by Wynne Roman
“Oh, baby.” I lean forward and take his face in my hands. “That’s never going to happen. The fact that you even tried is amazing.”
He turns his face so his lips can brush my palm. “Only you would say something like that.”
“Now, tell me.” I scoot around on the bed until I’m cross-legged, and Ajia’s sitting across from me, his feet flat on the floor. “I know you went to Austin, but I don’t know the rest.”
He drops his head forward, a habit I’ve noticed only when he talks about this. I reach for his jaw and turn his face until he looks at me.
“I had to see if I could make any kind of peace with it. I went to see…everybody.”
“Everybody?”
“My folks, Lara’s family, Mason, and Jill.” He wants to look away—his eyes dart from side to side—but he doesn’t.
“And how did it go?”
I ask the question as carefully as I can. Instinct tells me it went okay, because of the mostly-calm way Ajia is acting. I also know that he’s spent a long time hiding his feelings, which means it’s possible I have no clue what might be going on inside his head.
“It went…well. I told Mom and Dad and Lara’s family that I’d been carrying a lot of guilt over what happened, and I wanted to apologize for my part in everything.”
“You didn’t try to tell them the truth again?”
He shakes his head. “I was prepared to, but nobody seemed to want to hear it. My mom cried, and Lara’s dad told me that they’d been worried about her getting wild back then. Their word, not mine. They’d been afraid she was going to get into trouble with the car, and her blood alcohol level after the accident confirmed their worst fears.”
He lets out a deep sigh and his whiskey-colored eyes draw my gaze with their sad acceptance. “I was all ready to say something. To tell them the absolute truth, and then Lara’s mom told me that, while they’d always love her and never forget, it had been long enough that they’d reached a peace and acceptance of it. They wanted that for me, and they wanted me to let it go forever.”
“And so you did as they asked.”
One of his eyebrows shot up. “What was I going to say? Oh, and by the way, your daughter was wilder than you thought. She was trying to give me a blow-job when we crashed?”
He gives a hollow laugh. “It’s not fair, and it’s still fucking wrong of me to let a dead girl take the blame, but I finally got the idea that they don’t want to understand anything except exactly what they already know. They have an explanation that they’ve accepted, and that’s enough for them. Can I—should I—fuck with that for my own selfish reasons?”
“I told you.” I take Ajia’s hands between mine. “No matter who knows what, the facts are the same.”
“That doesn’t make it right.”
“So what are you going to do?”
Ajia turns his hands over so his fingers twine with mine. “I should talk to our lawyer. Tell him everything and ask him to look into it. But I seem to be the only one who wants that.”
“It could mean trouble.”
He shrugs. “It should mean trouble. I deserve it. But…”
“But, what?”
“I’m the only one who wants it. I can’t keep dragging these people through shit that they want to be done with.”
I can’t just let it go. “And…you’re okay with that?”
His gaze slid away and turned inward. I could see him thinking about the question. “Yeah. Or I will be. I made my apologies and asked for forgiveness. The rest will have to come when and how it needs to.”
“And what about Mason and Jill?”
Ajia smiles for real this time, and his fingers tighten around mine. “Jill was great. She’d just had a birthday, so we ate leftover cake. I talked with her parents about the accident, made the same apologies, but not to her. It upsets her.”
“And Mason?”
“I didn’t get to see him. He’s in rehab!”
“Oh, A, that’s great!” I can smile, too. “I’m so glad to hear it! I—”
Pounding on the door drowns out the rest of my words, and I swallow a curse. “Open up!” It’s Knox—and the others, I suppose.
Ajia pushes to his feet and lets them in. London enters first—because they’re Texas men, after all—and my brother follows right on her heels.
“You doing okay, baby girl?” Noah asks as he approaches the bed.
“Of course.” I nod and smile. “I didn’t get to tell y’all at the venue. It was a great show!”
He grins, grabs my hand, and pulls me around to sprawl next to him, leaning against the headboard. He’s got his arm around my shoulders, and he smirks at Ajia as though daring him to say anything. For a second, I almost expect A to take him up on it, but then he shrugs and circles the foot of the bed. Next thing I know, Ajia’s crawled up on the other side of me, and I’m crushed between the two of them.
“Well, look at this,” Noah laughs. “We got ourselves a Bree sandwich.”
“Different for you, huh?” I share his laugh.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re usually with two girls. I guess that makes you the meat in that sandwich.”
The instant it’s too late, I hear the suggestiveness in my words. Oh, Jesus!
I shoot a panicked gaze in Ajia’s direction, but he’s no help. He’s trying to keep a straight face—and failing miserably. I peek around the room. London’s sitting at the desk, Knox is perched on top of it, Rye’s settled into the room’s one comfy chair, and Zayne’s stretched out on the floor. Every one of them is trying not to laugh—except Knox, of course. He always looks vaguely pissed.
“Shut up, you fuckers,” I giggle and finally give in. They laugh with me, even London.
Knox’s expression doesn’t change, except to spread a dark, irritated gaze around the room. He finally drops it on Ajia. “Okay, Pipes,” he says. “You wanted a fucking band meeting. We’re here.”
I let out a soft sigh. It’s going to be such a fun meeting with Knox acting like an asshole, holding Ajia and me responsible for—whatever. No question that my brother’s been irritable as fuck since he found us together.
“I called the meeting,” says London smoothly without looking at Knox. “This kind of thing is my responsibility, and we need to talk about what’s going on and plan some strategies.”
Knox’s mouth tightens, but it’s Rye who asks, “Strategies about what?”
“Well, we have a couple of things to explain.” London touches the screen on her tablet. “First, we need to talk about Ajia’s unexpected trip to Austin.”
“It was personal,” I say, but he leans over and drops a quick kiss on my head.
“No, it’s not a secret. Not anymore.”
He gives an abbreviated explanation of his trip, including very minor details of the decade-old accident. London nods. “Any reason you had to go now, mid-tour?”
Ajia sits forward, grabbing my hand as he moves. I look down at where our fingers are entwined. I’ve never held hands so much in my life.
“Bree and I are together. It’s not a one-night stand, and we’re not fucking around.” He looks directly at Knox. “Our relationship isn’t open for discussion.”
I try to swallow around a pounding heart. What’s with Ajia tonight? He’s being so—direct about us. It’s like he really means to try with me. To make it…real.
“About fucking time,” says Noah from next to me. I glance at him with a crooked grin.
“What?” Zayne pops up from the floor and looks around like he just joined the human race. “You two are fucking?” He points at Ajia and me.
Knox’s jaw clenches, but it’s Ajia who answers. “Among other things.”
“Huh.” He shakes his head. “So she’s your…girlfriend?”
“Fuck,” says Rye. “You killed too many brain cells, Zayne. Ajia said they’re together.”
“Right.” Zayne nods. “Toge
ther—as in girlfriend.”
“Right,” agrees Ajia. I don’t miss the look the others exchange, and it’s got nothing to do with Ajia and me. It’s about Zayne. He’s still…off. Whatever’s going on, it’s not getting better. Something passes between London and Knox, a look that seems to say, we’re talking about this, but then it’s gone when Ajia continues.
“The truth is half-assed out there. At least the questions are. We haven’t confirmed or denied. Correct?” He looks at London.
“Correct. Although you gave a pretty good indication of how things are in the green room tonight.”
“What happened?” Knox demands.
“Fuck, Knox, you were there,” I snap. “Too interested in your groupies to notice anything else?” I scowl at him. “Ajia kissed me.”
“Is that all?” He frowns back.
“You should have been paying attention,” London says calmly. “In this case, it’s enough.”
“I was there,” snaps my brother.
London shakes her head. “Maybe physically. But your bloody attention wasn’t. A few too many groupies for you to concentrate?”
I blink and look between the two of them. Interesting shit, this. I’m the only one who pushes Knox about his shit. Other girls just want to suck his dick or… I shudder when I remember the fangirl who wanted him to spank her.
“Whatever,” says Ajia, and I let out a breath of relief. He relaxes back against the headboard and pulls me with him. “I missed my girl, and I wanted to say hi.”
London sighs with a nod. “And being a typical Texas man, you couldn’t wait. For anything. You had to go to Austin immediately, come back just in time for the concert, and then make out with Bree like you hadn’t seen her in a damn year.”
“Well, yeah.” He pretends he doesn’t get her sarcasm, but I know better. “Bree helped me see it’s time for me to find a way to put the accident shit behind me, so I took the first step.”
“All right.” London is so calm about everything. “Anything else I need to know?”
“Besides the fact that Knox is pissed Ajia and I are together?” I can’t help poking at my brother. He deserves it.
“Is that true?” She looks at Knox, but I answer.
“You tell me. He told me things about Ajia—about the accident—in the worst possible way, hoping it would end things. It didn’t, and he’s been pouting ever since.”
“I’m not pouting.” Knox’s look would incinerate a normal person, but I’ve seen it too many times.
“Oh, you’re pouting, man,” laughs Noah, but his hard expression surprises me. “It was a dick fucking move to say that shit to Bree, and now you’re twice as pissed. One cause they’re together at all—” he points to Ajia and me “—and two because you couldn’t break ‘em up.”
“Well, we aren’t going to share any of that,” says London quickly, giving Knox a serious frown that has to mean, shut up! “And in public, you’re going to act like it’s the best thing that’s happened all tour.”
“Fuck me.” My brother’s voice is cold enough to freeze the room. “Bree is my sister, and—”
“And she’s an adult,” London interrupts smoothly. “Unless you want fans to be worried about problems within the band, you’re going to act happy as fuck that your sister and your best friend are a couple. Got it?”
The room falls silent as she stares at Knox. Tension crackles between them, and I can’t help watching the interaction with surprised fascination, until finally Knox nods.
“Understood.”
“Good.” London lets the room go quiet for another moment and then asks again, “Anything else?”
I shake my head, and the guys do, too, while Knox pushes off the desk. “Mom’s divorcing Gabe.”
It’s like all the air is suddenly sucked out of the room. My heart pounds so hard I can’t breathe, and tears collect behind my eyelids. I try to swallow it all back, but it doesn’t seem to work all that well.
Ajia pulls me into his arms and against his chest, and I realize I’m shaking. Oh, God. I’ve been so torn, wanting Mom to be happy and yet wanting Gabe out of our lives. Now…I don’t know how to feel.
“When did she tell you that?” I can barely get the words out.
“This morning.” Knox stares at me as he answers, his expression unreadable.
“And you didn’t tell me until now?”
“You knew it was coming.” I can’t tell anything from his tone. “You had to expect it, after you fucking told her about him.”
Ajia’s stroking a gentle hand over my hair, and he whispers against my forehead. “You told your mom?”
I drop my head back to look at him, but I have to close my eyes for a bit of control. “I had to. After everything you told me, well…I just knew. I had to,” I say again.
“Details, please.” London’s voice is careful, but she’s glaring at Knox.
“Bree’s stepdad was hitting on her,” says Rye, finally, when nobody else answers.
“Okay.” She nods briskly. “More personal stuff. Not going there, either.”
London stands suddenly. “Let me do a little work. I’ll see what I can do to finalize our strategies, and let’s meet again in the morning. We’ll start our own campaign and direct attention to where we want it.”
“Thanks, London.” I smile from the safety of Ajia’s arms.
She smiles back. “Hey, you’re stuck with me now. I’ll do whatever I can for you.”
“Great!” crows Noah as he climbs to his feet. “Welcome to the family! Looks like you got yourself a sister in crime, baby girl.”
“It’s about time,” I laugh.
“And it’s about time for the rest of you fuckers to get out of here. I wanna be alone with my girl.”
Everybody laughs except, predictably, Knox. Rye shoves him out the door, and the rest of the band follows. Noah’s the last to go.
“Night, kiddies. Sleep tight.” And then he laughs like a freaking maniac.
CHAPTER 26
AJIA
I turn every fucking lock once we’re alone. Maybe it’s only been two days and one night since I touched Bree, but I want her. Now. No more waiting.
I reach back behind my neck, pull my shirt over my head, and toss it to the floor as I walk toward the bed. Next are these fucking leather pants that are way too constricting.
“You got some plans there, A?”
She’s stretched out on the bed with her back against the headboard and looks so goddamn fuckable. Her hair’s all loose around her shoulders and most of one leg shows because of that fucking slit in her skirt. She’s smiling, but somehow I manage to catch a flash of sadness that darts through her expression.
“What’s wrong, baby?” I forget about my pants and sink down next to her.
“Nothing.” She shakes her head.
“Kitten…” I drag it out so she knows I’m serious.
“I just…can’t really forget. I wish Knox had told me about Mom and Gabe earlier. I would have had time to—I don’t know—process it.”
Selfish asshole! Not sure if I mean Bree’s stepfather, her brother…or me. We’ve all done shit to hurt her, and then I got so focused on my cock, I didn’t even think about how she must feel about Knox’s fucking last-minute announcement.
“So you told your mom,” I say as I slip into place next to her. “How’d that go?”
“Pretty good, actually.” She leans against me, and I pull her close enough to cradle her in my arms. “As good as something like that can go. Better than I expected.”
“But she didn’t tell you what she was going to do?”
When Bree shakes her head, her hair rubs against my bare chest. I don’t want to notice how fucking good it feels, but my prick sure does.
“She just said she’d take care of things and wouldn’t tell me what that meant. Not even when we talked again last night.” Bree’s sigh sounds a little heavy. “Sounds like she decided
on divorce.”
“That upsets you?”
She tilts her head back far enough that I can see the uncertainty in her expression. “It’s like I said when I first told you about Gabe. She had to make a choice, and neither one was going to make her happy. I just wish I didn’t have to own any part in that.”
“You don’t. It’s not your fault, baby.” I drop a quick kiss on her lips. “Gabe owns the whole fucking shit storm. You know that, right?”
“Yeah. Most of the time.” She presses her lips against my chest. “It’s all just so…fucked up!”
“Well, yeah, I guess it is.” I give her a crooked smile. “Welcome to my life.”
Bree reaches up, curls one hand around my neck and pulls me down for a kiss. I open my mouth to turn it into something more, but she pulls back before I can.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry.” Her fingers brush over my neck. “That was shitty of me.”
“What do you mean?” I can taste her on my lips, and I want more.
“I shouldn’t be feeling sorry for myself. You’ve been through so much, and this thing with Gabe is just…stupid.”
“No, baby.” I steal that second kiss and then twist until I can pin her beneath me. “It’s not stupid, and that’s not what I meant.”
“No?” She brushes my hair back from my face and then rests her hand on my shoulder. “Well, maybe not, but—”
I’m not letting her take the blame for anything else. “We’ve all got shit in our lives that we gotta deal with, and we do our best.”
“We try,” she agrees. “But it worries me, you know.”
“What does?”
Her fingers press hard against my skin. “All this crap. The fame, the groupies, the gossip, and that doesn’t even touch anything about my mom, Gabe, Knox. That shit. I don’t know—”
“Forget about all that. It doesn’t matter. I love you and you love me, and that’s what counts.”
Her eyes widen, a beautiful green that draws me and holds me still at the same time. “You love me?”
“Well, yeah. Fuck, yeah. I told you. You’re my girl.”
“That doesn’t mean you…love me.”