashed at her mother. “You woke him!”

  “He’s rooting,” their mother said. “I think he’s hungry.”

  “Here,” Daisy said, reaching for the baby. She settled on the sofa, lifted her stained T-shirt, and whipped out her breast. The baby immediately started sucking.

  “You learned how to do it,” Liz said in amazement.

  “Yeah, we got the hang of things. All he wants is boob, boob, boob.” Daisy leaned back and sighed. “The lady in the hospital helped us. I still express some milk because Mom was helping with nighttime feedings. Then she left.”

  Her mother leaned down and kissed Daisy’s cheek. “I’m glad you’re home. I’ll see you girls tomorrow. Stop by Garner’s for brunch.”

  “Okay, bye, Mom,” Liz said.

  After their mother left, Liz sat on the sofa with her sister. The baby sucked noisily, his little fist tangled in Daisy’s hair. It was so weird to see her sister nursing. She was happy to see it, though.

  “How are you, sis?” Liz asked.

  Daisy looked at her with droopy eyes. “I feel like shit. This baby is sucking the life out of me.”

  “Oh.” She paused, trying to think of something reassuring. “Maggie says things get better around three months.”

  “I don’t think I’m going to make it that long.”

  “I’ll help, and Mom will too.” Liz patted her shoulder. “You’ll make it.”

  “Ow!” Daisy stuck her finger in Bryce’s mouth, breaking the suction, and repositioned him on the breast. “Sometimes he gets off track.”

  Liz’s eyes widened at the size of Daisy’s nipple, so huge and distended. She crossed her arms over her own chest. “I’ll bring you some water.”

  “That would be great.”

  Liz returned a few moments later with two glasses of water and tried not to stare at the size of her sister’s breasts engorged with milk.

  Daisy took a sip of water, set it down, and leaned her head back, looking at the ceiling. “After Mom left, I was so alone—”

  Liz crinkled her brows in confusion. “That was only three days ago. I was flying out next week.”

  Her sister turned to look at her. “I know, but Meena didn’t want to help. Bryce was waking her up with all his crying. She asked me to find my own place. I needed help. I needed family. I needed you, Liz.”

  “I’m here. I’m always here for you.”

  “I know.” The baby came up for air, and she switched him to the other breast. He sucked eagerly again. “Bryce is up every two hours. I’m desperate for sleep. Will you take one feeding at night? If you take the two a.m., I can get four hours sleep. It’s still not enough, but at least I feel a little less like the walking dead.”

  “Sure, I can do that.”

  “Can we sleep on your bed? I don’t have a crib or anything. I only had a borrowed bassinet in New Mexico.”

  “That’s fine. We’ll get a crib tomorrow,” Liz said. “Everything will feel better in the morning.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Morning was a long way off. Liz felt like she’d just fallen asleep when she heard Bryce in full-throttle crying mode. She jackknifed off the sofa. Is it my turn for feeding? She grabbed her cell to check the time. Midnight. Not yet. A few minutes later, he was quiet. Daisy must be nursing him back to sleep.

  She tried to go back to sleep, but she kept worrying. What if she slept through the next feeding because she was too tired to hear it? She promised she’d let Daisy get some sleep. Tossing and turning, she could feel sleep getting further and further away from her. Finally, she heard his screaming cry again. She raced into the bedroom, scooped him up, and patted his back as they worked their way into the kitchen. He was still howling, but at least he was a little further away from Daisy’s ears.

  She ran the hot water in the sink, waiting for it to warm, bouncing her nephew, who had gone from a howl to an infuriated red-faced scream. Omigod, my ears. She ran the bottle under the hot water to warm it. She tested it on the inside of her wrist, still cold. Bouncing him in her arms, she chanted, “It’s okay, it’s okay.” It was taking forever for the bottle to warm.

  She shook the bottle and held it under the hot water, breaking out into a sweat as Bryce launched into another angry wail. She decided the bottle was warm enough. She carried him to the sofa, settled with him lying across a pillow in her lap, and gave him the bottle. He sucked furiously, his little red face still mottled and angry looking.

  That was round one.

  Three days later, Liz felt as bad as her sister looked. She woke every feeding whether it was her turn or not, impossible not to with the boy’s screaming. Sometimes he didn’t go right back to sleep either. Crying over gas that took forever to burp out of him. Sometimes he just spit up right along with the burp, making the feeding for nothing.

  He screamed the better part of every afternoon, needing to nap, yet struggling to sleep. Every time they tried to put him down, he screamed. He had to be held all the time. Liz was frazzled and exhausted. Daisy was frazzled and exhausted. Two adults giving constant care and the boy still wasn’t happy.

  The only time they got a break was when the
ir mother stopped by at noon with food from Garner’s. She seemed to have the magic touch with Bryce. She could sing and sway with him and he calmed immediately. No amount of singing and swaying from Liz and Daisy had the same results. During those magical times, Liz took a quick shower while Daisy ate lunch. Then Daisy showered while Liz ate. They did it all in silence, hoping Bryce would stay happy with his grandmother.

  Liz had to go back to work tomorrow. Then Daisy was on her own until the weekend. Of course, she’d still be up half the night with her nephew’s wailing.

  Motherhood was not pretty.

  ~ ~ ~

  Liz had gotten through her first day of school and was now slumped on the sofa, watching HGTV while Bryce napped in his crib in the bedroom. The couple on House Hunters was irritating the frick out of her. They thought they had problems choosing the perfect house. Ha! Just wait until they had kids. That’s when the real problems began.

  She picked up the remote to change the channel when the doorbell rang. She raced to answer it before the sound could wake the baby. It was Rachel. Liz hadn’t seen her since Bryce and Daisy’s arrival four days ago. Unusual for them.

  “Rachel, hi, keep your voice down. My mother got Bryce to sleep. You do not want to hear him when he wakes from his nap too early.”

  “Okay,” Rachel whispered. “I brought him a present.” She found Daisy in the kitchen and handed her the gift bag.

  Daisy had been staring off into space, munching on grilled cheese. She looked surprised to see Rachel standing there. “Thanks, hon.” She pulled out a bright yellow onesie with daisies embroidered on it. “It’s adorable.”

  Rachel smiled. “Glad you like it. Can I see him?”

  “Sure, as long as you’re in absolute stealth mode,” Daisy said.

  “I’ll be like a ninja,” Rachel said, doing a little karate hand action.

  Liz walked with Rachel, carefully opening the bedroom door so it didn’t squeak on its hinges. Rachel tiptoed to the crib and stared down at the baby. “He looks like an angel!”

  Liz shushed her and pulled her from the room, quietly shutting the door behind them. “You could’ve woken him up. He can’t wake up early! We need this quiet time to have the energy to get through the night.” She shoved a stray hair out of her face.