by Kaye Draper
He stomped over and clambered up onto a barstool, putting him closer to eye-level. His color was still high, but it was fading, and he let out a long breath, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “No. I’m not jealous, Sam.” He reached for me and once I was sure he wasn’t going to punch me again, I let him take my hand. “I’m scared. For you.” He shook his head and clamped his mouth shut as if he was having trouble finding words, for once in his life.
Emerson joined us and put a big hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles that encompassed my entire upper back. “Fiends are unpredictable, Sam. They’re not all bad. Fin knows that. But they just don’t think the way we do. Sometimes…they hurt people just for fun.” His deep voice dropped to a whisper. “They like to see people suffer, because it fascinates them. Because they don’t understand feelings.”
The pain in his voice took my breath away, and I turned to find the big guy’s jaw clenched. “Em?” What the hell had his ogre clan done to him?
He shook his head and cleared his throat. “It’s not important. It’s not about me right now, Sam. We just want you to be careful. We want you to be safe.”
I sighed, hating all the feelings floating around in the room right now. Shaking it off, I smirked at Fin. “If you’re so worried, why don’t you just pull out your stupid luck magic and make sure things work out for me and Ahura?”
Fin sighed and shook his head. “Luck magic can be tricky—you’ve bitched about it often enough, Sam. Everything you complain about is true. Sometimes it does more harm than good.”
I got out from between the two men before they started emoting all over me again. Snagging my beer, I lifted it in a toast to chaos. “Oh, stop being such a mother hen,” I told the leprechaun. “Luck me up. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Chapter 7
Despite Fin’s grumbling, the job with Ahura went great. We were able to distract and knock out the guards and driver and reroute a shipment of food and supplies, driving the stout, armored convoy truck to a neutral location outside of town. From there, we helped a few other people from the movement unpack the goods and load them into a vehicle that wouldn’t be so conspicuous. Then we were done. I didn’t ask what they planned on doing with the truck we’d stolen. I assumed it would be stripped of identifiers and scrapped out be used for other missions. Ahura and me caught a ride back to town with a traveling band of merchants from Golding, who were more than happy to pretend they’d never seen us.
Now, I sat in a booth at a mostly-clean table with Ahura, sipping a whiskey sour as we watched the crowd around us—mostly poor humans and working-class curs too tired from their day’s work to go around starting shit in a bar. It was…nice. Who knew I’d be able to feel so relaxed after a day of minor crime? Maybe Fin’s luck magic wasn’t so bad after all—it did seem to be working pretty smoothly today.
Ahura scooted closer to me in the booth, her own straight whiskey gripped in her slender fingers. “Don’t you love watching them?” she said, her smoky voice pitched low as she nodded toward the small corner area where a space had been cleared for “dancing.” Mostly it was just drunks swaying against each other to the terrible bluegrass rock that had become popular after the rift.
I snorted and took a sip of my drink. “Not really.”
She nudged me with her shoulder and smiled. “Oh, come on, kitty cat. Don’t be like that. I know you have feelings in there, somewhere.” Her expression turned wistful as she sat back and watched the other patrons. “It’s nice. Those rare moments when you enter a place and you realize no one is fighting, or judging, or looking for an excuse to start shit. Look at them. Sure, pretty soon someone will start something. But for right now, for just a few seconds, it looks like what the world should be.”
I turned to stare at her in shock. “That was…almost idealistic. Are you feeling okay? For a minute there you sounded almost like…Theo.” I infused the politician’s name with horror.
She smiled and sipped her drink, her eerie red eyes flashing. “His ideas aren’t so bad. Unlikely as hell, but not bad. I want peace as much as any smooshy human. Mostly just so I can fucking relax once in a while, you know?”
I did know. Even though I wasn’t a full fiend like Ahura, I still had to be constantly aware of my surroundings, always listening and watching, just in case. In case someone decided to assault me for being different. In case I did something that someone might misinterpret as threatening. In case a stronger monster than me decided I looked like a snack. There were threats on all sides. But at least I could legally be here. Ahura risked being captured or shot on sight if they knew what she really was. Full fiends were not welcome in human cities, except for very rare, very expensive exceptions.
I lifted my arm in invitation and Ahura’s smile grew sultry as she slid closer, leaning against my side as I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I’m sorry Fin was being such an asshole yesterday,” I said on a sigh. “It’s shitty when even your own kind has prejudices.”
She ran a hand down my thigh, petting me like a…cat. “Please,” she said on a chuckle. “I’m not some weak human female. I’m used to being hated.”
I raised an eyebrow when her hand started to wander upward and inward. “You’re not even fucking fazed are you?” Had I hit my head sometime recently and not noticed? Here I was, trying to apply all Emerson’s lessons about emotions to someone who honestly didn’t seem to give a fuck.
She shrugged, tilting her head to give me a sly look, her pile of long braids sliding over her shoulder with the faint clacking of wooden beads. “Will it make you feel sorry for me if I get upset? Would you want to make me feel better?” She nipped at my neck. “I had fun in the cave. Maybe next time we could try a bed so that pretty ass of yours doesn’t get all scraped up.”
I huffed a laugh, letting her distraction work. I saw it for what it was though. Fin and all the rest of the world might insist that fiends didn’t feel things the way humans did. But I knew better. I knew a coping mechanism when I saw one. Fuck knew I was pretty skilled at using them myself. Right now, Ahura was hiding her frustration and insecurities under a careless, slutty shell.
But we all did what we had to do. I liked her, but I didn’t know her well enough yet to call her on her shit. Besides, sometimes we all just needed a pass to be as dysfunctional as we had to be to get by.
“Maybe,” I said in answer to her flirting. “But you might wake up dead if we went to my place. I’m pretty sure there’s an angry leprechaun and a pacing ogre waiting for me at home. They weren’t exactly thrilled about this job.”
She laughed and tilted her head in invitation. And…fuck it. I was a grown ass adult and way too wise to the world to pass up the offer. I ducked my head and kissed her, pausing to suck on her full lower lip, reveling in the softness in my arms. Ahura was a bad ass—and a fiend—so she could definitely kick my ass from here to hell and back again. But she was still a woman—soft and plump, and so different from my guys. A bit of magic sparked between us, something of her fiend nature reacting to my touch.
I pulled back with a groan. “That was probably a terrible idea.”
She just laughed and picked up her drink. “Absolutely. Let’s do it again as often as possibly kitty cat.” She set her drink down, but kept her fingers wrapped around the glass, tapping her forefinger against the smooth surface…fidgeting.
I was pretty sure Ahura in a contemplative mood was a dangerous thing. But before I could derail her from whatever terrible thing she was thinking, she spoke, her red eyes still fixed on her drink. “I don’t really do…permanent,” she said, her voice so soft I could barely hear her over the bar crowd and the terrible music. “I move around. I don’t stay in one place for too long, so people won’t think to start asking questions. So they can’t find me if someone suspects I’m…illegal.”
I grabbed her wrist to get her to stop fiddling with her drink and look at me. Ahura was never hesitant about saying whatever the hell she wanted to say—whether anyone wante
d to hear it or not. This was just weird. She met my eyes and gave me a wry smile. “I can’t change that. I’ll always be a roamer. But…maybe I can be nicer to your leprechaun.” She chuckled. “I think the ogre is fine with a woman around. I don’t know what kind of arrangement you guys have, but I’m pretty openminded.”
I stared at her in shock, a smile tugging at the corner of my lips. It was so stupid. But it was cute. Ahura—the snarky, distant, efficient killer—was trying to say she wanted to be part of my life. In whatever way that would work.
I let go of her wrist, reaching for my own drink. Hell, I had a hard enough time navigating the whole relationship thing with my two guys, let alone adding a third person into the mix. All my old fears and insecurities rushed in to nip at my heels. Things had been going too well for me. There was no way Fin and Em were going to stick around. And the thought of another person liking me? Laughable. What was in it for Ahura? She was so beautiful and strong. Why would she want a defective half-man, half-woman, half-monster like me?
I closed my eyes. I might be stubborn. And a bit slow. But my time with Fin and Emerson was changing me. It had never been more evident than right at that moment—when I pushed all those worries aside and called them bullshit.
I shrugged at Ahura. “I don’t really know why you’d want to put up with me. Or those other idiots. But…I wouldn’t mind. I’d…like to see where this goes.” That was one of the hardest things I’d ever said.
Ahura seemed to get it. She didn’t press for more. Didn’t continue with the innuendos and the snark. She just went back to people watching. “Don’t get all emotional on me, kitty cat,” she purred, standing to go get us another round. “It’ll all work out however it’s meant to.”
Then she sauntered away, leaving me feeling completely confused and…happy? Yeah. I was happy about this. It was just that I still hadn’t gotten past the instinct that warned me that happiness didn’t last. It whispered that if something good happened to me…then something fucked up was sure to follow.
Chapter 8
Using valet parking for my rugged old gas-powered Jeep at Theo’s stuffy rich guy party was the highlight of my week. The poor human valet looked like she wanted to run when I handed her my keys. “It backfires sometimes when you start it,” I told her with a grin.
She just swallowed hard, her wide brown eyes taking in my slightly sharper-than-human teeth. “Yes, um…sir…ma’am?”
I shrugged. “Close enough.” Then I left the perplexed blonde to park my working-class vehicle next to the shiny sports cars and limos. I tugged my deep red button up straight, smoothed a hand over my black leather pants, and ran my fingers through my chin-length hair. It was as close to dressed up as I did. But I was still way out of place among the crowd that was making their way toward the door in their expensive tailored suits and shiny silk dresses. I shook myself. Like I fucking cared. I was only attending Theo’s stupid inauguration because Fin and Emerson insisted it would be good press for our guild—maybe bring us some high-paying private contracts when one of the stuffy politicians ended up with some unwanted fiend in their landscaped backyard or something.
I had adamantly reminded them that fiends were the only things we’d be killing. I wasn’t about to become some rich human’s hired killer.
And I definitely wasn’t there to support Theo or because I was curious about what kind of sovereign he’d be. Absolutely not. But…I recalled the time I’d taught him how to hold a knife while we were out in the wastelands, and how earnest those bright blue eyes were when all the arrogance fell away, and even I knew I was full of shit.
I eyed the tables of food as I entered the big ballroom where the gathering was taking place. The entire fucking mansion was packed with people. My eyes immediately found the guards scattered inconspicuously down the hallway and in the ballroom. Poor things. Theo insisted on meeting his people face to face so he could charm them all, but this must be a damned security nightmare.
I elbowed my way through the crowd to a table laden with hors d’oeuvres. If I had to be here, I was at least going to enjoy the fancy food. I had managed to pile a tiny plate with meat and cheese skewers and fresh fruit when a disturbance in the crowd caught my attention. I turned to see Fin and Emerson entering the room and I sighed.
I was lucky. The oddities of my physical appearance were minor enough that most people didn’t pay much attention. They knew I was a cur, thanks to my sharp teeth, unnaturally blue eyes, and the unusual blue and white streaks in my hair. But they had to really be looking to notice those details. Fin and Em though? In a room full of humans and the occasional human-looking cur, my guys stuck out like crazy. Fin’s short stature, bright coloring, and slightly pointed ears might not be too bad, but alongside Em’s hulking, muscle-bound form, sharp canines, and light green skin, it was obvious neither of them were human. They had done their best to find formal clothing, which was a miracle given their size issues. But it still wasn’t enough to make them fit in.
A polite throat clearing drew my attention to Jules, who had silently appeared at my side like a ghost. The butler was as immaculately dressed as always, his pale blond hair slicked back and his posture straight as an arrow. “Good evening, Sam,” he said with a polite smile. “If you would follow me?”
I shrugged and trailed along behind the man as he led me to one of the round tables near the front of the room. Ada waved enthusiastically at me from a nearby table and I lifted a hand, hating how all the important-looking humans at her table turned to study me with sharp, calculating eyes. Turning my back on them, I took the seat Jules indicated at a table with a “reserved VIP seating” card in the center. Fucking Theo. Of course he’d stick us right up front where everyone could gawk at us throughout what was probably going to be a long and boring speech about politics.
I stuck a couple skewers in my mouth and pulled the cheese and meat off with my teeth as I waited for my guild to join me at the table. Glancing up, I caught a guy with what looked like a diamond tie pin and cuff links watching me. I grinned at him, making sure to show my fangs. He flushed in either embarrassment or anger and looked away. Yeah. I hated shit like this. I felt like a freak on display at one of those old-fashioned human carnivals. Only I was less likely to behave than your usual caged beast.
“Didn’t waste any time stuffing your face, did ya,” Fin commented as he climbed up into a chair beside me.
I shrugged and pointed to the rare tropical fruit on my plate. “Might as well get something out of this stupid night. I haven’t tasted fresh pineapple in years.”
Emerson slid into the chair on my other side. “We’ll probably get some contracts out of it too,” he said, trying for optimistic and failing. The poor guy wasn’t any more comfortable here than I was.
I turned to look at him and frowned, putting down the kiwi slice I’d just lifted to my mouth. “What the fuck happened to your face?”
A faint pink blush colored his broad cheekbones and he lifted a big mitt to pat at his right eye, which was sporting the biggest shiner I’d ever seen. “It’s nothing.”
“Like fuck it is,” I growled. “Who the hell hit you, Emerson?” My claws were out now, and I curled them into the table, marring the shiny varnish.
Fin snatched some fancy shrimp thing off my plate. “Protestors,” he said, stuffing the snack into his mouth. “Threw a rock.”
A low, rumbling growl escaped my throat before I could stop it. A lady at the next table scooted her chair farther away from us, her shoulders tense. Emerson put a hand over mine on the table, engulfing my fingers and giving them a squeeze. “It’s fine, Sam. An hour from now, it will be like it never happened. It’s not worth making a scene. Not here.”
I met his concerned red-brown eyes. “It’s not fine.”
Sure, with his cur healing, the bruise would fade quickly. But Emerson’s feelings wouldn’t heal so fast. I knew him. He was ridiculously sensitive. The thought of what he must have felt, being heckled and threatened by the hu
man protestors outside the mansion gates made me want to taste blood. My beast side was insisting that no one got to hurt our mate. Everything in me wanted to shift and hunt them down.
Except I couldn’t shift, weapons were banned in here, and killing humans for throwing stones was a good way to get myself a death sentence. So I sank back in my seat and pushed the beast inside me back down into the dark where it belonged. “Not fucking fine,” I muttered again.
Guilt nibbled at my gut. If I had just insisted on driving them, this wouldn’t have happened. They wouldn’t have had to walk past the protestors, and if anyone at the door fucked with them, I’d have stopped it with a well-placed punch to the throat. If I’d just had the guts to fucking speak up and ask them to live with me, they wouldn’t have been coming from the other side of town in the first place.
Emerson gave me a small smile. “I’ll go get more food.” Then he stood, sending puny humans scattering in his wake as he raided the buffet tables.
“He’s okay,” Fin said softly from my side, drawing my attention back to him.
I snorted. “Of course he’s okay. He’s a fucking ogre. Don’t be dumb.”
But the leprechaun just arched one thick red brow at me as his handsome face stretched into a knowing smirk. “It’s cute when you get all overprotective like that. It’s like you just gave him a bouquet of flowers and proclaimed your undying lo—”
“Shut the fuck up,” I snapped, cutting him off before he could utter that word. “I just don’t like bullies.”
When Emerson returned, his big hands were holding four plates of food. He slid two of them in front of me, handed one to Fin, then claimed one for himself. I shook my head at his obvious attempt to butter me up.