“Well, Ms. Winthrop, will you be able to help me, or not?” Reinhardt’s voice was curt, and Eden suspected he wasn’t used to being kept waiting. “As you can imagine, this is a time-sensitive situation. The sooner we have the information, the better.”
“I’m sure you also read in the report that the possible information on the missing teenager would be contained within Mercy Harbor’s confidential database, Detective Reinhardt,” Eden said, a slight tremble in her voice the only sign of the distress she was under.
“The foundation helps scared, abused women escape from violent, even murderous, partners. In many cases these men will go to any lengths to find the women they feel have betrayed them. So, you can understand why I can’t just distribute their names and addresses without proper assurances and precautions.”
“Of course, Ms. Winthrop, I understand and can assure you that any information you provide will be kept confidential,” Reinhardt said, his tone impatient.
“I’m aware that information in police reports can be accessed by the public in most cases,” Eden insisted, her eyes turning to Leo for confirmation. He nodded at her, his brow furrowing as he listened to her side of the conversation.
“Ms. Winthrop, do you want us to try to find this girl or not?” Reinhardt snapped. “We’ve got serious investigations going on in Willow Bay right now that need our attention. If you are no longer interested in pursuing your missing person’s report, I can move on to more pressing matters.”
Eden gasped at the callousness behind his words. Before she could utter a reply, the detective’s voice continued.
“But maybe I should tell you something before you decide how to proceed.” The man’s voice dropped lower, as if he didn’t want to be overheard.
“One of our CIs – an informant we use regularly - said some pretty bad characters are looking for a girl named Star. Apparently, she’s pissed off somebody and disappeared. Probably in hiding. But she won’t be able to hide forever. She needs help.”
Eden’s head swam with the harsh words and the detective’s implications. She knew he was right about Star needing help, but she wasn’t sure she could even find Star’s family in the database. And if she did find the family’s name and last known address, would they still be there? Would Star have run home? Would she want to be found?
“I’ll try to find the information as soon as possible, Detective Reinhardt. If I manage to find it, I’ll be in touch.” She disconnected the call with a distracted swipe and looked out the window at the now deserted street. She wasn’t sure what she should do, but she wanted to get back to her car, and then back to her house; she needed time to think.
✽ ✽ ✽
Leo remained silent on the drive back to the parking garage where Eden had left her car. He looked pensive and ignored the frequent vibrations that rattled his phone in the cup holder where he’d dropped it after helping Eden inside. The radio was turned to a local station that mixed eighties music with a few more contemporary hits. She sank back in the seat and listen to a song by Tom Petty that she couldn’t name, but somehow knew the words to anyway.
“I don’t know what to do,” Eden blurted as they pulled up to the curb outside the garage. She wasn’t sure if she’d meant to say it out loud, but she had, and now Leo was looking at her with raised eyebrows.
“I’m sorry you’re having to deal with all this. I can see it’s hard for you,” Leo said, his words coming out slowly, as if he were picking out his words carefully, perhaps not wanting to upset her again.
“No, I’m the one who should be sorry…about what happened back there.” Eden inhaled deeply. Could she really tell this man the whole uncomfortable truth? Why should I trust him, after everything he’s done?
“So, what exactly did happen?” Leo asked, his dark, curious eyes resting on her face. “Has that happened to you before?”
“I have some…issues with anxiety.” Eden could feel her cheeks redden. “The doctors call it a disorder, but I prefer to think of it as a temporary reaction to certain stressful events.”
“Okay, that sounds reasonable based on what I know you’ve been through,” Leo said.
Eden studied his face, trying to judge if he was being sarcastic, or even worse, pitied her. But he just looked interested. He appeared to be waiting for her to say more.
“I wasn’t always this way,” Eden said, looking behind her to see Duke curled up and dozing on the backseat. “I used to be fearless. Probably a bit like you. A driven, high-achiever. Nothing I couldn’t do.”
Leo smiled, and nodded. “I suspect you still are, Eden. Running the foundation can’t be easy.”
“It isn’t,” Eden said, feeling her eyes water, and hating herself for it. “But I didn’t have a choice really. If I was going to make it past Mercy’s death without going crazy…well, going even more crazy that I am now.”
She gulped for air and Leo reached out and put a warm, strong hand on her arm. “Hey, you definitely are not crazy. I’m sure you have your reasons for the anxiety. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“I’m sure it’s hard for others to understand, but Mercy was…very special. She was just a newborn when Mom died, and I was five. Mercy was like a perfect little doll, but she was always delicate…fragile. And I was the strong one. At least I thought I was.”
Eden’s earliest memories centered around her younger sister; taking care of Mercy had eclipsed everything else, even grieving for her mother. Their father had been so protective, perhaps overprotective, always putting Mercy first. Eden tried to forget her childhood feelings of resentment. They shamed her even now. Eden’s frustration at always being the afterthought in their family, the one who could take care of herself, now seemed petty. Mercy had needed extra protection, and Eden had failed her.
“She sounds lucky to have had you,” Leo said, his voice quiet. He reached over and turned down the volume on the opening strains of another eighties hit. Something slow and dramatic.
Journey or Foreigner, maybe? I need a refresher on my eighties music, Eden thought.
“We were lucky to have each other. And when my father died, we were alone. Just the two of us against the world.”
Her voice broke at that, and she looked out the window and cleared her throat.
“Luckily, I had already graduated college, and Mercy had just turned eighteen, so we managed.”
Mercy’s heart hurt as she remembered her father’s overriding concern for his younger daughter when he found out his diagnosis was fatal.
Take care of her, Eden, he had pleaded, his eyes clouded over with pain, each word an effort. Mercy isn’t as strong as you. She’s so innocent; she’ll need you. Protect her.
Eden knew now that her father had been wrong to trust her. She hadn’t been the strong one at all. She blinked hard, erasing the images that refused to fade. Anxiety grew and throbbed in her chest, and she gave in to the impulse to unburden herself to the stranger beside her.
“When Mercy met Preston, I had a feeling something was off, but I didn’t know what. He was so polite, so attentive at first. I thought I was just being overly protective, like my father had been.”
“And when I moved to San Francisco and founded my start-up, Mercy said she wanted to stay behind. She wanted to stay in college here. She didn’t want to leave Preston. I thought she was finally growing up.”
Eden clasped her hands, her nerves instantly on edge as she uttered the hated name. Guilt edged her words with regret.
“I was so involved in the start-up, and Mercy seemed happy. She was ecstatic when she found out she was pregnant with Hope.” Eden imagined she could still hear her sister’s happy voice after all these years.
“But after that she quit college. Preston wanted her to be a stay-at-home mom, she’d said. By the time she had Devon years later, she was miserable, but still trying to make it work.”
Eden looked at Leo, suddenly self-conscious at her rambling.
“Sorry, I know you need to go, and here I a
m blabbing away.”
“I’m interested,” Leo said. “There’s nothing that can’t wait.”
Eden looked doubtful, but she had to admit that sharing her story with Leo was somehow cathartic. She didn’t have to pretend to be strong with him. Not like she had to with the kids, or with the volunteers at the foundation.
“Well, you know how the story goes, or at least how it ended,” Eden said, fighting back the sudden wave of sadness that threatened to suffocate her. She gulped in a breath of air before continuing.
“Preston isolated Mercy. He became possessive and controlling. Once Mercy started protesting, his behavior turned physically abusive. I helped her get an apartment, helped her work up the courage to leave.” Eden had pleaded with Mercy to get out before it was too late. She blinked back angry tears at the memory.
Why did she wait so long to leave? Why didn’t she listen to me sooner?
Eden cleared her throat, knowing the hardest words were ahead.
“After she left him, he went crazy. She was so scared. Then she won a restraining order and thought it would be okay.”
“But then he violated the order by showing up on her doorstep,” Leo said, his voice grim. “And I helped him get out on bail.”
Eden nodded, her eyes downcast as she remembered. “After the trial I made arrangements to go back to San Francisco. I was sure Preston wouldn’t be reckless enough to break the order again. The judge said that if he did, he would definitely go to jail.”
Leo’s jaw clenched. “I warned him to stay away from Mercy. I told him…well, I told him not to do anything stupid.”
“I went to Mercy’s apartment the night before she was killed. I was scheduled to fly out to San Francisco the next day. I begged her to bring the kids and come with me. She told me she was going to meet Preston the following morning to talk things through. Try to make the break-up amicable for the sake of the kids.”
Eden had been enraged by Mercy’s naïve decision to try to smooth things over with her abusive husband.
“I told her she was putting herself and the kids in danger. I was angry. I said that I couldn’t be responsible for what might happen and wouldn’t be around to pick up the pieces.”
Eden’s eyes were bright with unshed tears as she looked over at Leo. “But she just smiled. You know what she said?”
Leo shook his head slightly and waited.
“She said, ‘I know you’ll always be there for me, Eden. You always have been. And if anything happens to me, I know you’ll be there for Hope and Devon, too.’”
Eden had stared at her sister in resignation. How could she deny the one thing that had been a constant in her life? She was her sister’s keeper. And nothing would change that. Not an abusive husband, or the three thousand miles that would separate them once Eden was back in San Francisco.
“The next morning, I stopped by her apartment to try to talk some sense into her one last time.” Eden’s throat constricted with the memory.
“Preston’s car was outside when I pulled up. I got out of my car, but I can’t really remember everything that happened after that.”
She closed her eyes against the pain, oblivious to Leo sitting beside her, the words spilling out like blood from a fresh wound.
“The next thing I knew I was in an ambulance and I heard someone screaming Mercy’s name, over and over.”
Eden could still hear her own voice wailing her sister’s name. It was a voice that would echo through many of her nightmares in the following years. Somehow, she’d known Mercy was gone, even though she couldn’t remember what had happened. She had looked at her hands and seen blood. So much blood.
Eden sniffled and dug for a tissue in her purse. She wiped her nose and dabbed under her eyes.
“They told me I had called 911. They said my sister had been shot, and that her husband had been shot, too. They said it was an apparent murder-suicide.”
Eden shivered as a vivid image flashed in front of her eyes: a room cruelly lit by the morning sun; two blood-spattered bodies sprawled on the floor.
Leo’s big, warm hand closed over her trembling fist. She didn’t pull away. It felt too good. It made her feel alive again. She’d been numb for so long.
“I had to identify Mercy’s body. She’d been beaten, her face was…ruined. And she wasn’t there anymore. It was her body, but it wasn’t her. I panicked. I couldn’t breathe. I thought I was going to die. Part of me wanted to die.”
She’d never said those words aloud before to anyone, not even to Reggie. The truth of it shamed her. Leo squeezed her hand but didn’t speak. She looked up and saw her own pain reflected in his dark eyes and turned away.
Looking out the window, she said, “I couldn’t bear to face what lay ahead. I just wanted to give up. But I knew I was going to have to tell my sister’s children that their mother had died, and that their father had killed her. After that, I was going to have to live in a world without my sister. A world where terrible things could and did happen. The fear…it…just took over for a while. Sometimes it still does.”
“So, you stayed in Willow Bay after that? To take care of your sister’s children?” Leo asked, keeping his hand on hers.
Eden nodded as she raised the tissue to her eyes again.
“Why not take the kids to San Francisco? Start a new life?” Leo asked.
“I knew Mercy wanted Hope and Devon to grow up in her home town, surrounded by friends and familiar faces. She’d have hated for them to grow up in a big city full of strangers,” Eden said, her voice sounding defensive to her own ears.
The other reasons were harder to explain. I wanted to be close to home, too. I wanted to feel close to Mercy. Everything had changed. I had changed.
“I’m sure your sister would be proud of what you’ve accomplished,” Leo said. “Raising the kids and starting up a foundation in her name? I don’t know how you managed.”
“With counseling and a few friends,” Eden said, looking back at Duke, who was still curled up in the back of the car. “Hope and Devon make it all worthwhile, They’re great kids. Truly special. And so like their mother. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Eden’s words hung in the chilled air of the car. Outside the sun was shining again as if the rain had never come at all. Leo wished he could ease the pain he heard in Eden’s voice, but he knew better than anyone else what losing someone felt like. Nothing he said could make that kind of pain go away.
“Sounds like you made the right decision, then,” Leo said. “Sounds like you’re doing pretty good despite it all.”
But, did I make the right decisions?
Leo wondered. The only thing that had gotten him through the darkest times had been his focus on law school and then building up his law practice.
For the last twelve years he’d been on a quest to fight back against the injustices he saw all around him. The hours of work and study had required all his attention and energy; the effort had consumed him. It had left no time for a personal life, no time to form relationships. Looking over at Eden he admired her strength, and also envied her for having a family that brought her joy.
Eden sighed and pulled her hand away, before tucking her tissue back into her purse. Leo could see her straighten her spine, preparing to go back out into the world where she had to appear strong, no matter how much she was hurting. His hand felt empty, and he realized with a sudden clarity that he didn’t want her to leave. He didn’t want her to open the door and end the intimacy they’d shared. It was an all too rare occurrence for him, and he didn’t want it to end.
“Before you go…” he said, not quite sure what he was going to say next. “I…I wanted to say again how sorry I am for what happened with Preston. I mean, I’m sorry that I’m the one who represented him. That I got him out on bail. And I hate what happened because of it.”
Eden grew still, and then stared over at him with an expression of dismay.
Finally, she r
an a slender hand through her still-damp hair and said, “No, it isn’t your fault, Leo. I know that. Of course, I do. Sometimes it’s just easier to feel anger than sadness. It hurts less. And it helps to have something or someone to be angry with…other than me.”
“I can understand that,” Leo said, relieved she’d exonerated him, but not ready to excuse himself so easily. “But I do regret it. It’s one of many things that I feel guilty about.”
“What do you have to feel guilty about? And why do you distrust the police so much?” Eden asked, turning toward him. “I’ve shared my deep, dark secrets…so what’s your story?”
Leo watched Eden’s face, not fully convinced she had shared everything. Her green eyes still looked guarded. He wondered what secrets lurked behind them. If he was lucky, he would get a chance to find out. Although he knew some things were just too painful to speak about.
He rarely talked about his past, because when he did, he usually ended up feeling angry and resentful. He needed all his energy to be focused on his mission. He couldn’t afford to waste energy on negativity that wouldn’t get him anywhere. His father had let the anger eat away at him until he couldn’t take it anymore. Leo wouldn’t let that happen to him.
“It’s a depressing story,” Leo said, forcing the words to come out. Something inside him wanted to share his story with the damaged woman next to him. He felt a pull that he didn’t understand.
“When I was in college my mother was murdered. Someone came into our house one night and…killed her.”
He couldn’t bring himself to say the words he would need to use to describe what had been done to his mother. The knife. The blood. The gaping wound in the slender, pale throat that only a few years before had worn pearls to his high-school graduation.
“The police immediately focused in on my father, who had been working a double-shift.” Leo stopped, surprised to find a lump in his throat. He had thought there were no more tears left. But he needed to say this. Needed to let Eden, and whoever else would listen, know what a good man his father had been.
“My father had been working double shifts a lot. He was saving up money to send me to law school,” Leo cleared his throat.
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