by J. S. Cooper
“I don’t think this is a game.”
“What is it you want from me, Lola?” He touched the side of my face softly.
“What is it I want from you? You’re the one that—”
“You were going to leave without saying goodbye?” He frowned and stared at the bag in my hand. His voice was accusing as he stared into my eyes. “You were just going to fuck me and leave me?”
“Xavier.” I blushed at the crudeness of his words.
“Yes?”
“That’s not what was happening.” I frowned and sighed. “Look, I don’t want to do this anymore.” I bit my lower lip. “What you said yesterday, you were right. I don’t want to be in this world. I don’t want to play these games. I don’t want to be used or feel like I’m a pawn in a game you’re playing with your friends and family.”
“You think I’ve been using you as a pawn?” He was angry now, and I swallowed hard.
“I don’t know,” I said softly. “I just don’t know anymore. I guess we can talk–”
“Enough!” His voice was loud and abrupt. “I’m done talking.”
“So what do we do now?” I took a step back and felt the door behind me.
“What do you think?” He took a step toward me and I felt his hardness against my stomach as he leaned into me, his face hovering above mine.
“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking,” I said childishly, and his eyes narrowed again. His green eyes surveyed me in annoyance and I found it hard to look away from their sparkling brilliance.
“Now you receive your punishment.” He grabbed my wrists and pulled them above my head and back against the door.
“My punishment?” I swallowed hard and he grabbed my bag from my hand and dropped it onto the ground. “Punishment for what?”
“Trying to leave.” He growled again and I felt his tongue on my neck as his hands slid down the side of my body, stopping at my waist and working their way back up again.
“You’re going to give me a punishment for trying to leave?” I licked my lips as his hands caressed the curve of my breasts.
“Don’t you think you deserve one?” His fingers pinched my nipples and I moaned. Xavier smiled at the sound and leaned down and whispered in my ear.
“Are you ready?” His tone was soft and his breath tickled my inner ear. I moved against him slightly and he held my body more firmly against the door.
“Ready for my punishment?” I whispered, my mind filling with ideas of what he had planned. What would his punishment be? My legs tingled as I thought of all the things he might do to me. I groaned as I realized that I was turned on by the thought of doing some kinky-ass shit with Xavier. All thoughts of leaving right away had fled from my mind.
“Yes, your punishment.”
“Punishment for leaving?” I gazed into his eyes, challenging him. “I can’t leave? Is this a prison? Am I your prisoner? Am I your sex slave, Xavier?”
“What do you think, Lola?” His lips pressed against mine and he kissed me hard. I stood there, still as a statue, doing everything in my power to stop myself from kissing him. He pulled away from me after a few seconds, looking annoyed that I hadn’t kissed him back.
“What are you going to do to me?” I whispered, my mind imagining myself laid out on his bed with my ass in the air as he spanked me. I stifled another groan as I realized that would be a punishment I might be quite fond of.
“I think that’s for me to know...” He grabbed my arms and pulled me against him tight. His arms wrapped around my waist and I felt my breasts crushed against his chest and I could feel his cock wiggling against my stomach.
“Xavier.” I swallowed. “What are you doing?”
“Lola, that’s my question for you. What is it that you think you’re doing? Do you think I’m just going to let you walk out of here?” He stepped back from me suddenly and I felt bereft without his warm touch next to me.
“I just thought it would be better if I left before you woke up.”
“Better in what way?” He shook his head. “Do you think that the guard wouldn’t call me as soon as you walked downstairs? Did you really think you could just leave and never see me again?” His eyes searched my face. “And more importantly, is that what you wanted?”
“I...Xavier...I…” My voice croaked as I stared at him in confusion.
“I love you, Lola. I love you.” He grabbed my face and kissed me softly. “Don’t you understand that that’s why I don’t want you to leave? Don’t you understand that that’s why I need you to be with me?”
“You love me?” I said in shock and shook my head. “You’re just saying that.”
“I never just say anything.” He shook his head. “I love you and I’m going to show you exactly what that means. I’m going to show you exactly what it means to be mine.”
“What are you going to do to me, Xavier?” I said anxiously, my knees weakening at his words. He pulled me back away from the door and toward the bed, and I watched as he pulled out some candles from a drawer and lit them and placed them around the room. And then suddenly, I could hear the sounds of jazz playing from hidden speakers in the corners of the room.
“Xavier, what are you going to do?” I gasped, wondering what was going to happen next.
“What am I not going to do?” He grabbed my wrists and spun me around. “I’m going to show every inch of you exactly who I am and why I do what I do. I’m going to make every fiber of your body wonder where I’ve been all of your life. And I’m going to show you through words and actions just how much I love you.”
“You can try to do that, I suppose,” I said flippantly, my stomach churning in excitement. I could hardly believe that this moment was real. It was something I’d never expected to happen.
“Oh, I’m going to do more than try.” His voice dropped. “I’m Xavier Van Romerius. I’m the Crown Prince of Romerius and I’m going to make sure that you never forget that.”
“Or what?” I said softly, my heart racing as I saw the handcuffs suddenly appear in his hands.
“You’ll just have to wait and see.” His green eyes danced as he placed one of the metal cuffs over my right wrist. My breath caught as his eyes darkened and he leaned forward to whisper in my ear. “ "No one leaves me, Lola, no one. You were going to try to leave earlier, but I’m glad that I woke up before you left. I’m going to show you exactly what a prince does to his lady-love, in the privacy of his room.”
“I didn’t leave.” I swallowed hard. “You caught me before I left.”
“And?” His eyes darkened.
“Is this...” I stumbled on the words as I spoke. I didn’t know how to ask him if this was about love or sex. Did he really love me or did he just want my body? Was I just a possession to him?
“Is there something you want to ask me, Lola?” Xavier pushed me back onto the bed and sat down. His naked tanned chest teased me with its sexiness and I swallowed hard as I stared up at him.
“No, why would you think I wanted to ask you something?”
“I sense your emotions. I sense how you feel.” And then he laughed. “And you were just about to ask me something. What are you feeling, Lola?”
“I’m not feeling anything,” I lied.
“I want to tell you something. I need to tell you that there is no such thing as true love, Lola. People come and go from your life. You can’t count on anyone being true to you, other than you.” His eyes burned into mine. “So you must always speak your mind and live for the here and now. You never know what will happen in life.”
“That’s sad that you feel that way, Xavier.” I spoke softly, my heart breaking at his words. “I believe in true love. I believe in one person loving another so much that they won’t let anything get in their way.” I licked my lips as he lay down next to me. “So what, then, do your words of love mean? Do you love me for me, or do you just want something from me?”
“Don’t be a fool. Look around you, Lola. Everyone wants something. No one does
anything just to be nice. No one loves someone for no reason at all.”
“I do,” I said, my heart breaking as I gazed at him. “I love you simply because you are you.”
He stared at me then, his green eyes darkening at the look on my face. I could tell that I’d unnerved him. I could tell that that wasn’t the response he’d wanted or expected to hear.
“I’m not good enough for you, Lola. I can’t give you what you need and deserve.” His voice broke as he spoke. “The path I’m on isn’t for someone like you. I wish that it wasn't true, but it is. I do not deserve you.” He jumped off of the bed and looked at me in anguish.
“What path is that?”
“The path of absolution.” His gaze darkened. “The path of change.”
“Who do you want to change?”
“I want to change the roles royals play in Europe. I want to create a new history.”
“You think you can change the royal families of Europe?” I gazed at him, somewhat confused at what this had to do with his loving me and not believing in happily ever after.
“I have to change them,” he said softly. “It’s a dark history we have. If I could tell you stories of truth, if I could tell you things that people have done in the name of power…if I could tell you, then you would understand.”
“What things, Xavier?”
“Rapes, murders, slavery.” He leaned forward. “Casper’s line has a history of evil.”
“Isn’t Casper’s family related to yours, though?” I frowned.
“Not by blood.” He shook his head and his eyes darkened with anger as he thought of his cousin. “I hate him for what he tried to do to you. When he had you in that room, Lola, I was so scared. I thought he was going to do something bad, something horrible. Something that would have made me kill him.”
“What did you think he was going to do?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” He shook his head. “It isn’t something I want you to think about.”
“Did you think he was going to rape me? Or did you think I would assent to his advances?” My voice was soft. “And which one would have been worse to you?”
Xavier glowered at me and ignored my question as he continued talking. “He wants to initiate Tarquin into his world and into the parties.”
“I thought only the oldest brothers could attend those parties?”
“Casper makes the rules. He can change them as he pleases.”
“What does he want to initiate Tarquin into?”
“The Society of Brothers,” Xavier said and rubbed his forehead. He grimaced as he looked at me. “I shouldn’t be telling you any of this.”
“I’m glad you’re telling me,” I said softly. “Do you really love me, Xavier?”
“I do.” He nodded and groaned. “I’m a fool, but I do.”
“Do you trust me?” I said slowly, my eyes not leaving his.
“I do.” He nodded again and my heart flipped over as he sat on the bed again and grabbed my hand. “I trust you with my heart.”
“Then tell me what you want to do. Tell me how you want to make this change,” I said softly. “Let me be a part of this.”
“We’ll have to go to another party. A grander ball. A darker ball. You’ll be introduced to a world of games and glitter.” His eyes glanced down at me. “I don’t know...” His voice trailed off.
“I want to do this, Xavier. I want to be a part of this.”
“Okay,” he said, and suddenly he smiled as he leaned down to kiss me. “I was hoping you would say that.” And then I kissed him back, and all thoughts of leaving were vanquished from my mind. All thoughts of leaving and going back to London without him were gone. I didn’t want to be without Xavier. He was the Prince Charming I’d been looking for. Granted, he wasn’t the Prince Charming of fairytales, but he was mine and he loved me. That was good enough for me. It was better than good enough. I was going to show Xavier that I could live in his world. I was going to show him that true love could last forever. I was going to show him that there was such a thing as happily ever after, even if I hadn’t truly believed it until this very moment.
Chapter Six
Lola
There’s a magical moment that occurs when two people who like each other stare at each other. There’s a spark of electricity that seems to flow between just the two of them, and it doesn’t matter how many other people are there. That moment is between just the two of them. That’s how I felt when Xavier and I entered the grand entrance of the Royal Palace. He grabbed my hand, squeezed it tightly, and looked into my eyes with a deep, penetrating stare.
“It’s all a game. If you remember that it’s a game, then everything will be okay.” Xavier’s voice was low as we walked into the palace.
“It’s hard to think of it as a game,” I said, taking a deep breath and hoping that the fresh air would provide me with the courage that I felt I was lacking.
“It’s hard, but that is what this is, Lola.” He stopped and looked toward me, his eyes scanning my face carefully. His green irises glowed like the gentle blades of grass in the morning as the sun was rising. They were gentle yet powerful in their beauty and elegance, warm and stoic all at the same time. “If you want to leave, just let me know.” He squared his shoulders and I could see doubt in his eyes for a split second. “Maybe this isn’t a good idea.”
“No, we have to do this.” I shook my head. “I can do this. I’m strong, Xavier. Stronger than you think.”
“I know.” He nodded. “You have to be strong to have stuck with me through all of this.”
“You’re a complex man.” I laughed, suddenly feeling light inside.
“I think you’re the only one that has ever truly seen me for who I am.” His eyes pierced into mine and he just stared at me for a few seconds. “You’ve seen beyond my exterior, beyond my being a prince, beyond my abrasiveness. You’ve seen me for who I am and I still can’t quite believe that you’re here.”
“You and me both.” I laughed and he leaned forward and caressed my lips gently. His thumb brushed against my lower lip and moved gently back and forth.
“If ever there was a rose as beautiful as you, I’d plant it in my garden for when my days were blue. And I’d sit there and watch it, all the days through. Because that rose in my garden—well, it would remind me of you.”
“I always knew you were a romantic, Xavier van Romerius.” I smiled at him as my heart thudded at his words.
“That’s good that you’ve thought so highly of me.” He winked at me and then stilled, his face becoming serious once again. “Tonight, though, there will not be any romance. Tonight is not about romance. Tonight you will witness me as a man that I don’t want to be. Tonight you will be introduced to a world that I didn’t want to show you.”
“It’s okay, Xavier.” I touched his shoulder. “I can handle it.” I smiled at him, but my stomach was churning in fear and worry. To be honest, I wasn’t really sure if I was going to be able to handle it. I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into. I wasn’t sure what I was going to see. What was Xavier going to do? And would I be able to forgive him or myself if it crossed the mark? I loved this man and all of his flaws. I knew that he wasn’t perfect. He was human, and had secrets that would make stronger women than me flee. But that was the beauty of love. It made us stronger. It gave us hearts of steel and guts of iron. I had a shield around me that could withstand a war for this man. I had a passion that could overcome mountains. My love for Xavier burned in my soul and ran through my veins, and I was willing to take this chance. I needed to show him that I could be there for him. And I also wanted a role in bringing Violeta and Casper down, after everything that they had done to ruin Xavier’s name and to bring him down. I just couldn’t let this happen to him again. I couldn’t let them try to destroy the man I loved. The man who had stolen my heart the very first night we’d met.
“Let’s do this.” I licked my lips nervously and inhaled and exhaled a few times. “I’m
ready.”
“Just let me know if you’re uncomfortable.”
“I will.” I nodded.
“This will be not be what you’re expecting…” His voice trailed off and he looked nervous.
“How do you know what I’m expecting?”
“I didn’t tell you everything.” He closed his eyes. “Look Lola, there’s—”
“Xavier. Lola.” Casper’s voice boomed as he interrupted Xavier and walked toward us. “I’m surprised to see you both here.”
“Why?” I offered him a superior smile and tried to hide my distaste as I gazed at his handsome face. How could someone who looked so handsome and pure be as disgusting as he was? I didn’t understand how my body could warm as I stared into his blue eyes, even when I knew how undeniably evil and callous he was.
“I’m glad that you’re both here.” He kissed both of my cheeks and pulled away. “It’s always good to see you, Lola. So beautiful and pure, like a breath of fresh air.”
“I wish I could say the same,” I muttered as I glared at him. I was already feeling uncomfortable and I hoped this would be the first and last that I’d see of Casper tonight.
“Casper, there you are.” Violeta appeared out of nowhere and walked up to us with an angelic smile on her beautiful face.
“Violeta.” Xavier nodded and I scowled at the woman who had tried to make me leave Xavier with a lie.
“Darling, you look even more handsome than the last time we were here,” Violeta said sweetly and stepped her right leg forward so that we could see the long expanse of her naked leg through the high slit in her silky midnight-blue dress.
“Is that possible?” Xavier raised an eyebrow at her.
“I didn’t think so.” Violeta reached over and brushed something off of his jacket, her perfectly manicured fingernails tapping against his chest lightly. “But then I’ve been known to be wrong.”
“We all make mistakes.” Xavier nodded and I was fuming. Did he seriously think that Violeta had made a mistake by saying that he was the father of the baby she’d given up? How could he be so chummy with her already? It infuriated me that this bitch was being treated with anything other than scorn.