by Asa Nonami
Yes, you had no alternative. What other course could you have chosen?
Yet, what a quiet death it had been—maybe, in its way, a sublime death. How strange that the death of a dog should affect her so deeply. As she rode blindly on, Takako wondered if Gale had not planned on ending his own life from the first. Once he had carried out his last mission and killed Ogawa, he would die: Gale was certainly capable of thinking that way. He was that human, that single-minded in his devotion.
Then they should have let him carry out the attack.
This stunning thought suddenly seized her. Ogawa would face a long trial now, to be followed by conviction and a harsh penalty, without a doubt. Murder, attempted murder, arson of an inhabited structure accompanied by the burning of neighboring structures, unauthorized use of a controlled substance for antisocial ends. He had all these crimes to answer for. Prosecutors would certainly request the death penalty.
Ogawa and Kasahara might confront one another in court. When that happened, Takako wanted to be there. Anyway, there was talk that she might need to take the stand as the legally appointed officer who went after Gale. It would be some time before the events of that night could fade to the far reaches of her awareness.
She'd been heading west, yet at some point she'd gotten on the expressway—and then, before she knew it, she found herself back on the Bayshore Route. The spring sun was high in the sky, and its reflection on the line of cars on the crowded lanes before her sparkled. The same road; but what different air, what different scenery from that day, flew past. In her mind's eye, Takako had a vision of Gale: a wolf-dog tearing through the darkness with bounding lightness and fluid grace.
Suddenly she thought of the emperor penguin. Come to think of it, perhaps the only reason she'd been able to race along with her mind focused solely on Gale that night was because she knew she could count on Takizawa, behind her. She had imagined herself alone in Gale's presence, but unlike him, she had had backup. She had ridden this long way with Takizawa there, watching after her, the whole time. That was how he could come up to her afterward and say, "You looked like you were having a ball."
She'd never seen him again since then, no chance to say a proper goodbye. Rumor had it he was troubled about his daughter's upcoming marriage. Supposedly he was tearing his hair out because, although barely twenty, she was bent on getting married right away. "Even for a woman, it's not like marriage is the only thing in life," he had groused to his coworkers.
Her former partner probably knew that Gale was dead. But he hadn't been able to tell her. Maybe he never told me because he wanted to spare me. That's the way he would think. Without him around anymore, she found herself thinking nostalgically of the emperor penguin. Her memory of him as he said only "Oh," and walked off with a wave of his hand was strangely warm. Still, she had no desire to be paired with him ever again.
She passed the Ichikawa toll booth and saw the Wangan Narashino Interchange coming up ahead. She put on the turn signal of her old friend, the XJR1200, and changed lanes. Still in a sentimental mood, she decided on the spur of the moment to visit her parents' home in Urawa.
She would check on Tomoko, who had taken up Chinese breathing exercises, and stay for dinner, putting up with Koko's malice and her mother's complaints. Talk of love and marriage was now off limits at home, so there would be no carping about her divorce. After a while her father would come home. She'd see him, hear him say as usual, "Sure is a big bike you got there," and then go back to her apartment. Days off were few and far between. Might as well make the most of this one.
Her thoughts turned to the case she was currently assigned to. The suspect remained a mystery. Even after hearing eyewitness testimony, she had no clear image of the attacker. What sort of man would go after defenseless young girls, slashing them from behind, she had no idea; there was something cheap and disgraceful about such behavior. Damn it, there were no decent men around, any way you turned. Though indeed, if she should ever find one with a long, bushy tail, she might follow him to the ends of the earth. Thinking this, she stepped three times on the gear pedal, then veered down the gentle curve of the ramp.