by Marie Browne
Metatron turned to look at me. ‘You’d kill me, Joe?’ He laughed. ‘After all I’ve done for you?’ Shrinking to his normal size he laughed and easily blocked my wild thrusts. ‘You always wanted to stop doing this. Always wanted out.’ He paused and shook his head. ‘You never really committed to all this, did you? Just going along for the ride and getting away with doing so very little.’ He stepped back easily as I swung a clumsy backhand swipe at him. ‘You have tainted me.’ He spat onto the floor. ‘Even being near you for all these years has left a greasy mark.’ He blocked another slash with his arm.
Lucifer grunted as he dragged himself to his feet, wincing as one of his wings faded to smoke then remade itself straight and whole.
‘You didn’t even realise how much we hated having you around.’ Metatron stepped back out of reach as I tried a direct stab. ‘I should have let Michael have his way with you. He really wanted to dismember you and throw some body parts into the river and feed others to the pigs. He wanted to see if you could come back after that.’ The angel skipped aside as I screamed at him and tried another wild swipe.
‘He was so angry when he learnt that I’d given you all these abilities, I thought he was going to have a seizure.’ Metatron laughed. ‘But you were so useless I just couldn’t be bothered to waste myself healing you each and every time you finished a job. I had to spend time doing it and I had to look at your stupid, ugly face.’ Metatron was beginning to froth.
Avoiding yet another stab, he glanced over at Una who was calmly walking toward us, talking rapidly to Lucifer. Metatron ignored her. ‘I always keep my promises, Joe, and I promised that this would be your last job and then you could have darkness and peace. I promised you could have your life back.’ Metatron raised his hand and deep red whorls of light began to spiral toward me. ‘Enjoy your reward, Joe.’ Metatron’s voice seemed to be fading. ‘I know I will.’
‘No!’ Una’s thin scream was the last thing I heard.
The room went silent. I could see Keril and Farr bending over me, their mouths moving, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I watched as the scene played out in silence and wondered what was going on as Una reached up to hold Metatron’s hand. There was a burst of sunshine as they both disappeared into a bubble of darkness.
CHAPTER 12
‘… OO! NOOO! NO!’ I stumbled as, suddenly upright, my feet found themselves dealing with uneven rocks instead of smooth stone floor. I staggered for a while and wondered why I seemed to be wearing a dress.
Looking around, I had no idea where I was but it smelt so familiar. It was one of those teasing scents – possibly from childhood, possibly from a dream. I peered into the night, trying to make out the features of the figures around me. Eventually my eyes adjusted to the gloom and I realised I was standing in a grove of small trees – an olive grove to be precise. I got to my feet and racked my brain trying to work out why this place seemed like home and why I felt the need to run away so very strongly.
At the sound of footsteps I turned. The long robe wrapped itself around my legs again and forced me to stumble. A strong hand caught me as I fell and lifted me to my feet.
‘Do try and be more careful.’ A tall angel smiled into my face. ‘You can’t play your part if you brain yourself on a rock now, can you?’
‘Gabriel, how did you get away?’ I couldn’t think and, every time I tried, my mind veered away on to some ridiculously benign topic. I desperately wanted a coffee and, strangely, I realised I never did do anything about those weeds in my front garden.
‘Get away?’ The angel looked at me closely. ‘You seem a little confused, are you all right?’
‘I was with Metatron. He killed Carly and tore the wings off Raphael. He wants to be God …’ I gabbled. If I could talk about it all, it would stay with me.
‘Whoa, what?’ Gabriel stared at me. ‘When did he start this?’ He grabbed my arms.
I sat back down on the rock. ‘I don’t know when it started but I’ve been with him over a thousand years.’ I grinned up at him; it seemed easier than crying. ‘So sometime before that, I should imagine.’
‘You’ve been with him for a thousand years?’ Gabriel frowned. ‘This is the second time you’ve been back here, isn’t it?’
I had no idea what he was talking about so I just shrugged.
The beautiful angel stared into the distance. ‘Damn, I don’t have much time.’ He gave me a little shake. ‘Why does Metatron think he can be God?’ He shook me harder. ‘Quickly now.’
‘He thought that God disappeared when Lucifer vanished and, if he can turn me into the Adversary and kill Lucifer, then God’s power will transfer to him.’ I gritted my teeth; Gabriel was gripping my arms fairly hard.
‘What? That makes no sense.’ Gabriel shook me again. ‘Did it work?’
‘No!’ My voice was becoming strangled. ‘You gave me the wrong knife.’
‘I did?’ Gabriel frowned then dropped my arms and sighed. ‘Look, I have to go. I’ve got important things that I need to do tonight and so have you.’
‘I … I … don’t know.’ I look around again. ‘I know you, and I feel I should know this place, but …’
Gabriel’s eyebrows headed up into his long fringe. ‘You feel as if you should know this place?’ he mimicked. ‘Really, I wouldn’t have thought you’d ever forget it.’ He turned again and checked the darkness. ‘Damn it all, I have no time.’ He nudged me with his elbow. ‘Is everything all right with me though – am I happy?’ He looked as if he already knew the answer.
I swallowed hard.
‘Damn.’ Gabriel winced. ‘I have to go.’ He smiled. ‘Just one quick hint?’
‘Don’t go anywhere near Brazil.’ I patted him on the hand. ‘Not ever. If you’re even thinking about it, put it out of your mind. If you want a holiday go to Spain or Portugal, or Cornwall’s nice.’
‘Brazil?’ Gabriel frowned. ‘Somehow I don’t think I’m going to get in trouble for doing something in Brazil.’
A gentle voice full of humour and empathy spoke quietly from the other side of the trees. ‘Ah, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’
‘That’s my cue.’ Gabriel reached out and grasped my shoulder. ‘Sorry, Joe, your turn soon.’
I watched him walk toward the unseen speaker, my stomach churning and my throat tight. I couldn’t breathe. I knew where I was and I knew who I was. I knew, finally, exactly what my sin was and I couldn’t go through this again, I just couldn’t. As my breathing shortened and I began to sweat, a heavy hand clapped me on the back. My heart leapt for the second time in as many minutes.
‘Joe. Hm – nice frock.’
I turned and stared, bewildered, into Lucifer’s eyes.
‘Come on, snap out of it.’ He gave me a little shake. ‘Here, I brought you one of those awful drinks you like so much. Holding out a cream cardboard cup with the familiar green mermaid design emblazoned on the side he gave me a nudge with the cup. The familiar smell finally gave me something “normal” to concentrate on.
‘How are you here?’ I stared at him.
He turned and stared out over the grove. ‘Time can be got around pretty much as easily as distance,’ he said. ‘I’m already here, or I was, so I have a place here and I can use it at any time – just like you.’
‘I never wanted to come back here.’ My hands were shaking but I managed to hold on to my coffee. ‘Carly?’ I asked. I ripped off the plastic lid and threw it to one side, before taking a huge mouthful of mint mocha with cream.
Lucifer shook his head and reached into a pocket from which he produced a tiny jade woman. He held it up to the starlight between two fingers and stared into its depths; it seemed to be full of stars. Grinning at me he leant over and picked up the lid of my coffee cup. ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea, do you? There would be a legion of archaeologists wetting themselves over that little find.’ He put the lid in his pocket. ‘Come on, snap out of it,’ he said, snapping his fingers in front of my eye
s. ‘You look like a bush baby on smack.’
‘I won’t do this again.’ I finished the coffee and crumpled the cup in my fist. ‘It all hinges on me – again. I spent a thousand years dead then another thousand thinking that I was paying for what I did that night …’ I paused and tried again. ‘… am going to do tonight – am not going to do tonight.’ I felt sick and lost in the time differences. ‘I won’t do it again.’ It was a feeble finish.
‘You have to.’ Lucifer gathered his leather duffle coat around himself and sat next to me. ‘If you don’t, it won’t happen and then everything goes tits up.’ He paused and frowned. ‘Everything depends on you and that damned kiss.’
‘Please, there must be another way.’ I stood up and felt my fists hit my thighs. ‘I don’t think I can even speak the language any more.’
‘Don’t worry, you can. You already are.’ Lucifer leant back on the rock, resting on his elbows. He stretched his long legs out then, crossing them at the ankle, stared at me. ‘Metatron was right, wasn’t he? Isn’t this what you wanted? You’ve always asked to stop working for him. Well, he’s given you exactly what you asked for: he’s put you back where you started, right at the beginning of all this. Unfortunately you have to live it all again.’
I could feel a lump in my throat. ‘I thought I wanted my life back, but I had no idea what I was asking for. I didn’t actually want my life back. I just wanted a life – one where I didn’t work for bloody angels. I don’t want to go through all that again – the grief and the guilt.’ I stared up at the stars. They’d changed quite a bit over 2,000 odd years. ‘I made myself the most hated man in history. I’m a bloody noun, an insult – something you call someone when there’s no other insult hideous enough.’
I shook my head and tried to breathe. ‘I’m not that man. I don’t think I ever was.’
‘So,’ Lucifer gave me a smile. ‘If I offered you a way out would you take it?’
Alarm bells began to ring and I forced myself to keep my mouth shut. This wasn’t a mate I was talking to, whatever it felt like. On the other hand, he seemed far more genuine than the angel that called itself my friend.
‘Maybe – what have you got in mind?’
The look on my face obviously tickled Lucifer and he let forth a bellowing laugh. ‘The act still has to be done. But I’ll do it for you,’ he said.
‘How?’
‘I can make myself look like you.’ He frowned. ‘Although you do seem a bit heavy on the dirt – were you really this messy?’ He shook his head and dragged himself back to the subject at hand. ‘I’ll do all that needs to be done.’
‘And what happens to me while all this is going on?’ I imagined being in Lucifer’s body – a sort of exchange programme.
‘Nothing, you’ll be asleep.’ He got to his feet and stared over his shoulder for a moment. ‘Come on, time is running out.’
I dithered. I still couldn’t think straight.
‘I need you back, Joe.’ Lucifer shrugged. ‘I need someone on Earth. The place is a mess. I need you to do your old job but for me.’
‘Can’t I just die now?’
Lucifer smiled. ‘If that’s what you really want.’ He paused with his head on one side regarding me. Fishing in his pocket he brought out the little figurine again. ‘But I think you might want to think through all of your options. You of all people might want to watch this one grow up again.’
I stared at him then the penny dropped. ‘You can re-create her? I thought that once someone was dead, they were dead.’
Lucifer nodded. ‘There was an intervention.’ He frowned and placed his hand on my chest. ‘This is a captured soul. I have been given permission to find somewhere to put it.’
‘Couldn’t you just put it back into her old body?’
Lucifer shook his head. ‘That body was damaged beyond repair, even if it could exist without a soul, which it can’t. That’s why it was so funny when people kept trying to sell them to me.’
Lucifer watched me as I ran it all through in my head. ‘I need you to want to do this,’ he said. ‘Trust me, I think you’ll be happy with the terms but …’ He tilted his head, listening. ‘Here we go. Come on – yes or no. I have to know now .’
A voice whispered loudly in what is now the predawn gloom. ‘Judas?’
Lucifer stepped quietly back into the darkness beneath a tree then raised his eyebrows, widened his eyes and spread his hands in the universal gesture of a question.
‘Judas Iscariot, are you there?’
That name – that terrible, terrible name. I won’t be known by that again. Turning toward the shadows I nod quickly. ‘Yes,’ I whispered. ‘I agree.’
There was a deep chuckle and then, once again, the floor fell away.
I woke up with a headache and had never been so pleased to see the damp patch on my bedroom ceiling. On the bedside table stood a pot of tea, a small jug of milk, a mug, three digestive biscuits and two paracetamols on a plate. There was also a small folded piece of paper, with “Joe” handwritten on the outside.
Puffing my pillows up onto my headboard I made myself comfortable and poured a mug of tea. Downing the painkillers, I began to happily dunk the biscuits. Only when they were reduced to crumbs did I finally reach for the note.
Women’s Hospital, Maternity reception, 3.30 p.m.
ps Hope you like the changes I made.
It was signed just with the letter “L”.
I looked over at the clock: 10.45 a.m. I had at least three free hours, downing the last gulp of tea. I turned over and, with a big sigh, snuggled back into the pillows.
It was only seconds before my eyes opened again and I realised that Carly was dead and my house, by rights, should be a pile of smoking rubble.
Leaping out of bed, I threw on some jeans and a pair of scruffy trainers. Hesitating at the top of the stairs I finally forced myself to walk down them. Peering into the kitchen, it looked the same as it did when I left: washing up still to be done, a couple of cupboards open where I was hunting for Carly’s chocolates.
Ignoring the pain in my chest at the thought of her, I resolutely opened the door to the lounge. It was a mess.
But it was my normal mess – the mess that was there before I brought Graham back from Metatron’s office. As I stared around at my books and weapons, I noticed that there had been some small changes. Lots of wooden ornaments now peered at me from between the books; I now had a tall lamp on my dining room table and cushions on my sofa; a big green rug snuggled up to the front of the fireplace; and in one corner of the room a group of large canvasses had been carefully placed against the wall.
I walked slowly toward them. They were all here: every single painting that Carly kept at her house was now in mine.
Leaving them where they stood, I walked out of the front door. The young rowan tree now growing in my front garden flashed as the discs and bent silver forks that hung from its branches spun in the late summer breeze. Slumped glass sculptures rubbed shoulders with stacked rusty tins and artfully placed mosaic structures hid among the long grass, nettles and decorated rustic boxes of bolted herbs. I noticed that students had thrown a couple of beer cans into my garden.
At the sound of a door closing I stared over the fence toward my neighbour’s house. The drive was neatly paved to create a parking space for a small city car. The woman, blonde and dressed in a conservative suit, nodded to me as she climbed into the car. With a smile and a short wave, she reversed onto the road and was gone.
‘This isn’t a garden, it’s a bloody rubbish tip.’ I snapped around to face Mr Morris who was leaning over the opposite fence. ‘This really is unacceptable.’ He glared at me. ‘You do realise that you’re bringing the price of the houses down around here.’
I grinned at him. ‘I don’t care.’
‘What?’ He pulled himself up to his full height. ‘Now listen here, young man, I don’t know who you think you’re talking to, but I say this lot has to be cleared.’
�
��No.’ I turned and wandered over to the fence. ‘I like it. I can do what I like with my garden, and I love it the way it is.’ I leant toward him. ‘It will be staying, so suck it up.’
‘I’ll call the council!’ He blustered, pulling away from me.
‘Do what you like.’ I headed for the door. ‘As I said, I don’t care.’ I could hear him spluttering impotently as I shut the door – hard.
Sitting on the sofa, I held the painting that I loved so much. The girl on the dock seemed to echo my feelings of loss and longing. I stared at it for so long my tea went cold. Eventually a strange clunk-flap-clunk sound brought me back to the present. I frowned and looked around for the source.
A small black cat with two tails regarded me steadily from the rug. After a moment it turned and jumped on to the sofa where it changed into a young Japanese man.
‘Bakeneko.’ I went back to looking at the painting. ‘What are you doing here?’
There was silence from the man beside me.
‘Look, I’m sorry about the bin thing.’ I put the painting down and turned to look at him. ‘You tried to warn me and I ignored you, I’m sorry.’
My apology obviously took him by surprise and he blinked at me. ‘Well …’ He lifted a foot, remembered he was human and used his finger to scratch his ear. ‘I suppose I didn’t really give you that much to go on.’ He glared at me. ‘But you definitely owe me a new pair of jeans and my boots were ruined.’
I nodded and shuffled as the silence stretched on. ‘So, what can I do for you?’ I was having trouble forcing my gaze away from the painting in my hands. ‘I’m sorry but I’m not really in the mood for social visits.’
‘I’m your new housemate.’ The words were forced out between gritted teeth.
‘What?’
Getting up, the cat demon wandered backward and forward on the rug, occasionally stopping to study the ornaments. ‘Lucifer has given me a job,’ he explained. ‘You’re going to be stuck with me for a while.’