“I moved here after graduation.”
His blue-green eyes burn as he watches me. His jaw flexes with tension. “Do you want to grab a coffee and catch up?”
I think it over. Is this smart?
His scent gets blown my way from a gust of wind. It washes over me, bringing up so many memories, good and bad.
I should be heading to meet Brad, but maybe one cup wouldn’t hurt. “Okay, one cup.”
He nods as he motions toward a coffee shop across the street. We begin walking, but he is careful not to touch me. He slides his hands into his leather coat pockets and puts at least a foot between us. I’m thankful. I don’t know if his touch will have the same effect as it did all those years ago, but if it does, it’s something I need to avoid before I screw up everything I have going for me.
We don’t talk as we stand in line and order our drinks. Once we have our coffee, we sit at a table by the window.
Everything between us feels strained. Like there is still so much between us that needs to be talked about, but we’re both afraid of bringing up the past.
He clears his throat. “So, what have you been up to?”
I scoff. “What have I been up to? You left me in your apartment asleep and naked with nothing more than a letter and all you have to say is, what have you been up to?”
He leans back, breathing heavy as he runs his hands through his hair. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what? For leaving me like that or for your dumb question?”
The corners of his mouth turn up as he watches me.
“What’s so funny?” Annoyance has to be written on my face right now.
He nods. “I always thought you were beautiful when you were angry. That hasn’t changed.”
“Stop. Start talking or I’m out of here. I’ve lived my life just fine without you for three years. All I’m asking for is an explanation.”
He picks up his cup and takes a sip. “I didn’t want to ruin your life, Hope. Is that so hard to believe?”
“No, what you did was take away my choice. I loved you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. And you took that away from me.” Anger is pumping through me at an alarming rate. I’ve had three long years to picture this moment and all the things I would say. I promised myself that I wouldn’t let him walk away again until he admitted that he still loves me, or never loved me to begin with.
“I took a lot from you,” he admits, shamefully.
“Goddamn it, Holden. When are you going to see that you didn’t take anything from me when we were together? You gave me way more than you ever took. You gave me happiness, you gave me love. Why is that so wrong?”
“I didn’t want you to lose the only family you had left. I left so you wouldn’t have to make the choice between me and them.” Lines are forming across his forehead. I can see all the trouble brewing in his eyes. They burn with regrets and sadness, but I still see love beneath them.
“You mean my family that I haven’t spoken to since the night I graduated?”
The anger on his face smooths away. “What? Why?”
I lean back, looking at my hands in my lap. “Because they wouldn’t let me live my life. They want to control me, make my choices for me. And I refuse to live someone else’s life. It’s mine to live how I see fit.”
He shakes his head with a small laugh. “You really have grown, Hope.”
“Now, tell me.”
His eyes pop up to mine. “Tell you what?”
“I want to hear you say that you still love me or that you never did. I need to hear the truth.”
Seriousness covers his face as he leans forward and reaches for my hand. The second he touches it, it feels as though it’s been lit on fire. “How could you ever think that I don’t love you? I’ve told you time and time again how I felt about you.”
“Just say it,” I say, leaning toward him. We’re as close as we can be with a table between us. His breath blows across my face, making me want to wet my dry lips, but I don’t. I want his eyes on mine when he says the words, not my mouth.
“I love you, Hope. I always have. It’s not something that will ever fade away. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, long for you. I’ve had to stop myself from searching for you nearly every fucking day.” He pulls his eyes from mine as he drops my hand and leans back. “I lost that fight a year ago when I looked you up and found you here. I packed up my life and moved, in hopes of running into you and begging you to take me back, or to put me out of my misery and tell me to leave you alone once and for all. But now it’s too late. You’re with someone.”
“Have you been watching me?” My eyes squint at him.
He laughs. “No. I went to your apartment to see you. I was sitting in the lobby when you two walked in hand in hand. You were both looking at one another, laughing, and I knew I couldn’t break up what you had because you found what I always hoped you would.” He stands and looks down at me. “I’m sorry. For everything. But I’m so happy that you found the life I knew you would.”
Without another word, he walks out, leaving me staring after him in shock. It feels like my world has stopped. He loves me and always has.
I still love him, even though I’ve tried to stop many times over the past three years.
Everything moves at full speed now as my feet move on their own. They carry me outside and to a sudden stop to look all around me to find him. I look in front of me, to my left, and to my right. Finally, I see him, walking away from me with his head down.
I turn to my right and chase after him screaming his name. The city is so busy and loud that he doesn’t even hear me. I try again while my feet carry me as fast as they can. He comes to a stop at the corner and raises his hand, flagging down a cab. I’m still a block away from him.
God, no. Please don’t let him get in a cab.
A cab pulls up to the curb and he opens the door. I scream as loud as I can. Finally, he hears me. He turns and his eyes lock on mine.
He closes the door and lets the cab drive away as he takes a few steps in my direction.
“What the hell are you doing?” he asks as I come to a stop directly in front of him, panting and out of breath.
My heart pounds hard against my chest. “I love you too, still, after all this time. You’re the only person I can think about.”
His brows pull together as he shakes his head. “Hope, you’re living with someone. That’s serious.”
I laugh as I wrap my hands around his neck and pull his lips to mine. They move quick and with precision. It causes a fire to light that I thought was gone forever.
He pulls away. “What the hell, Hope?”
“I’m not with Brad. He’s my roommate, and completely gay.”
Realization washes over him before he pulls me back against him, kissing me with a passion that can’t be stopped or put out no matter how much distance and time comes between us.
He breaks the kiss. “You really are a pain in the ass,” he says with a wide smile before his lips find mine again.
The second his apartment door is open, he’s pulling me through it, pinning me against the cool, metal door. My hands push away his leather jacket while his starts unbuttoning my white dress shirt, leaving me in nothing but my pencil skirt that ends below my knee and my light pink, lace bra.
“You’re so fucking sexy. God, I’ve missed you.” His lips crash against mine. “I’ve missed your touch.” I lace my fingers into his hair, pulling him closer. “I’ve missed your smell.” My hands drop down to his belt, quickly unfastening it.
His hands roam my body, back to my ass where his fingers unzip my skirt. I shimmy it down my legs as he breaks our kiss again and steps back to admire me. “My angel,” falls from his lips as he grabs me, picking me up and carrying me through the apartment.
We crash onto his bed with him leaning over me. His lips start at my knee, traveling up my inner thigh as his fingers slid beneath my panties, pulling them down as he kiss
es his way up. “I’ve missed tasting you.” He kisses my center, making me moan. “The way your body responds to mine.” His fingers dip inside me and his thumb presses against my ass while his tongue flicks against my nub. Already, I’m quivering for him. “I’m going to slide deep inside you and never fucking leave.”
His words are too much. They turn me on all on their own, but the way his mouth and fingers move over me, I’m nearing my release. But I don’t want it yet. I want him, all of him.
I pull away and push against him until he lays back. I pull his boxers down his muscular thighs as I climb on top of him. “You’re not the only one who missed something.” I slide down his length that’s rock hard and waiting for me. His head falls back with a gasp.
“Fuck, Hope.” His hands fly to my hips, squeezing them firmly. The second he’s inside of me, I’m falling apart. He bucks against me as I take what I want from him. I’m not stealing it though, he gives it to me, willingly, finally putting all of our troubled past behind us.
He sits up and I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him close while I continue to ride his thick cock. His lips find mine and I can taste myself on him, his beard is wet with my arousal. It only turns me on more, makes me work harder for my release.
The second my muscles ease around his cock and my moans quiet, he rolls us over, drilling into me. His thrusts are so hard and forceful, I’m slowly sliding up the bed.
“You feel so good wrapped around me. I can’t control it,” he says against my lips while he fills me to the brim.
“Come with me, Hope.” His hand reaches around my thigh as he applies pressure on my ass. The familiar touch is just what I need to push me over the edge with him. I squeeze around him as the waves of pleasure wash over both of us. He calls out my name with a deep growl as he spills every last drop inside of me.
When he pulls out, he takes his place beside me, pulling me into his chest where his lips find mine again, hands traveling my body. “You feel too good. Like this is all just a dream I will wake from to find myself alone.”
I place my hand on his cheek. “If this is a dream, we’re in it together and that’s all that matters.” I roll on top of him, sliding down his already hard dick once again.
Chapter 27
Leaving her alone in my apartment with nothing but a note killed me. Leaving Hope that day took a part of me I thought I’d die without. But as much as it hurt me, I prayed she would forgive me.
For the first week, I did nothing but drink. I needed time to think everything over. I stayed drunk all hours of the day, only stopping to sleep. When I woke up, the bottle is what I reached for.
After that week, I contacted Jack and asked him to take care of the shop and my apartment for me. I only came back to go to her graduation. I stayed in the back so she wouldn’t see me, but I had a moment of weakness and wanted to see her, feel her, tell her how much I loved her.
At the last second, I changed my mind. She would never get over me if she thought there was a chance I would keep coming back. But she saw me. Our eyes locked with a hundred people between us. When someone bumped into her, pulling her eyes away from mine, I took my chance and walked away from her for the last time. Or I thought it was anyway.
After a couple of months of doing nothing but running from the truth, I came home. I began working at the shop again. I ate and slept, but I wasn’t alive. You can’t be alive if your heart is out walking the world without you.
Two years, three weeks, and six days is all I could take of living without her. I didn’t know where she was or if she would want to see me, but I had to try even though I hated myself for it.
I used Jack’s phone and looked her up on some social media site. I’m not big on sending a bunch of strangers pictures of my dinner and selfies — fuck selfies.
I found her profile and found out she was living in New York. I gave Jack his phone back, asked him to take care of the shop, and packed my bags.
I moved to the city and waited. I walked the streets every day, hoping to run into her, but the city was too big. The longer I stayed in New York, the more it held onto me. I grew to love the noise and busyness of it all. It was never quiet and that helped to drown out the loneliness.
I thought a lot about what I could do here. All I’ve ever done is build bikes and run my business. I thought about all the custom bikes I had built over the years and it clicked. I found a building and expanded my business. But instead of just being a shop that does repairs, I build and sell custom made bikes. Jack still runs the old shop for me and he took over my apartment, leaving me with nothing to worry about except for what I’m doing here. Having her in my arms again makes me feel whole, and I haven’t felt this way in years.
Her head pops off my chest quickly. “What time is it?”
I look at my watch. “It’s going on seven. Why? Do you have somewhere to be?”
She jumps up and starts pulling on clothes. “Yes. I’m going to be late.”
I stand and pull my clothes on as well. “I have my Jeep here. I can give you a ride. It would be quicker than finding a cab.”
“That would be great. Thanks.”
We both finish getting dressed and rush out the door. She instructs me to drive to Manhattan, and then gives me directions to a small building with a glass store front.
“What is this place?” I ask as I park the Jeep and follow her out.
She reaches for my hand, that I put in hers, as she smiles back at me. “You’ll see,” she says as she walks past a line of people waiting to get into the shop she’s leading me to.
We walk in and the man that I thought she was seeing rushes up to us. “It’s about time. I thought I was going to have to open the doors without you!”
I don’t pay any attention to what they say because my eyes are glued to the walls that are home to an amazing photography collection. I let go of her hand as I casually walk through, looking at each of them.
I knew she loved taking pictures, but I never knew she was so gifted. There are pictures of beautiful scenery, some I recognize from the hike we took all those years ago. I look at each and every one, but my feet stop moving when I come across one of me. I’m on my bike, arms outstretched holding onto the handle bars, and I’m looking over my shoulder. Based on the smile on my face, I’m looking at her. The picture is a sepia color, causing it to appear older than it is, making me almost look like a matured version of James Dean. I laugh at the thought.
I think back on when she could have taken it, but nothing crosses my mind.
“I took that picture before I left for college. Do you remember that?” she ask, walking up behind me.
I spin around to face her. “No. I don’t even remember seeing you before you left.”
One corner of her mouth lifts with a crooked smile.
“I was outside, taking pictures of my parents loading up my belongings to take me to college, and you were leaving your house. You saw us outside, loading down the car and you backed up the bike. You told me good luck and not to stop seeking what I was looking for. Before you took off, you smiled and I snapped this picture.”
I shake my head. “I remember that now. I remember you were wearing this short pair of cut-off shorts. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head when you turned around and I saw it was you. I had always felt a pull toward you. I had checked you out several times over the years, but I knew you were forbidden. I thought I didn’t have a chance with an angel like you.”
She closes the distance between us. “If we’re being honest, that first day we went to the gym. I came home and touched myself while I was in the bathtub. I imagined it was your hand working me over instead of mine.” Her confession has me hard as a rock.
She presses herself to my chest, trailing her hand over my almost painful erection as her mouth moves to mine.
“I’d like to watch that show,” I whisper against her lips.
“As much as I would like to see what you’re stroking over there, it’s time to open the
doors. Are you ready?” Brad says from behind us.
She laughs and pulls away, taking my hand in hers. “I’m ready.”
The gallery opening goes smoothly. Hope sells several photographs and many people realize I’m the model from her picture. Many try buying it for reasons I don’t understand, but Hope refuses to let it go, even when she’s offered ten grand for it.
“What is the matter with you? You can take my picture any time you want.”
She smiles as she looks up at me. “As crazy as it sounds, I think of that day as the day something started between us. The look you held in your eyes when I turned around, it did something to me. I saw the passion and desire burning inside you, and even though I was lost back then and didn’t understand what that look meant, it made my body feel alive. That picture is priceless and I won’t ever sell it.”
I place my hand on the small of her back and pull her against me, landing a firm kiss. When we break away, I whisper, “does this place have a bathroom?”
Her dark eyes meet mine and she knows exactly why I’m asking.
She leads me into the back room and the second I kick the door closed she’s pressing me against the door as she starts pulling her skirt up her legs. My fingers skim beneath the thin material of her panties, pushing them down her legs until she picks up her feet to step out of them. Without thinking, I shove them into my pocket so they don’t get left behind.
I pick her up, pinning her between my chest and the door as I free myself from my pants. With her mouth on mine, I thrust into her, causing us both to gasp like we weren’t just in this exact position only a couple of hours ago. Sliding into her now feels like the first time. Her touch still causes tingles to erupt throughout my body. Her kiss steals my breath. And being buried deep inside her is like a high I’ve never before felt. She’s my addiction, my life, my love. My everything. And I’m never letting her go again.
I pound into her hard and fast, pushing us both over the edge. When she collapses into my chest, I kiss her head. “I love you, Hope.”
Wrapped in Hope: A Forbidden Romance (The Hope Series Book 1) Page 20