Running Blind

by Gwen Hernandez

  Lambert couldn’t possibly expect her and Kurt to show up unarmed.

  God, Kurt. If she thought turning herself over to Lambert alone would protect Kurt and his family and friends, she’d do it now. She couldn’t live with him getting hurt or killed.

  Though chances were she wouldn’t have to live with it. She’d probably be dead in less than twenty-four hours.

  To prevent that from happening, she had to stop fretting about everyone else and focus.

  “Where are you, Rose?”

  Forcing her leaden body to move, she returned downstairs. Kurt stood at the counter spreading peanut butter and jelly on bread.

  Before he could start throwing out suggestions about how to handle the message from Lambert, she said, “If there’s any way we can find her, I think we need to hit first, tonight.”

  “I agree. And it turns out we might be able to.”

  Her shoulders relaxed a fraction. Dare she hope? “How’s that?”

  “I was about to come get you. Valerie was able to trace the IP address of the email. Believe it or not, it was sent from St. Isidore.”

  “Wouldn’t we expect that?” Caitlyn asked. It made sense that Lambert’s men would be holding Rose close by if they were going to bring her to the exchange tomorrow.

  “Yes, but not if they were masking their location. If they were using an anonymizing browser or a virtual private network, it wouldn’t have traced back directly to the island. It might’ve looked like it was coming from somewhere like the Netherlands or Russia or Chicago.” He gave a little head tilt. “According to Valerie.”

  “So if they’re not masking their location, can we narrow it down to an area more precise than the island?”

  Little red indentations from Kurt’s glasses sat on the bridge of his nose. “Yes. She was able to do just that, and it looks like they’re on the northwest side of the island. It’s not definitive, she can’t pinpoint their location like GPS, but she can get within a mile or less. Something to do with local routers or something, I don’t know. But Tara thought to narrow it down by looking at properties or known connections that Lambert has on that end of St. Iz, based on the financial info Valerie put together.”

  Damn. Kurt had amazing people on his team. As much as Caitlyn hated getting him involved, where would she be without Steele’s resources? She’d have little or nothing to go on right now. Or she’d already be behind bars.

  Or worse.

  “Assuming they’re operating somewhere nearby and haven’t moved,” Kurt said, “she found two possibilities. One is Zanana Shores, a resort that’s currently under renovation, located on an isolated spit of land at the top of Zanana Bay, just north of Terre Verte. According to what Valerie dug up, Lambert purchased Zanana two years ago after the economy started to improve, and it’s set to open next month.

  “The other is a private home that belongs to the Devaux family, who appear to be beneficiaries of Lambert’s cheap labor.”

  Caitlyn couldn’t stop her lip from curling. What was wrong with people?

  “The resort seems like a perfect place to stage trafficking victims,” Kurt said. “If there’s a dock, it would be simple to bring them in via boat from other islands, and St. Isidore’s minimal coast guard presence doesn’t present much threat. If done right, no one would notice the new faces among the resort’s tourists. There are also a couple of airfields near TV that would make it easy for them to come and go.”

  Against her will, hope lodged itself in Caitlyn’s heart like an axe into wood. “The hotel makes more sense, right? It’s isolated and not open yet, so there’s less risk of Lambert’s men being spotted with Rose.” She mentally swiped away imagined scenes of Rose struggling with her captors. Going down that path was immobilizing.

  “I agree,” Kurt said. “Plus I messaged Dan and Jason. They confirmed that north of TV, the island is pretty quiet. Lambert’s men would likely see it as more difficult for Rose to escape from. I’d put my money there too.”

  Kurt threw a concerned look Caitlyn’s way. “If we had backup, I’d send someone to the house too, but we’ll have to make it our Plan B instead.”

  “And if she’s not at either one…”

  Kurt’s somber midnight gaze held hers. “We go to the exchange at six.”

  For dinner, Kurt heated canned stew in a pot while Caitlyn sliced a loaf of French bread. With a little olive oil and vinegar on the side for dipping, the meal was almost first-class.

  They ate to the sound of spoons clinking on ceramic bowls, the air in the room taut. Next to him, she tapped her toe on the stool’s footrest as if trying to drive the nervous energy from her body. Her shoulders were so tense they nearly touched her ears.

  He was almost as tightly wound. Everything hinged on tonight.

  After they finished eating and washed the dishes, Caitlyn set out a small package she found in the cupboard. “How about dessert?”

  “What are they?” Kurt asked.

  “Coconut Shirley biscuits. Cookies. They’re a Barbados staple.”

  “I thought you felt bad eating Brandon Marlowe’s food.”

  “They’ll go stale before he gets back.” She gave him a wily cat’s smile and shrugged. “I figure if we finish them off, we’re doing him a favor.”

  More likely, she needed something that felt good, even if it was just a sugar hit. Kurt couldn’t blame her.

  While eating, they hashed out rough plans of attack and retreat for all the scenarios, drawing crude maps on paper taken from the printer in the study. They were undermanned, under-informed, and under-equipped, but they had little choice in such a short time frame.

  He wished he could force her to stay behind. If anything happened to her, he would suffer the rest of his life. Short-lived though it might be.

  He sighed.

  This was ludicrous. For a man who claimed to want a family, he hadn’t done much to make it happen over the last few years. Instead, he’d poured all his energy into Steele and compared every woman he met to Caitlyn.

  Would he like to have children? Yes. But given a choice between having a family with another woman and spending his life with Caitlyn alone… He hadn’t been lying when he told her that finding the right woman was far more important. If she’d take him, he would jettison the dream of a family, no regrets.

  He stretched his arms overhead and stood, suddenly restless.

  Across the counter from him, she stared at their plans and fiddled with a pen. She was beautiful, smart, fierce, and so precious now that the thought of losing her was nauseating.

  And maybe it was about time she knew that. Whether she returned his feelings or not—and at this point he was pretty sure she didn’t—he didn’t want them to face this danger without her knowing she was loved.

  The word carved a hollow in his chest, but it was the right one. “Love” had never applied to any other woman in his life. Not this kind of love, anyway.

  Caitlyn leaned her elbows against the breakfast bar, her brilliant green eyes subdued as she stared at a spot on the wall.

  “If Rose is there, we’ll get her,” Kurt said.

  She met his gaze, her eyes lighting with intensity. “I know.”

  He cleared his throat. “Can we talk for a minute?”

  A crease formed between her brows. They were already talking, weren’t they? And he was an idiot.

  “Of course,” she said, striding around the breakfast bar to join him in the great room. “What’s up?”

  He leaned against the side of the sofa and crossed his arms. Was he making a mistake? Shit. This was the dumbest idea ever. He wracked his brain for an alternate topic that might fit his change of tone.

  “Kurt?” She stood in front of him with her hands on her hips and leaned over to move into his line of sight. “Everything all right?”

  He straightened, took a deep breath, and looked her in the eyes. “I love you.”

  CHAPTER 12

  KURT GRIMACED AS the words escaped his mouth, seemingly ag
ainst his will. Caitlyn’s jaw slackened. Had he really just said—

  “I know you don’t feel the same, and that you don’t want me to touch you now that we’re not pretending to be engaged anymore, but in case something happens to me tomorrow…” He took a deep breath. “I just wanted you to know. That I love you. Pretty sure I always have.”

  Always? Like fourteen years always?

  He’d knocked the breath right out of her, but his words didn’t instill the deep terror she had expected.

  Hell, she was vulnerable to him whether she pushed him away or not. Why was she running so hard from what she wanted? Had she been happier alone all these years? Had keeping her distance from those who threatened her heart made the important people in her life any less of an Achilles heel for her? No. He had the power to hurt her even if they never kissed again.

  “That’s all I had to say,” he said, filling the heavy silence with his rich voice. “No expectations or anything, no matter how this all turns out.” He shifted away from the couch and dropped his arms.

  “Don’t leave,” she said, finally finding her voice as she reached out and laid her palm flat against his chest.

  He went perfectly still except for the steady thump of his heart beneath her hand.

  She inhaled his heady masculine scent and cleared her throat. “I don’t know about love. I’ve avoided that my whole adult life.” She placed her other hand on his chest and slid them both across to his massive biceps. “I’ve also avoided anyone who makes me feel…vulnerable.”

  His inky eyes never left hers.

  “For example, you,” she said. There. Maybe she wasn’t such a coward after all. He’d humbled himself before her; the least she could do was be honest in return.

  “Me?” His eyebrows crashed together. “Do I intimidate you?”

  She shook her head. How to explain? “No. I mean you’re obviously bigger and stronger, but I’m not talking about physical strength.” Placing one hand on her heart, she whispered, “You make me vulnerable here.”

  His chin pulled back. “And you hate that.”

  How did he know her so well? “More than anything. If I don’t let anyone get too close, they can’t hurt me.”

  He placed his hand over hers on her chest, prodding her pulse. “That’s a lonely way to live.”

  It was. It had been. “For a long time, I thought it was worth it. But all my best efforts have failed. I’m still here at Lambert’s bidding to save my sister, because she’s part of my family. How could I not be? And I’d still do anything to keep you safe, because we’re friends and I…care.”

  His eyes flickered—possibly with disappointment—but she couldn’t tell him she loved him. She didn’t know if the flutter in her belly and the vise around her heart were from love or fear. Or both. But, oh, how she wanted him.

  Tonight could be their last chance. And if something happened to her, she didn’t want his last memories of them together to be of her pushing him away. Not when she wanted to touch him more than anything. Besides, if she didn’t live past the morning, it wouldn’t matter how defenseless he made her feel.

  Right now, she wanted to give in to the flame of desire that he lit within her. She wanted to truly live without any care for the wreck she might become if she fell under his spell. She glanced at his lips, unable to stop herself from giving away her goal.

  His breath ceased and his gaze held as she slowly leaned in, compelled closer, as if he had his own gravity. Her skin tingled, the air turning warm between them.

  She closed her eyes and pressed her mouth to his soft lips.

  Every cell in her body sighed at the rightness of it. Every nerve sprang to life at the contact. She buzzed as if electrified and wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him close.

  A low groan escaped him as their bodies met from shoulders to thighs. He deepened the kiss, tongues stroking and dueling, fanning the spark into an inferno. He tasted of desire and coconut. She wanted to strip them both naked and—

  “Hang on.” She pulled back.

  He frowned, but didn’t say anything. Or move.

  “Sit,” she said, pointing to the couch. Would he let her take the reins?

  She removed her T-shirt.

  His frown vanished. He watched her with a hungry expression as he settled onto the cushions, palms flat at his sides, appearing willing to go along with whatever she had in mind.

  She approached him slowly, shedding her bra along the way. A low groan issued from his lips as he followed her progress, eyes unblinking, pupils flared. The look on his face was intoxicating.

  The power of baring herself to this man, body and soul, surged through her veins, a high even better than cruising at twenty thousand feet. It made no sense, but no way in hell was she going to stop.

  As she neared the sofa, she kicked off her running shoes and dropped her jeans and panties.

  “Caitlyn, Jesus.” Kurt gripped the front edge of the cushion, his knuckles white, his voice hoarse.

  She smiled and lowered herself gently onto his lap. “Is this okay?” The edge of his sockets pressed against the backs of her thighs, but not painfully. She was more concerned about hurting him.

  His hips twitched at the contact. “Hell, yeah.”

  She kissed him, melting into his warm body, threading her hands into his short hair. He responded eagerly but kept his arms at his sides even as his pelvis rocked against hers.

  Pulling back, she held his rough cheeks. “What’s wrong?”

  “Not a goddamned thing.”

  “Why won’t you touch me?”

  He glanced between them and chuckled. “I’m pretty sure this counts.”

  “Kurt.” She rolled her hips and his eyes glazed. “I take back what I said earlier. I thought that was obvious.”

  “Sure.” He shrugged, his eyes never leaving her face. “I’m just giving you full control.”

  Tears—for God’s sake, tears—burned at the backs of her eyes.

  Fuck that.

  She kissed him hard and grabbed his hands, placing them on her breasts.

  He smiled into the kiss and murmured, “Yes, ma’am,” against her lips. Then he caressed her eager flesh as his mouth moved lower, trailing sparks down her neck and along her shoulder.

  Head thrown back, she arched into him and gave a lusty moan, her body more fully alive than she’d ever imagined possible. His lips scorched across her skin like a brushfire. When his mouth closed over her nipple, she nearly jumped out of his lap.

  He thought he was giving her control? More like unraveling it.

  And she couldn’t care less.

  As he caressed and teased, she reached between them to unbutton his pants and slip her hand into his boxers. He hissed at her touch, but didn’t stop driving her mad with his clever tongue.

  His penis was smooth and warm, pulsing in her hand as she stroked. He let his head drop back with a groan, but continued caressing and exploring with his hands, moving lower until he found the sensitive spot between her thighs.

  Her body spooled up like a propeller, gaining momentum as he touched her with expert fingers. Their breath filled the air, hot gasps, desperate sighs, and hushed moans as they drove each other higher, undulating together in an ancient rhythm.

  Sweat pebbled on Caitlyn’s skin. She flushed hot and cold as she raced toward the sweet reward promised in Kurt’s every touch.

  Her breath stopped and she turned weightless, catapulted into the stars as he brought her to ecstasy.

  The force of it left her speechless. And eager for more. Still buzzing, she rose onto her knees and guided him between her thighs, sliding down until he was buried deep.

  “Ah, God.” His low voice rumbled through her. He gripped her hips and set a steady pace that drove her wild.

  Watching Kurt come undone was almost as intoxicating as his touch.

  “Caitlyn.” He went rigid and stopped moving, releasing a groan of pure anguish. “No condom.”

  “I’m clean,�
�� she said, quickly. “It’s been years.”

  His dark eyes widened. “Me too, but—”

  She should have covered this earlier, but it wasn’t exactly sexy foreplay. Of course, having the talk now certainly wasn’t a mood enhancer. “I can’t have kids. I had to have a hysterectomy after…”

  “Oh, shit, Cait. I’m sorry.” He stroked her face.

  “It’s okay.” She gave him a quick kiss to clear his furrowed brow. “Really. It’s been twelve years. And I never wanted kids anyway, so…” She’d never had that maternal urge that so many women seemed to get, not before her miscarriage and not since. If she had, she could have adopted. There were plenty of orphans in need. “I’m fine.”

  The temperature of the air between them had dropped, and their breathing returned to normal. And here she sat naked on a fully dressed man whose ardor was quickly cooling.

  Kurt stared into the dim room beyond her shoulder. Was he disappointed that she couldn’t have children, or just lost in the memory of that awful night when he’d probably saved her life?

  “There’s nothing you could have done to change that outcome,” she said.

  His startled gaze met hers. He shouldn’t be so surprised. She knew how his brain worked. At least when it came to rescuing people.

  “There is something you could do now, though.” She slid a foot between the back cushion and his buttocks, and used her calf to press him all the way inside her, covering his face in soft kisses until he grasped her cheeks and fused their mouths together for a desperate, hungry exploration of lips, teeth, and tongues.

  “Please,” she whispered. “Please love me.”

  With a grunt, he wrapped his arms across her upper back and held her shoulders, driving into her over and over until she was delirious, his hot breath tickling her neck.

  Within moments, he lost his rhythm, his thrusts coming hard and fast. Reaching between them, he stroked her with his thumb as he came inside her with a long, shuddering sigh.