by Ali Parker
Only I knew she wasn’t asking like that. She was genuinely curious. I remembered our conversation from the previous night about how it must get lonely. I shrugged.
“Ted should be back any day. And Mama and Daddy aren’t going to travel around forever. Just until they decide that they’ve seen enough weird attractions, I guess.” I grinned. “They’re up in Canada right now, apparently, and they went to see the world’s largest penny or something like that. They sent me a postcard."
Brea laughed and shook her head. “People are crazy,” she said.
“Especially you?” I teased, laughing as she stuck her tongue out at me. “Anyway, as much as I miss having them around, I have to admit that there are some perks to living on my own,” I mused. “I like being able to cook my own food, for one. And set my own schedule, more or less.”
“Yeah, I totally understand that,” Brea said. “That was kind of the same way I felt when I moved out of my dad’s house. I didn’t even do it because of the freedom; I did it because living in town put me closer to work. It’s not as close to the bars, but close enough that I wouldn’t have to call a taxi to bring me home on nights like last night.”
I snorted. “I don’t make a habit of drinking like that at Kinsey’s Bar,” I said.
Brea grinned. “I don’t know, I think the night ended up pretty good, drinking included. Or it did for me, anyway.”
I laughed and shook my head. “Yeah, no complaints here,” I said, glad that we seemed to be on the same page about all of this. Maybe we weren’t just sleeping together. We both seemed to be admitting to something more.
I liked having her here in the house with me. She filled up the spaces that had been empty since everyone left. She made the place feel alive again, somehow. To be honest, I didn’t want her to leave. Even though I expected that she would probably have to.
“So do you work on the weekends?” I asked.
“Not usually,” Brea said. “We will if someone specifically requests that and they can’t reschedule for any other day. And every once in a while, we’ll hold one of the obedience classes on, say, a Sunday afternoon. And if we have any dogs in the kennel, then obviously someone has to go over and feed and exercise them, play a little. I never mind that though. Most weekends are free.” She paused. “Don’t get me wrong, I love working with dogs, but sometimes it’s nice to take that little two-day break.”
“I feel like that about the horses,” I admitted. “I love being around them, and I grew up around them and don’t know anything else, but sometimes I just need a break.” I shrugged. “That’s been one of the nice things about being the one drawing up the schedule. I kind of get first pick of all the jobs. Not that I can avoid stable duty forever, but I’d much rather be out building fences and chicken coops most days, and the guys don’t mind if that’s what I put myself down for.”
“Ugh, I wish I had that kind of flexibility when it comes to my dad’s farm,” Brea said, rolling her eyes. “Instead, at this point, it’s usually about going around, finding whatever tasks he hasn’t gotten around to yet, and getting things done. And usually the tasks he hasn’t gotten around to are the worst ones. He’s at least got some of his students in charge of getting the stables mucked out, but there are plenty of other things around the ranch that I hate doing.”
“Are you over there a lot?” I asked curiously.
“Quite a bit,” Brea said, nodding. “At least once every other week, usually more than that.” She glanced at her watch. “Actually, that’s where I’ll be headed today when I leave here. I want to check in on him. He wasn’t feeling good earlier this week, and even though I think the worst of it’s over by now, I just want to make sure he’s doing okay. You know how sicknesses tend to go in old people, they get past one, and then because of their weakened immune system, they end up with a different thing a couple of days later.”
“That’s good of you to go over there and check on him,” I said, even though inside I was already sighing at the fact that I was going to lose her so soon. But maybe I could get her to come back. “If you want, you could come over again for dinner,” I suggested. “We can put on a movie or something.”
“Or something?” Brea asked, waggling her eyebrows.
I snorted at the absurdity of the action. “Or something,” I agreed. We both knew what kind of something we were talking about here.
“I wish I could, but I’ll probably do dinner with my dad tonight, and then I’ll probably head home. I’m pretty worn out still. You got me good.”
I grinned at her. “Yeah, I thought I might have,” I said teasingly. “Took you all of two minutes to fall fast asleep.” Brea grinned. “You’re welcome any time, though,” I told her, surprising myself with the words. I was pretty much asking her to stay with me, wasn’t I? I wondered what she would think of that.
She was still smiling, though, so I took that to be a good sign. “Thanks for making me breakfast,” she said, bringing the plates over to the sink and starting to wash them. I was tempted to grab her again, to see if I could drag her back off to bed, at least for a little while. But it was already getting later in the day and I had chores to do around the farm. It was the weekend, so there was nothing too pressing to do, but since I had taken off the previous day, there was definitely plenty to oversee.
“Thanks for last night,” I said.
She dried off her hands and I gave her a hug. We shared one last, chaste kiss, and then she bounced out the door and down to her car. I waved, but she didn’t look back.
20
Brea
I was smiling from ear to ear as I left Luke’s house. I couldn’t seem to help it; I’d been smiling since I’d woken up that morning.
And hadn’t that been nice? I was still curled up in Luke’s arms, and even though he’d been awake before me, he’d made no move to disentangle himself. He was as comfortable there as I was. And that made me happier than I might have thought it would.
The truth was, I was starting to fall for him. He wasn’t so bad, once you got past that tough exterior. And the more I learned about him, the more I understood why that tough exterior was there. He was just trying to protect himself. His whole family had packed up and left, pretty much, and he was lonely. He just wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to let in someone else who was going to rip his heart out.
I respected that.
He was a good guy, deep down. Hardworking and dependable. He really cared about both his family and his family’s farm. He might not have a total grasp on how to run things yet, but I could tell that even in the two short weeks that I’d been working with Duck, he’d learned a lot and grown considerably.
But I couldn’t tell what, exactly, he thought we were doing. It didn’t seem like we were just fucking anymore, but I didn’t know when we had crossed that line.
Parking outside Dad’s house, I headed inside. “Dad?” I called when I got there.
“In my study!” he called back.
Heading in there, sure enough, there he was. There was a stack of books on his desk, and he had his old typewriter out as well. I raised an eyebrow at him. “The computer wasn’t good enough for you?” I asked.
Dad smiled. “I write all my correspondence on here still,” he said. “I thought you knew that.”
I vaguely remembered Mom going on a quest, one year, to find more ink for that old thing, but that was about all I could remember about the typewriter. Still, I was glad to see Dad looking so well.
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
Dad rolled his eyes. “Are you here to badger me again?” he sighed.
“I just wanted to check on you,” I said, defensively. “Just to make sure that everything was still okay.”
“I’m even more mobile now than I was the last time you checked on me,” Dad said. “I think that says something.”
“Did you go see a doctor yet, just to make sure that everything is really okay?” I asked. I’d been pressing all week for him to see a doctor,
but he continued to refuse.
Sure enough, he made a noise of disgust. “I don’t need to see a doctor, not for some little fever,” he said. “I’m feeling a thousand times better now. Fully healed. No sense troubling the doctor with that.”
“But what if it was just the symptoms of something more major?” I asked.
“You worry too much,” Dad said, shaking his head. He gave me a hug, and I tried not to compare this hug to previous ones he’d given me, but I had a hard time doing that. Did he feel weaker? More frail? Thinner?
“Have you eaten yet today?” I asked him.
“Yes, yes,” Dad said, waving his hand in the air. “I do know how to take care of myself, sweetheart. I’ve been doing it for a number of years now.”
“I know,” I sighed. I still wished he would go see a doctor, but short of physically dragging him out to the car and bringing him to the hospital; or else dragging a doctor here for a house call, there wasn’t much I could do. It was Dad’s life, and he was going to live it the way he wanted to. It had always been that way. “I really wish you would see a doctor.” Maybe if I said it enough times, he would listen to me one day.
“It’s nothing to worry about,” Dad said firmly.
And I had to admit, he did look a lot better. Maybe still a little pale and gaunt, but there was more life to his eyes, and he was up and doing things rather than just staring off into space like he had been that first day when I’d found him. I had to hope that he knew what he was talking about and that he would know if his body was having more serious problems.
“How was your week?” Dad asked after a moment.
A subject change, of course, but I was happy to tell him about things. “It’s been really good,” I said. “We took Duck hunting yesterday, and she actually retrieved one of the ducks that Luke got!”
“That’s wonderful,” Dad said warmly. “You’ve only been working with her for a couple of weeks, too, haven’t you?”
“Yeah, just a couple weeks,” I confirmed. “She’s been learning really fast.”
“And Luke still isn’t pushing you too hard?” Dad asked suspiciously.
“No, he’s been really good, actually,” I told him. “In fact, last night he took me out to dinner to celebrate everything that I’d managed to teach Duck so far. It was nice.”
“Dinner?” Dad asked in surprise. “Just the two of you?” His eyes narrowed. “Was it a date?”
“It was just the two of us, but I don’t know if it was meant to be a date or not,” I said. “Like I told you, it was mostly to celebrate everything that I’ve managed to teach Duck. He really appreciates all the training that I’ve done.” I paused. “But Dad, I know you said to be careful, and I am. I’m really starting to like him, though.”
Dad stared at me for a long moment, and I could see the tension in his face. A darkness in his eyes that matched the darkness in his voice when he spoke next. “You need to stay away from that boy. And that family.”
“What?” I asked in surprise. “Dad, I just told you, he’s been nothing but good to me, at least since when we first met.”
“What did he do when you first met?” Dad asked sharply, and I winced, remembering that I hadn’t told him that we had basically bet on my ability to keep training Duck.
“It was nothing,” I said. “He just wasn’t very happy to have me there. He thought that he could train her all on his own.”
Dad looked like he wanted to march right over to the Dawson family farm and attack Luke just for that. As though my honor was at stake or something.
“Dad, it’s all fine now,” I insisted. “Like I said, last night he took me out to dinner. I like spending time with him.” I smiled, “I think you’d like him, too. He’s a good guy, once you get to know him. A little aloof at first, but once you get past that, he’s sweet. He’s got good values, like family, hard work, and respect. All the same principles that you raised me on.”
I don’t know why, I just felt like if Dad could see him as more similar to me than anything else, hopefully, he’d forget whatever this strange grudge was about.
Maybe he was just afraid that he was going to lose me for good. That I was going to run off and start a family with Luke and forget all about him or something. That was never going to happen, though. I could never forget about Dad, no matter how involved I was with someone else.
“You stay away from him, do you hear me?” Dad asked, pointing a finger at me. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself mixed up in.”
“Then why don’t you tell me, rather than just telling me to stay away from him,” I suggested, unable to keep myself from rolling my eyes.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Dad snapped. “I warned you not to get involved with him. And I’m warning you again.”
I shook my head in disbelief. If he could have given me one good reason not to see Luke, that would have been one thing. But these silly warnings to stay away from Luke and his whole family? Dad didn’t even know them. Or at least, he had told me that he didn’t. And Dad and I never lied to one another.
That I knew of, anyway.
I frowned, trying to puzzle it out. But I didn’t have enough of the pieces. Yet. Maybe it’s time I start doing some serious digging of my own.
It looked like I wasn’t going to get any answers from Dad, though.
The real trouble was, I wasn’t sure that I could keep myself away from Luke. I was still working with Duck, first of all. And second of all, I had been trying to keep my hands off of him, and look where that had gotten me. Absolutely nowhere. I’d ended up in his bed twice already, and now I had an open invitation to come and stay with him.
I was sorely tempted, even, to drive right back over there when I was done here. Maybe if Dad wouldn’t give me any of the answers, Luke would. Maybe he knew something that he was hiding, and maybe that was why he had been so rude to me that first day? It could all make sense.
But I didn’t have the first clue as to what the big secret was.
I shook my head and stood up. “I’m going to go check out the stables and make sure everything’s looking good over there,” I told Dad. It was still early in the day, so if there was work to be done, I had plenty of time to do it. And I was sure that there was work to be done.
“Everything’s fine,” Dad snapped. “I told you, I can take care of things here. And for everything that I can no longer do on my own, I have hands to help out. I don’t need you to double-check things. I gave you the opportunity to come back here, and you didn’t want to. If you’re not going to be here for the farm all the time, then I don’t need you here for the farm at all.”
I flinched back, feeling wounded. Dad had never used that tone with me before. And I was just trying to help.
For a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of guilt on Dad’s face, but then he turned away so that I couldn’t see his expression anymore. “Actually, I really need to rest. I think I’m going to bed.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. Maybe he wasn’t doing as well as he wanted me to believe. Maybe I really would have to bring in a doctor.
“It’s not because I’m sick,” Dad said. “I’m just older, and I don’t sleep as well as I used to. I’ve started taking naps lately.”
I didn’t want to point out that it was still pretty early in the day for a nap. Instead, I just nodded. “Okay,” I said softly. “Why don’t I hang out, though? I’ll make us both dinner tonight.”
“I’m sure you have other things to do today than babysit your old man,” Dad said, and I couldn’t help feeling that there was a frosty note to his tone. Where was this coming from? Was he really that upset about this thing with Luke?
Why was he so upset though? And why wouldn’t he give me a straight answer?
As Dad headed upstairs, I headed home, the smile finally gone from my face. Now, I had to decide what to do. Did I listen to my father and avoid Luke forever, the man I was starting to have feelings for? Or did I disobey Dad and continue
to explore this thing with Luke?
I didn’t even know if I could disobey Dad at this point. We had been so close for so long that it didn’t even feel like that was an option. But despite the fledgling status of my relationship with Luke, losing him didn’t really feel like an option either.
I had no idea how to choose. If only I knew what Dad’s big secret was, maybe I could begin to understand.
21
Luke
When Monday morning rolled around, I was almost as excited as my pup. It was ridiculous since I had just seen Brea the previous day. We had woken up together and had such a great breakfast. But the thing was, I was really starting to like her. And waking up without her on Monday morning felt like a letdown.
She’d be there soon enough, I reminded myself. She had Duck’s training to continue.
I made coffee, pouring two mugs instead of just one. One for me, one for Brea when she got there. I waited out on the porch for her, with Duck sitting beside me on the porch swing. She wasn’t there at her normal time, though, and I nearly finished my mug of coffee waiting for her. I frowned, wondering where she could be. Of course, it wasn’t too unusual for her to be running late, but it was unusual for her to be running this late.
I went back inside and poured myself more coffee, even though I didn’t really need it. But it was something to do while I was waiting for her. It was starting to get to the point where I couldn’t wait around any longer, though. I had to get busy with my work on the farm, and I wanted to get an early start.
It had just been such a great weekend with her. I really wished she had been able to stay over the night before.
To be honest, it felt like things were moving a little too quickly between the two of us. We weren’t at the stage where we should be spending whole weekends together yet. Even Saturday had been a long day to spend with her. She had gotten to my place so early on Saturday morning, and then I’d ended up in her bed Saturday night, and then she had come back to my place for breakfast on Sunday. But I’d just wanted to prolong things. To keep them going.