by A. R. Wise
“That’s not funny,” she said, deathly serious. “When Dad got sick he was fine one day, and then it seemed like he was gone the next. He never told us he was in pain because he didn’t want anyone to worry. I never learned about what he was going through until it was almost over. Don’t you go do that to me, David. I’m not going to go through that again.”
He chuckled and then put his forehead against hers. “Don’t get upset before there’s something to actually be upset about.”
“I’m not upset.”
“Yes you are.”
“No, I’m not,” said Laura. “I’m just worried. How do they feel? Do they still hurt?”
“Yes, sort of.” He adjusted the crotch of his sweat pants. “More of an ache than a hurt.”
“Why are you telling me now?” asked Laura. “If you lied about the test, why tell me before you got the results?”
“I didn’t want you to worry, but I’ve never lied to you about something like that before. I felt bad about it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I lie to you all the time about all the bisexual college chicks I meet up with after you go to bed at night, but I’ve never lied to you about something important.”
“Hardy har,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m sure we’re worrying about nothing. I’m sure you’re fine. I just hate the waiting. When did you say they would get the results?”
“He said the lab would take two or three days. They’re supposed to call with the results as soon as they get them.”
“Are you going to call off work?” asked Laura.
David laughed as if the question was ridiculous, but then saw that she was serious. “No, of course not. Are you kidding? We’re only thirty percent to goal this month. I think if I went in there with elephantiasis of the nutsack Jerry would still make me put in a half day.”
Laura groaned. “I wish you’d quit that job. You don’t need that much stress.”
“I don’t think that’s an option, babe. Especially not since I plan on putting like five more babies in you before they snip my diseased balls off.”
“That’s gross.”
“Are you going to be okay with having a no-ball, cancer victim for a husband?”
“Stop it, that’s not funny.”
“Maybe I can get ball implants,” said David, enjoying Laura’s displeasure. “Do they make those? Maybe they make ones with weird shapes, like little hands so it’ll be like my balls are slapping your butt every time we…”
“Oh my God, Dave!” She finally laughed, which had been his goal all along. “You are disgusting.”
“You’re the one that married me.”
She squeezed his hand. “Promise me you’ll be okay. I love our little family. I don’t know what I’d do without all of you in my life.”
* * *
August 24th, 20 years after the apocalypse
Laura is preparing for an evacuation from the church.
“Laura,” said Zack as he followed behind the determined captain. “Wait.”
“We don’t have time.” Laura tried to avoid looking at him as she made her way through the people in the church. She was headed back to the entrance to check on how Billy was doing with getting the caravan ready to move out.
Zack grabbed Laura by the crook of her arm and pulled her to a stop. “Stop, for crying out loud.”
She spun, furious and ready to berate him. His kind, concerned face, all but hidden behind his beard and dirt caked cheeks, erased her fury. She gasped, and put her hand over her mouth as the emotions that she’d been trying to hide threatened to burst forth. He recognized the breakdown that she was trying to stave off and reached out to take her by the waist. He was going to swoop her into his arms and carry her into another part of the church where she could release the pent up agony that she was suffering.
Laura pushed him away, but he persisted in his attempt to pick her up. She clawed at his chest and then gripped a tuft of hair that was poking out from the top of his shirt. She tugged and he groaned before he stopped trying to lift her.
“Stop,” said Laura as she twisted at the hair on his chest. He recoiled, his expression revealing both his physical and emotional pain. She seethed as she whispered to him, “I have to be strong. Don’t you see that? These people need me. They need me to keep it together.” A tear fell from her eye and she quickly swiped it away. She let go of his chest and pushed him back a step.
“You can’t do this on your own.”
“Yes I can.”
“No, babe, you can’t,” said Zack. “I’m not trying to force myself on you here or nothing. Okay? You’ve been pretty damn clear that you’re only interested in me as a friend, but right now a friend is what you need most. I’m not going to stand here and let you take on a burden like this. You need to deal with what just happened out there.”
“God damn it,” said Laura, her voice loud enough to silence the others nearby. “Get in there!” She pointed to the door that led to the second floor, where David had gone when he climbed up to be with Annie in the steeple. “We’ll discuss this in private.”
He tightened his jaw and glanced around at the others who were staring at them. Zack walked to the room and went in, followed by Laura before she slammed the door behind her. They were on stairs and Laura moved up a couple steps so that she was standing face to face with him.
Laura slapped Zack, connecting hard enough that the sound echoed through the dark room. Then she took the back of his head and pulled him to her so that she could kiss him. The shock caused Zack to stagger back, and his foot slipped off the step which pulled him away from her kiss. Now she stood above him with moonlight streaming in from the shattered steeple above.
“I’m going to die,” said Laura.
Zack was baffled. “What?” It was the only thing he could think to say.
“I’m dying. Okay? I’ve known it for a while now. That’s one of the reasons I never wanted to…” She turned away and put her hand over her eyes as she massaged them. “I never wanted anyone to…” She sobbed and then her sorrow shifted to anger. She lashed out and punched the wall as she screamed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” She punched the wall over and over until Zack grabbed her by the arm.
“Laura, stop.”
“I lost my baby. Kim’s dead. My baby girl’s dead. She’s fucking dead, and now Annie’s in there bleeding to death too. She’s going to die, and all I’ve got is the fucking hope that maybe I’ll see my girls again in heaven. Maybe, but who the fuck knows! Who knows, Zack? I might never see them again.”
He took her into his arms, and she couldn’t resist. Her legs gave out and she let him support her full weight as she shook. “I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you.”
“Damn it.” She pounded her fist on his chest, hard at first but then lighter with each successive strike. “Damn you, Zack. I don’t need to be in here. They need me out there, but I just want to stay here with you. Oh Christ, I’ve never hurt like this before. I feel like someone reached inside and just pulled my heart out. I feel like I want to die. I just want to die so bad.”
“Stop it, Laura. Why do you keep saying that you’re dying? What are you talking about?”
“It’s the truth. The only person that knows is Clyde. I never told anyone else because I didn’t want the girls to know. I didn’t want them to worry.”
“Worry about what? How do you know you’re dying?”
“I’ve got colon cancer.”
Zack was stunned into silence for a moment. “How do you know?”
“My dad died of colon cancer. I got pretty familiar with the symptoms. I’ve been hiding it for a long time, but it got bad enough that I had to tell Clyde. He’s been a big help through it all, but he’s terrified of what’s going to happen when I get sick enough for other people to notice. That’s why he’s been so insistent about splitting up the Rollers. He doesn’t want Billy to get control again.”
“You look healthy as a horse,” said Zack. “Are you sure you’re not wrong about t
his?”
“Positive. When you’re bleeding out the ass it’s pretty much just between you and the toilet. I’ve had stomach problems for years, but over the past few months it became pretty clear what was going on.”
“I don’t know what to say,” said Zack.
“This is why you need to stop going after me and find a cute girl to grow old with.”
Zack shook his head. “Oh, didn’t I tell you? I already found a great girl.” He sounded flippant.
“Oh yeah?” asked Laura, happy to be talking about something other than the subjects that weighed on her mind. She sensed that he was joking, but went along anyhow. “Who’s the lucky lady?”
“You already know her. She can be pretty bitchy sometimes, and is liable to pull out your chest hair from time to time when she’s pissed.”
Laura smiled and looked down. Zack stepped closer and put his arm around her waist. “But I know she’s the only one that I want to be with. You want to know how?”
“How?”
“Because she kissed me once, and it was the best moment of my whole life.”
They kissed again and then Zack took her head in his hands and looked into her tear filled eyes. “Now you get out there and be with Annie. Remind her that she comes from a family of fighters, and that no amount of bumps, bruises, or cancer is going to do her, or you, in. Got it?”
“What about the evacuation? I need to help with…”
“No. You need to be with Annie. Let me take care of everything else. Okay, Captain.”
She nodded, her tears slick between her cheeks and his big palms. “Thank you.”
He was about to open the door for her when he saw a glint of metal in the debris on the stairs above them. “Hold up,” he said as he walked past her. “Well look what we’ve got here.”
“David’s crutch,” said Laura as she smiled. “He was worried that he’d lost it.”
“I’ll let his Nana give it to him,” said Zack as he handed the crutch to Laura before they left the stairwell.
Chapter Twelve – A Fighter’s Recompense
Seven months after the apocalypse
Billy is keeping a lookout as Reagan and Hero search the facility.
Billy saw the headlights from his vantage in the apartment. There were three vehicles crossing the bridge a few blocks away, headed to the building that Reagan and Hero were inspecting.
“Clyde, we’ve got trouble.”
“What’s wrong?” asked Clyde as he took the binoculars from Billy to look out at the street below.
“There,” Billy pointed to the vehicles. “It looks like they’re headed for the base.”
“Shit, they look like Humvees.”
“Military?” asked Billy.
“I’d bet.”
“We’ve got to get down there,” said Billy.
“Yeah, let’s go.” Clyde looked at the two young black boys that he’d brought up when he came back. “You guys stay here. If something goes wrong, just stay here and stay quiet. Understood?”
They nodded, frightened and silent.
“Grab Hero’s bag,” said Billy.
Clyde looked down at the duffle bag filled with pipe bombs. “What for?”
“What do you mean what for?” asked Billy. “We’re going to have to blow these fuckers to hell and back if we’re going to get our buds out alive.”
Clyde gulped and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He was wide eyed as he shook his head. “I hate this shit. I was meant to put people back together again, not blow them apart.”
“Putting them back together is the tough part,” said Billy. “Blowing them to bits is easy.”
They headed out of the apartment, into the black hallway. “Maybe for you.”
“Trick is to just not think about it,” said Billy.
They made their way down the stairs, running their hands along the walls to make sure they knew where they were going in the dark. Only a few beams of moonlight made it into the dark hall through cracks in the wall.
“How can you not think about it?” asked Clyde.
“What’s there to think about?” asked Billy. “These are the fuckers responsible for the apocalypse. They deserve a few bombs up their asses.”
Billy felt the corner of the wall that led to the staircase and rounded it slowly. Clyde bumped into him from behind and apologized as they continued on, nearly blind.
“Don’t tell me you feel sorry killing these fuckers,” said Billy.
Clyde staggered on the steps and fell into the back of Billy, nearly toppling them both over. “Fuck,” said Clyde. “Sorry, man. I can’t see a damn thing in here.”
“Just keep your hand on my shoulder,” said Billy. “I know the way.”
They made their way through another hall. “This isn’t the way I came up,” said Clyde.
“This way’s quicker,” said Billy. “So, do you feel sorry for these guys?”
“Who? The soldiers we’re planning on blowing up?”
“Yeah,” said Billy.
“Well, sure, I guess so. Shouldn’t I? They’re human beings after all.”
“Barely,” said Billy. “Just think of them as zombies then. Fuck these guys. They’ve got it coming.”
Clyde was quiet for a moment, then sounded annoyed. “But they’re not zombies, man. They’re probably just kids our age. They might not even know why all this went down. I didn’t know anything.”
They were nearing an exit and it was bright enough that Clyde was able to see. He didn’t need to hold onto Billy’s shoulder anymore.
Billy stopped and turned to stare at Clyde. “Do I need to do this alone?”
“What?” asked Clyde. “No. Why?”
“You’re talking like you’re not willing to do what needs to be done here. Our friends just walked into a trap out there, and they need us to get them out of it. If that means killing a couple fuckers that deserve to be killed, then so be it.”
“I’m fine,” said Clyde. “I’ll do what we have to do. I just think it’s worth remembering that these are human beings we’re slaughtering, and not zombies.”
Billy turned and walked to the entrance. He pointed to the other side of the hall where he expected Clyde to move. “Whatever, man. Just don’t get in the way.”
* * *
August 24th, 20 years after the apocalypse
Billy is outside of the church, heading up the impending evacuation.
Billy saw Kayla walk around the side of the church. He was outside instructing the Rollers to start detaching the barricades so the caravan could move out. “Kayla, I need your help.”
She looked dazed, and moved slowly. At first glance, he hadn’t noticed the blood that covered her shirt. She put her hand against the side of one of the tankers to steady herself. Kayla was middle-aged, with dark black hair and a lithe build. She was one of the lieutenants that pushed for the Rollers to set up a colony, and was constantly at odds with Billy. He still respected her, however, and was stunned when he saw that she was hurt.
“What happened?” He tried to rush to her aid, but his back was already in pain and he had to support himself against one of the trucks. “Someone help Kayla!”
“I’m okay,” she said and continued to walk toward Billy. “This isn’t my blood.” Her eyes were filled with tears, but she wiped them away, smearing blood on her cheek.
“What happened?” asked Billy as Kayla got closer.
“It’s Dustin,” she said. “He got hit when the helicopter was shooting at us. He was hit in the head. Billy, Dustin’s dead.”
“Oh God,” said Billy. Dustin was another lieutenant of the Rollers, and was Arthur’s partner.
Kayla stood before Billy, soaked in Dustin’s blood, and put her hand on his shoulder. “I’ll fight.”
“What?” asked Billy, confused by what she’d said.
“I’ll fight with you. I know we’ve been pushing for a colony, but now I can see that’s never going to happen. You were right
. We were wrong. You should be the captain again. I’ll support you.” Her words were stilted as she tried not to weep. “And after what happened to Kim, I don’t think Laura’s up for the job anymore.”
“You’re wrong,” said Billy. “I think Laura’s the only person that can lead us out of this mess.”
Kayla was caught off guard by what Billy had said and looked up at him in confusion.
“We didn’t get attacked because Laura stopped us from attacking the bases,” said Billy. “I know, because we never actually stopped.”
“I don’t understand,” said Kayla.
Billy was ashamed, but knew he had to admit what he’d done. He owed it to Laura to let the others know that the recent attacks weren’t her fault. “A group of us decided to ignore her orders. We’ve been working with members of The Department to keep putting pressure on the…”
“Are you serious?” asked Kayla. She took a step back from Billy, as if suddenly both afraid and disgusted by him.
“Yes,” said Billy.
One of the nearby trucks started. Its frame rattled, interrupting Kayla before she could respond. Then the horde outside of their camp responded to the truck, bellowing as if purposefully trying to end the conversation.
“I’m sorry,” said Billy.
Kayla stared at him, her eyes revealing a mix of disappointment and anger. She seemed ready to say something, but then shook her head and took another step back.
“Kayla, I’m sorry.” He tried to reach out to her, but she pulled her hand away. He stumbled but was able to catch his balance with his crutch. “I’m sorry.”
“What happened to you?” she asked. “You weren’t always like this.”
“I’ve never wanted anything but to keep the Rollers safe,” said Billy.
“Bullshit,” said Kayla. “All you ever wanted was revenge. That’s all it’s ever been about for you. That’s why you kept going back to Nederland after what happened there. That’s why you’ve never been able to forget Reagan. You’re fed by hate, and revenge. It’s warped you into a fucking monster.”
“Kayla wait,” said Billy. “Laura’s got my full support now. I promise.”