by Alexa Riley
6
Libby
My eyes flutter open. The feeling of someone watching me pulls me from sleep. My bathroom light spills softly into my room, and I see Jasper’s silhouette in a chair in the corner. The sight startles me, and I roll to my side and wonder how long he's been there. I can’t make out more than his outline at this distance and without more light.
“Still sleep with the light on?” He nods to the bathroom door. His voice is low, but I hear him.
“I don’t like being alone in the dark.”
“You’re not alone.”
He stands up and into the light a little. It’s then I see he’s only wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants as he walks to the bathroom and turns the light off. The room is plunged into darkness, and I sit up in bed. Suddenly, I feel his warm hand on my cheek, and I can’t stop myself from leaning into it. The darkness makes me feel like I can hide in it. Hide with him.
“You feeling better? Mom was worried,” he says, and then pauses for a second. “I was worried.”
“Who’s Emily?” I ask, ignoring his question. His hand on my cheek stops moving. My heart starts to pound. I shouldn’t have asked.
“She cleans my house every other week,” he says. “She was calling because she left one of her cleaning supply bags last time she was there.”
“Oh,” is all I can get out. Relief floods my system, and the knot that had formed in my stomach untangles. I hated thinking he had some girlfriend coming over so much she brings a bag to stay the night. I shouldn’t care, but I do. I know we can’t ever be together, but it still hurts to think about. “I’ve never been to your house.”
I hear him let out a breath and I feel him sit down on the bed. “Did it bother you, thinking I had a girlfriend? That’s what Mom thought. That Emily was someone I was seeing. Is that what you thought, too?”
“Yes,” I whisper, feeling my face warm. Once again I’m thankful for the darkness.
“I hated seeing Owen touch you,” he admits, and I close my eyes at his words. “I hate thinking about anyone touching you.”
The air is charged between us, our darkened confessions creating something that hasn’t been between us before.
“What’s happening?” I whisper, but it might as well be a scream with how quiet the room is.
I feel Jasper lean closer to me, and I mirror his movement. My body has a mind of its own, all rational thought has left. It knows what it wants, and my head isn’t going to stop it. This isn’t what I should do, but it doesn’t care. All this time I’d always thought this crush was one-sided, but was I wrong? Did Jasper look at me as more than just a little sister? I wasn’t sure if that made this better or worse. The things he said to me in his truck flood back, and now they don’t seem like they were coming from a protective brother. They sounded like the words of a jealous lover.
The quiet between us is allowing us to bare our secrets, and the safety of it lets me explore my darkest desires. I close my eyes and allow the thoughts and feelings that I’ve tried to shut down to take over. Desire is raging inside me, and for this one moment, I allow myself to give in to them.
I feel his hand come to my cheek, and he turns my face towards him. My eyes spring open when I feel his breath on my lips. I’ve adjusted to the darkness now and can make out his face, so close to mine. Some light from the moon spills in through my curtains, and suddenly I can see what’s in front of me.
“What’s happening is something I’ve wanted to do for longer than I should have.”
He growls the last part as his warm mouth lands on mine. The kiss isn’t soft like I was expecting. It’s not careful or tentative; it’s intense and hungry. In the blink of an eye, I find myself kissing him back with the same urgency. All the years of telling myself that this was wrong and I shouldn’t want my brother in this way are pushed aside as desire takes over. I lean into him with fervor, opening my mouth to try and breathe him into me.
My hands go around his neck and he pulls me into his lap. I feel his hands on my ass, sliding under the long sleep shirt I’m wearing, and I moan. He breaks the kiss suddenly and whispers against my lips.
“Shhh.”
Then his lips are back on mine, but this time he pushes his tongue into my mouth. I can taste the warm, slick heat as it touches mine, and the feeling is foreign yet erotic. I’ve wanted this for so long, and finally it’s happening.
He devours my mouth, and I take in as much of this as I can. I want to remember every second of this, every single detail, because I may never have this again. This stolen moment in the dark that no one will ever know about. It will be our little secret. One that, when I lie in bed again in the dark, I’ll replay over and over in my head.
I push into him further, wanting to be as close as I can, ignoring all the fading thoughts that this is wrong. I deepen the kiss, choosing want over sense, and move my body against his. I need the friction as my legs go around his waist and I tighten my thighs, pulling me close to him. His cock is settled against my core, and I move my lower body against his. Instinct takes over once again and everything else is forgotten. My mind shuts off, and I allow all my primal needs to flood me.
He growls into my mouth, and I swear the sound vibrates through my whole body and goes straight to where I need it most. My core tightens and heat floods my veins as my body explodes with pleasure. I break away from his lips and throw my head back. I release a moan, but Jasper's hand goes over my mouth, muffling the sound that I’m too far gone to hide.
I let my head fall forward and enjoy the sensations of the orgasm, rocking through the pulses. Every part of me is alive, and for a moment I feel like I’m home again. The lost feelings from earlier gone, and in their place are sensations of comfort and love.
Slowly, Jasper takes his hand from my mouth, his heavy breathing the only sound in the room.
“Oh my God,” I whisper as reality sets in.
Jasper’s hands slide to my hips under my shirt as his forehead rests on mine.
“Don’t say anything,” he says softly, his hands sliding up my back, stroking me up and down. His mouth moves to my cheek, and he places little kisses there. I don’t know how long we sit like that in the darkness, with his hand gently petting me. It’s like he can’t stop touching me. The roughness of his palm feels so good on my skin, and it makes me feel precious and delicate under his hands. The silence around us feels peaceful, and all thoughts are held at bay.
Too soon, he moves us by scooting back on the bed. I worry that he’s going to push me away, but instead he holds me tight and lies on the bed with me straddling him. When he’s settled me on top of him, his hand goes back up my shirt and he continues to rub me up and down.
I try to fight sleep, not wanting the morning to come. The light will shine on what we’ve done and will make all of this feel dirty and wrong. I want to hold on to this perfect moment and not lose this feeling, but the light will come, no matter how much I wish for it not to. It will show what this could do to our family and our parents whom we love so much. What will Jasper be like tomorrow? I don’t want to face any of it, and I want to lie with him like this forever. But his strokes are so soft on my skin, and the smell of him filling my lungs is too comforting. I can’t fight the pull, and I succumb to sleep.
7
Jasper
“Oh fuck,” I moan quietly as her mouth surrounds my cock. Her warm, wet tongue is circling the bulbous head, and I grip her soft, silky hair tighter as I fuck into it. I feel myself bump the back of her throat, but she doesn’t make a sound. Only swallows around my length, telling me she wants my cum there. She wants it inside her body, and I give over, letting her have whatever part of me she wants.
I squeeze my eyes shut and rest my head against the cool tile of the shower, letting my orgasm roll through me. I release my dick and watch the last of my cum wash down the drain as my fantasy dissolves and the water washing over me turns to shame.
I can’t believe I went in her room last night, and I
I went in to check on her after Mom said she didn’t feel good. But when I got there, I stood beside her bed and watched her sleep. After a while, I went to the chair in the corner of her room and sat down, unable to leave her. I’d spent so much time trying to keep her at arm’s length, scared of what I might do if she got too close, so I wanted to soak in the moment. Simply watch her without having to worrying about anything, feeling calm at having her close.
My gaze traced every inch of her exposed skin, memorized every curve. The softness of her cheek and the way the light hit it. The creamy pale skin of her thigh that was sticking out from under the covers. The small birthmark shaped like a strawberry on the inside of her thigh that I’d see when she wore bathing suits. I sat there and remembered how I’d dream about what it tasted like, how it would feel to touch it, and if she grazed her fingers over it when she put her hands between her legs to touch herself.
I burned the image of her into my brain until she woke, feeling my eyes on her. I should have left right then, but I was weak. Looking at her for so long had broken down my resistance and I couldn’t walk away from her. So instead of doing what I should have done—and what she deserved—I turned off the light. I didn’t want to see the look on her face when I touched her. To face the rejection in the bright light. I knew what I was going to do from the moment I walked in the room, and I couldn’t bear to see the look on her face when I finally did it. I know my sister loves me, but she’s still my sister, and what I wanted to do to her was far from innocent.
“Stepsister,” I say through clenched teeth as I turn the shower off and reach for my towel.
I replay it all in my mind as I towel off and walk into my bedroom. I double-check that the door is locked and I lie back naked on my bed, reaching for the baby oil on the bedside table.
I put some in my hand and pray that one more orgasm will be enough to get me through the day. Once I’m alone tonight, I can do it again, but I need to somehow manage to keep my dick under control until then. Or I’ll be reaching for her again. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought of all the places in this house I could pull her into. Steal a few moments and no one would know.
Lubing up my cock, I close my eyes tightly and think about her little pussy rubbing on my cock. How needy she was for me, too—something I hadn’t seen coming. How she whimpered for it, and how my dick got my baby sister off. I should be ashamed of that thought, but it somehow gets me impossibly harder. My shaft grows with need as if I didn’t just jack off in the shower. I use my other hand to rub my balls as I think about the kiss and how fucking perfect it felt. Her bee-stung lips so soft against mine, how her tongue tasted like brown sugar.
She slept on top of me, but I never even closed my eyes. I petted her soft body like I would a kitten, and she purred on top of me. The feel of her soft skin so familiar, yet so new and undiscovered. My hard cock rested against my stomach, and her panty-covered pussy pressed on top of it as she slept. All I wanted to do was push them to the side and slip into her wetness. Take what I’ve always thought of as mine, even if I couldn’t have it. I knew I couldn’t take advantage of her like that, and fucking her sweet little cunt is something I don’t think we could come back from.
Maybe we could have this, our own little secret petting. Didn’t some siblings explore when they were kids? Is this so different? Only we aren’t little kids, and my feelings for her run far deeper. It’s not a brotherly feeling. But maybe we could have our moments in the dark and never tell a soul. It could be my one way of touching her but never letting it go too far.
I grip my cock tighter, thinking about the way her body shook when she came in my arms. How I had to cover her mouth with my hand so we wouldn’t get caught, and how much more that thought turned me on.
What if our parents had caught us fooling around? Would I have been relieved to finally have it out in the open, or would Libby’s horror at being caught have been like ice water all over the moment? Did she even know what she was doing last night?
I snuck out this morning because I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. But if I’m being honest, I did it so I wouldn’t have to face the look of regret on her face. I couldn’t stand the thought of her not wanting me how I wanted her, even though we can’t be together.
Giving my cock another squeeze, I focus on the moment we shared and what it felt like to have her curves pressing against me. After all these years of wanting to hold her close, I was finally able to have that dream come true. I feel the build of the cum, and I know any second I’m going to blow. I lick my lips and whisper her name as I release onto my hand and lower abs. I keep rubbing through the peak of pleasure until the ache turns to pain.
It’s then that the pulse of the orgasm in my ears recedes and I hear a small gasp. I jerk my head to see Libby standing in the doorway of my bedroom.
Her hair's a mess from sleep, and her sleep shirt is falling off one shoulder, exposing her soft, creamy skin. Her eyes are wide with shock, and her cheeks are burning bright red, as she stares at the mess I’ve made. The one from thinking of her.
I open my mouth to say something, frozen in place by her stare, but Mom’s voice cuts me off and snaps us both out of our trance.
“Libby, Jasper, breakfast!” she shouts from downstairs.
“Baby girl—” I say, but Libby cuts me off.
“I’m sorry,” she says, before she closes my door quietly.
I jump out of bed and go to the bathroom to clean myself up. Quickly, I take care of business and throw on some jeans and a shirt before I go to her room. I want to try to talk to her before we go downstairs. Maybe apologize for what happened last night and explain that even though I don’t regret it, it can’t happen again. But when I see Libby’s door is wide open, I know she’s already in the kitchen and there’s no way I can talk to her now.
“Fuck,” I grumble to myself before I head to the kitchen to join my family. I’m sure this won’t be awkward at all.
8
Libby
I sit on the front porch watching Ned and my mom take off down the driveway. A sense of dread settles in my stomach because I know what’s coming. I could see it in Jasper's face most of the morning. He wants to talk, and I want to avoid it. I’m not ready to face what’s coming now, or ever. I wish I’d never closed my eyes last night and fallen asleep. Then I could have soaked up a few more moments before it all came crashing down.
I tried to keep myself busy making pies to take to the diner, but eventually I ran out of supplies. The whole time, Jasper sat at the kitchen breakfast bar watching me. Mom volunteered to get me more ingredients while she and Ned were antique shopping in town. Then Ned suggested they both go see a movie after, so they decided to have a date night.
That meant hours alone with Jasper.
Before a few days ago, I would have welcomed this. Probably because he’s been avoiding me recently, but he doesn’t seem to be avoiding me now. Unless I count waking up alone.
My first thought this morning was to find him. Still drowsy from sleep, I thought last night was all a dream. I stumbled into his room only to find him touching himself, my name falling from his lips as he came all over his stomach. I wondered how many times he’d done that before now. Lying in bed thinking about me, like I always think about him when I touch myself. The erotic sight was more than I could take, and like always when it comes to Jasper, reality came flooding back in when Mom yelled for us. I ran from the room like an embarrassed little girl.
I hear the boards on the front porch creak under Jasper’s steps as he comes to sit down next to me. His legs are so long he has to rest them two steps down from us. We sit in silence, and I wish I could lean into him. I want to rest my head on him like I would when we were kids, but I keep looking forward, feeling his eyes on me.
“I was thinking about you this morning,” he finally says, breaking the silence. My face warms. There is no darkness to hide in right now. The sun is shining down bright and lighting everything up. “Hell, I’m always thinking about you, Libby.”
I peek over at him, and his blue eyes look even darker. Sadder.
“You can’t stand to be around me most of the time,” I throw back at him. I know he’s been avoiding me. I thought it was because I annoyed him, but now things aren’t looking as clear as I once thought they were. I’m the silly girl wanting the older guy who doesn’t see her as anything more than a kid. But this is all jumbled up and I’m trying to piece it together.
He lets out a humorless laugh. “I want nothing more in this whole fucking world than to be close to you, baby girl.”
His jaw clenches and his fists ball up on his lap, like he’s trying to keep from touching me.
“Me, too,” I admit.
His mouth opens slightly as his hands go to grab me, but I jump up to my feet, barely dodging his touch. He follows suit, coming to his feet, too, his eyes locked on me and that sadness gone. All that’s left behind is hunger.
“I’ve been holding back thinking you didn’t want me. That you…” He points his finger at me. “…Only saw me as your older brother.” He says it as if he can read my mind. “I didn’t even think dating or men were on your mind until Dad said something last time I called. I couldn’t stop myself from coming down here and checking on you. Wondering what kind of man got your attention. What lucky fucking bastard had finally caught your eye.”
I don’t know what he’s talking about. I haven’t been dating, and I don’t know why Ned would tell him that. There had been a little push from my mom about it, her asking if I thought about dating, but that was pretty much it. Only a few comments from her, but nothing specific.
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